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(National Geographic)   Scientists did not kill the clam while looking at its age. We now return you back to the Daily Fail, where OhMaGerd is real news to them dammit   (news.nationalgeographic.com) divider line 87
    More: Followup, OhMaGerd, long-living organisms, James Scourse, Ming, Bangor University, Queen Elizabeth I, marine geologist  
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8624 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2013 at 4:16 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



87 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-16 03:25:10 PM
joshuatrent.com
 
2013-11-16 03:32:48 PM
You want humor or you want truth?
 
2013-11-16 03:33:19 PM
"This particular animal was..... collected live from the Icelandic shelf in 2006,"

So, in other words, they killed it.
 
2013-11-16 03:58:39 PM

BunkyBrewman: "This particular animal was..... collected live from the Icelandic shelf in 2006,"

So, in other words, they killed it.


From a 2007 story: The animal died when the researchers counted its rings.

So... yeah, I'd think so
 
2013-11-16 04:18:48 PM
And yet Daily Fail is one of Fark's favorite "news" sources.
 
2013-11-16 04:24:15 PM
Shell valves? WTF is that?
 
2013-11-16 04:24:58 PM
I'd eat that farker raw, I wonder what kind of stomach buzz it would give me.
 
2013-11-16 04:28:03 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: BunkyBrewman: "This particular animal was..... collected live from the Icelandic shelf in 2006,"

So, in other words, they killed it.

From a 2007 story: The animal died when the researchers counted its rings.

So... yeah, I'd think so


Yeah, I can't find where N.G. explains how they did not kill the clam. Maybe they meant the freezing process was random so this was not a vendetta against elderly bivalves. But then isn't this a rather obvious example of how killing animals to study them is destructive? Not that, you know, a couple hundred years of killing animals to study them hasn't been proven to be a major (in many species of birds' cases the single), factor in human-caused extinctions before Global Warming was a thing.

I mean, I thought biologists are more enlightened and rational than this. I am disappointed.
 
2013-11-16 04:28:27 PM

BunkyBrewman: "This particular animal was..... collected live from the Icelandic shelf in 2006,"

So, in other words, they killed it.


Along with 199 others, for the purpose of studying 'AGW'.
 
2013-11-16 04:29:59 PM
World's oldest clam? I'd stuff it.
 
2013-11-16 04:30:14 PM

BunkyBrewman: "This particular animal was..... collected live from the Icelandic shelf in 2006,"

So, in other words, they killed it.


This
 
2013-11-16 04:33:17 PM
All 200 clams were killed when they were frozen on board to take them home. They didn't find out how old Ming was until they were back in the lab and looked at its shell under a microscope.

"No u guyz, we're totes not to blame for this, we're jus like the guyz that cut down that redwood to cut its rings and then found out it was a hundred brazilian years old later."
 
2013-11-16 04:33:39 PM
NatGeo says:
a. The damn thing was frozen when collected (along with a bunch of its clammy brethren)
and
b. lots of chowder clams are old too, so STFU.

It's on the Natgeo front page. Not that I'm shilling for them. I'm kninda pissed that I had to give them my email and birth date to look at their web page so now l guess the government and lord knows who else will know about my prurient interest in Neanderthal inter-species sex.
 
2013-11-16 04:33:58 PM
With a bearded clam, I go by the length of the beard.

/"zz top?"
 
2013-11-16 04:34:27 PM
This is the reason scientists need to be stopped. All they do is kill things. What good have they ever brought us?
 
2013-11-16 04:34:53 PM
Oh good. The deniers are here.

You guys must have missed the part where they said that it was infinitesimally impossible for this particular clam to have been the oldest clam in the world.

But yes, this PROVES we should squeeze every last drop of oil out of the ground and burn it as fast as we possibly can... because reasons.
 
2013-11-16 04:36:56 PM

HotWingAgenda: All 200 clams were killed when they were frozen on board to take them home. They didn't find out how old Ming was until they were back in the lab and looked at its shell under a microscope.

