If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mother Jones)   Abstinence speakers paid to tell teens that vaginas are like "little Hoover vacuums", fail to anticipate teens seeing the upside of this   (motherjones.com) divider line 108
    More: Fail, Hoover, RH Reality Check, chemical abortion, RHS, Drug-Free Schools, National Center for Health Statistics, Disease Control, Code of Federal Regulations  
•       •       •

9201 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2013 at 7:22 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



108 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-11-19 12:00:18 AM
Only if they exercise the kegels.
 
2013-11-19 12:18:45 AM
Okay. You win, stupid people. I quit for today. If it's not comedy, I ain't readin' it.
 
2013-11-19 01:57:03 AM
Hoover vacuums that suck up your money?
 
2013-11-19 07:07:37 AM

The_Sponge: Hoover vacuums that suck up your money?


If only there was some other substance that had properties that allowed it to absorb and/or suck up things well
 
2013-11-19 07:17:52 AM
Dirt Devil
 
2013-11-19 07:23:32 AM
They are large and broken most of the time?
 
2013-11-19 07:24:02 AM
Oh please. Everyone knows the term used to describe barely legal teen vagina.

calsautorepairinc.com
 
Skr
2013-11-19 07:24:58 AM
Reminds me of a description I heard once about dolphin vaginas, back from dolphinsex.org.

/also a little fishy
 
2013-11-19 07:26:02 AM
I guess little Orecks doesn't have quite the same ring to it
 
2013-11-19 07:28:28 AM
I'm old school: Cum Dumpster.

/although Man-Muck receptacle has a nice ring to it.
 
2013-11-19 07:29:16 AM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-11-19 07:29:30 AM
Why not just tell kids that sex makes babies and babies are monsters?

/Oh right because Jebus
 
2013-11-19 07:30:54 AM

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: I'm old school: Cum Dumpster.

/although Man-Muck receptacle has a nice ring to it.


Baby custard catcher?
 
2013-11-19 07:33:36 AM
None of the speakers are sponge worthy!
 
2013-11-19 07:33:47 AM
Sex ed class should be three straight days of crying babies followed by another three days of changing diapers and early/late feedings
 
2013-11-19 07:37:10 AM
Nobody posted the picture of the first "expert" yet?

www.motherjones.com

The jokes just write themselves,
 
2013-11-19 07:40:39 AM

gerbilpox: Nobody posted the picture of the first "expert" yet?



The jokes just write themselves,


"I watch you sleeping... Forever and ever and ever..."

His face just screams that he promotes keeping sex inside the family.

He looks like what would happen if a human inpregnated a hedgehog.
 
2013-11-19 07:40:50 AM
i.ytimg.com
 
2013-11-19 07:42:25 AM
Is that what a receptive female feels like?
 
2013-11-19 07:43:27 AM

Duke_leto_Atredes: Sex ed class should be three straight days of crying babies followed by another three days of changing diapers and early/late feedings


And puking. Don't forget the puking.
 
2013-11-19 07:43:59 AM
Teen vaginas...like little vacuums...

Go on...
 
2013-11-19 07:44:25 AM
Talking to teens about abstinence is a lot like talking to teens about suicide.  You don't want them to do it, however, they aren't necessarily focused on the issue or are ignorant of the issue.  As soon as you bring them the knowledge of how to do it, or how it's a solution, or how it's something other teens have done, then more of them are going to do it than if you hadn't shown up in the first place.
 
2013-11-19 07:44:49 AM
Centipedes, in my vagina? And LEGO...and dustbunnies...and pennies...
 
2013-11-19 07:45:31 AM
Wheh, I was worried they might be

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-11-19 07:53:54 AM

DubtodaIll: Talking to teens about abstinence is a lot like talking to teens about suicide.  You don't want them to do it, however, they aren't necessarily focused on the issue or are ignorant of the issue.  As soon as you bring them the knowledge of how to do it, or how it's a solution, or how it's something other teens have done, then more of them are going to do it than if you hadn't shown up in the first place.


Having sex and killing yourself are like the same thing is that what you're saying?
 
2013-11-19 07:54:29 AM
So that's how all that sand gets in there!
 
2013-11-19 07:55:02 AM
There's no way Justin Lookadoo isn't gay.
www.lookadoo.com
 Definitely looks like somebody who thinks vaginas are icky.
 
2013-11-19 07:55:03 AM
If you don't see the contradiction between

    "Abstinence-only edumakashun and defund Planned Parenthood"

and

    "Them Welfare Queens keep pushing out babies at taxpayer expense"

then you might be a wingnut.
 
2013-11-19 07:55:05 AM
Seething gonad chilli munchers
 
2013-11-19 07:56:51 AM

ScaryBottles: DubtodaIll: Talking to teens about abstinence is a lot like talking to teens about suicide.  You don't want them to do it, however, they aren't necessarily focused on the issue or are ignorant of the issue.  As soon as you bring them the knowledge of how to do it, or how it's a solution, or how it's something other teens have done, then more of them are going to do it than if you hadn't shown up in the first place.

