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(Tampa Bay Online)   Florida: "Please leave the python hunting to the experts"   (tbo.com) divider line 49
    More: Florida, Wildlife Conservation Commission, Nature Conservancy, Carli Segelson, native wildlife, wildlife management, Everglades National Park  
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5916 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Nov 2013 at 3:53 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-18 02:23:46 PM
Well then Goddamned hunt them, experts. Those things are farking up the ecology. And every time I drive down Alligator Alley I know I'm going to break down and turn into a farking Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie.
 
2013-11-18 02:58:24 PM

1.bp.blogspot.com


What a python expert may look like

 
2013-11-18 02:58:36 PM
Amateurs make tight boots that can lead to stinkfoot.
 
2013-11-18 03:55:10 PM
I'm better at perl anyway...
 
2013-11-18 03:55:31 PM
How about a bounty? Works well on coyotes, wolves and other critters we do not want.
 
2013-11-18 03:55:58 PM
I've got a python........IN MY PANTS!!

/can't believe no one has made a penis joke and I had to go and do it.
 
2013-11-18 03:56:49 PM
They are cancelling Whacking day?
 
2013-11-18 03:58:08 PM

bojon: How about a bounty? Works well on coyotes, wolves and other critters we do not want.


It works well until somebody decides to start breeding the critters and releasing them so that they can keep collecting that bounty.
 
2013-11-18 03:59:28 PM
"Please leave the python hunting to the experts..."

...like subby's mom.
 
2013-11-18 03:59:35 PM
It wasn't going to do any good whatsoever anyway.  Anyone who thinks it would 1) hasn't been to the everglades, 2) has never tried to find snakes, 3) has no concept of how dense yet cryptic snake populations can be.
 
2013-11-18 03:59:46 PM
Sluts, Subby. The word you're thinking of is sluts.
 
2013-11-18 04:00:35 PM

Mugato: Well then Goddamned hunt them, experts. Those things are farking up the ecology. And every time I drive down Alligator Alley I know I'm going to break down and turn into a farking Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie.


Got a flat on alligator alley.

Not Cool Story Bro
 
2013-11-18 04:00:40 PM

Ivo Shandor: bojon: How about a bounty? Works well on coyotes, wolves and other critters we do not want.

It works well until somebody decides to start breeding the critters and releasing them so that they can keep collecting that bounty.


files.coloribus.com
 
2013-11-18 04:02:03 PM
Meh, I'd rather hunt furry things anyway.  They aren't protected in any way, I imagine that this just means they aren't going to spend any cash promoting the activity.
 
2013-11-18 04:02:07 PM

bojon: How about a bounty? Works well on coyotes, wolves and other critters we do not want.


Convince the rich (and people that want to imitate the rich) that eating python is a status symbol.
 
2013-11-18 04:02:30 PM
It's kinda funny how Hulk Hogan would always brag about his 20" "pythons", but a 20" python is actually very small.
 
2013-11-18 04:04:49 PM

LordJiro: bojon: How about a bounty? Works well on coyotes, wolves and other critters we do not want.

Convince the rich (and people that want to imitate the rich) that eating python is a status symbol.


Is that why 3-series BMWs are so damn scarce?
 
2013-11-18 04:05:10 PM
simpsonswiki.com
 
2013-11-18 04:07:28 PM
cdn2-b.examiner.com

What a python expert might look like.
 
2013-11-18 04:08:04 PM
Soooo, no Great Python Hunt this year? Last year's hunt was a little disappointing. 70 something actual pythons and a bunch of other snakes that weren't pythons; if memory serves.

/ It's almost as though a vertically challenged, naturally camouflaged ambush predator is hard to find.
 
2013-11-18 04:09:40 PM

ChipNASA: I've got a python........IN MY PANTS!!

/can't believe no one has made a penis joke and I had to go and do it.


Clearly you missed 5 posts above you with the Wiener joke.
 
2013-11-18 04:14:09 PM
Back to feral hogs, I guess.
 
2013-11-18 04:15:17 PM

iheartscotch: / It's almost as though a vertically challenged, naturally camouflaged ambush predator is hard to find.


The worst part about the pythons is that because they're apex predators, and because of all the coal-fired powerplants around the Everglades, the meat is absolutely chock full of mercury.
 
2013-11-18 04:26:15 PM
What expert Python hunters might look like:

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-11-18 04:26:52 PM

dabbletech: [cdn2-b.examiner.com image 300x300]

What a python expert might look like.


Jesus Christ he looks like Butthead with a bigger, crookeder nose. Who is that middle-aged douchebag?
 
2013-11-18 04:27:11 PM
I was reading a story yesterday about how fire ants might be one of the things keeping the pythons from spreading too fast. The female python coils around her eggs for months at a time, and won't leave them. Fire ants come in and start eating the eggs and the python. Mother snake won't flee because she is "protecting" the eggs.

Invasives battling each other! Yay!
 
