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(DeadState)   Two words to get Jehovah's Witnesses to leave   (deadstate.org) divider line 129
    More: Amusing, Women's rights in Asia  
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8092 clicks; posted to Video » on 16 Nov 2013 at 5:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-16 11:28:21 AM  
I thought it would be to answer the door naked and say 'Come in.'
 
2013-11-16 11:36:53 AM  
Telling them you're a Satanist works too.
 
2013-11-16 11:39:11 AM  
They come by here every so often.  I always say "Sorry, I'm an atheist, but thanks for your concern."  They always leave, but somehow they forget or think I've changed my mind and they come back a few weeks or months later.
 
2013-11-16 11:43:47 AM  
My two-word sign in my front window does the trick:  "NO TRESPASSING"

From what I understand, JW's, Mormons, etc will not knock on the door if they see that.
 
2013-11-16 11:46:59 AM  
"Boudin Noir?"
 
2013-11-16 11:59:57 AM  

Gecko Gingrich: "Boudin Noir?"


I dunno and I'm skeered to watch the vid. Anybody brave enough to find out what the two words are?
 
2013-11-16 12:03:24 PM  

Stone Meadow: I dunno and I'm skeered to watch the vid. Anybody brave enough to find out what the two words are?


Boudin NoIr is blood sausage. JW's don't eat blood. I figure offering them some tasty, tasty blood will turn them away.

/The answer in the vid is: I'm gay.
 
2013-11-16 12:10:35 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: Stone Meadow: I dunno and I'm skeered to watch the vid. Anybody brave enough to find out what the two words are?

Boudin NoIr is blood sausage. JW's don't eat blood. I figure offering them some tasty, tasty blood will turn them away.

/The answer in the vid is: I'm gay.


Wow...thanks. I'm mildly impressed they don't immediately roll out the "pray the gay away" argument.

Haven't seen a missionary since installing a gate on my driveway.
 
2013-11-16 12:12:49 PM  
I've only had JW show up a couple of times, but there wasn't any real proselytizing. It was mostly "Here's an invitation to our church to celebrate some sort of Jesus thing, we'd like it if you came" and I took the flier and they left and I threw it out. That's about it.
 
2013-11-16 12:35:21 PM  
When I see them coming down the block I just let my pit bulls out onto the porch. Problem solved.

They're actually less dangerous than the cat, but of course the JWs don't know that.
 
2013-11-16 12:35:32 PM  
I'm not sure if they are JWs, but we have some religious bell ringers that go round my community every so often.  One time they came to my door.  The lady stammered out something like "Hi, uh, good afternoon.  I was wondering... do you think that Satan is part of the reason for all of the bad things going on in the world?"

"No, not really.  Thanks, have a nice day."

-door shut-


/csb
 
2013-11-16 12:40:56 PM  

gaslight: I thought it would be to answer the door naked and say 'Come in.'


I know someone who did exactly that. Worked like a charm.
 
2013-11-16 12:47:47 PM  
My wife's Jewish and her name was on the apartment list, and the local JW would target her, specifically. No other people on the floor were bothered. Just her. We just ignored them, but I was very tempted to break a law a few times.
 
2013-11-16 12:52:28 PM  
When I've told proselytizers of various stripes that I'm an atheist I've often found that they take it as a super fun challenge or think that I'm atheist because I've just not gotten the right sales pitch yet.

When I've told them I'm Catholic, they thank me for my time and walk away. Apparently Catholics are more nonredeemable than atheists.
 
2013-11-16 12:53:42 PM  
I was expecting something far worse.

How sad. Also, I wonder if language was a barrier. She was asking if he was white korean, I think.
 
2013-11-16 12:58:20 PM  
"No thanks" and politely closing the door has worked in the past for me. Some people just want to be passive-aggressive, I guess.
 
2013-11-16 01:02:18 PM  
I always enjoyed debating the merits of the bible with the JW's, but they don't come and visit me anymore. The last time I made the two ladies cry because I pointed out contradictions and the pure evil in the bible.
 
2013-11-16 01:07:27 PM  
In my younger days, I'd always wanted them to come to my door, so I could invite them in, listen to them for a bit and then say "That's really interesting. Say, have you heard the Good News about Amway?"
 
2013-11-16 01:13:13 PM  

aimtastic: When I've told them I'm Catholic, they thank me for my time and walk away. Apparently Catholics are more nonredeemable than atheists.


No, they just understand that 'once a Catholic, always a Catholic.'  You can quit going to church, or even quit believing in god, but the guilt stays with you forever.
 
2013-11-16 01:34:32 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: "No thanks" and politely closing the door has worked in the past for me. Some people just want to be passive-aggressive, I guess.


Yeah, this.  But if you want them to stop knocking, so you don;t have to open the door and say, "no thanks", hanging a gay pride flag outside the door works well.
 
