If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Gwynneth Paltrow releases her list of Christmas gift suggestions. Choices include a scented candle for $165, the Hermes poker set for $100, and a $50 bottle of olive oil. For people you really care about, check out the $5800 set of kitchen tools   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 86
    More: Dumbass, Gwyneth Paltrow, L.L. Bean, kitchen tools, Liv Tyler, playing cards, olive oil  
•       •       •

2681 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 15 Nov 2013 at 4:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-11-15 02:32:58 PM  
What a Hermes poker set might look like.
www.public.iastate.edu
 
2013-11-15 02:33:17 PM  
You don't buy Hermes playing cards. They just throw that in the bag after you've spent enough money there.
 
2013-11-15 02:40:53 PM  

FishyFred: You don't buy Hermes playing cards. They just throw that in the bag after you've spent enough money there.


Was about to say.... that isn't a "Poker Set" (which would suggest chips and a dealer button at least).... it is 2 decks of playing cards.... for $100....
 
2013-11-15 02:49:20 PM  
i.huffpost.com

Friend: One time, I thought I banged E.T. But it was just an old Chinese man on a bike. I was the one phoning home. Ask for a brand new Herman's!

Brookie: I fell off a really steep boner, and banged my head. I had to keep a bag of ice on my head for a week. I wish it was a Herman's bag!

Friend: One time I got banged through a glass ceiling. I changed EVERYTHING for women. Turns out I'm a feminist. Thanks, Herman's!

Brookie: One of my eyes doesn't work. It got sucked out by a BUTT! But... I don't need two eyes to see the luxury of Herman's!
 
2013-11-15 02:54:23 PM  
or you could just have hand-printed greeting cards made with a portrait of Marie Antoinette on the front holding a slice of cake
 
2013-11-15 03:02:11 PM  

Sybarite: [i.huffpost.com image 850x546]

Friend: One time, I thought I banged E.T. But it was just an old Chinese man on a bike. I was the one phoning home. Ask for a brand new Herman's!

Brookie: I fell off a really steep boner, and banged my head. I had to keep a bag of ice on my head for a week. I wish it was a Herman's bag!

Friend: One time I got banged through a glass ceiling. I changed EVERYTHING for women. Turns out I'm a feminist. Thanks, Herman's!

Brookie: One of my eyes doesn't work. It got sucked out by a BUTT! But... I don't need two eyes to see the luxury of Herman's!


Did somebody say "How's it hangin'"?
 
2013-11-15 03:08:13 PM  

dletter: FishyFred: You don't buy Hermes playing cards. They just throw that in the bag after you've spent enough money there.

Was about to say.... that isn't a "Poker Set" (which would suggest chips and a dealer button at least).... it is 2 decks of playing cards.... for $100....


At least you get something from that, but a $165 candle?  That's one tiny step from literally lighting your money on fire.
 
2013-11-15 03:12:28 PM  
Well we're obviously aren't her target audience. She probably feels put upon that her character in Iron Man has to slum it with the likes of Tony Stark.  The woman named her kid "Apple", ffs. Who cares what she has to say?

Whoa, hold up there, John Doe, she's not that obnoxious.

content6.flixster.com
 
2013-11-15 03:40:02 PM  
Oh boy, another out of touch celeb!
 
2013-11-15 04:03:14 PM  
[newsflash] Rich people give expensive presents
 
2013-11-15 04:17:53 PM  

basemetal: Oh boy, another out of touch celeb!


She's not just any out-of-touch celeb.  She's the Platonic ideal out-of-touch celeb.  All other such celebs are just Gwyneth's shadows, cast on a cave wall by a flickering fire.
 
2013-11-15 04:18:08 PM  
I'd never buy any of her goop.
 
2013-11-15 04:18:10 PM  
she is such a coont, but i'd do her in an instant if given the chance
 
2013-11-15 04:25:39 PM  
$5800 on kitchen tools, and yet no vacuum sealer and water bath? WTF?
 
2013-11-15 04:25:43 PM  

dletter: FishyFred: You don't buy Hermes playing cards. They just throw that in the bag after you've spent enough money there.