"No u guyz, we're totes not to blame for this, we're jus like the guyz that cut down that redwood to cut its rings and then found out it was a hundred brazilian years old later."


All this outrage about someone catching and freezing a clam?  Call me farking Stalin
 
2013-11-16 04:39:17 PM
Also this is giving me a chuckle considering it's an article about ancient clams...

More: Followup, OhMaGerd, long-living organisms, James Scourse, Ming, Bangor University, Queen Elizabeth I, marine geologist

wrong one but still...
 
2013-11-16 04:42:06 PM
images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-11-16 04:45:09 PM
CLAMPAGE!!!
 
2013-11-16 04:50:03 PM

here to help: Oh good. The deniers are here.

You guys must have missed the part where they said that it was infinitesimally impossible for this particular clam to have been the oldest clam in the world.

But yes, this PROVES we should squeeze every last drop of oil out of the ground and burn it as fast as we possibly can... because reasons.


you're a strange cat
 
2013-11-16 04:51:21 PM

WTFDYW: Shell valves? WTF is that?


visual.merriam-webster.com
 
2013-11-16 04:51:48 PM

here to help: Oh good. The deniers are here.

You guys must have missed the part where they said that it was infinitesimally impossible for this particular clam to have been the oldest clam in the world.

But yes, this PROVES we should squeeze every last drop of oil out of the ground and burn it as fast as we possibly can... because reasons.


Wow... a 3 sentence post, and being sarcastic about 3 things that no one is saying.
 
2013-11-16 04:55:09 PM
Jesus, know I know why I shot my wife.....
 
2013-11-16 04:55:09 PM

cretinbob: WTFDYW: Shell valves? WTF is that?

[visual.merriam-webster.com image 550x384]


files.sharenator.com
 
2013-11-16 04:55:27 PM
Its a clam who gives a shiat
 
2013-11-16 04:55:30 PM

cretinbob: WTFDYW: Shell valves? WTF is that?

[visual.merriam-webster.com image 550x384]


Clamporn?
 
2013-11-16 04:55:32 PM
OH THE HUGE CLAMATY!
 
2013-11-16 04:58:37 PM

Begoggle: And yet Daily Fail is one of Fark's favorite "news" sources.


This. But where could a similar amount of snark be directed? Buzzfeed can only suck so much on its own.
 
2013-11-16 05:00:47 PM

drumhellar:


Say it again! Say chowda!
 
2013-11-16 05:02:59 PM

picturescrazy: drumhellar:

Say it again! Say chowda!


Nevaire!
 
2013-11-16 05:07:15 PM

cretinbob: WTFDYW: Shell valves? WTF is that?

[visual.merriam-webster.com image 550x384]


Thank you. I seriously did not know.
 
2013-11-16 05:09:07 PM

WTFDYW: cretinbob: WTFDYW: Shell valves? WTF is that?

[visual.merriam-webster.com image 550x384]

Thank you. I seriously did not know.


Also, thank you for not making fun of me for not knowing that.
 
2013-11-16 05:09:24 PM

WTFDYW: Thank you. I seriously did not know.


Hence the term "bivalve", meaning "two shells".  Valve = shell
 
2013-11-16 05:16:45 PM
Ate my first clam long ago.  It was 18 or 19 years old, nice and fresh. Never ate a bad one. Still eat clam, but, now it's the same one.  It's older, but, not 507 farking years old, unless she's lying to me.
 
2013-11-16 05:21:43 PM
Killing the clam

New euphemism
 
2013-11-16 05:22:07 PM

HotWingAgenda: All 200 clams were killed when they were frozen on board to take them home. They didn't find out how old Ming was until they were back in the lab and looked at its shell under a microscope.

"No u guyz, we're totes not to blame for this, we're jus like the guyz that cut down that redwood to cut its rings and then found out it was a hundred brazilian years old later."


That's pretty much exactly what happened with the oldest tree ever known; it was only when someone counted the rings on the stump they realized that it was far older than any other living thing ever discovered.
 
2013-11-16 05:24:33 PM
Why does the headline mock the Daily Mail when TFA links to the Mirror?
 
