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A quick word about the Headline of the Year preliminaries about to begin, and a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/10 - 11/16 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-11-18 3:02:53 PM (48 comments) | Permalink

•       •       •

1926 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Nov 2013 at 4:08 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



I don't know if you woke up feeling excited today, but I did. That's because we're gearing up for the Headline of the Year contests. I just grabbed all the top headlines from December 2012 through October 2013, and I'm starting the process of formatting them all. And just glancing through them as I start to tweak formatting, it's neat to see some of the candidates that are in the mix for this year's contest:


Woman crashes at a doughnut shop one day, then into an eye care center the next. Police: was that crash better, or worse? Better? Or worse?

Homeless man falls to death in an elevator shaft. That is wrong on so many levels

Pianist caught in snow blower. Men everywhere flinch instinctively

-City council to get tough on heavy water users. We're looking at YOU, Robert Oppenheimer


The first voting thread will likely be tomorrow morning in Totalfark; if you don't have Totalfark, you'll have to wait until they finish voting and then you can participate in the quarterfinals when those get posted in December. Every year there are a lot of fantastic headlines that miss the quarterfinals cut by a few votes. If you want a chance to change the course of the contest, this is your chance.

For everyone else, these are the top headlines from last week. Enjoy.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-11-10 to Sat 2013-11-16:

img.fark.net  Three shot inside Romulus home, and concerned citizens question why the Tal Shiar has made no arrests in the crime  

img.fark.net  Unlike The Dallas Cowboys, The Postal Service will now deliver on Sundays  

img.fark.net  Hawaii same-sex marriage legalization passes. Hey everybody, we're all gonna get lei'd  

img.fark.net  Putting the 'car' in daycare  

img.fark.net  Newly declassified ▓▓▓▓▓▓ reveal ▓▓▓▓▓▓ about past ▓▓▓ of the mysterious ▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓ as Area 51  

img.fark.net  University student staples his testicles after losing bet. THAT WAS EASY  

img.fark.net  ♫ Oh Johnny was a doctor, a doctor he is no more...for what he thought was HC2H3O2 was H2S04 ♫  

img.fark.net  Just so sick kids won't miss out on what's going on in school, shots fired in Wisconsin children's hospital  

img.fark.net  US looks into cybersecurity attacks on the Obamacare website. So far, no one has managed to cripple the site as effectively as the people who designed it  

img.fark.net  Due to organizational mistake, Al Qaeda militants accidentally behead the wrong person. Heads will roll for this  

img.fark.net  Princess Anne suggests it's enjoyable to eat horse. Her brother approves  


Sports:

img.fark.net  Braves fans will have to stay home from a different stadium during the playoffs starting in 2017  

img.fark.net  NBA sends anti-bullying memo to all teams, saying that it will not be tolerated. 29 teams immediately stop scheduling any games against the Utah Jazz  

img.fark.net  Three-time Indy 500 winner Dario Franchitti forced to retire due to injuries. Well, at least he has Ashley Judd to return home to... oh, wait  


Geek:

img.fark.net  MOM requires extra thrusting after premature ending  

img.fark.net  Sea snails change sex to improve their chances of survival, because in times of crisis, she sea snails be he sea snails  

img.fark.net  Quantum memory is kept stable for a record 39 minutes. Take THAT, stargates  


Entertainment:

img.fark.net  Kate Mulgrew is writing a new memoir, though there is some concern deliveries of the book will get rerouted for seven years before hitting shelves  

img.fark.net  Claire Danes wishes she could be her character on Homeland, she then suddenly broke down into quivering chin weeping and started getting it on with Charlie Rose  

img.fark.net  FCC eases rules on foreign ownership of TV stations. Viewers brace for 40 more channels showing the latest episode of "Sabado Gigante"  


Politics:

img.fark.net  "The rise of the New New Left" So....the back?  

img.fark.net  "Liberal attack machine shreds 60 Minutes Benghazi story." I'm trying to picture a "liberal attack machine." In my mind, it looks something like a Roomba with a cat sitting on top  

img.fark.net  Never before has "head_deck tag with dummy text. head_deck tag with dummy text" been so relevant to an article  


Business:

img.fark.net  Snapchat would have accepted Facebook's $3 billion offer but they could only see it for three seconds  

img.fark.net  Company invents the world's first vegan condom, calls it the most effective form of preventing a woman from getting pregnant other than just being a vegan  

img.fark.net  Cost of preparing Thanksgiving Dinner will be less expensive to make this year as prices of white bread, bologna, baked beans all decline  


· · ·
(view entire blog)


48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2013-11-18 03:20:44 PM
No video?  Awww, man!
 
