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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Christmas comes earlier every year: Tree sellers already facing charges for cutting 2000 trees on public land   (startribune.com) divider line 28
    More: Dumbass, Duluth News Tribune, gross misdemeanor, state Department of Natural Resources, public lands  
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1966 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2013 at 12:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-15 11:13:23 AM  
courtneyjeannette.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-15 11:24:04 AM  
Remember to check the credentials of the seller before purchasing your Christmas tree.
Ask where they got their product. Ask about any criminal records. Get a DNA swab just in case.
i1151.photobucket.com
Advice from your local Christmas tree sellers.
We did the crime and paid our time.
 
2013-11-15 12:46:26 PM  
Done in one.
 
2013-11-15 12:48:29 PM  
Squirrel!cdn.splitsider.com
 
2013-11-15 12:49:31 PM  
1,970 trees? They may be thieves, but they ain't lazy.
 
2013-11-15 12:56:47 PM  
Damn that Saruman and his orcs.
www.mark-shea.com
 
2013-11-15 12:59:07 PM  
Can't they hit them with a separate charge for each stolen tree?  Or is it based off of the total value of all product stolen?
 
2013-11-15 01:05:53 PM  
In highschool some friends and I went into the bush to cut down our own Christmas tree. We walked a good 3 or 4 kilometers before we found one that was far enough away from the road and the right size we wanted. The guys cut down the tree and we all came together to haul it back to the pickup truck. There were five of us in total and the three guys lifted the tree onto their shoulders and started to carry it back while the two of us girls watched and carried the axe and other belongings.

After a few minutes I saw that the guys were struggling with the tree (the snow was deep and the ground was uneven) so I went in to help them. Since there was a significant height difference between me and even the shortest guy I was basically holding the tree slightly above my head and occasionally trying to balance it on the plastic headband part of my earmuffs when we stopped for breaks. By the time we made it back to the car I realized that my hair was completely covered in sap. Not just a little, it was everywhere, down to the scalp and dripping over my ears.

I'm not sure if any of you have had pine sap on your body or clothing before, but it's literally a biatch to get out. I started freaking out and trying to pull it out of my hair with my mittens, which only caused large linty chunks of pink mitten fur to get lodged in my hair. My friends was trying to calm me down and soon her yellow mitten fur was mixed into my hair as well. When I looked into the truck window I looked like some frozen tropical bird with sap and snot all over my face from my recent meltdown. I was on the verge of tears the whole drive home, especially after my friend (who was paranoid about getting sap on his dad's truck) wrapped my head in a grocery bag and an old wool blanket he found under the seat that smelled of wet dog and ass.

Getting the sap out was a production that involved trying mayonnaise, egg whites, vinegar, shampoo and olive oil in various permutations and combinations. I had changed into my bathing suit and was standing in the shower shivering and moaning while my friends basically tried these concoctions. Finally we resorted to a combination of rubbing alcohol and dish soap and had success. I still smelled like an air freshener for about a week afterwards.
 
2013-11-15 01:15:24 PM  

miss diminutive: In highschool some friends and I went into the bush to cut down our own Christmas tree. We walked a good 3 or 4 kilometers before we found one that was far enough away from the road and the right size we wanted. The guys cut down the tree and we all came together to haul it back to the pickup truck. There were five of us in total and the three guys lifted the tree onto their shoulders and started to carry it back while the two of us girls watched and carried the axe and other belongings.

After a few minutes I saw that the guys were struggling with the tree (the snow was deep and the ground was uneven) so I went in to help them. Since there was a significant height difference between me and even the shortest guy I was basically holding the tree slightly above my head and occasionally trying to balance it on the plastic headband part of my earmuffs when we stopped for breaks. By the time we made it back to the car I realized that my hair was completely covered in sap. Not just a little, it was everywhere, down to the scalp and dripping over my ears.

I'm not sure if any of you have had pine sap on your body or clothing before, but it's literally a biatch to get out. I started freaking out and trying to pull it out of my hair with my mittens, which only caused large linty chunks of pink mitten fur to get lodged in my hair. My friends was trying to calm me down and soon her yellow mitten fur was mixed into my hair as well. When I looked into the truck window I looked like some frozen tropical bird with sap and snot all over my face from my recent meltdown. I was on the verge of tears the whole drive home, especially after my friend (who was paranoid about getting sap on his dad's truck) wrapped my head in a grocery bag and an old wool blanket he found under the seat that smelled of wet dog and ass.

Getting the sap out was a production that involved trying mayonnaise, egg whites, vinegar, shampoo and olive oil in various permutations and combinations. I had changed int ...


Nice visual. I learned that same lesson on a high school tree stealing trip, but also found out that I was allergic to evergreen sap so I also had massive raised blotches all over my arms and shoulders.
 