2013-11-16 05:32:00 PM

HotWingAgenda: All 200 clams were killed when they were frozen on board to take them home. They didn't find out how old Ming was until they were back in the lab and looked at its shell under a microscope.

"No u guyz, we're totes not to blame for this, we're jus like the guyz that cut down that redwood to cut its rings and then found out it was a hundred brazilian years old later."



If large redwoods were commonly used for firewood and no one cared, that might be analogous.
 
2013-11-16 05:32:19 PM
Don't worry, folks. Darrell Issa is still looking into this regardless.
 
2013-11-16 05:36:33 PM

GORDON: here to help: Oh good. The deniers are here.

You guys must have missed the part where they said that it was infinitesimally impossible for this particular clam to have been the oldest clam in the world.

But yes, this PROVES we should squeeze every last drop of oil out of the ground and burn it as fast as we possibly can... because reasons.

Wow... a 3 sentence post, and being sarcastic about 3 things that no one is saying.


I'm pretty sure that's where Tom was going with his comment. Notice the quotation marks around "AGW".
 
2013-11-16 05:49:09 PM
Think of me the next time you eat a withered clam.
 
2013-11-16 05:59:06 PM
So yeah, it was murder, but it wasn't premeditated murder. More like a drive-by shooting kinda thing.

So we're good then, right? You'll call off the Clamafia hit?
 
2013-11-16 05:59:54 PM

alaric3: You want humor or you want truth?


YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE HUMOR!

/sorry
 
2013-11-16 06:02:12 PM

brimed03: Clamafia


Worst. STD. EVAR!
 
2013-11-16 06:04:48 PM

brimed03: So yeah, it was murder, but it wasn't premeditated murder. More like a drive-by shooting kinda thing.

So we're good then, right? You'll call off the Clamafia hit?


They killed a food animal and counted it's age. So what? It's more than likely that many clams even older than that have been eaten and no one cared because no one bothered to check the age.
 
2013-11-16 06:05:23 PM
Scientists did not kill the clam while looking at its age.

Nope, they killed it when they captured it and froze it. Totally different.
 
2013-11-16 06:07:02 PM

HotWingAgenda: All 200 clams were killed when they were frozen on board to take them home. They didn't find out how old Ming was until they were back in the lab and looked at its shell under a microscope.

"No u guyz, we're totes not to blame for this, we're jus like the guyz that cut down that redwood to cut its rings and then found out it was a hundred brazilian years old later."


IIRC, the oldest tree, "Methuselah," wasn't a redwood but was killed by a scientist who was trying to take a core sample and got his Super Special Costly Grant-Paid Coring Device stuck in it. Not realising the significance of what he was doing, he cut down the tree to get his device back. Only then did he discover what he'd done.

He still doesn't like to talk about it. Or didn't. Didn't he die a few years ago? I could Google it but I'm on my mobile and just can't be bothered.

Wiki "Methuselah" and correct me as appropriate.
 
2013-11-16 06:11:50 PM
how do these living things know how long a year is, exactly?

i mean if i tried to time my ring growing i would overshoot or come up short of a year
 
2013-11-16 06:14:26 PM

cretinbob: WTFDYW: Shell valves? WTF is that?

[visual.merriam-webster.com image 550x384]


So, does the shucking knife go in the Lunule or the escutcheon?
 
2013-11-16 06:15:27 PM

brimed03: Wiki "Methuselah" and correct me as appropriate.


Methuselah is fine.

The tree grows at 2,900 to 3,000 m (9,500 to 9,800 ft) above sea level in the "Methuselah Grove" in the Ancient Bristlecone Pine Forest within the Inyo National Forest. Methuselah's exact location is undisclosed to protect it from vandalism.
 
2013-11-16 06:20:35 PM

geekasaurus: how do these living things know how long a year is, exactly?

i mean if i tried to time my ring growing i would overshoot or come up short of a year


The rings don't actually represent years, they represent growing cycles, roughly analogous to changes in season. So the estimate is predicated on the assumption that there is one big seasonal change each year, and a new band corresponding with that change. The reason why their estimate was off at first was because some of the seasonal bands are extremely small and close together, representing periods when nutrients were scarce consistently from year to year.
 