2013-11-18 03:25:41 PM
woohoo! Homeland and "back back left" headlines!

/are we not including the pre-election headlines that barely made the deadline last year?
//I had a bunch of good ones then
 
2013-11-18 03:26:18 PM

somedude210: woohoo! Homeland and "back back left" headlines!

/are we not including the pre-election headlines that barely made the deadline last year?
//I had a bunch of good ones then


Missed, not made
 
2013-11-18 03:28:23 PM

somedude210: somedude210: woohoo! Homeland and "back back left" headlines!

/are we not including the pre-election headlines that barely made the deadline last year?
//I had a bunch of good ones then

Missed, not made


img.fark.net
 
2013-11-18 03:30:23 PM

somedude210: somedude210: woohoo! Homeland and "back back left" headlines!

/are we not including the pre-election headlines that barely made the deadline last year?
//I had a bunch of good ones then

Missed, not made


This year's contest will be for all headlines from Dec 2012 through Nov 2013. If you had post-election headlines in November 2012, they would have been covered in last year's contests.
 
2013-11-18 03:31:57 PM
IMO, doing it in November is a bit premature.

It would be better to do it in January after the year is out.

Just my opinion
 
2013-11-18 03:33:19 PM
I think I actually have a candidate this year

/A Fark career first!
 
2013-11-18 03:35:18 PM

Unfreakable: somedude210: somedude210: woohoo! Homeland and "back back left" headlines!

/are we not including the pre-election headlines that barely made the deadline last year?
//I had a bunch of good ones then

Missed, not made

This year's contest will be for all headlines from Dec 2012 through Nov 2013. If you had post-election headlines in November 2012, they would have been covered in last year's contests.


While I am disappointed (marginally) that my personal best can't make the cut (video), I am more than thrilled that you do this every week/year.  THIS is how you keep the TFers hitting the button like a lab rat.

Good jorb, Unfreakable.
 
2013-11-18 03:35:54 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think I actually have a candidate this year

/A Fark career first!


As in such as?
 
2013-11-18 03:51:05 PM

doyner: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think I actually have a candidate this year

/A Fark career first!

As in such as?


I don't even remember

/I just remember being surprised at seeing one of mine on the HOTW list
 
2013-11-18 03:53:59 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: doyner: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think I actually have a candidate this year

/A Fark career first!

As in such as?

I don't even remember

/I just remember being surprised at seeing one of mine on the HOTW list


You must lead a fuller life than me then.
 
2013-11-18 03:58:55 PM

doyner: MaudlinMutantMollusk: doyner: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think I actually have a candidate this year

/A Fark career first!

As in such as?

I don't even remember

/I just remember being surprised at seeing one of mine on the HOTW list

You must lead a fuller life than me then.


Meh... I'm sure it's not HOTY material

/but I'm easily amused
 
2013-11-18 04:07:49 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Meh... I'm sure it's not HOTY material

/but I'm easily amused


If it's the Yosemite one, I think it made it, but it's a context headline, so it might not have necessarily shown up on these lists.
 
2013-11-18 04:15:44 PM

Unfreakable: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Meh... I'm sure it's not HOTY material

/but I'm easily amused

If it's the Yosemite one, I think it made it, but it's a context headline, so it might not have necessarily shown up on these lists.


Heh... I'm thrilled just to get a green, much less a HOTW

/gotta start somewhere
 
2013-11-18 04:17:25 PM
I think I may have like 50 HOTY candidates this year? I also think it's my first year getting any in the HOTY contest....maybe one made it to finals in the "puns and wordplay" category last year
 
2013-11-18 04:20:26 PM
somedude210: I think I may have like 50 HOTY candidates this year? I also think it's my first year getting any in the HOTY contest....maybe one made it to finals in the "puns and wordplay" category last year

40below still isn't going to have sex with you.
 
2013-11-18 04:20:54 PM
I submitted this with a better headline.
 
2013-11-18 04:21:36 PM
I've got a couple. Let's get it on! A couple of years ago, I made it to the quarter-finals. I was very proud.
 
2013-11-18 04:22:01 PM
I don't know if you woke up feeling excited today,

I did. But that's just because my penis is named "Excited"
 
2013-11-18 04:24:57 PM

doyner: While I am disappointed (marginally) that my personal best can't make the cut (video), I am more than thrilled that you do this every week/year.  THIS is how you keep the TFers hitting the button like a lab rat.

