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(Daily Mail)   Parents of the obese toddler who is famous for smoking two packs a day feel annoyed when he is referred to as "the smoking kid." "It makes me feel like they are accusing me of being a bad parent"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 100
    More: Sad, health effects of tobacco, Mr and Mrs, cigarettes, habits, food craving  
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13145 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Nov 2013 at 11:46 AM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-18 10:05:00 AM
FTFAAldi's story can be seen in Elephant Man: Body Bizarre on TLC UK at 10pm on Monday November 18.

Oh good. I was wondering where I could go to actively enjoy the problems and anodynes of the world's poor as entertainment. Thanks, Daily Fail!
 
2013-11-18 10:32:00 AM
FTA: 'He would bang his head on the wall if he couldn't get what he wanted. That's why I get him cigarettes in the first place - because of his temper and his crying.


And there's the rub: some people are just not equipped to handle negotiations with the insane toddler.  Some of them will bang their heads against the wall, door, floor... and you just have to let them do it.  Either they aren't hurting themselves and are just doing it for attention, or they are hurting themselves and will stop.  It just takes mountains of willpower and the ability to handle ear-piercing shrieking.

I recommend ear plugs and muffs in combination.
 
2013-11-18 10:54:27 AM
buying cigarettes for my kids seems like such a good idea now. Imagine all the free time I'll have not parenting
 
2013-11-18 10:55:37 AM

I_C_Weener: buying cigarettes for my kids seems like such a good idea now. Imagine all the free time I'll have not parenting


I find it faster to just give them something sharp and pointy and guide them in the direction of playground
 
2013-11-18 11:14:20 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: I_C_Weener: buying cigarettes for my kids seems like such a good idea now. Imagine all the free time I'll have not parenting

I find it faster to just give them something sharp and pointy and guide them in the direction of playground


Man, I'm starting to think I'm missing out by not having kids.  I guess I'll just have to go hand cigarettes and combat knives to someone else's toddlers.
 
2013-11-18 11:26:56 AM
Wait until he discovers beer......
 
2013-11-18 11:50:20 AM
"I mean, he's obese, too, but does anybody mention that?! People are just so one-dimensional!"
 
2013-11-18 11:51:40 AM
Fine, we'll just call him "the fat kid" then.
 
2013-11-18 11:52:08 AM
"It makes me feel like they are accusing me of being a bad parent"

What do you mean, "makes me feel 'like'"?

They are accusing you of being a bad parent. No bones about it.
 
2013-11-18 11:53:09 AM
Sounds like my wife.  "Just because I'm never home and always out at the bar... you are trying to make me sound like a bad mother".  No... you're doing that on your own.
 
2013-11-18 11:53:15 AM
I'm all for an international committee that is allowed to rip the tubes out of anyone that squats out a kid and does this.
 
2013-11-18 11:53:51 AM
Damn, that can't possibly be actually real. No parent is that idiotic, not even in third world countries. It's not like a toddler could buy 40 cigarettes a day. How did he even start smoking?

/ it's like that 180lbs baby in china; you JUST know that he's not the one buying the food or feeding himself.
 
2013-11-18 11:54:12 AM

factoryconnection: FTA: 'He would bang his head on the wall if he couldn't get what he wanted. That's why I get him cigarettes in the first place - because of his temper and his crying.


And there's the rub: some people are just not equipped to handle negotiations with the insane toddler.  Some of them will bang their heads against the wall, door, floor... and you just have to let them do it.  Either they aren't hurting themselves and are just doing it for attention, or they are hurting themselves and will stop.  It just takes mountains of willpower and the ability to handle ear-piercing shrieking.

I recommend ear plugs and muffs in combination.


This. If I had an infant or scream-y toddler, I would have some sort of visual monitoring, even if it was just a light on the other end of a motion sensor. Ear plugs plus noise-canceling headphones (the really good ones that Bose makes) would be the only way I could handle it without ending up a Fark headline.

/snipped and child-free
//amazed that anyone can learn to tune out that sound
///case of the mondays slashies
 
2013-11-18 11:54:16 AM

Somacandra: FTFA:  Aldi's story can be seen in Elephant Man: Body Bizarre on TLC UK at 10pm on Monday November 18.

Oh good. I was wondering where I could go to actively enjoy the problems and anodynes of the world's poor as entertainment. Thanks, Daily Fail!


We've always enjoyed the problems of the poor as entertainment.

You think that circus freaks were well off?
 
