miss diminutive: In highschool some friends and I went into the bush to cut down our own Christmas tree. We walked a good 3 or 4 kilometers before we found one that was far enough away from the road and the right size we wanted. The guys cut down the tree and we all came together to haul it back to the pickup truck. There were five of us in total and the three guys lifted the tree onto their shoulders and started to carry it back while the two of us girls watched and carried the axe and other belongings.After a few minutes I saw that the guys were struggling with the tree (the snow was deep and the ground was uneven) so I went in to help them. Since there was a significant height difference between me and even the shortest guy I was basically holding the tree slightly above my head and occasionally trying to balance it on the plastic headband part of my earmuffs when we stopped for breaks. By the time we made it back to the car I realized that my hair was completely covered in sap. Not just a little, it was everywhere, down to the scalp and dripping over my ears.I'm not sure if any of you have had pine sap on your body or clothing before, but it's literally a biatch to get out. I started freaking out and trying to pull it out of my hair with my mittens, which only caused large linty chunks of pink mitten fur to get lodged in my hair. My friends was trying to calm me down and soon her yellow mitten fur was mixed into my hair as well. When I looked into the truck window I looked like some frozen tropical bird with sap and snot all over my face from my recent meltdown. I was on the verge of tears the whole drive home, especially after my friend (who was paranoid about getting sap on his dad's truck) wrapped my head in a grocery bag and an old wool blanket he found under the seat that smelled of wet dog and ass.Getting the sap out was a production that involved trying mayonnaise, egg whites, vinegar, shampoo and olive oil in various permutations and combinations. I had changed into my bathing suit and was standing in the shower shivering and moaning while my friends basically tried these concoctions. Finally we resorted to a combination of rubbing alcohol and dish soap and had success. I still smelled like an air freshener for about a week afterwards.
edmo: "tree tops"It's a special kind of asshole that goes around lopping off the tops of trees.
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