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(Deadspin)   Falcons fullback Jason Snelling pulled over for lane drifting, littering and...littering and...littering and   (deadspin.com) divider line 44
    More: Dumbass, Jason Snelling, Atlanta, Falcons fullback, Lincoln Navigator, fullback  
•       •       •

2034 clicks; posted to Sports » on 16 Nov 2013 at 5:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-16 07:29:03 AM  
I'm freaking out, man!

You ARE freaking out...MAN.
 
2013-11-16 07:45:34 AM  
No comment on the snozberries.
 
2013-11-16 07:49:37 AM  
...littering aaaaaannndd.......
 
2013-11-16 08:06:03 AM  
Mother of God
 
2013-11-16 08:23:05 AM  
Just forfeit the season already. Seriously.
 
2013-11-16 08:33:29 AM  
www.movieposter.com

He got the idea from this classic 70s film.
 
2013-11-16 08:43:58 AM  

Jay CiR: ...littering aaaaaannndd.......


...smoking the reefer.
 
2013-11-16 08:51:48 AM  
he couldn't pull over any further
 
2013-11-16 08:54:08 AM  
Shenanigans.
 
2013-11-16 09:06:03 AM  
Doing 63 in a 65 zone while going across the border for poutine?
 
2013-11-16 09:09:21 AM  
Meow what's going on here?
 
2013-11-16 09:10:40 AM  

PainInTheASP: No comment on the snozberries.


You know how I know there's no justice in the world? The snozzberries guy is married to Christina Hendricks.

/Christina Hendricks thread?
 
2013-11-16 09:17:31 AM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: PainInTheASP: No comment on the snozberries.

You know how I know there's no justice in the world? The snozzberries guy is married to Christina Hendricks.

/Christina Hendricks thread?


Yeah, depressing.  But you could look at it like this, somewhere in this world there is a totally hot rich chick that really digs guys like m...er, that guy.
 
2013-11-16 09:27:53 AM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: PainInTheASP: No comment on the snozberries.

You know how I know there's no justice in the world? The snozzberries guy is married to Christina Hendricks.

/Christina Hendricks thread?


NO YOU FOOL! Don't you see? Her being married to the snozzberries guy means there's hope for the rest of us losers to some day marry some way out of our league chick with gigantic...paychecks.
 
2013-11-16 09:29:42 AM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: The snozzberries guy is married to Christina Hendricks.


Either he has the tongue of Gene Simmons or is related to Sarah Jessica Parker.
 
2013-11-16 09:33:48 AM  

EngineerAU: Adolf Oliver Nipples: The snozzberries guy is married to Christina Hendricks.

Either he has the tongue of Gene Simmons or is related to Sarah Jessica Parker.


I'm going with vibrating cock piercing
 
2013-11-16 09:41:06 AM  
Are they going to make him sit on the Group W bench?
 
2013-11-16 09:45:48 AM  

aevorea: Meow what's going on here?


Are you saying meow?
 
2013-11-16 09:46:15 AM  

bulldg4life: Just forfeit the season already. Seriously.


No! Play it out. I am enjoying this way too much.
 
2013-11-16 09:50:26 AM  
* still not Tampa
 
2013-11-16 09:55:11 AM  

Lost Thought 00: * still not Tampa


True. But no one picked Tampa as the prohibitive favorite to win the NFC South and as a sure-fire Super Bowl contender.
 
2013-11-16 10:02:29 AM  

Nabb1: bulldg4life: Just forfeit the season already. Seriously.

No! Play it out. I am enjoying this way too much.


Let them play! Let them play!
 
2013-11-16 10:06:26 AM  

Nabb1: Lost Thought 00: * still not Tampa

True. But no one picked Tampa as the prohibitive favorite to win the NFC South and as a sure-fire Super Bowl contender.


Well, yeah. Mike Smith is a goner, whether he deserves the blame or not.
 
2013-11-16 10:08:08 AM  
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0PKtGnyGuKM

Still the best intro to a movie ever
 
2013-11-16 10:14:28 AM  
Rise Up! with weed
 
2013-11-16 10:51:25 AM  
Nabb1: Lost Thought 00: * still not Tampa

True. But no one picked Tampa as the prohibitive favorite to win the NFC South and as a sure-fire Super Bowl contender.


Bucs/Atlanta sunday Sunday SUNDAY.

This is all a plot by Atlanta to make sure the Bucs don't get the number one pick.
 
2013-11-16 10:54:13 AM  

skinink: Shenanigans.


I swear to god I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says shenanigans.
 
2013-11-16 10:58:43 AM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-11-16 10:59:25 AM  

wwSpoon: skinink: Shenanigans.

I swear to god I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says shenanigans.


"Hey Farva, what's that place you like to eat at with the mozzarella sticks and all the goofy shiat on the walls?"
 
2013-11-16 11:06:40 AM  
Who wants a mustache ride?!?
 
2013-11-16 11:08:27 AM  
I cannot afford another speeding ticket on mein Porsche.
 
2013-11-16 11:08:46 AM  
"Snelling allegedly told the cop he had been smoking weed earlier that night, when he had been visiting a friend. He also allegedly indicated there was a little bit of marijuana in a grinder in the vehicle's console."