2013-11-15 01:18:04 PM  
Someone will give them a yule log in jail.
 
2013-11-15 01:19:53 PM  
"tree tops"

It's a special kind of asshole that goes around lopping off the tops of trees.
 
2013-11-15 01:23:47 PM  

edmo: "tree tops"

It's a special kind of asshole that goes around lopping off the tops of trees.


All the downtown ladies call him treetop hater.

/all the men just call him sir
 
2013-11-15 01:38:10 PM  
They'll grow back.
 
Rat
2013-11-15 01:43:06 PM  
Mick and Paddy, both looking for work, see a notice saying "Tree fellers wanted." "Would you look at that, tree fellers," Paddy said to Mick. "What a pity there's only two of us."

©
 
2013-11-15 01:43:35 PM  

miss diminutive: In highschool some friends and I went into the bush to cut down our own Christmas tree. We walked a good 3 or 4 kilometers before we found one that was far enough away from the road and the right size we wanted. The guys cut down the tree and we all came together to haul it back to the pickup truck. There were five of us in total and the three guys lifted the tree onto their shoulders and started to carry it back while the two of us girls watched and carried the axe and other belongings.

After a few minutes I saw that the guys were struggling with the tree (the snow was deep and the ground was uneven) so I went in to help them. Since there was a significant height difference between me and even the shortest guy I was basically holding the tree slightly above my head and occasionally trying to balance it on the plastic headband part of my earmuffs when we stopped for breaks. By the time we made it back to the car I realized that my hair was completely covered in sap. Not just a little, it was everywhere, down to the scalp and dripping over my ears.

I'm not sure if any of you have had pine sap on your body or clothing before, but it's literally a biatch to get out. I started freaking out and trying to pull it out of my hair with my mittens, which only caused large linty chunks of pink mitten fur to get lodged in my hair. My friends was trying to calm me down and soon her yellow mitten fur was mixed into my hair as well. When I looked into the truck window I looked like some frozen tropical bird with sap and snot all over my face from my recent meltdown. I was on the verge of tears the whole drive home, especially after my friend (who was paranoid about getting sap on his dad's truck) wrapped my head in a grocery bag and an old wool blanket he found under the seat that smelled of wet dog and ass.

Getting the sap out was a production that involved trying mayonnaise, egg whites, vinegar, shampoo and olive oil in various permutations and combinations. I had changed into my bathing suit and was standing in the shower shivering and moaning while my friends basically tried these concoctions. Finally we resorted to a combination of rubbing alcohol and dish soap and had success. I still smelled like an air freshener for about a week afterwards.


...fap?
 
2013-11-15 01:45:09 PM  

edmo: "tree tops"

It's a special kind of asshole that goes around lopping off the tops of trees.


The upside is that they probably didn't actually kill many trees.
 
2013-11-15 01:52:29 PM  
Well now, the trees are all kept equal by hatchet, axe, and saw.

/can't help their feelings if they like the way they're made
 
2013-11-15 01:52:31 PM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: edmo: "tree tops"

It's a special kind of asshole that goes around lopping off the tops of trees.

The upside is that they probably didn't actually kill many trees.


Wanna bet?

The bastidges that stole trees from our land (mature wood lot) would drop 30-40 ft. trees (a dozen or so) just to take the tops.

Wish we could have caught them.
 
2013-11-15 01:56:38 PM  

miss diminutive: In highschool some friends and I went into the bush to cut down our own Christmas tree. We walked a good 3 or 4 kilometers before we found one that was far enough away from the road and the right size we wanted. The guys cut down the tree and we all came together to haul it back to the pickup truck. There were five of us in total and the three guys lifted the tree onto their shoulders and started to carry it back while the two of us girls watched and carried the axe and other belongings.

After a few minutes I saw that the guys were struggling with the tree (the snow was deep and the ground was uneven) so I went in to help them. Since there was a significant height difference between me and even the shortest guy I was basically holding the tree slightly above my head and occasionally trying to balance it on the plastic headband part of my earmuffs when we stopped for breaks. By the time we made it back to the car I realized that my hair was completely covered in sap. Not just a little, it was everywhere, down to the scalp and dripping over my ears.

I'm not sure if any of you have had pine sap on your body or clothing before, but it's literally a biatch to get out. I started freaking out and trying to pull it out of my hair with my mittens, which only caused large linty chunks of pink mitten fur to get lodged in my hair. My friends was trying to calm me down and soon her yellow mitten fur was mixed into my hair as well. When I looked into the truck window I looked like some frozen tropical bird with sap and snot all over my face from my recent meltdown. I was on the verge of tears the whole drive home, especially after my friend (who was paranoid about getting sap on his dad's truck) wrapped my head in a grocery bag and an old wool blanket he found under the seat that smelled of wet dog and ass.

