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(WFTV Orlando)   Woman panics when she sees a seven foot alligator just hanging out in her yard, forgets that she lives in a state where these things are quite common   (wftv.com) divider line 71
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3440 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2013 at 11:01 AM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-19 09:12:01 AM
"We usually have other animals: raccoons, possums, of that nature, but never an alligator," said the homeowner.

An alligator? In Florida? The Hell you say??? At least it didn't ring her doorbell.

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-11-19 09:15:54 AM
Ought to take care of the raccoon and possum problem.
 
2013-11-19 09:17:59 AM
Criminals are fairly common in tha F-L-A, too, but yet I feel that she'd be justified in alarm at finding one hanging out on her porch.  Traffic accidents happen all the damn time; would she be unjustified in getting shaken up by one on her street?
 
2013-11-19 09:42:54 AM
And in Cocoa no less.

Ever see the property surrounding Kennedy Space Center?  They practically use the gators as natural security.  Damned things are all over the place.
 
2013-11-19 09:50:48 AM
Woman panics when she sees a seven foot alligator just hanging out in her yard, forgets that she lives in a state where these things are quite common

I thought women panicking was common in all states, not just Florida.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-11-19 10:55:31 AM

Sybarite: Ought to take care of the raccoon and possum problem.


I'd rather have alligators than possums.
 
2013-11-19 11:07:25 AM
Depending on what part of Florida, they're not that common in residential areas. I've never seen one outside Busch Gardens or Sawgrass Lake.
 
2013-11-19 11:08:11 AM
7 footer? Just a baby.
 
2013-11-19 11:10:56 AM

Mugato: Depending on what part of Florida, they're not that common in residential areas. I've never seen one outside Busch Gardens or Sawgrass Lake.


Brevard County. Fairly common here. Usually non-problematic, unless you have one of those yappy little dogs.

/you aren't on an alligator's menu....unless it's a female guarding her eggs.
 
2013-11-19 11:13:04 AM
Probably a fresh transplant. Hope somebody told her about the palmetto bugs and the spiders.
 
2013-11-19 11:16:12 AM

Mztlplx: 7 footer? Just a baby.


My thought as well.  She was clearly worried about mom being around somewhere unseen.
 
2013-11-19 11:20:26 AM

Diogenes: And in Cocoa no less.

Ever see the property surrounding Kennedy Space Center?  They practically use the gators as natural security.  Damned things are all over the place.


This happened when I was down there working a mission. If this had happened in my, building, I'd have SHIAT myself.

http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewsr.html?pid=24270
images.spaceref.com

images.spaceref.com
 
2013-11-19 11:21:45 AM

Mztlplx: Brevard County. Fairly common here


Yeah I suppose. A lot of lakes. And outside Miami too I guess. I worry more about snakes. I make Indiana Jones look like a...snake....ologist.
 
2013-11-19 11:22:35 AM
But it was Florida - why didn't she just shoot it?
 
2013-11-19 11:25:21 AM

Mugato: Depending on what part of Florida, they're not that common in residential areas. I've never seen one outside Busch Gardens or Sawgrass Lake.


Really? I've seen plenty around Sawgrass Lake.
 
2013-11-19 11:25:45 AM

dv-ous: But it was Florida - why didn't she just shoot it?


It wasn't wearing a hoodie.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-11-19 11:27:34 AM
put it in Rick Scott's lawn.
 
2013-11-19 11:27:42 AM
Mom's in her 70s. Gator come on the green when she was getting ready to put. It got a five iron repeatedly in the skull until it realized, don't fark with mom when she's golfing.
Because that means she's been drinking.
 
GBB
2013-11-19 11:28:09 AM
HA!  I got a call over the summer about a gator on the side of the road near the river.  I asked the lady all the common "animals on the road" questions and still couldn't come up with a valid reason for the call.  Finally, she says that it's dangerous for the gator to be so close to the river, because her son and his friends swim and play in that river all the time.  To which I replied, "You let your son swim in gator invested rivers?"  The silence was priceless.  "Ma'am, this is Florida.  That river is the gator's natural habitat.  I wouldn't suggest swimming in anything that isn't man made and enclosed regardless of what anyone else says or does."
 
2013-11-19 11:28:22 AM
Brevard County Animal Services said the gator will probably be relocated."Cleveland?
 
2013-11-19 11:28:45 AM

Mugato: Mztlplx: Brevard County. Fairly common here

Yeah I suppose. A lot of lakes. And outside Miami too I guess. I worry more about snakes. I make Indiana Jones look like a...snake....ologist.


Got our fair share of those, too. I found a six foot water moccasin in my back yard after a good storm last summer.

/also found out I can still climb a tree at age 50
 
2013-11-19 11:28:56 AM

ChipNASA: dv-ous: But it was Florida - why didn't she just shoot it?

It wasn't wearing a hoodie.


Golf clap
 
2013-11-19 11:29:45 AM

ChipNASA: Diogenes: And in Cocoa no less.