No no no no no no. Repeat after me.

"I don't smoke marijuana, officer."

"No, there's no marijuana in the vehicle."

"No, I do not give you permission to search my vehicle."
 
2013-11-16 11:54:38 AM  

Snapper Carr: "Snelling allegedly told the cop he had been smoking weed earlier that night, when he had been visiting a friend. He also allegedly indicated there was a little bit of marijuana in a grinder in the vehicle's console."

No no no no no no. Repeat after me.

"I don't smoke marijuana, officer."

"No, there's no marijuana in the vehicle."

"No, I do not give you permission to search my vehicle."


Thats plan B

Plan A is Dont drive around in possession of marijuana and drug related materials, expired or no driver's license, failing to maintain lane, without insurance, improperly using a dealer license plate with no registration in the car. At 3:30 AM. In a car that reeks of weed.
 
2013-11-16 11:56:54 AM  

Lost Thought 00: Nabb1: Lost Thought 00: * still not Tampa

True. But no one picked Tampa as the prohibitive favorite to win the NFC South and as a sure-fire Super Bowl contender.

Well, yeah. Mike Smith is a goner, whether he deserves the blame or not.


The GM deserves the blame, anyone who could honestly go into this season saying hes confident in their O and D line situation seriously needs to never make a football decision in their lives.

The secondary is what shocked me, just farking horrendous.

Just go ahead and hire gruden Arthur, even if I hate him he at least has balls.
 
2013-11-16 12:13:01 PM  

Serious Black: aevorea: Meow what's going on here?

Are you saying meow?


Do I look like a cat to you boy?

Do you see me jumping around all nimbly bimbly?

DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE??
 
2013-11-16 12:25:08 PM  

Jay CiR: ...littering aaaaaannndd.......


And creating a nuisance.
 
2013-11-16 12:28:24 PM  

skinink: Shenanigans.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-16 12:57:20 PM  
A very wise addict gave me some advice, and it rings true today. He told me, break one law at a time. Sooo... if you're holding weed, that is the only law you want to break. You don't jaywalk while carrying, you don't shoplift, and don't drive drunk. Not speeding should be a given, having working car lights, and a valid DL should be standard.

While carrying, I check to make sure the vehicle I'm rolling in is completely lights working legal and if someone other than I is driving, I'll question them about their own legal status.

/thanks and praises for legal weed in Washington.
 
2013-11-16 01:31:16 PM  

missiv: A very wise addict gave me some advice, and it rings true today. He told me, break one law at a time. Sooo... if you're holding weed, that is the only law you want to break. You don't jaywalk while carrying, you don't shoplift, and don't drive drunk. Not speeding should be a given, having working car lights, and a valid DL should be standard.

While carrying, I check to make sure the vehicle I'm rolling in is completely lights working legal and if someone other than I is driving, I'll question them about their own legal status.

^THIS

... is required listening for all of my nephews and nieces.

 
2013-11-16 03:00:54 PM  

missiv: A very wise addict gave me some advice, and it rings true today. He told me, break one law at a time. Sooo... if you're holding weed, that is the only law you want to break. You don't jaywalk while carrying, you don't shoplift, and don't drive drunk. Not speeding should be a given, having working car lights, and a valid DL should be standard.

While carrying, I check to make sure the vehicle I'm rolling in is completely lights working legal and if someone other than I is driving, I'll question them about their own legal status.

/thanks and praises for legal weed in Washington.


If he was a little more wise, he would have told you to break zero laws at a time. That's worked well for me at least.
 
2013-11-16 05:21:35 PM  

missiv: A very wise addict gave me some advice, and it rings true today. He told me, break one law at a time. Sooo... if you're holding weed, that is the only law you want to break. You don't jaywalk while carrying, you don't shoplift, and don't drive drunk. Not speeding should be a given, having working car lights, and a valid DL should be standard.

While carrying, I check to make sure the vehicle I'm rolling in is completely lights working legal and if someone other than I is driving, I'll question them about their own legal status.

/thanks and praises for legal weed in Washington.


It's good advice. I've had a few cops give me a pass for only breaking one law (speeding, headlight out, smoking pot on the beach) because they were apparently fishing for bigger issues.
 
2013-11-16 05:32:57 PM  

skrame: missiv: A very wise addict gave me some advice, and it rings true today. He told me, break one law at a time. Sooo... if you're holding weed, that is the only law you want to break. You don't jaywalk while carrying, you don't shoplift, and don't drive drunk. Not speeding should be a given, having working car lights, and a valid DL should be standard.

While carrying, I check to make sure the vehicle I'm rolling in is completely lights working legal and if someone other than I is driving, I'll question them about their own legal status.

/thanks and praises for legal weed in Washington.

If he was a little more wise, he would have told you to break zero laws at a time. That's worked well for me at least.


Sounds like you have led a very full and rich life.
 
2013-11-16 06:39:36 PM  
They think I'm Mexican.

You're not?
 
2013-11-16 08:16:42 PM  
C'mon, man! You're not supposed to get wrecked until after you lose to Tampa Bay this Sunday.
 
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