2013-11-16 01:58:38 PM  
Roman Catholic usually worked for me.
If that didn't, sic 'em did.

/trained that mutt using old patent leather shoes
 
2013-11-16 03:58:08 PM  
Having had two girlfriends who were Witnesses, one having escaped and one who was still in the cult, having a lot of experience with them, just say "I'm dis-fellowshipped. Not only will those particular Witnesses not come to your door, none of them will ever again.
 
2013-11-16 04:01:54 PM  

neglogon: Roman Catholic usually worked for me.
If that didn't, sic 'em did.

/trained that mutt using old patent leather shoes


No thanks, I'm Catholic, works for me. Wards off JW's and Mormons.
 
2013-11-16 04:12:30 PM  
These people leaving brochures on your door or gates are helping burglars case your home.

If you aren't home for more than a day, the brochures stay where they are, telling burglars no one is home.
 
2013-11-16 04:19:07 PM  

TheOmni: I've only had JW show up a couple of times, but there wasn't any real proselytizing. It was mostly "Here's an invitation to our church to celebrate some sort of Jesus thing, we'd like it if you came" and I took the flier and they left and I threw it out. That's about it.


Exactly. I've had JWs, Mormons, and LDS all come to my door at one point or another. I just say "No thanks" and at the most they asked me to take their flyer before thanking me for my time and leaving.

I really don't understand why so many people think they have to be assholes just because someone "religious" dared knock on their door.
 
2013-11-16 04:33:52 PM  

Nadie_AZ: I was expecting something far worse.

How sad. Also, I wonder if language was a barrier. She was asking if he was white korean, I think.


She was asking if his wife was Korean, which is why he said he didn't have a wife, that he had a husband and that he was gay.

/I get someone by every three or four months, they ask if they can give me something to read, I say "no thank you" and close the door. No proselytizing, they just say okay and leave..
 
2013-11-16 04:41:23 PM  

Pokey.Clyde: TheOmni: I've only had JW show up a couple of times, but there wasn't any real proselytizing. It was mostly "Here's an invitation to our church to celebrate some sort of Jesus thing, we'd like it if you came" and I took the flier and they left and I threw it out. That's about it.

Exactly. I've had JWs, Mormons, and LDS all come to my door at one point or another. I just say "No thanks" and at the most they asked me to take their flyer before thanking me for my time and leaving.

I really don't understand why so many people think they have to be assholes just because someone "religious" dared knock on their door.


I've said "no thanks" to plenty of doorbell ringers and had them thank me for my time and leave, but I've also had people both at my door and approaching me on a college campus who not only didn't stop after "no thanks," "I'm an atheist," and "please go away," but needed a firm, "fark off" before they'd stop trying.
 
2013-11-16 04:56:08 PM  
imageshack.us
 
2013-11-16 05:11:15 PM  
Gay men are rocking out to The Tubes' "She's a Beauty"?

/NTTAWTT
 
2013-11-16 05:21:26 PM  
Confession time: I was a JW as a teen. I did my share of door-to-door walking.

Yeah, really, nothing's going to stop them as a whole, but you may freak out them individually.

Hint: Like Scientology and their aversion to "SPs" and to avoid them like the plague, they are taught to avoid ex-JWs. So, just say you used to be JW and would like to talk about how you got out of the cult and they won't be able to run fast enough away from you.
 
2013-11-16 05:48:54 PM  
I live about 10 minutes walk from The Watchtower. That's the Jehovah's Witnesses' world headquarters.  I get about 2-3 visits from them per week.  All I say is "I'm not interested", and they wish me a good day while walking away.  No need to be rude.
 
2013-11-16 05:52:57 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: /The answer in the vid is: I'm gay.


YES!

*fistpump*

/dnrtfa
 
2013-11-16 05:55:42 PM  
"Not Interested" works for me.
 
2013-11-16 05:57:48 PM  

aimtastic: When I've told proselytizers of various stripes that I'm an atheist I've often found that they take it as a super fun challenge or think that I'm atheist because I've just not gotten the right sales pitch yet.


This is what I have found with the ladies who come by infrequently. I have invited them in a few times for conversation, simply because I have no problem with this form of proselytizing and all of them are quite polite, understanding when I say I have a significant amount of work to do or similar and am unable to talk.

FloydA: They come by here every so often.  I always say "Sorry, I'm an atheist, but thanks for your concern."  They always leave, but somehow they forget or think I've changed my mind and they come back a few weeks or months later.


This is the other side of this where no matter our conversations and my being quite upfront about the nonexistence of a deity, nondivinity of Jesus, and overall poor moral or ethical or basic written quality of the Bible, the ladies always try to explain to me as though I am a Christian. I am polite, never belittling the arguments or beliefs, but I feel as though the effort is into making God and Jesus into such a nice fellow I would have to accept them as my savior rather than the whole lack of existence of the Biblical characters.
 