Good jorb, Unfreakable.


Thanks, man.

Sin_City_Superhero: I did. But that's just because my penis is named "Excited"


I literally re-worded my post three times to minimize all the possible euphemistic expressions that could have been found :-)
 
2013-11-18 04:24:58 PM

HawgWild: I've got a couple. Let's get it on! A couple of years ago, I made it to the quarter-finals. I was very proud.


oddculture.com

Seriously, that's cool.  I have a couple that may make the cut to the first round, but there's some seriously stellar competition this year.
 
2013-11-18 04:27:44 PM

Unfreakable: Thanks, man.


YW.

Now seriously. No video tab?
 
2013-11-18 04:30:25 PM

doyner: Seriously, that's cool. I have a couple that may make the cut to the first round, but there's some seriously stellar competition this year.


Exactly. I'm always surprised to make HOTW, because my headlines are more silly and stupid than anything else. I don't really think about them. I just ... do stuff.
 
2013-11-18 04:32:04 PM

doyner: Unfreakable: Thanks, man.

YW.

Now seriously. No video tab?


The truth is, we get very few great Headline of the Year candidates from that tab. Go take a look, you'll see what I mean.
 
2013-11-18 04:33:30 PM

Unfreakable: doyner: Unfreakable: Thanks, man.

YW.

Now seriously. No video tab?

The truth is, we get very few great Headline of the Year candidates from that tab. Go take a look, you'll see what I mean.


All the more reason I'm so damned shameless about it.  ;)
 
2013-11-18 04:34:59 PM

HawgWild: doyner: Seriously, that's cool. I have a couple that may make the cut to the first round, but there's some seriously stellar competition this year.

Exactly. I'm always surprised to make HOTW, because my headlines are more silly and stupid than anything else. I don't really think about them. I just ... do stuff.


Honestly, my TOP vote getter of my Fark "career" was one I wasn't really all that proud of, but I do think it was good. My personal fav was from this last weekend.

What's your best?
 
2013-11-18 04:36:36 PM

doyner: All the more reason I'm so damned shameless about it.  ;)


Not to give you any ideas, but if you have a headline that you're particularly proud of, and maybe the video is for something geeky, submit it to the Geek tab. Then it'll be in consideration.
 
2013-11-18 04:39:03 PM

Unfreakable: doyner: All the more reason I'm so damned shameless about it.  ;)

Not to give you any ideas, but if you have a headline that you're particularly proud of, and maybe the video is for something geeky, submit it to the Geek tab. Then it'll be in consideration.


Shoulda woulda coulda...  I'll remember that.

And it wasn't all that geeky...just 7 feet of face-painted sublime magnificence.
 
2013-11-18 04:39:09 PM
woot! i have 2 this round. (hawaii marriage ; princess anne and horseys)
 
2013-11-18 04:41:27 PM

Tax Boy: woot! i have 2 this round. (hawaii marriage ; princess anne and horseys)


Well done!
 
2013-11-18 04:45:28 PM

doyner: 40below still isn't going to have sex with you.


dude, I don't care. I broke 1500 headlines in a year. I'm happy with that
 
2013-11-18 04:56:21 PM

Tax Boy: woot! i have 2 this round. (hawaii marriage ; princess anne and horseys)


loved the Hawaii one.
 
2013-11-18 05:36:30 PM

cman: IMO, doing it in November is a bit premature.

It would be better to do it in January after the year is out.

Just my opinion


You have a problem with premature evaluation?
 
2013-11-18 05:41:38 PM

HawgWild: doyner: Seriously, that's cool. I have a couple that may make the cut to the first round, but there's some seriously stellar competition this year.

Exactly. I'm always surprised to make HOTW, because my headlines are more silly and stupid than anything else. I don't really think about them. I just ... do stuff.


I'm always surprised, since the ones that I think are hilarious never go anywhere, and the ones that I think aren't all that great (she sea snails be he sea snails) get voted up.  It could be that I'm just not very funny, at least intentionally.
 
2013-11-18 06:06:41 PM

Unfreakable: doyner: All the more reason I'm so damned shameless about it.  ;)

Not to give you any ideas, but if you have a headline that you're particularly proud of, and maybe the video is for something geeky, submit it to the Geek tab. Then it'll be in consideration.


