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(Gawker)   Carrot Top: "I'm sorry that I look good." Oh, wait, you're serious. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha   (gawker.com) divider line 52
    More: Sad, Carrot Top, Comedy Central Roast  
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7397 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Nov 2013 at 3:02 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-18 01:07:27 PM
So "good" equals "Carol Channing on steroids and wearing a red clown wig"?
 
2013-11-18 01:10:45 PM
oblig
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-18 01:10:55 PM
Mr (?) Top is certainly a strange looking motherfarker.

Good? I don't think so.
 
2013-11-18 01:16:19 PM
He is a red headed man, he never had a chance at looking good.
 
2013-11-18 01:42:01 PM
"Oprah Where Are They Now"

Seriously? Carrot Top is getting $50 a ticket five nights a week.
 
2013-11-18 01:50:01 PM
Proving that "butter face" isn't exclusively for women.
 
2013-11-18 01:51:45 PM
First of all, don't attend a roast if you can't take a jab or two. And yeah, you do look like the love child of Kathy Griffin and the dude from The Mask with Elizabeth Taylor's make-up guy.
 
2013-11-18 02:41:48 PM
I have to find that one good picture of him, the one where he's clown shoes.

cbskyxy2.files.wordpress.com

OK, maybe not "good", but passable. But LOOK AT THOSE SHOES. His feet are about size 18.
And now that I'm thinking about it, look at that hand! It's as big as his head.
Carrot-top clearly has a perspective problem.
 
2013-11-18 03:06:03 PM
si0.twimg.com
R.I.P. Carrot Top
 
2013-11-18 03:09:11 PM

cryinoutloud: I have to find that one good picture of him, the one where he's clown shoes.

[cbskyxy2.files.wordpress.com image 620x411]

OK, maybe not "good", but passable. But LOOK AT THOSE SHOES. His feet are about size 18.
And now that I'm thinking about it, look at that hand! It's as big as his head.
Carrot-top clearly has a perspective problem.


Looks like a photographer-created il-lu-lu-SION!
 
2013-11-18 03:12:24 PM
Probably not a popular opinion, but wife and I saw him at the Luxor a couple of years ago, thinking, what the hell the tickets are cheap... we had front row seats, not only was he funny but he kept giving out shots of Crown Royal so by the end of the night I was laughing and lit.
 
2013-11-18 03:17:59 PM
*shudder*
 
2013-11-18 03:23:54 PM
Simply letting his eyebrows grow back in would be an improvement.  I loathe overly groomed, plucked and tweezed eyebrows on men.
 
2013-11-18 03:28:22 PM
I always see him around town. He is as ugly in person as he is in those pictures everyone posts.
 
2013-11-18 03:33:43 PM
No.


Just....


No.
 
2013-11-18 03:39:53 PM
I'd like to know how he survived growing up in Florida being that fair skinned.
 
2013-11-18 03:46:34 PM
i78.photobucket.com

/Obligatory
 
2013-11-18 03:58:40 PM
And not to defend this guy even more but I can't help but notice that he is THE prop comic. Nobody can be a prop comic anymore because they will be accused of stealing Carrot Top's act.

/same goes for Dunham and his dolls
 
2013-11-18 04:07:13 PM

meh.: Probably not a popular opinion, but wife and I saw him at the Luxor a couple of years ago, thinking, what the hell the tickets are cheap... we had front row seats, not only was he funny but he kept giving out shots of Crown Royal so by the end of the night I was laughing and lit.


Right with you there.  The wife and I saw him several years ago at the Luxor, and he was frickin' hilarious.  Much funnier in person.
 
2013-11-18 04:09:52 PM
I prefer Blueberry Head's prop comedy stylings.
 
2013-11-18 04:09:55 PM

cryinoutloud: I have to find that one good picture of him, the one where he's clown shoes.

[cbskyxy2.files.wordpress.com image 620x411]

OK, maybe not "good", but passable. But LOOK AT THOSE SHOES. His feet are about size 18.
And now that I'm thinking about it, look at that hand! It's as big as his head.
Carrot-top clearly has a perspective problem.


You know what they say about perspective problems.
 
2013-11-18 04:10:07 PM

jaylectricity: And not to defend this guy even more but I can't help but notice that he is THE prop comic. Nobody can be a prop comic anymore because they will be accused of stealing Carrot Top's act.

/same goes for Dunham and his dolls


Mike and the Bots! Joel!
 
2013-11-18 04:12:45 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: He is a red headed man, he never had a chance at looking good.


Oh, bullshiat. He's ugly as sin and it's not because of his hair.
 
2013-11-18 04:17:08 PM
I used to work with a guy who is pretty good friends with CT. He said its freakish how focused on health and fitness he is. Then the guy proceeded to show me pics of various pool parties at CTs. Dude might be ugly, but he is surrounded by some top shelf talent. I doubt he'll lose too much sleep.
 
2013-11-18 04:27:42 PM

jaylectricity: And not to defend this guy even more but I can't help but notice that he is THE prop comic. Nobody can be a prop comic anymore because they will be accused of stealing Carrot Top's act.


Yeah, like Rip Taylor and Gallager ripped off Carrot Top years before he was born.
 
2013-11-18 04:40:39 PM
cdn.pastemagazine.com

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-18 04:50:25 PM

Mike Chewbacca: The Stealth Hippopotamus: He is a red headed man, he never had a chance at looking good.

Oh, bullshiat. He's ugly as sin and it's not because of his hair.