2013-11-16 06:20:48 PM

pushcart:  I'm kninda pissed that I had to give them my email and birth date to look at their web page


Um, I just X-ed that box away and was able to read the article without giving info. R U a sucker?
 
2013-11-16 06:29:30 PM
brimed03:
IIRC, the oldest tree, "Methuselah," wasn't a redwood but was killed by a scientist who was trying to take a core sample and got his Super Special Costly Grant-Paid Coring Device stuck in it. Not realising the significance of what he was doing, he cut down the tree to get his device back. Only then did he discover what he'd done.

Close, this is from the Prometheus (tree) wikipedia

Donald R. Currey was a graduate student at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill studying the climate dynamics of the Little Ice Age using dendrochronology techniques. In 1963 he became aware of the bristlecone populations in the Snake Range in general, and on Wheeler Peak in particular. Based on the trees' size, growth rate and growth forms, he became convinced that some were very old, cored some of them, and found trees exceeding 3,000 years old, but Currey was not able to obtain a continuous series of overlapping cores from WPN-114. Here, stories diverge. It is not clear whether Currey requested, or Forest Service personnel suggested, that he cut down and section the tree in lieu of coring it. There is also some uncertainty as to why a core sample could not be obtained. One version has it that he broke or lodged his only long increment borer and could not obtain another before the end of the field season'[6] another claims he broke two of them, while another implies that a core sample was too difficult to obtain and also would not provide as much definitive information as a full cross-section of the tree.[7]
In addition, there are conflicting views of Prometheus's uniqueness in the Wheeler Peak grove. It is reported that Currey and/or the Forest Service personnel who authorized the cutting believed the tree was just one of many large, very old trees in the grove. Others, at least one of whom was involved in the decision-making and tree cutting, believe that the tree was clearly unique - obviously older than other trees in the area. At least one person involved says that Currey knew that to be true at the time, although there is no known admission from Currey that he did, and others have disputed that the tree, based on observation alone, was obviously much older than the others.[3][7]
Another uncertainty is that it is not clear why the felling of such an old tree was necessary given what Currey was studying. Since the Little Ice Age started no more than 600 years ago, many trees could presumably have provided the information he was seeking for that time period. But in Currey's original report in the journal Ecology (Currey, 1965), he refers to the Little Ice Age as encompassing the period from 2000 BC to the present, thus defining the Age over a much longer time period than is currently accepted. Whether this was a common view at the time is not known. In the article, Currey indicates that he sectioned the tree as much to determine whether the oldest bristlecones were necessarily confined to California's White Mountains (as some dendrochronologists had been claiming) as to study the Little Ice Age.[7]
Whatever the rationale, the tree was cut down and sectioned in August 1964, and several pieces of the sections were hauled out to be processed and analyzed, first by Currey, then by others in later years. Sections or pieces of sections have ended up in various places, some of them publicly accessible, including the Great Basin National Park visitor center (Baker, Nevada), the Ely Convention Center (Ely, Nevada), the University of Arizona Laboratory of Tree-Ring Research (Tucson, Arizona), and the US Forest Service's Institute of Forest Genetics (Placerville, California).
 
2013-11-16 06:38:34 PM

fatassbastard: Scientists did not kill the clam while looking at its age.

Nope, they killed it when they captured it and froze it. Totally different.


IT'S A HOLOCAUST!

www.caitlinscatering.net
 
2013-11-16 06:42:30 PM
Why does the headline refer to the Daily Mail when the article itself links to a BBC story that blamed scientists for killing the clam?
 
2013-11-16 06:45:22 PM
In case anyone cares, "Ming" is the nickname of Menzies (pronounced, in Scottish fashion, MING-is) Campbell who was leader of the Liberal Democrat Party in the UK at the time the clam's age was counted. He was in his sixties then and political opponents tried to capitalise on this, saying he was too old to be a party leader.
 