Having sex and killing yourself are like the same thing is that what you're saying?


No, I'm saying telling teens something is illicit is only going to make them want to do it more.  If you weren't to tell them about either at all you would see lower rates of participation.
 
2013-11-19 07:58:29 AM

DubtodaIll: ScaryBottles: DubtodaIll: Talking to teens about abstinence is a lot like talking to teens about suicide.  You don't want them to do it, however, they aren't necessarily focused on the issue or are ignorant of the issue.  As soon as you bring them the knowledge of how to do it, or how it's a solution, or how it's something other teens have done, then more of them are going to do it than if you hadn't shown up in the first place.

Having sex and killing yourself are like the same thing is that what you're saying?

No, I'm saying telling teens something is illicit is only going to make them want to do it more.  If you weren't to tell them about either at all you would see lower rates of participation.


And I assume you have a couple of peer reviewed studies backing that up right?
 
2013-11-19 07:58:40 AM

ScaryBottles: DubtodaIll: Talking to teens about abstinence is a lot like talking to teens about suicide.  You don't want them to do it, however, they aren't necessarily focused on the issue or are ignorant of the issue.  As soon as you bring them the knowledge of how to do it, or how it's a solution, or how it's something other teens have done, then more of them are going to do it than if you hadn't shown up in the first place.

Having sex and killing yourself are like the same thing is that what you're saying?


No. Not having sex and killing yourself are like the same thing.

Unless he wants teens to have sex... which would be like suicide. Except it's something other teens have done... so more teens will be abstinent if you don't talk about it to begin with.

Or something.
 
2013-11-19 08:01:12 AM
Think of the water saved from not washing all those tube socks every 7-9 hours!
 
2013-11-19 08:02:19 AM
img826.imageshack.us
Nice to see Marc McKinney still gets the old Chicken Lady costume out once in a while.
 
2013-11-19 08:02:52 AM
Gratuitous showing of balls, 5 yard penalty.
 
2013-11-19 08:05:10 AM

Mentalpatient87: Gratuitous showing of balls, 5 yard penalty.


InterceptioN!
 
2013-11-19 08:05:14 AM
While I do not buy into religion, they do have an interesting way of producing a lot of ideas that I wish were true.  Heaven, sounds nice, wish it were true, know it is not.  Healing through prayer, wish it were true.   Vaginas being like vacuums, really wish it were true.
 
2013-11-19 08:06:28 AM

ScaryBottles: DubtodaIll: ScaryBottles: DubtodaIll: Talking to teens about abstinence is a lot like talking to teens about suicide.  You don't want them to do it, however, they aren't necessarily focused on the issue or are ignorant of the issue.  As soon as you bring them the knowledge of how to do it, or how it's a solution, or how it's something other teens have done, then more of them are going to do it than if you hadn't shown up in the first place.

Having sex and killing yourself are like the same thing is that what you're saying?

No, I'm saying telling teens something is illicit is only going to make them want to do it more.  If you weren't to tell them about either at all you would see lower rates of participation.

And I assume you have a couple of peer reviewed studies backing that up right?


Kind of apples and oranges, but the DARE program had a huge backlash.  Of course, the premise of DARE was to tell kids to stand up to peer pressure about doing drugs.  Which boiled down to telling kids "Everyone else is already on drugs, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

The problem is: if everyone is on drugs then it doesn't matter if you are too.
 
2013-11-19 08:08:15 AM
 
2013-11-19 08:08:23 AM

Some Coke Drinking Guy: While I do not buy into religion, they do have an interesting way of producing a lot of ideas that I wish were true.  Heaven, sounds nice, wish it were true, know it is not.  Healing through prayer, wish it were true.   Vaginas being like vacuums, really wish it were true.


Wish harder and closer.
 
2013-11-19 08:09:59 AM
Just make sure he ties a board across his ass so he doesn't get sucked in.
 
2013-11-19 08:10:46 AM
These abstinence programs are abusive to young girls. They basically spend the entire time repeating old stereotypes about girls being full of emotion and about how girls who have sex have some underlying issue where as boys are just being boys.

It is worth noting that Elizabeth Smart has reported that she didn't run away from her kidnapper and rapist because she thought no one would love her anymore and she was garbage because she wasn't a virgin anymore.

When talking to a group of teenage girls there is a good chance at least some have been raped or molested and talking about lost virginity as though it ruins them is like raping them all over again.

The fact that adults would do this to children is unconscionable. It's like these people don't take like 10 seconds to think about how their words may affect others.
 
2013-11-19 08:11:58 AM

Some Coke Drinking Guy: While I do not buy into religion, they do have an interesting way of producing a lot of ideas that I wish were true.  Heaven, sounds nice, wish it were true, know it is not.  Healing through prayer, wish it were true.   Vaginas being like vacuums, really wish it were true.