Ever see the property surrounding Kennedy Space Center?  They practically use the gators as natural security.  Damned things are all over the place.

This happened when I was down there working a mission. If this had happened in my, building, I'd have SHIAT myself.

http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewsr.html?pid=24270
[images.spaceref.com image 640x480]

[images.spaceref.com image 640x480]


Place is filthy with them.  We saw them in the parking lot the last time I was out there.  Tons of American Eagles, too, which was very cool.

And, you know, the space stuff ;-)
 
2013-11-19 11:30:03 AM

Tradskinzd: Mugato: Depending on what part of Florida, they're not that common in residential areas. I've never seen one outside Busch Gardens or Sawgrass Lake.

Really? I've seen plenty around Sawgrass Lake.


No I meant I haven't seen any except for Busch and Sawgrass.
 
2013-11-19 11:30:39 AM
Wait until she discovers palmetto bugs!

i268.photobucket.com

/hot like Florida in August.
 
2013-11-19 11:32:04 AM

Diogenes: ChipNASA: Diogenes: And in Cocoa no less.

Ever see the property surrounding Kennedy Space Center?  They practically use the gators as natural security.  Damned things are all over the place.

This happened when I was down there working a mission. If this had happened in my, building, I'd have SHIAT myself.

http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewsr.html?pid=24270
[images.spaceref.com image 640x480]

[images.spaceref.com image 640x480]

Place is filthy with them.  We saw them in the parking lot the last time I was out there.  Tons of American Eagles, too, which was very cool.

And, you know, the space stuff ;-)


The whole area surrounding KSC is a national wildlife preserve. The gators actually seem to like the low frequency rumble at launch.
 
2013-11-19 11:32:09 AM

Mztlplx: Got our fair share of those, too. I found a six foot water moccasin in my back yard after a good storm last summer.

/also found out I can still climb a tree at age 50


Holy shiat. I have no idea how I would handle that. Probably throw my girlfriend at it and run.
 
2013-11-19 11:36:51 AM

Mugato: Mztlplx: Got our fair share of those, too. I found a six foot water moccasin in my back yard after a good storm last summer.

/also found out I can still climb a tree at age 50

Holy shiat. I have no idea how I would handle that. Probably throw my girlfriend at it and run.


My daughter pinned it for Animal Control. We have a deal...she gets the snakes, and I get the spiders.
 
2013-11-19 11:37:30 AM
I read the link as wtftv.com.

\dissapointed
 
2013-11-19 11:39:26 AM
I visit Florida every year to see family. Gator sightings are pretty much an every day thing.

On particular time I was sleeping in the screened in porch on the hammock and heard a splash. I jumped up because I thought one of our little kids made their way into the pool. When I got to the pool it was a little 3-4 foot gator. I told my father in law and he said "he swims in there almost every morning. He'll leave. He did.

Florida.

/that's my cool story bro.
 
2013-11-19 11:49:37 AM
The first time I saw a gator outside of a zoo, it was in Florida. Some suburb of Sarasota. Bradenton area? Farked if I know.

We went over to this guy's house, he has a channel from the local bay or whatever that runs through the neighborhood, and everyone has docks and shiat for their...sea-doos?

Everyone's drunk as Drew Curtis, and there's a gator in the channel. An obese woman with a northern Midwest accent freaks out, says it will eat a kid or a dog or something. Owner of the property goes to the garage and gets a pistol, then walks up to the edge and shoots the thing in the head.

So this gator, all six feet of it or so, is laying there in the water, bleeding. A couple of young local guys get in the water and start futzing with it. IT IS NOT DEAD. They quickly learn that wrestling gators is apparently a bad idea, because they scamper up all scraped up.

I'm kinda high as a kite and drunk off my ass, so I think this is funny. Americana, if you will.

The gator got away, but I don't think algebra was in its future.
 
2013-11-19 11:50:19 AM
She's in Floriduh. She should stand her ground and shoot it with her chain gun.
 
2013-11-19 11:51:26 AM

Mztlplx: Mugato: Depending on what part of Florida, they're not that common in residential areas. I've never seen one outside Busch Gardens or Sawgrass Lake.

Brevard County. Fairly common here. Usually non-problematic, unless you have one of those yappy little dogs.

/you aren't on an alligator's menu....unless it's a female guarding her eggs.


The Gator should be on your menu, they're tasty.
 
2013-11-19 11:52:34 AM

Mztlplx: Diogenes: ChipNASA: Diogenes: And in Cocoa no less.

Ever see the property surrounding Kennedy Space Center?  They practically use the gators as natural security.  Damned things are all over the place.

This happened when I was down there working a mission. If this had happened in my, building, I'd have SHIAT myself.

http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewsr.html?pid=24270
[images.spaceref.com image 640x480]

[images.spaceref.com image 640x480]

Place is filthy with them.  We saw them in the parking lot the last time I was out there.  Tons of American Eagles, too, which was very cool.