2013-11-18 11:54:31 AM
I'll never understand how people can smoke 2 packs a day.  I smoke like 6-8 and that's enough.

Chain smoking through the entire day must turn your voice into Dr. Girlfriend.
 
2013-11-18 11:54:45 AM

factoryconnection: FTA: 'He would bang his head on the wall if he couldn't get what he wanted. That's why I get him cigarettes in the first place - because of his temper and his crying.


And there's the rub: some people are just not equipped to handle negotiations with the insane toddler.  Some of them will bang their heads against the wall, door, floor... and you just have to let them do it.  Either they aren't hurting themselves and are just doing it for attention, or they are hurting themselves and will stop.  It just takes mountains of willpower and the ability to handle ear-piercing shrieking.

I recommend ear plugs and muffs in combination.


And then your son will hate you and your selfish "because I said so lies" and he will ride off on his motorcycle flipping you the bird, as I learned earlier this morning.
 
2013-11-18 11:54:47 AM
1) he's awfully tall for a "2 year old"

2) is he maybe actually more like 20 and has that Gary Coleman thing?
 
2013-11-18 11:55:26 AM

factoryconnection: FTA: 'He would bang his head on the wall if he couldn't get what he wanted. That's why I get him cigarettes in the first place - because of his temper and his crying.


And there's the rub: some people are just not equipped to handle negotiations with the insane toddler. Some of them will bang their heads against the wall, door, floor... and you just have to let them do it. Either they aren't hurting themselves and are just doing it for attention, or they are hurting themselves and will stop. It just takes mountains of willpower and the ability to handle ear-piercing shrieking.

I recommend ear plugs and muffs in combination.


Well, in the first world countries, I recommend a quick phone call to the pediatrician.  Only because they have probably seen and dealt with it before and have a great solution.  I knew someone with a kid who would hold her breath until she would pass out unless she got her way.  Her parents were afraid letting her do that would cause damage as she passed out so they called the doctor.  Doctor suggested they throw cold water at her next time she does it because that causes you to take a deep breath of air in.  Problem solved.
 
2013-11-18 11:55:31 AM

Glitchwerks: I'll never understand how people can smoke 2 packs a day.  I smoke like 6-8 and that's enough.

Chain smoking through the entire day must turn your voice into Dr. Girlfriend.


HAHAHAH

No doubt. I felt like shiat when I was up to a pack per day.

Doing the patch and down to 3 - 5 (at most) per day.
 
2013-11-18 11:56:00 AM
Geee, i  wonder why.
 
2013-11-18 11:56:23 AM
Parents of the Year, I salute you:


i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-11-18 11:57:25 AM
That's exactly what they are doing, lady.
 
2013-11-18 11:57:33 AM
How did he even learn how to do it?  A child of 2 can barely put on their own pants and he's able to inhale and hold smoke and successfully exhale? Who lights it?  How does he ash it?  Does he know to crush it out?  It seems like a lot of responsibility for a two year old.

Hell I tried to smoke when I was SEVENTEEN and I had a coughing fit, the sweats and puked my brains out.
 
2013-11-18 11:57:44 AM
Aldi? They named him after a generic supermarket chain and are surprised he's turned out poorly?
 
2013-11-18 11:58:11 AM
1. Wait until baby finds out much more fun the matches are than the cigarettes.

2. Quit judging their parenting skills. Baby only smokes when he's drinking.

I would like to remind folks about the recent story of the NY doctor that declared a father unfit because he let his kid go hungry rather than let him eat a tantrum meal at McDonald's.

Sometimes doing nothing is the best response to a toddler tantrum.
 
2013-11-18 11:58:41 AM

DigitalSorceress: 1) he's awfully tall for a "2 year old"

2) is he maybe actually more like 20 and has that Gary Coleman thing?


He was two when the story on his smoking broke. Now he's five.
 
2013-11-18 12:01:03 PM
I'm more concerned about this other article linked on the page.   Warning: cuteness overload
 
2013-11-18 12:01:45 PM
bigger than life
animated
smokes
endulgant
...has plenty to eat at home

I see a mayoral run in his future.
 
2013-11-18 12:02:11 PM
No chain smoking monkeys now no chain smoking children! This is not the world I want to live in!

/did this on mobile and it auto corrected what I put in for smoking to chain snorkeling monkeys
 
2013-11-18 12:02:59 PM

Anayalator: Parents of the Year, I salute you:


He smokes two packs a day, but still drinks from a bottle? This story is WTF on so many levels.
 