2013-11-16 05:58:41 PM  
I've never had a religious nut come to pester me at home, but I once had some idiot come around knocking on the doors of every apartment in my complex . . . to ask us to vote his girlfriend onto some TV talent show. One look from me after he mentioned the shiatty show was enough to send him running.
 
2013-11-16 06:00:31 PM  
We try to be polite to them. I guess it's because we believe they are being used and/or exploited by their own church. So, I try not to give JWs a bunch of lip.

We don't get too much of that here in CR. But, what we do get are these 119 - Test Everything people. They're rather strange rangers and very persistent.
 
2013-11-16 06:05:02 PM  
Wait, gay people dont have to deal with door to door religious people?

Really?


WHY THE fark IS THIS NOT ON A FLYER SOMEWHERE WITH A NUMBER WHERE PEOPLE CAN SIGN UP TO BE GAY!?!?!!?

/gay people, your problem is marketing.
 
2013-11-16 06:09:16 PM  
I just had one of those stupid brochures on my door this morning.  getting a kick.
/why yes i'd like to live forever, tell me how durrrrrr!
//yes, take my monies
///slashies!
 
2013-11-16 06:09:27 PM  
Why does anyone think that those two women were Jehovah's Witnesses?
 
2013-11-16 06:15:16 PM  
I let a JW in once, sat down with him in the living room and said, "So, what is it you wish to talk about?"  and he said, "You know, I have no idea, I've never gotten this far before."

/B-dum-tish
 
2013-11-16 06:17:23 PM  
Show up at the door dressed like this, and no words are required:

img2u.info
 
2013-11-16 06:20:01 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: "No thanks" and politely closing the door has worked in the past for me. Some people just want to be passive-aggressive, I guess.


THIS^^

I used to send them to my uncle's house (who lived down the street) to ask for his wife (by name).
 
2013-11-16 06:21:10 PM  

timujin: Nadie_AZ: I was expecting something far worse.

How sad. Also, I wonder if language was a barrier. She was asking if he was white korean, I think.

She was asking if his wife was Korean, which is why he said he didn't have a wife, that he had a husband and that he was gay.

/I get someone by every three or four months, they ask if they can give me something to read, I say "no thank you" and close the door. No proselytizing, they just say okay and leave..


Yeah, I was expecting someone pushy. And the language barrier might have made for an interesting conversation.

Oh well.
 
2013-11-16 06:29:13 PM  

swaniefrmreddeer: I always enjoyed debating the merits of the bible with the JW's, but they don't come and visit me anymore. The last time I made the two ladies cry because I pointed out contradictions and the pure evil in the bible.



CSB: One day a Jehova's Witness came to my door with his sales pitch and I engaged him in debate. I didn't really have anything going on that morning, so we really went at it for around 2 1/2 hours. The next week he came back to my house and told me that I had really given him a lot to think about, and he'd decided to leave the church and be atheist. He thanked me for helping lead him there, and left.

I'm not sure there's anything I've ever done that I'm prouder of than that.
 
2013-11-16 06:39:08 PM  
Had two women come to the door a couple of weeks ago asking if I'd read the bible.  Told 'em I felt bad for that one guy and that the ending sucked, then shut the door.
 
2013-11-16 06:41:59 PM  

BenJammin: "Not Interested" works for me.


The Maine version is "I'm all set"
 
2013-11-16 06:56:14 PM  
my I'm gay story (I'm not NTTAWWT),
On early Sunday morning I was going to my military credit union ATM. there was one other car going through the parking lot going to the same ATM. I cut across a few aisles as there were no cars that early. After I stopped this woman comes raging up to my window yelling that I was driving like a mad man. She started writing down my base ID sticker and was going to find my command and report me to my CO (I was in the reserves at the time so good luck with that lady). I just looked at and told her it was my boyfriends car. The look on her face as she tried to process this was priceless. I just got my money and drove away smugly. (yes I was driving like a bit of a douche but it was so much fun to see the look on her face.

/CSB
 
2013-11-16 06:57:28 PM  

mongbiohazard: swaniefrmreddeer: I always enjoyed debating the merits of the bible with the JW's, but they don't come and visit me anymore. The last time I made the two ladies cry because I pointed out contradictions and the pure evil in the bible.


CSB: One day a Jehova's Witness came to my door with his sales pitch and I engaged him in debate. I didn't really have anything going on that morning, so we really went at it for around 2 1/2 hours. The next week he came back to my house and told me that I had really given him a lot to think about, and he'd decided to leave the church and be atheist. He thanked me for helping lead him there, and left.

I'm not sure there's anything I've ever done that I'm prouder of than that.


i'm skeptical only because this requires a religious person to heed logic and reason in a very short amount of time.
 
2013-11-16 07:00:40 PM  
"Talk about Jesus?  I dunno, I'm pretty high right now."
 
2013-11-16 07:04:43 PM  
I'm shunned.

/YMMV
 
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