Was about to say.... that isn't a "Poker Set" (which would suggest chips and a dealer button at least).... it is 2 decks of playing cards.... for $100....


I was actually thinking fireplace poker set and thought 100 bucks for a decent set wasn't that bad. I should have known better.
 
2013-11-15 04:30:46 PM  
Gwynneth can shove beeswax and curry orbs (Hermes, $650.00) up her anus and have coitus with a mountain gorilla.
 
2013-11-15 04:31:25 PM  
I wish she would just get slapped in the face and shook until she realizes what a pretentious twat she is.
 
2013-11-15 04:34:25 PM  
Blah blah blah born on third, thinks she hit a triple. Blah blah. I don't care I'd still tongue punch her fartbox.
 
2013-11-15 04:34:47 PM  

Mitch Taylor's Bro: What a Hermes poker set might look like.
[www.public.iastate.edu image 352x240]


came here for futurama reference

/leaving satisfied
 
2013-11-15 04:35:43 PM  

Mugato: Well we're obviously aren't her target audience. She probably feels put upon that her character in Iron Man has to slum it with the likes of Tony Stark.  The woman named her kid "Apple", ffs. Who cares what she has to say?

Whoa, hold up there, John Doe, she's not that obnoxious.

[content6.flixster.com image 462x260]


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
2013-11-15 04:36:25 PM  
As long as there's a single person who pays attention to her, she isn't the one who is stupid and out of touch.
 
2013-11-15 04:46:47 PM  

Mr. Cat Poop: dletter: FishyFred: You don't buy Hermes playing cards. They just throw that in the bag after you've spent enough money there.

Was about to say.... that isn't a "Poker Set" (which would suggest chips and a dealer button at least).... it is 2 decks of playing cards.... for $100....

I was actually thinking fireplace poker set and thought 100 bucks for a decent set wasn't that bad. I should have known better.


LOL, a Hermes Fireplace Poker set?   Probably minimum $2,000
 
2013-11-15 04:54:21 PM  
You guys need to put this into perspective.  A typical American household has an annual income 50k.  Gwynneth Paltrow, by herself, might pull in 5 million a year.  And her husband is a founding member of Coldplay,  I have no idea how much he makes....but it's a lot.  It's really hard for regular people to even fathom how much money that is.  Let's be extra, extra conservative and say, together, they have 5 million coming in.

That is 100 times more than 50k.  *ONE HUNDRED* times.

So take every price on that sheet, and divide it by one hundred.

$650 for beeswax?  To them, it's the same as someone like me spending $6.50 on a gift.  Both are just as trivial, both are just pointless gestures of good will.  To a person with annual salary 100x smaller than mine (some guy in a dirt hut somewhere....he'd think my gift is just as outrageous as most of you all think of Gwynneth Paltrow's list).

$5,800 for kitchen knives???  OUTRAGEOUS!
But that's like me dropping $58 on a set of knives for my Grandmother.  Suddenly, it's not a big deal.

According to the internet, her net worth is 140 million.
The median net worth for an American is 260k.

So yeah, her list is totally reasonable.
 
2013-11-15 05:06:23 PM  
For that kinda money she better deliver it to my home and do unspeakable things to me till my penis falls off
 
2013-11-15 05:06:47 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: You guys need to put this into perspective.  A typical American household has an annual income 50k.  Gwynneth Paltrow, by herself, might pull in 5 million a year.  And her husband is a founding member of Coldplay,  I have no idea how much he makes....but it's a lot.  It's really hard for regular people to even fathom how much money that is.  Let's be extra, extra conservative and say, together, they have 5 million coming in.

That is 100 times more than 50k.  *ONE HUNDRED* times.

So take every price on that sheet, and divide it by one hundred.

$650 for beeswax?  To them, it's the same as someone like me spending $6.50 on a gift.  Both are just as trivial, both are just pointless gestures of good will.  To a person with annual salary 100x smaller than mine (some guy in a dirt hut somewhere....he'd think my gift is just as outrageous as most of you all think of Gwynneth Paltrow's list).