And, you know, the space stuff ;-)

The whole area surrounding KSC is a national wildlife preserve. The gators actually seem to like the low frequency rumble at launch.


Reptilian marital aids.
 
2013-11-19 11:52:52 AM

Mztlplx: My daughter pinned it for Animal Control. We have a deal...she gets the snakes, and I get the spiders.


Holy shiat, your daughter has balls. Is she seeing anyone? Mongooses are too hard to find.

/mongees?
 
2013-11-19 11:54:05 AM

Facetious_Speciest: The first time I saw a gator outside of a zoo, it was in Florida.


You should check out Lake Jesup.  Densest gator population in the state.

I've gone to the surrounding park for the Scottish Highland Festival.  Even when it's freezing the place is covered with them.  Sunning to stay warm.  I wonder what it's like during breeding season.

I live in Shingle Creek - "the headwaters of the Everglades" - and get one in the yard about once a year.
 
2013-11-19 11:54:48 AM

buckler: Wait until she discovers palmetto bugs!

[i268.photobucket.com image 375x523]

/hot like Florida in August.


Palmetto bugs?  How's that different from a regular old roach?
 
2013-11-19 11:56:38 AM

Mztlplx: The whole area surrounding KSC is a national wildlife preserve. The gators actually seem to like the low frequency rumble at launch.


It reminds them of the asteroid that took out those pesky dinosaurs.
 
2013-11-19 11:57:32 AM
One of the greatest days in my early childhood was white water rafting down the Colorado river and the guide told my brothers and I that Alligators lived in the water while we were swimming. All three of us collectively stared and said: "SO!" Confused the heck out of him until our parents informed him we are from Florida and sharks, crocs and gators do not scare us.

Best high school day was watching the big tough "men" run / paddle away screaming like little girls from a little 5 foot gator that was following them while we were canoeing down a river in the Everglades.
 
2013-11-19 11:57:35 AM

cs30109: buckler: Wait until she discovers palmetto bugs!

[i268.photobucket.com image 375x523]

/hot like Florida in August.

Palmetto bugs?  How's that different from a regular old roach?


They FLY.

Just *try* to sleep tonight now.
 
2013-11-19 11:58:52 AM

Mztlplx: cs30109: buckler: Wait until she discovers palmetto bugs!

[i268.photobucket.com image 375x523]

/hot like Florida in August.

Palmetto bugs?  How's that different from a regular old roach?

They FLY.

Just *try* to sleep tonight now.


I had one fly into my temple one night while walking outside.  It felt like someone nailed me with a rock.
 
2013-11-19 12:00:04 PM

cs30109: buckler: Wait until she discovers palmetto bugs!

[i268.photobucket.com image 375x523]

/hot like Florida in August.

Palmetto bugs?  How's that different from a regular old roach?


They're about an inch and a half long, and they fly.
 
2013-11-19 12:00:27 PM

Mugato: Mztlplx: My daughter pinned it for Animal Control. We have a deal...she gets the snakes, and I get the spiders.

Holy shiat, your daughter has balls. Is she seeing anyone? Mongooses are too hard to find.

/mongees?


1) she's 16

2) her girlfriend will fight you for her
 
2013-11-19 12:01:42 PM
Subby needs to RTFA. No panic was mentioned.
 
2013-11-19 12:02:07 PM

Mztlplx: They FLY.

Just *try* to sleep tonight now.


I'm used to it, having lived in coastal SC for a decade now, but yeah they're a special kind of freaky for new folks.
 
2013-11-19 12:07:47 PM

Mztlplx: Mugato: Mztlplx: My daughter pinned it for Animal Control. We have a deal...she gets the snakes, and I get the spiders.

Holy shiat, your daughter has balls. Is she seeing anyone? Mongooses are too hard to find.

/mongees?

1) she's 16

2) her girlfriend will fight you for her


Fair enough. I'll go with the mongoose.
 
2013-11-19 12:10:27 PM

Diogenes: And in Cocoa no less.

Ever see the property surrounding Kennedy Space Center?  They practically use the gators as natural security.  Damned things are all over the place.


KSC is an actual animal preserve.  Security there used to spend half their time catching poachers.
 
2013-11-19 12:12:51 PM

buckler: cs30109: buckler: Wait until she discovers palmetto bugs!

[i268.photobucket.com image 375x523]

/hot like Florida in August.

Palmetto bugs?  How's that different from a regular old roach?

They're about an inch and a half long, and they fly.


Pretty much this, plus they put out a sickly sweet smell when you chase them.

Oh, and Go Rockledge Raiders
 
2013-11-19 12:14:49 PM

buckler: cs30109: buckler: Wait until she discovers palmetto bugs!

[i268.photobucket.com image 375x523]

/hot like Florida in August.

Palmetto bugs?  How's that different from a regular old roach?

They're about an inch and a half long, and they fly.


Where I'm from---Louisiana---that's normal for roaches.  Are roaches different elsewhere?
 
2013-11-19 12:15:22 PM
That wasn't a lawn ornament?
 
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