WUT?
www1.pictures.zimbio.com
 
2013-11-18 04:53:26 PM
He makes kitty SLAM shut.
 
2013-11-18 04:56:53 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: il-lu-lu-SION


An illusion is something a whore does for money.
 
2013-11-18 05:09:11 PM
I don't care what he looks like. Dude always cracks me the f up with his manic energy inventions and act. He makes me laugh my ass off.
 
2013-11-18 05:17:41 PM

WienerButt: I always see him around town. He is as ugly in person as he is in those pictures everyone posts.


He takes his pets to the same vet as we do. I have to agree with you. He does look slightly less bad in person without his makeup though.
 
2013-11-18 05:48:43 PM

iron_city_ap: I used to work with a guy who is pretty good friends with CT. He said its freakish how focused on health and fitness he is. Then the guy proceeded to show me pics of various pool parties at CTs. Dude might be ugly, but he is surrounded by some top shelf talent. I doubt he'll lose too much sleep.


From what other comics have said on various podcasts CT is rolling in trim. So much so, that if you're not bringing two or three other smoking hot underwear models to the party with you, you're not worth his time.
 
2013-11-18 05:48:57 PM
Frankly, he doesn't look all that much different.  Still looks like an old tranny.
 
2013-11-18 05:56:20 PM
I bummed a light off him once.  His management company and my company were in the same building in Boca Raton.  I didn't recognize him and, well, he gave me a light so I reckon he's all right in my book.
 
2013-11-18 06:06:37 PM

freetomato: Simply letting his eyebrows grow back in would be an improvement.  I loathe overly groomed, plucked and tweezed eyebrows on men.



This SO farking much! Both Carrot Top & Louis Tomlinson need to put down the effing tweezers & let their eyebrows grow back. It makes guys look like they moonlight as a female impersonators. Not a good look for supposedly straight guys.

Before CT started going bonkers with the tweezers he was kind of cute, sometimes. Louis is pretty handsome, even more so lately. It's just the over plucked eyebrows make them look... odd.

(I have nothing against female impersonators. I went to see a show on my last birthday & loved it. I just don't understand straight guys needing to over pluck their brows. Especially if they are not female impersonators.) (Yes I know the rumor is that Louis is gayer than a unicorn who craps rainbows but he says he's straight. So until he steps out of the closet I'm going to assume he's straight & will refer to him as being straight. Honestly though it wouldn't surprise me if he is a Kinsey 6.)
 
2013-11-18 06:20:37 PM
Clearly he stole his act from Blueberry Head:

i1.ytimg.com

/College Favorite!!!
 
2013-11-18 07:49:24 PM
Yeah, not sure how many people actually think Carrot Top is 100% (or any %) hetero, not that it matters.  Quite a few years ago when he was in Charlotte, he got gropy with my ex and apparently tried to get him to go home for a hook-up.  But, yeah, I mean, I hate calling someone ugly, but if we're being objective and only talking about physical appearance, there's no saving that guy's face, which ruins everything no matter how fit and muscular he may be.  That being said, I've heard he's a pretty nice guy as long as you don't mind getting groped now and then if you've got a hot ass.
 
2013-11-18 08:21:45 PM
MrHappyRotter:there's no saving that guy's face

What if he covered most of it with a beard? ;)
 
2013-11-18 08:31:54 PM

MrHappyRotter: Yeah, not sure how many people actually think Carrot Top is 100% (or any %) hetero, not that it matters.  Quite a few years ago when he was in Charlotte, he got gropy with my ex and apparently tried to get him to go home for a hook-up.  But, yeah, I mean, I hate calling someone ugly, but if we're being objective and only talking about physical appearance, there's no saving that guy's face, which ruins everything no matter how fit and muscular he may be.  That being said, I've heard he's a pretty nice guy as long as you don't mind getting groped now and then if you've got a hot ass.


He's totally nice aside from all that sexual harassment.
 
2013-11-18 09:50:31 PM

wellreadneck: What if he covered most of it with a beard?


Reading the comments in TFA, it sounds like he's got the beard angle pretty well covered.
 
2013-11-18 10:40:30 PM
He played my college in 93 and he went out and bought all of us drinks and then tried to get all of us guys to take our shirts off...
 
2013-11-18 10:53:36 PM
1.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com
 
2013-11-18 11:24:07 PM
www.planetdan.net
 
2013-11-18 11:33:16 PM
I thinks he's hilarious - but I do have to take a minute or two to get used to that face before I can get into his act.

Guys with plastic surgery always freak me out. I don't quite understand the combination feminine eye makeup/arched eyebrows with the hulked-out physique. He looks like somebody grafted the undead head of Lucille Ball onto The Rock's body.
 
2013-11-18 11:56:33 PM
Married dudes who hang out in Vegas apparently think this guy is the shiat
 
2013-11-19 08:36:58 AM
Carrot top looks so "good" that he has slipped in to the uncanny valley.
 
2013-11-19 11:28:27 AM

theflatline: He played my college in 93


Mine too, well '90-something. Somewhere in the 7 years I spent in college. Didn't take anyone out to date rape anyone though that I know of. Wasn't terribly funny but everyone laughed because everyone was shiatfaced.
 
2013-11-19 12:11:49 PM
I know what to call it - how about Box Office Poison?
 
2013-11-19 12:31:11 PM

Marquis de Sod: I know what to call it - how about Box Office Poison?


That might have been the best talk show interview ever. He made Conan completely lose his shiat.
 
2013-11-19 01:23:15 PM
He terrifies me.
 
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