That doesn't always work as the times I've submitted (and got green) headlines for videos to categories other than the Video tab, they've been moved to the Video tab before being pushed to the public.
 
2013-11-18 06:52:42 PM

doyner: HawgWild: doyner: Seriously, that's cool. I have a couple that may make the cut to the first round, but there's some seriously stellar competition this year.

Exactly. I'm always surprised to make HOTW, because my headlines are more silly and stupid than anything else. I don't really think about them. I just ... do stuff.

Honestly, my TOP vote getter of my Fark "career" was one I wasn't really all that proud of, but I do think it was good. My personal fav was from this last weekend.

What's your best?


That's tough. I got some absolutely silly crap greened during the SOPA/PIPA day. One of them was a TFD link: If SOPA was from Star Wars and PIPA was from Star Trek, and the two somehow had a battle in space, would you still be a virgin?

But my best was my HOTY candidate.

Guy at Harry Potter Movie: "Engorgio. Spankus monkius." Police: "ARRESTO"
 
2013-11-18 06:56:39 PM

HawgWild: That's tough. I got some absolutely silly crap greened during the SOPA/PIPA day. One of them was a TFD link: If SOPA was from Star Wars and PIPA was from Star Trek, and the two somehow had a battle in space, would you still be a virgin?


I think that one is funnier^
 
2013-11-18 07:36:59 PM

spidermann: That doesn't always work as the times I've submitted (and got green) headlines for videos to categories other than the Video tab, they've been moved to the Video tab before being pushed to the public.


That happens sometimes (99% of the time it's something being submitted to Main that belongs on a subtab), but whenever a thread has a really great headline I try to cross-post it to a tab to get it more exposure.
 
2013-11-18 07:39:20 PM

Unfreakable: spidermann: That doesn't always work as the times I've submitted (and got green) headlines for videos to categories other than the Video tab, they've been moved to the Video tab before being pushed to the public.

That happens sometimes (99% of the time it's something being submitted to Main that belongs on a subtab), but whenever a thread has a really great headline I try to cross-post it to a tab to get it more exposure.


Do you have a vote threshold for making the list?
 
2013-11-18 07:54:12 PM

doyner: Unfreakable: spidermann: That doesn't always work as the times I've submitted (and got green) headlines for videos to categories other than the Video tab, they've been moved to the Video tab before being pushed to the public.

That happens sometimes (99% of the time it's something being submitted to Main that belongs on a subtab), but whenever a thread has a really great headline I try to cross-post it to a tab to get it more exposure.

Do you have a vote threshold for making the list?


No. I've said before in the past that there are some great headlines that have been submitted that didn't get a single upvote at the time, but were still strong enough to make an appearance later. There are also some headlines that get a ton of upvotes that are good, but not necessarily headline of the year material. For instance, a Monty Python reference can be funny, but Headline of the Year? For a joke we've made hundreds, maybe thousands of times? Not sure I agree that an Airplane reference (or a Monty Python reference, or some other pop culture reference) alone is worth a Headline of the Year nod. But ultimately, I don't make that decision. It comes down to what you guys vote for. You guys put the crown on it, I'm just the announcer.
 
2013-11-18 07:59:23 PM

Unfreakable: spidermann: That doesn't always work as the times I've submitted (and got green) headlines for videos to categories other than the Video tab, they've been moved to the Video tab before being pushed to the public.

That happens sometimes (99% of the time it's something being submitted to Main that belongs on a subtab), but whenever a thread has a really great headline I try to cross-post it to a tab to get it more exposure.


Oh, I use the "Main instead of sub" all the time when I'm not sure where a headline would really be served best, or if there is enough of so many sub tabs within the article that it could go anywhere. Figure let the people who know where things belong better than I do put it where it'll do its best.

Video seems to be a different matter though. It appears (and this is all from memory, not hard data, creating perception) that any video (I've) submitted is moved to the Video tab regardless of headline, content, etc.

Not complaining or biatching or whining or anything like that just stating that what I've seen is different, which doesn't mean that my experience is everybody's experience. :)
 
2013-11-18 08:01:14 PM
One other thing--the key ends up being accessibility. The broader the spectrum of people that get the joke, the better it will do. I've seen some genius headlines fall out of contention while more obvious jokes went on. Unfortunately, that's unavoidable.