2013-11-18 12:03:37 PM
Y'all need to relax...It's not like he's smoking weed.
 
2013-11-18 12:04:42 PM
Throws tantrums, overindulges on fatty food, demands toys - are we sure he isn't an American?
 
2013-11-18 12:05:00 PM

lennavan: I knew someone with a kid who would hold her breath until she would pass out unless she got her way.


How is that even possible?  I don't even have the bodily control to hold it long enough for that to happen at 40.  At a certain point your body takes control away from the brain and forces the lungs to move.  Was this kid some kind of Buddhist guru?
 
2013-11-18 12:06:29 PM
cinema1544.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-18 12:06:55 PM
I usually laugh when I hear, "Don't you dare tell me how to raise my child." There's a ton of shiatty parents that do in fact need to be told.
 
2013-11-18 12:07:58 PM
What a fat little f**k! My folks had a solution for temper tantrums that worked real well -- a smack on the arse.

In about 20 years, we'll see this kid, fat, mouthy and selfish, running some small business and raising heck with his staff and customers.

I'd like to know who thought it was a good idea to give him smokes in the first place.
 
2013-11-18 12:08:20 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-11-18 12:08:39 PM
Well at least the daily fail is bashing somebody other than the U.S. this week.
 
2013-11-18 12:08:55 PM

Grapple: Sounds like my wife.  "Just because I'm never home and always out at the bar... you are trying to make me sound like a bad mother".  No... you're doing that on your own.


Haha, you sure know how to pick 'em.
 
2013-11-18 12:09:43 PM

Glitchwerks: I'll never understand how people can smoke 2 packs a day.  I smoke like 6-8 and that's enough.

Chain smoking through the entire day must turn your voice into Dr. Girlfriend.


Ha! I had the same problem when I smoked. A pack would reliably last me 3 days. It took months of arguing before my wife would even call me a smoker.

/Quitting was hard anyway. 2+ years now.
 
2013-11-18 12:09:48 PM
Damn it,
Threw
 
2013-11-18 12:10:03 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-18 12:10:06 PM
"It makes me feel like they are accusing me of being a bad parent"

Well, to be fair, you are.

/thread
 
2013-11-18 12:11:39 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [img.fark.net image 627x807]


Threw.
 
2013-11-18 12:12:28 PM

This Looks Fun: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [img.fark.net image 627x807]

Threw.


Yeah.  Look up a couple of posts, champ.
 
2013-11-18 12:13:03 PM

ReverendJasen: lennavan: I knew someone with a kid who would hold her breath until she would pass out unless she got her way.

How is that even possible?  I don't even have the bodily control to hold it long enough for that to happen at 40.  At a certain point your body takes control away from the brain and forces the lungs to move.  Was this kid some kind of Buddhist guru?


Kids do it all the time. I think there are several factors at play. For one, they burn through their oxygen supply much faster than an adult. And they're not usually just calmly holding their breath. They're in full on valsalva. Basically, stand up and try to shiat your pants as hard as you can, while at the same time trying to stop yourself from sitting your pants, while also flexing every muscle in your body.
 
2013-11-18 12:13:41 PM

factoryconnection: FTA: 'He would bang his head on the wall if he couldn't get what he wanted. That's why I get him cigarettes in the first place - because of his temper and his crying.


And there's the rub: some people are just not equipped to handle negotiations with the insane toddler.  Some of them will bang their heads against the wall, door, floor... and you just have to let them do it.  Either they aren't hurting themselves and are just doing it for attention, or they are hurting themselves and will stop.  It just takes mountains of willpower and the ability to handle ear-piercing shrieking.

I recommend ear plugs and muffs in combination.


My son, nearing on 18 months, does the dramatic "drop to my knees, lay down on the ground and cry" technique. He does it usually when we are making dinner and keep him from reaching for the gas burners on the stove.

He has a kryptonite: wooden kitchen spoons. Solves all problems.

/his sister, almost 6 months, thinks his fits are hilarious
 
2013-11-18 12:14:37 PM

This Looks Fun: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [img.fark.net image 627x807]

Threw.


He's a dumb kid, how's he supposed to know how to spell it write?
 
2013-11-18 12:15:52 PM
This is why the third world needs more freeways - so parents can tell their bratty spawn where to go play.
 
2013-11-18 12:16:08 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

Oh yeah, Beef-farking-cake, brah!
40 cigarettes a day and no exercise, brah!
It ain't easy, ya dig.
 
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