$5,800 for kitchen knives???  OUTRAGEOUS!
But that's like me dropping $58 on a set of knives for my Grandmother.  Suddenly, it's not a big deal.

According to the internet, her net worth is 140 million.
The median net worth for an American is 260k.

So yeah, her list is totally reasonable.


All well and good, but, its still the same "money".... are the tools in the  $5,800 kitchen set really 100x better than the $58 set?    If so, I guess it is worth it... if not, it is just people charging high prices because rich people want to buy overpriced things.   But, rich people pay $20 million for paintings, so, there you go.

I mean, here is the Kitchen set:   http://www.thekitchn.com/the-fanciest-and-most-absurdly-expensive-kit c hen-set-ever-193736

I guess to an extent you are paying for the "artistry" of the tools, and the name (if Malle W Trousseau has meaning to you).   But, from a functional standpoint, I can't imagine they are any better, higher "quality" than a set of all that for somewhere in the $500-1000 range.
 
2013-11-15 05:07:43 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: According to the internet, her net worth is 140 million.


Which is really lower class among the super-rich hedge fund set. Seriously.

/I could live happily ever after with 1/10th that amount.
 
2013-11-15 05:08:26 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: You guys need to put this into perspective.  . . . take every price on that sheet, and divide it by one hundred.

So yeah, her list is totally reasonable.


So when I do manage to somehow trick her into having sex with me, it'll seem to her like I have a three hundred-inch penis? Gwinnie, call me!
 
2013-11-15 05:08:56 PM  

dletter: All well and good, but, its still the same "money".... are the tools in the $5,800 kitchen set really 100x better than the $58 set? If so, I guess it is worth it... if not, it is just people charging high prices because rich people want to buy overpriced things. But, rich people pay $20 million for paintings, so, there you go.


Thorstein Veblen nods knowingly.
 
2013-11-15 05:10:55 PM  

Mugato: Well we're obviously aren't her target audience. She probably feels put upon that her character in Iron Man has to slum it with the likes of Tony Stark.  The woman named her kid "Apple", ffs. Who cares what she has to say?

Whoa, hold up there, John Doe, she's not that obnoxious.

[content6.flixster.com image 462x260]


I'm surprised she didn't name her son Eggplant

Or better yet, Microsoft, just to keep with the theme
 
2013-11-15 05:18:24 PM  
So she basically used her Amazon Wish List as a Christmas card?
 
2013-11-15 05:20:54 PM  
I'd be more impressed with the oil choice if it wasn't being sold in a farking clear bottle... Light isn't exactly olive oil's friend when it comes to taste.
 
2013-11-15 05:24:42 PM  
I guess I don't really understand the demographic she's going for. Middle class housewives can't afford this stuff (but maybe can find cheaper knockoffs?), rich people presumably have their own designers and toy-buyers and decorators?
 
2013-11-15 05:29:55 PM  
scriptshadow.net

WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!?
 
2013-11-15 05:32:40 PM  

Mugato: The woman named her kid "Apple", ffs.


Frank Zappa would like to have a word with you
 
2013-11-15 05:55:48 PM  
i560.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-15 06:19:53 PM  

fusillade762: [scriptshadow.net image 260x260]

WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!?


NSFW language
 
2013-11-15 06:22:47 PM  

dletter: All well and good, but, its still the same "money".... are the tools in the $5,800 kitchen set really 100x better than the $58 set? If so, I guess it is worth it... if not, it is just people charging high prices because rich people want to buy overpriced things. But, rich people pay $20 million for paintings, so, there you go.


I think luxury item pricing isn't linear,  more logarithmic.

The that set of knives is 10 times better than the $58 set of knives, and if luxury is logarithmic, that'd be a 100x price increase.

Works with cars - A $1,000,000 car isn't ~50 times better than that $25,000  Toyota, probably  more like 5 times better, but that's still a significant improvement.
 
2013-11-15 06:23:07 PM  
Third, triple, etc.
 