If there's a reference to something in Rome, and a submitter adds "EPIC" to it, I would catch the reference to the Jim Rome show, but people who aren't as well versed in sports radio wouldn't get it and wouldn't vote for it. Same thing with references to Shakespeare, or Dragonball Z, or NYC politics, or nearly any cultural touchstone you can imagine. If I'm well versed in astronomy, a really great but subtle joke will be brilliant when I read it, but I might completely miss a joke in the very next headline referencing Neil Gaiman. I've greenlit headlines where I didn't understand the reference, but clearly several people in the thread got it and liked it. That's good enough for me.
 
2013-11-18 08:04:31 PM

spidermann: Oh, I use the "Main instead of sub" all the time when I'm not sure where a headline would really be served best, or if there is enough of so many sub tabs within the article that it could go anywhere. Figure let the people who know where things belong better than I do put it where it'll do its best.

Video seems to be a different matter though. It appears (and this is all from memory, not hard data, creating perception) that any video (I've) submitted is moved to the Video tab regardless of headline, content, etc.

Not complaining or biatching or whining or anything like that just stating that what I've seen is different, which doesn't mean that my experience is everybody's experience. :)


Yeah, I've moved stuff myself. About 99% of the time it's from people who submit politics headlines to the Main page, but video falls into that category. I can't undo 2013, but I'll tell you what--if a headline is really good and can stand on its own pretty well, I'll do what I can to get the really good headlines into Headline of the Week. It might be a longshot (only 26 get chosen every week, out of over 1000 greenlights), but I'll do what I can. Might not be moved the day it goes green, but before Saturday night I'll give the Video tab a look and see if there are any worthy headlines that deserve a shot.
 
2013-11-18 08:18:31 PM

Unfreakable: Yeah, I've moved stuff myself. About 99% of the time it's from people who submit politics headlines to the Main page, but video falls into that category. I can't undo 2013, but I'll tell you what--if a headline is really good and can stand on its own pretty well, I'll do what I can to get the really good headlines into Headline of the Week. It might be a longshot (only 26 get chosen every week, out of over 1000 greenlights), but I'll do what I can. Might not be moved the day it goes green, but before Saturday night I'll give the Video tab a look and see if there are any worthy headlines that deserve a shot.


That works. :)

Video has been kind of redheaded stepchild for HOTW since inception and there can be some awesome Video headlines. Not nearly as much as other tabs, but sometimes gold shines through. :)
 
2013-11-19 10:33:54 AM
Is there a specific place to submit a headline for consideration that may have been overlooked?  I would humbly submit one of mine from January.  Low comment count because it was redlit for two days before being greenlit, even with 30+ link votes.   I'm still a bit bitter.  Anyway, here it is:

Yoko Ono goes on tour of Pennsylvania fracking sites. Because if there's one thing Yoko Ono knows about, it's using pressure to break up rock groups
 
2013-11-19 01:02:31 PM

Unfreakable: Yeah, I've moved stuff myself. About 99% of the time it's from people who submit politics headlines to the Main page, but video falls into that category. I can't undo 2013, but I'll tell you what--if a headline is really good and can stand on its own pretty well, I'll do what I can to get the really good headlines into Headline of the Week. It might be a longshot (only 26 get chosen every week, out of over 1000 greenlights), but I'll do what I can. Might not be moved the day it goes green, but before Saturday night I'll give the Video tab a look and see if there are any worthy headlines that deserve a shot.


That sounds fair.  No love for driving clown cars in our dreams?
 
2013-11-19 01:03:07 PM

shroom: Is there a specific place to submit a headline for consideration that may have been overlooked?  I would humbly submit one of mine from January.  Low comment count because it was redlit for two days before being greenlit, even with 30+ link votes.   I'm still a bit bitter.  Anyway, here it is:

Yoko Ono goes on tour of Pennsylvania fracking sites. Because if there's one thing Yoko Ono knows about, it's using pressure to break up rock groups


I think I remember upvoting that one.
 
2013-11-19 02:59:19 PM

shroom: Is there a specific place to submit a headline for consideration that may have been overlooked?  I would humbly submit one of mine from January.  Low comment count because it was redlit for two days before being greenlit, even with 30+ link votes.   I'm still a bit bitter.  Anyway, here it is:

Yoko Ono goes on tour of Pennsylvania fracking sites. Because if there's one thing Yoko Ono knows about, it's using pressure to break up rock groups



A month later, this one was even better:

"Scientists believe dead stars could support life. "No shiat," says Yoko Ono"

http://www.fark.com/comments/7616259/Scientists-believe-dead-stars-c ou ld-support-life-No-shiat-says-Yoko-Ono
 
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