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(The Duffel Blog)   I'm pretty sure every veteran on Fark will back me up and say, "yes, this is exactly what would happen if the military was issued light sabers"   (duffelblog.com) divider line 21
    More: Satire, Prisoner abuse, military  
•       •       •

16763 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2013 at 4:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-11-16 04:47:22 AM  
2 votes:
I disagree, subby. They would probably say, "...if the military WERE issued light sabers".
2013-11-15 10:46:18 PM  
2 votes:
These guys give The Onion a run for its money. ;)
2013-11-15 10:38:23 PM  
2 votes:
www.galacticbinder.com

I'd picture this, with more dismemberment.
2013-11-16 01:56:16 PM  
1 votes:

Combustion: Gleeman: Gonz: They forgot the random private who, within a half-hour of being issued his lightsaber, would have managed to break it.

If you want to learn an item's MTBF, just give it to a junior sailor. They can break anything in 60 minutes or less, guaranteed.

/sailor proof?
//no such thing

I fetched the chief 6 foot of water-line without breaking it!


Sure, but you probably got relative bearing grease all over it first.

/not veteran, but a navy brat
2013-11-16 11:46:39 AM  
1 votes:

Richard C Stanford: Pribar: And yes there is always one in every company...

The guy in his undies just woke up due to a taliban attack. So, I don't think it's really fair to call him an idiot. That said, it does look funny as hell.


I know the backstory but think of it this way, you are in a combat zone, on a forward base at that, knowing that at any time day or night you could be attacked:
1-why would you wear, even to rack out, something that will draw the eye, and thus the fire, of anyone within a 2 mile radius
2-would you really want THAT to be the last thing you ever wore?
2013-11-16 10:48:06 AM  
1 votes:
Personally I'd rather have a Zat'nik'tel.
2013-11-16 10:12:45 AM  
1 votes:
Completely believable. One of the worst physical injuries my oldest son got while playing Doc for the Marines was a broken thumb while "play" fighting with some jarhead. Horsing around is probably the main cause of non-combat related injuries.
2013-11-16 09:47:01 AM  
1 votes:

Maul555: WittyReference: Had an instructor put it this way... "One of you could be locked in a padded cell, naked with a bowling ball. Half an hour later the bowling ball would be broken into two pieces, one of which would be missing."

I am confused....


I had a Drill Sergeant tell me the same little joke.

It's remarking on the incredible incompetence of new privates (as in still in Basic or only recently graduated) to find ways to break ANYTHING, even things that are supposed to be unbreakable. . .then somehow they'll even manage to lose the parts to what they broke to make it harder to fix.

No matter how toughened and hardened, how idiot-proof, simplified and ruggedized you make something, they'll still find ways to break it.
2013-11-16 08:28:41 AM  
1 votes:
At my unit, there is an NCO who keeps a replica of a thermal detonator on his desk.

Some guys have dummy grenades, he kept a thermal detonator.  Most people didn't get it.  They thought it was a fancy paperweight, or some kind of art sculpture, or some weird electronic game, or just an unrecognizable knickknack.

I was the first person to identify it as what it was.  I told him I'd see his thermal detonator and raise him a lightsaber.  Considered bringing in my replica lightsaber.   Thought better of it.

Yes. . .if they made real, working lightsabers and issued them to the troops it would end an awful lot like that.
2013-11-16 08:23:51 AM  
1 votes:
Had an instructor put it this way... "One of you could be locked in a padded cell, naked with a bowling ball. Half an hour later the bowling ball would be broken into two pieces, one of which would be missing."
2013-11-16 08:16:18 AM  
1 votes:
They forgot the random private who, within a half-hour of being issued his lightsaber, would have managed to break it.
2013-11-16 08:07:12 AM  
1 votes:

starsrift: Okay, YOU try controlling a weapon with no weight, air resistance, heat, or other way to tell just where the fark it is in spatial relation to yourself, without the Force, subby.


Heck, the first thing Luke does when handed it is to point it directly at his eyeball
2013-11-16 06:34:35 AM  
1 votes:

kgloverfl: Weatherkiss: This wouldn't happen if they were in the Marine Core.

Know how I know you're not a Marine?


Know how I know you're new here?
2013-11-16 06:33:36 AM  
1 votes:

HindiDiscoMonster: FatherChaos: How about the President?

[img.fark.net image 500x362]

Wait... aren't sith supposed to have colors like red or something?


No, that`s the bad guys. You know, the red side.
2013-11-16 06:28:14 AM  
1 votes:
They took our bayonets away in Bosnia. Swear to Effin' God. Because dudes were screwing around and cutting themselves.
2013-11-16 05:27:07 AM  
1 votes:

phrawgh: kgloverfl: Weatherkiss: This wouldn't happen if they were in the Marine Core.

Know how I know you're not a Marine?

Don't be funning with the Marine Corpse.


Seems they'll let anyone inside the Marine Corpse these days.

justalittlefurther.com
2013-11-16 05:06:18 AM  
1 votes:

HindiDiscoMonster: FatherChaos: How about the President?

[img.fark.net image 500x362]

Wait... aren't sith supposed to have colors like red or something?


farm3.staticflickr.com
2013-11-16 05:03:47 AM  
1 votes:

Weatherkiss: This wouldn't happen if they were in the Marine Core.


Know how I know you're not a Marine?
2013-11-16 04:55:27 AM  
1 votes:
I wish they had played it a bit straighter. "retarded monkey" comments make the satire less biting.
2013-11-15 09:56:42 PM  
1 votes:
I'm fairly certain my entire company would have been dead or wounded within three hours of those being issued.
2013-11-15 09:51:33 PM  
1 votes:
I'm surprised they issue real bullets and not blanks to most people.
 
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