2013-11-15 06:27:09 PM  
Any serious cook spends all of their money on one really farking awesome knife, not a set.
 
2013-11-15 06:28:20 PM  

Mitch Taylor's Bro: What a Hermes poker set might look like.


Great poker of......El Salva....der?
 
2013-11-15 06:30:30 PM  
She makes lacking self-awareness an art form.
 
2013-11-15 06:42:59 PM  

dletter: I guess to an extent you are paying for the "artistry" of the tools, and the name (if Malle W Trousseau has meaning to you).   But, from a functional standpoint, I can't imagine they are any better, higher "quality" than a set of all that for somewhere in the $500-1000 range.


Yes, but why should she give a shiat? In relative terms, the difference in price means nothing to her. The usefulness of the tools means nothing to her. The people she's buying those tools for aren't planning on using them, anyway. They're for show.

The guy who tried to put it in relative terms was on the right track, but missed marginal utility. $58 is an amount of money that somewhat matters to me. $5800 has no significance at all to Gwyneth Paltrow's life. It affects a number in an account somewhere that already contains more money than she will spend in her entire lifetime. She made more having her assistant tell idiots to buy those knives than the knives cost.

Arguing with this article as if it is meant to give you good advice on gift-giving is almost as naive as actually taking its advice on gift-giving.
 
2013-11-15 07:03:53 PM  
When people say they don't understand the Paltrow hate I don't know how they miss stuff like this.
 
2013-11-15 07:27:30 PM  
The price range is extreme, but the real problem with her list is that all these gifts are ultimately the same kind of generic crap you buy for people you don't know or care much about. Try to grasp this, Gwyneth: it's the thought that counts, so no matter how inflated the cost is, your presents still aren't worth squat. The only way they're bringing any joy is if you had the common sense to include the receipt.
 
2013-11-15 07:27:44 PM  
www.niklassmith.com

Fark_Guy_Rob: You guys need to put this into perspective


allthingsuf.com
 
2013-11-15 07:53:11 PM  

fusillade762: [scriptshadow.net image 260x260]

WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!?


Pain is in the box.
 
2013-11-15 07:54:11 PM  

Random Internet Persona: When people say they don't understand the Paltrow hate I don't know how they miss stuff like this.


She really does mean well, you know. She just.....well,............I don't know.
 
2013-11-15 08:02:06 PM  

timujin: dletter: FishyFred: You don't buy Hermes playing cards. They just throw that in the bag after you've spent enough money there.

Was about to say.... that isn't a "Poker Set" (which would suggest chips and a dealer button at least).... it is 2 decks of playing cards.... for $100....

At least you get something from that, but a $165 candle?  That's one tiny step from literally lighting your money on fire.


it'd probably be more entertaining to roll up 16 $10 bills, dip them in wax and set fire to it.
 
2013-11-15 08:09:32 PM  

Sliding Carp: fusillade762: [scriptshadow.net image 260x260]

WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!?

Pain is in the box.


You're thinking of this box

www.duneinfo.com
 
2013-11-15 08:09:54 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: You guys need to put this into perspective.  A typical American household has an annual income 50k.  Gwynneth Paltrow, by herself, might pull in 5 million a year.  And her husband is a founding member of Coldplay,  I have no idea how much he makes....but it's a lot.  It's really hard for regular people to even fathom how much money that is.  Let's be extra, extra conservative and say, together, they have 5 million coming in.


Pretty much this. When you're sitting on (likely) tens of millions in savings in the bank that earns a few million on it's own each year and can quickly scratch up another few million for a few months work or a product endorsement it really doesn't matter if you're spending $10 or $1000 on a gift - either way it's a trivial amount of money for you.

Reading this list - it doesn't come across as "affordable gifts for trailer park tenants" but more "fancy or cool gifts for rush people who can't be bothered working out what to get all their relatives this year".

I have a hard time caring - after their basic and not-so-basic needs are met these folks have the choice of either spending money on useless but fun stuff or hoarding it. Who cares of they fork out a few hundred more than they need to for a piece of wax?
 
Displayed 50 of 86 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report