Getting the sap out was a production that involved trying mayonnaise, egg whites, vinegar, shampoo and olive oil in various permutations and combinations. I had changed into my bathing suit and was standing in the shower shivering and moaning while my friends basically tried these concoctions. Finally we resorted to a combination of rubbing alcohol and dish soap and had success. I still smelled like an air freshener for about a week afterwards.


You funny.

/almost Pocket Ninja level story telling here.
//and yeah, CSS
///slashies
 
2013-11-15 01:57:40 PM  

JesusJuice: They'll grow back.


No, they really won't. when you "top" many kinds of trees it will never grow any taller than where it was cut. it will grow wider (assuming it survives) but never taller.
 
2013-11-15 02:02:17 PM  
I am not sure if cut trees are still branded on the bottom, but several years ago several semi trailers were stolen from a tree farm in Maine. A policeman thought that one lot in Boston looked "a little funny" and noticed that the marking matched up with a notice. Due to the amount of money involved, the sentences were between 5 to 15 years.

One jerk not that far away from me cut down his neighbor's trees because they interfered with his view of the lake. Never mind that the trees were there before his house was even built.
 
2013-11-15 02:07:06 PM  

miss diminutive: In highschool some friends and I went into the bush to cut down our own Christmas tree. We walked a good 3 or 4 kilometers before we found one that was far enough away from the road and the right size we wanted. The guys cut down the tree and we all came together to haul it back to the pickup truck. There were five of us in total and the three guys lifted the tree onto their shoulders and started to carry it back while the two of us girls watched and carried the axe and other belongings.

After a few minutes I saw that the guys were struggling with the tree (the snow was deep and the ground was uneven) so I went in to help them. Since there was a significant height difference between me and even the shortest guy I was basically holding the tree slightly above my head and occasionally trying to balance it on the plastic headband part of my earmuffs when we stopped for breaks. By the time we made it back to the car I realized that my hair was completely covered in sap. Not just a little, it was everywhere, down to the scalp and dripping over my ears.

I'm not sure if any of you have had pine sap on your body or clothing before, but it's literally a biatch to get out. I started freaking out and trying to pull it out of my hair with my mittens, which only caused large linty chunks of pink mitten fur to get lodged in my hair. My friends was trying to calm me down and soon her yellow mitten fur was mixed into my hair as well. When I looked into the truck window I looked like some frozen tropical bird with sap and snot all over my face from my recent meltdown. I was on the verge of tears the whole drive home, especially after my friend (who was paranoid about getting sap on his dad's truck) wrapped my head in a grocery bag and an old wool blanket he found under the seat that smelled of wet dog and ass.

Getting the sap out was a production that involved trying mayonnaise, egg whites, vinegar, shampoo and olive oil in various permutations and combinations. I had chang ...



One word - butter.
 
2013-11-15 02:29:30 PM  
DON'T BUY BLOOD TREES!
 
2013-11-15 02:42:16 PM  
A little bit of fox urine would stop that. Or in this case, a whole helluva lot of fox urine.
 
2013-11-15 02:54:29 PM  
Miss Diminutive: great story

In most of the country you can cut a Christmas tree in the national forests with an inexpensive permit.  However, it is harder than you might think to find a tree well-proportioned for the house (not to mention the sap-on-the-head).  You're better off planting a new pine or two every year in your yard, trimming it up during the years, then cutting it after six or eight years.  You local conservation district likely sells saplings in the spring ($14 for 10 Douglas firs here in Seattle).
 
2013-11-15 03:02:28 PM  

miss diminutive: Getting the sap out was a production that involved trying mayonnaise, egg whites, vinegar, shampoo and olive oil in various permutations and combinations. I had changed into my bathing suit and was standing in the shower shivering and moaning while my friends basically tried these concoctions. Finally we resorted to a combination of rubbing alcohol and dish soap and had success. I still smelled like an air freshener for about a week afterwards.



Zippo lighter fluid--the liquid in the flip-top bottle, not the pressurized can of LP.  It's "Goo Gone" with a different label and 1/5 the price. It'll take the stick out of anything.  It will also etch some plastics, so be careful, but works great on skin. Just wash with soap and water afterwards.
 
2013-11-15 04:19:58 PM  
If a man steals a tree in the forest, does he make a sound?
 
2013-11-15 08:46:48 PM  
People still cut live trees? We just bring up the same artificial tree from the basement every year.

/Not this year though
//I'm finally getting rid of those old, falling apart decorations you never threw out
///Sorry, Mom
 
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