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(Anon-DIT)   I'm trapped in a "Your Mom" joke   (anondit.com) divider line 522
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13063 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2013 at 11:36 AM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



522 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-19 10:39:18 AM
Join in?
 
2013-11-19 10:39:44 AM
Ok, Jen.
 
2013-11-19 10:41:04 AM
I bet names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.
 
2013-11-19 10:41:09 AM
Never speak of it again. Let her live her life.
Also, you think you're going to teach you mom anything about sex, even safe sex? Think again, Jen.
 
2013-11-19 10:41:17 AM

NickelP: Join in?


And whatever you do, DO NOT BREAK EYE CONTACT!
 
2013-11-19 10:41:24 AM
Should I just pretend this never happened

Yes.
 
2013-11-19 10:41:30 AM
Is she hot?
 
2013-11-19 10:41:47 AM

Blushing Wall Flower: I bet names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.


Ok, Jen.
 
2013-11-19 10:42:08 AM
Oh, and call before you go over. Or text.
 
2013-11-19 10:42:11 AM
Try not to think about the mass of gyrating, wrinkly flesh that your mom is probably in right now.
 
2013-11-19 10:42:17 AM
Would you rather watch it every day for a year or join in once to get it to stop?
 
2013-11-19 10:42:24 AM
Shut your mouth, give your mom a little farking privacy, and call before you go over. Prude.
 
2013-11-19 10:42:46 AM

Blushing Wall Flower: I bet names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.


Sure thing, Jen.
 
2013-11-19 10:43:08 AM
This reminds me of a time I was standing in line in the bathroom and this guy finishes up and then reaches into the urinal, picks up the urinal cake, smells it, puts it back and then licked his fingers. That was really weird
 
2013-11-19 10:43:34 AM
std's are supposedly most common among senior citizens.  apparently they figure they can't get preggors and are old anyway so fark it.  Next time your mom seems itchy and irritable just remember this.
 
2013-11-19 10:43:34 AM
It is kinda weird hearing your mom yell 'daddy' while she's being railed by some dude...
 
2013-11-19 10:43:37 AM
Should I just pretend this never happened

Most definitely.
 
2013-11-19 10:44:14 AM
In all seriousness, who the fark just "pops by" without calling first? Who the fark does that?
 
2013-11-19 10:44:41 AM
My lip is bleeding because I picked it raw.

I really need to trim my nails.
 
2013-11-19 10:44:57 AM
Joking aside, here's my serious answer:
You should have immediately gone home and drank until you forgot this ever happened.
 
2013-11-19 10:45:06 AM

NickelP: Join in?


It's either that or watch for a year.
 
2013-11-19 10:45:19 AM

skybreaker: Blushing Wall Flower: I bet names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

Ok, Jen.


All I can think is that I miss mryoop789. :'(
 
2013-11-19 10:45:28 AM
Let her get her freak on! MYOB. You dropped by unannounced so it's your own damn fault.
 
2013-11-19 10:46:13 AM
If you "pop by" my house without calling, I'm answering the door butt naked, just out of principle.

"Hey dude, sorry I was just shaving my balls, I would have put on some pants if I had known you were coming by."
 
2013-11-19 10:46:18 AM

skybreaker: Blushing Wall Flower: I bet names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

Ok, Jen.


Bugerz: Blushing Wall Flower: I bet names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

Sure thing, Jen.


Hey you potato sacks of trouble, my name is spelled with TWO 'n's. Don't forget it.
 
2013-11-19 10:46:55 AM
Just casually leave a box of rubbers on the table next time, and, maybe, the card of a reproductive health clinic.  Senior facilities are RIFE with STIs because most of the people in them were out of practice for decades and then, thanks to the joint miracle of access to others and Viagra, suddenly they're back at it with no knowledge of what's changed in the landscape.

Also, finally, for the first time we can say it with impunity: subby,  your mother's a ... nah. That's just mean.
 
2013-11-19 10:47:28 AM
Now *THIS* is anon-dit worthy.

...  Well.  Moreso than some of the other tripe that's been showing up.

/at least the threads are funny
 
2013-11-19 10:47:29 AM
And what are you looking for? Us to tell you to make your mom stop having orgies? Because I can guess her reply to that request.
 
2013-11-19 10:47:44 AM
The only thing that would be right would be to make sure mom is aware of STDs.  Many older people who've been married since, oh, 1960 may not be too aware, though many are.