2013-11-16 06:56:00 PM
"Kill the Clam": garage band name or disgusting sexual euphemism?
 
2013-11-16 07:12:45 PM

felching pen: "Kill the Clam": garage band name or disgusting sexual euphemism?


Why not both?
 
2013-11-16 07:13:53 PM

bigwf2007: Why does the headline refer to the Daily Mail when the article itself links to a BBC story that blamed scientists for killing the clam?


This. I saw only the Beeb and the Mirror linked in TFA. I'd go back to double check but it wants me to register now.
 
2013-11-16 07:18:09 PM
Ohhhh they didn't kill one, they killed thousands

o.O much better
 
2013-11-16 07:21:43 PM

fusillade762: bigwf2007: Why does the headline refer to the Daily Mail when the article itself links to a BBC story that blamed scientists for killing the clam?

This. I saw only the Beeb and the Mirror linked in TFA. I'd go back to double check but it wants me to register now.


IIRC the original link on fark about the deceased clam was to the daily fail, but I could be mistaken.
 
2013-11-16 07:31:51 PM

cretinbob: WTFDYW: Shell valves? WTF is that?

[visual.merriam-webster.com image 550x384]


Is that the new up armored Va jay jay the Defense department is working on?
 
2013-11-16 07:36:48 PM

BunkyBrewman: "This particular animal was..... collected live from the Icelandic shelf in 2006,"

So, in other words, they killed it.


So the original article was technically correct. The best kind of correct.
 
2013-11-16 07:43:00 PM

fusillade762: This. I saw only the Beeb and the Mirror linked in TFA. I'd go back to double check but it wants me to register now.


Yeah, I can't seem to get past their nag screen either.  Is it because I've already read 1 or 2 articles on NatGeo (NagGeo?) this month already?
 
2013-11-16 07:56:56 PM
Here's a similar apocryphal story, with a tad more credibility.
 
2013-11-16 07:57:28 PM

Thunderboy: fatassbastard: Scientists did not kill the clam while looking at its age.

Nope, they killed it when they captured it and froze it. Totally different.

IT'S A HOLOCAUST!

[www.caitlinscatering.net image 800x600]


a delicious holocaust.
 
2013-11-16 08:56:15 PM

iwantamonkey: pushcart:  I'm kninda pissed that I had to give them my email and birth date to look at their web page

Um, I just X-ed that box away and was able to read the article without giving info. R U a sucker?


Hell, I didn't even do that.

/AdBlock, etc
 
2013-11-16 09:43:41 PM

Thunderboy: fatassbastard: Scientists did not kill the clam while looking at its age.

Nope, they killed it when they captured it and froze it. Totally different.

IT'S A HOLOCAUST!

[www.caitlinscatering.net image 800x600]


So, clam bake at your place tonight?
 
2013-11-16 09:51:39 PM
At first I thought this was some kind of euphemism.
 
2013-11-16 10:12:06 PM
It was self-defense.

a0.vsoh.com
 
2013-11-16 10:13:11 PM

picturescrazy: brimed03: So yeah, it was murder, but it wasn't premeditated murder. More like a drive-by shooting kinda thing.

So we're good then, right? You'll call off the Clamafia hit?

They killed a food animal and counted it's age. So what? It's more than likely that many clams even older than that have been eaten and no one cared because no one bothered to check the age.


Yeah. All this outrage is complete idiocy. I for one am glad they collected 200 (a negligible amount) of these clams and learned something valuable from it. Our understanding of the world increases, and if these clams are truly that special now we actually know they are special and have the option to protect them.
Its almost as if the extreme left (don't hurt the animals/plants/amoebas hippies) and right (Jesus derpsters) are both against learning from natural sciences. Stuff them both.
 
2013-11-16 10:20:24 PM
 
2013-11-16 10:42:56 PM
It probably died of old age. I mean, come on it was 507 years old.
 
2013-11-16 10:58:23 PM

here to help: World's oldest clam? I'd stuff it.