2nd that, not the 1st or 2nd part, the 3rd part....
 
2013-11-19 08:12:34 AM

Some Coke Drinking Guy: While I do not buy into religion, they do have an interesting way of producing a lot of ideas that I wish were true.  Heaven, sounds nice, wish it were true, know it is not.  Healing through prayer, wish it were true.   Vaginas being like vacuums, really wish it were true.


Sounds like somebody needs to get busy inventing a robotic pussy that gives you a blowjob at the same time. Then guys can site back in the easy chair with sports on the big screen, a beer in hand and let the toy give their dicks a workout.
While you are at it, go ahead and make the 'boob job can cushy', so you can feel like you are holding and squeezing a nice fat boob instead of the beer can.
 
2013-11-19 08:13:34 AM

Cheese eating surrender monkey: [img826.imageshack.us image 621x430]
Nice to see Marc McKinney still gets the old Chicken Lady costume out once in a while.


Chicken Lady has a better chance of getting laid than any of these jokers.

/ Laid....get it?
// *Snickers*
/// I better get some coffee and actually turn my brain on.
 
2013-11-19 08:13:37 AM
ELKAY

It is worth noting that Elizabeth Smart has reported that she didn't run away from her kidnapper and rapist because she thought no one would love her anymore and she was garbage because she wasn't a virgin anymore.

I try to stay away from stories like that, because...geez. That's some farked up shiat. Ow.
 
2013-11-19 08:13:59 AM

ScaryBottles: DubtodaIll: ScaryBottles: DubtodaIll: Talking to teens about abstinence is a lot like talking to teens about suicide.  You don't want them to do it, however, they aren't necessarily focused on the issue or are ignorant of the issue.  As soon as you bring them the knowledge of how to do it, or how it's a solution, or how it's something other teens have done, then more of them are going to do it than if you hadn't shown up in the first place.

Having sex and killing yourself are like the same thing is that what you're saying?

No, I'm saying telling teens something is illicit is only going to make them want to do it more.  If you weren't to tell them about either at all you would see lower rates of participation.

And I assume you have a couple of peer reviewed studies backing that up right?


I don't have a peer reviewed study on hand but I did hear about it on Radiolab last week or something on NPR.  The study involved telling kids about how other teens had committed suicide due to bullying and then telling them that they shouldn't commit suicide if they get bullied.  However, that kind of program was proven to actually increase suicide rates as it was suggested that teens hadn't previously seen suicide as a solution to bullying.
It's the same kind of thing with abstinence programs.  You teach kids that they have an option between A or B where they previously hadn't necessarily contemplated having options yet so more of them begin to choose where they may not have begun to choose without the program.
 
2013-11-19 08:15:41 AM

Slives: Some Coke Drinking Guy: While I do not buy into religion, they do have an interesting way of producing a lot of ideas that I wish were true.  Heaven, sounds nice, wish it were true, know it is not.  Healing through prayer, wish it were true.   Vaginas being like vacuums, really wish it were true.

Sounds like somebody needs to get busy inventing a robotic pussy that gives you a blowjob at the same time. Then guys can site back in the easy chair with sports on the big screen, a beer in hand and let the toy give their dicks a workout.
While you are at it, go ahead and make the 'boob job can cushy', so you can feel like you are holding and squeezing a nice fat boob instead of the beer can.


Dude, that's called a great wife. It's been done.
 
2013-11-19 08:16:51 AM
Galgamec vagina.
 
2013-11-19 08:17:22 AM

DubtodaIll: ScaryBottles: DubtodaIll: ScaryBottles: DubtodaIll: Talking to teens about abstinence is a lot like talking to teens about suicide.  You don't want them to do it, however, they aren't necessarily focused on the issue or are ignorant of the issue.  As soon as you bring them the knowledge of how to do it, or how it's a solution, or how it's something other teens have done, then more of them are going to do it than if you hadn't shown up in the first place.

Having sex and killing yourself are like the same thing is that what you're saying?

No, I'm saying telling teens something is illicit is only going to make them want to do it more.  If you weren't to tell them about either at all you would see lower rates of participation.

And I assume you have a couple of peer reviewed studies backing that up right?

I don't have a peer reviewed study on hand but I did hear about it on Radiolab last week or something on NPR.  The study involved telling kids about how other teens had committed suicide due to bullying and then telling them that they shouldn't commit suicide if they get bullied.  However, that kind of program was proven to actually increase suicide rates as it was suggested that teens hadn't previously seen suicide as a solution to bullying.
It's the same kind of thing with abstinence programs.  You teach kids that they have an option between A or B where they previously hadn't necessarily contemplated having options yet so more of them begin to choose where they may not have begun to choose without the program.


Good point. Without sex ed, teens probably just won't find out about sex. Makes sense to me.
 
Displayed 50 of 108 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report