You know your mom, does she know about STDs?  If not, approach it from love and concern and not judgement.  Then drop it.

Everything else is none of your business.
 
2013-11-19 10:47:59 AM

imontheinternet: Try not to think about the mass of gyrating, wrinkly flesh that your mom is probably in right now.


farm6.staticflickr.com

I thought about it ... :(
 
2013-11-19 10:48:01 AM
How many yogasms is your mom having at these orgies?
 
2013-11-19 10:48:05 AM
Consider this pay back for the time she walked in on you stirring the mac n cheese to a Nelson music video when you were a kid.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2013-11-19 10:48:05 AM
Your mom is old.  Let her have sex.  I mean, she has a few years left, let her enjoy her life and the cocks of 70 year old men entering all her holes.
 
2013-11-19 10:48:08 AM

Blushing Wall Flower: Hey you potato sacks of trouble, my name is spelled with TWO 'n's. Don't forget it.


Ok, Jenn.
 
2013-11-19 10:48:22 AM
Seems like a "drink until blind" situation to me.
 
2013-11-19 10:48:29 AM

PolloDiablo: In all seriousness, who the fark just "pops by" without calling first? Who the fark does that?


Fo' real.  It's the 21st century.  It doesn't take 3 weeks to give somebody a heads up through the Pony Express anymore.  Invading somebody's space without a heads up is rude as all hell.

I hope walking in on your mom's gangbang taught you a lesson, rudemitter.
 
2013-11-19 10:48:36 AM
This redeems anonDIT, forever.
 
2013-11-19 10:48:47 AM
It's her life. Let her do whomever the hell she wants. STDs are a major problem in old folks homes though. Goddamn old people are sluts!
 
2013-11-19 10:48:49 AM
I hope she has acute angina.

Because her tits are wrinkly and saggy.
 
2013-11-19 10:49:00 AM
Just out of curiosity...Does your mom look more like this?

static.panoramio.com

Or this?

www.diabetesmine.com

I need to know for the sake of my own mental picture.
 
2013-11-19 10:49:14 AM
When your old, do you care if you get AIDS?
 
2013-11-19 10:49:22 AM

Earguy: The only thing that would be right would be to make sure mom is aware of STDs. Many older people who've been married since, oh, 1960 may not be too aware, though many are.


Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright...
 
2013-11-19 10:49:23 AM
If I were you I'd make jokes about it to her. Although, my relationship with my mother is not a normal one. For example, I had to take my mom to a crack house so she could get her car back. Also, half of the cops back home in Peoria knew me because of my mom. Do you have any idea how awkward it is to be out drinking and have a cop come ask you how crazy Betty is doing? Do you?!?
 
2013-11-19 10:49:39 AM
Now that you've told the entire internet about it, you will surely blab to a few close friends, and soon enough everyone will know. Good job, Jen.
 
2013-11-19 10:49:46 AM

NickelP: std's are supposedly most common among senior citizens.  apparently they figure they can't get preggors and are old anyway so fark it.  Next time your mom seems itchy and irritable just remember this.


Yeah, apparently Viagra and similar drugs have caused epidemics of STDs in senior living communities. Where they once had the desire but no ability, now the ability is there too. Without any need to worry about pregnancy, safe sex just isn't on their radar.

Subby, I get why you're uncomfortable, but you may just want to let your mother know that STDs are still a problem (even with younger people, now that HIV/AIDS is less feared some of the old standbys like the chlamydia and gonorrhea are making big comebacks), even with older folks.
 
2013-11-19 10:49:56 AM
You know that back in the day, the cure for the clap was to put your dick on an anvil and have someone give it a good, hard smack with a book or a small hammer?
 
2013-11-19 10:50:00 AM
Just the sound of strained grunts and gunts pumping to the rhythm of slapping bingo wings.
 
2013-11-19 10:50:01 AM
The good thing about having group sex when you're old is that if you get an STD it's like, "what's the worst it can do? Kill me?"
 
2013-11-19 10:51:05 AM

Incorrigible Astronaut: The good thing about having group sex when you're old is that if you get an STD it's like, "what's the worst it can do? Kill me?"


Exactly!
I'm gonna be the sluttiest old broad in my nursing home.
 
2013-11-19 10:51:17 AM

atlfarkette: Just out of curiosity...Does your mom look more like this?

[static.panoramio.com image 680x1024]

Or this?

[www.diabetesmine.com image 300x195]

I need to know for the sake of my own mental picture.


Your tastes are odd
 
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