2013-11-18 04:27:54 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-18 04:28:33 PM
goddamn rednecks and their "pets"
 
2013-11-18 04:29:37 PM
came for [simpsons_whacking day.jpg]

leaving satisfied.
 
2013-11-18 04:33:06 PM
No, don't stop, you're denying us many, many awesome uses of the Florida Tag.
 
2013-11-18 04:38:18 PM
blogs.poz.com

Does that include 24 inch pythons, too?
 
2013-11-18 04:44:34 PM

LordJiro: bojon: How about a bounty? Works well on coyotes, wolves and other critters we do not want.

Convince the rich (and people that want to imitate the rich) that eating python is a status symbol.


Tell the elderly Chinese males that python pills give you five hour erections and get your balls back in working order.

Problem solved.
 
2013-11-18 05:00:58 PM
Do NOT GIS for 'giant snakes eating people'...disturbing...very disturbing.
 
2013-11-18 05:12:51 PM
Actually, the article didn't say leave the hunting to the experts.  It said they wanted to focus on training people who work out in the swamps to detect and kill the things better.  I've lived in Florida long enough to know no one would bat an eye if Joe Smo stumbled upon one and killed it.  They just think that the resources to teach people to find and eradicate these animals is better spent on those most likely to have success, then just anybody.
 
2013-11-18 05:17:05 PM
Hopefully, no one will discover a commercial value to the critters, like they did with the gators.
Once they found out how to make money from the toothy eating machines, the endangered population grew to a major over-population, with gator farms harvesting and raising eggs, then returning X number of juveniles back to the wilds.

So, now we have gators in every mud puddle, swimming pool and lake, slithering through the canals, showing up at people's doors and wolfing down any unwary pets. We've also lost some folks and had more maimed.

If they find a commercial value in the big snakes, someone will bribe a senator to push through a snake farm, claiming there's money to be made in the meat and hides, and the population will explode, meaning even more will escape out into the glades, turning it into even more of a hellhole than it is.

They need to start fining anyone caught keeping a snake as a pet, with the exception of the harmless ones. Dipsh$ts own the little constrictors, which grow into huge constrictors and 'loose' them, ignoring the fact that they're just as deadly as a water moccasin and, like a gator, they don't kill easily either. Basically, they suffocate their prey.

Importers need to start facing some major jail time instead of some feeble fine.

You want a snake? Get a Garter snake or a nice Green Snake. A couple of Black Snakes around outside of your house is supposed to be good luck and keeps the rats and mice population down. (I've had Black Snakes in my yard for decades.) Glass Snakes and Green Snakes in your garden helps keep the pests like squirrels and birds away from your crops. They also eat insects. There's also the Clown Snake, the Ribbon Snake and the colorful King Snake.
 
2013-11-18 05:17:48 PM
So...anyone out there ever kill one while hunting? Are they fast? Can they sneak up on you?
 
2013-11-18 05:24:51 PM
Dang, I was thinking about going down and hunting them.  I have a lot of experience in the Everglades so I'd (probably) not make the news doing it and I want those damned things gone from my beloved marsh.

I reckon I'll just have to ride down in the spring and satisfy myself with a paddle at Lox National Wildlife Refuge.

/I just read an article that says the Anacondas are worse than the pythons.  Something about live birth instead of eggs.
 
2013-11-18 05:35:16 PM

theorellior: iheartscotch: / It's almost as though a vertically challenged, naturally camouflaged ambush predator is hard to find.

The worst part about the pythons is that because they're apex predators, and because of all the coal-fired powerplants around the Everglades, the meat is absolutely chock full of mercury.


perfect. as long as we don't eat the rich
 
2013-11-18 05:37:06 PM

TrollingForColumbine: theorellior: iheartscotch: / It's almost as though a vertically challenged, naturally camouflaged ambush predator is hard to find.

The worst part about the pythons is that because they're apex predators, and because of all the coal-fired powerplants around the Everglades, the meat is absolutely chock full of mercury.



LordJiro: bojon: How about a bounty? Works well on coyotes, wolves and other critters we do not want.

Convince the rich (and people that want to imitate the rich) that eating python is a status symbol.

perfect. as long as we don't eat the rich


sry this was all supposed to go togther
 
2013-11-18 05:39:06 PM
if_stmt ::=  "if" expression ":" Python
             ( "elif" expression ":" Caught )*
             ["else" ":" GotAway]
 
2013-11-18 05:47:18 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: "Please leave the python hunting to the experts..."

...like subby's mom.


Like subby...
 
2013-11-18 06:04:53 PM

Stone Meadow: Do NOT GIS for 'giant snakes eating people'...disturbing...very disturbing.


Most of those photos have also been proven to be fake...
 
2013-11-18 06:12:45 PM

juvandy: Stone Meadow: Do NOT GIS for 'giant snakes eating people'...disturbing...very disturbing.

Most of those photos have also been proven to be fake...


Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

~cower.me
 
2013-11-18 06:32:30 PM

Rik01: Hopefully, no one will discover a commercial value to the critters, like they did with the gators.


I know gators get used for meat, hides and tourist attractions, but aside from the skin, I'm not sure what you'd do with a dead python.


You want a snake? Get a Garter snake or a nice Green Snake. A couple of Black Snakes around outside of your house is supposed to be good luck and keeps the rats and mice population down. (I've had Black Snakes in my yard for decades.) Glass Snakes and Green Snakes in your garden helps keep the pests like squirrels and birds away from your crops. They also eat insects. There's also the Clown Snake, the Ribbon Snake and the colorful King Snake.

I am not fond of snakes at all, but if one of your friendly snakes will kill the Texas Copperhead that lives under my house, I will give that snake a name and hug him.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-11-18 07:37:11 PM
www.truediveteam.org

/happy to let her hunt for pythons in my pants
//not bad, not bad at all
 
2013-11-19 12:01:41 AM

WordyGrrl: Rik01: Hopefully, no one will discover a commercial value to the critters, like they did with the gators.

I know gators get used for meat, hides and tourist attractions, but aside from the skin, I'm not sure what you'd do with a dead python.


You want a snake? Get a Garter snake or a nice Green Snake. A couple of Black Snakes around outside of your house is supposed to be good luck and keeps the rats and mice population down. (I've had Black Snakes in my yard for decades.) Glass Snakes and Green Snakes in your garden helps keep the pests like squirrels and birds away from your crops. They also eat insects. There's also the Clown Snake, the Ribbon Snake and the colorful King Snake.

I am not fond of snakes at all, but if one of your friendly snakes will kill the Texas Copperhead that lives under my house, I will give that snake a name and hug him.


King snakes eat other snakes. And rats!
// I'm partial to the Scarlet King
// They're purty
 
2013-11-19 08:33:13 AM
"Florida prohibits possession or sale of the pythons for use as pets, and federal law bans the importation and interstate sale of the species. "

Ive had a few snakes before, couple ball boas, pythons, and my brother has one, did not know this. Anyone know when the ban was set? It couldnt have been that long ago.
 
2013-11-19 03:53:31 PM

biatchqueen: WordyGrrl: Rik01: Hopefully, no one will discover a commercial value to the critters, like they did with the gators.

I know gators get used for meat, hides and tourist attractions, but aside from the skin, I'm not sure what you'd do with a dead python.


You want a snake? Get a Garter snake or a nice Green Snake. A couple of Black Snakes around outside of your house is supposed to be good luck and keeps the rats and mice population down. (I've had Black Snakes in my yard for decades.) Glass Snakes and Green Snakes in your garden helps keep the pests like squirrels and birds away from your crops. They also eat insects. There's also the Clown Snake, the Ribbon Snake and the colorful King Snake.

I am not fond of snakes at all, but if one of your friendly snakes will kill the Texas Copperhead that lives under my house, I will give that snake a name and hug him.

King snakes eat other snakes. And rats!
// I'm partial to the Scarlet King
// They're purty


Those are quite colorful, but we don't have those around here. Just copperheads and rattlesnakes. Guess I'll have to see if anybody's got a snake-eating junkyard dawg for rent. Life in the country isn't as idyllic as I thought it would be...*sigh*
 
2013-11-20 03:57:58 AM

WordyGrrl: biatchqueen: WordyGrrl: Rik01: Hopefully, no one will discover a commercial value to the critters, like they did with the gators.

I know gators get used for meat, hides and tourist attractions, but aside from the skin, I'm not sure what you'd do with a dead python.


You want a snake? Get a Garter snake or a nice Green Snake. A couple of Black Snakes around outside of your house is supposed to be good luck and keeps the rats and mice population down. (I've had Black Snakes in my yard for decades.) Glass Snakes and Green Snakes in your garden helps keep the pests like squirrels and birds away from your crops. They also eat insects. There's also the Clown Snake, the Ribbon Snake and the colorful King Snake.

I am not fond of snakes at all, but if one of your friendly snakes will kill the Texas Copperhead that lives under my house, I will give that snake a name and hug him.

King snakes eat other snakes. And rats!
// I'm partial to the Scarlet King
// They're purty

Those are quite colorful, but we don't have those around here. Just copperheads and rattlesnakes. Guess I'll have to see if anybody's got a snake-eating junkyard dawg for rent. Life in the country isn't as idyllic as I thought it would be...*sigh*


Actually, common kingsnakes are quite common in Texas (I assume that is where you are from given your profile), and they love to eat copperheads, as well as pretty much everything else smaller than themselves.

Have a photo of the copperhead in question?  Most snakes that most people identify as copperheads are actually something else, usually harmless watersnakes and ratsnakes.  Check out the Facebook page "Snake Identification" to get help with positive IDs.  Alternatively, if you post a photo here I can give you a positive ID.

/snake biologist
 
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