I like my clams like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke...

/OK maybe that analogy doesn't really work here
 
2013-11-16 11:06:12 PM

WTFDYW: WTFDYW: cretinbob: WTFDYW: Shell valves? WTF is that?

[visual.merriam-webster.com image 550x384]

Thank you. I seriously did not know.

Also, thank you for not making fun of me for not knowing that.


Yeah, but keep it to yourself.

That's why they are called bi-valves. Whelks are univalves.

www.colourbox.de
 
2013-11-16 11:27:56 PM

cretinbob: WTFDYW: WTFDYW: cretinbob: WTFDYW: Shell valves? WTF is that?

[visual.merriam-webster.com image 550x384]

Thank you. I seriously did not know.

Also, thank you for not making fun of me for not knowing that.

Yeah, but keep it to yourself.

That's why they are called bi-valves. Whelks are univalves.

[www.colourbox.de image 321x480]


Which part is the clitoris?
 
2013-11-17 12:02:04 AM

Bastard Toadflax: Here's a similar apocryphal story, with a tad more credibility.


Wait, a link to climate audit and claims of credibility?

Oh wait, you'
re serious. Let me laugh harder.
 
2013-11-17 12:06:23 AM
It's a nasty old clam. The sea of full of them.
 
2013-11-17 01:18:32 AM
They would've been better off killing Grandma Moses.
 
2013-11-17 02:47:15 AM
I think we can do better than that, we could chop down some trees to count the rings...
 
2013-11-17 05:26:57 AM
RIP
Taste better with butter jpg
Old Clam Man
 
2013-11-17 06:20:49 AM

WTFDYW: WTFDYW: cretinbob: WTFDYW: Shell valves? WTF is that?

[visual.merriam-webster.com image 550x384]

Thank you. I seriously did not know.

Also, thank you for not making fun of me for not knowing that.


I didn't know it either :D I learn quite a lot of things on FARK, which is why it's awesome.
 
2013-11-17 07:28:20 AM

geekasaurus: how do these living things know how long a year is, exactly?


Seasons, same as all the other living things.

orbister: In case anyone cares, "Ming" is the nickname of Menzies (pronounced, in Scottish fashion, MING-is) Campbell


Aye, the "z" in Menzies isn't actually a "z". It's a yogh: ȝ.
 
2013-11-17 12:57:55 PM

Zafler: Bastard Toadflax: Here's a similar apocryphal story, with a tad more credibility.

Wait, a link to climate audit and claims of credibility?

Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh harder.


I am not a climate change denier, and the article I linked to has nothing to do with climate change. The clam story has nothing to do with climate change. A few years ago, I read an article about how someone cut down a bristlecone pine to see if it was the oldest tree on Earth, and, according to the article, it was. I linked to an article about that. I realize the source is from a climate denier, but the article has absolutely nothing to do with climate change.
 
2013-11-17 07:56:13 PM
Bastard Toadflax

My point was that Steve McIntyre isn't anything resembling credible on anything dealing with climate or dendrochronology, and you could probably get the same information using the wikipedia sources. Heck, you probably would have been better of just linking that. Especially since, most likely, it's just the same information with his own particular spin on it and/or digs at real scientists. I don't know for sure, since I don't give serial liars clicks.
 
2013-11-17 08:51:51 PM

Zafler: Bastard Toadflax

My point was that Steve McIntyre isn't anything resembling credible on anything dealing with climate or dendrochronology, and you could probably get the same information using the wikipedia sources. Heck, you probably would have been better of just linking that. Especially since, most likely, it's just the same information with his own particular spin on it and/or digs at real scientists. I don't know for sure, since I don't give serial liars clicks.


Yes, I farked up. I used the first source I found on this story. I didn't even look at the banner. If I had realized it was a climate denial blog, I would have kept looking. However, if you actually RTFA, you'll see the real source (which is not McIntyre) is credible, and there's no axe being ground.

I've even seen true and accurate reporting on Fox "News." That makes it no less true, but, obviously, one should consider the source.
 
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