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(Daily Star)   Woman makes her partner take a lie detector test every time he leaves the house, to prove he's been faithful. She also checks his phone, email accounts and bank statements several times a day. Yeah, she's totally worth it (w/pics)   (dailystar.co.uk ) divider line 151
    More: Dumbass, Anne Robinson, body dysmorphic disorder  
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24489 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2013 at 3:39 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



151 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-15 04:20:41 AM  

markie_farkie: [www.a2review.net image 658x507]

Thought he looked familiar...


UN-farkING-CANNY
 
2013-11-15 04:22:34 AM  
This has to be fake. Please be fake.
 
2013-11-15 04:29:49 AM  
Nope!

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-11-15 04:33:10 AM  
Wouldn't waste the $$$ to buy gas & set her on fire.

/he should buy a sledgehammer or an ax.
 
2013-11-15 04:40:13 AM  
I'm guessing he's been the one making her sammiches?

i.dailymail.co.uk

Saw one of these that said, "I wanted to spend Mother's day with you, so I kiled your mom!"  Couldn't see it at work.
 
2013-11-15 04:40:31 AM  

rockforever: [images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 620x700]

Its like someone drew a big frown on the Kool-Aid man.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-15 04:40:54 AM  
If I were him, I'd start slipping some anti-psychotics into her morning gallon of butter. Also, didn't one of the characters in 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' suffer from morbid jealousy? I thought it was silly then too.
 
2013-11-15 04:42:42 AM  


i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com

 
2013-11-15 04:46:44 AM  
What a waste of a vagina
 
2013-11-15 04:50:41 AM  
I lived with something like this for two years. Not as bad, I'll admit, but it was progressively getting worse. I couldn't even watch the evening news in peace without being accused of wanting to fark the female newsreader. In the end I went for the easier option and left her, even though that involved a year of bunny boiling recriminations until she found a new victim to terrorise.
 
2013-11-15 04:53:26 AM  
Subby made me click on the link.
 
2013-11-15 04:56:31 AM  
That woman isn't just a biatch, she's just plain nuts.

graphics.chicagotribune.com
Guuy. You got to lose thatzero and get yourself a hero!
 
2013-11-15 04:56:43 AM  

Ringshadow: Gordon Bennett: Ringshadow: Keeping in mind it's DailyFail...

This isn't the Daily Mail. It's the Daily Star, one of our proud red top tabloids published for people who lack the class and sophistication of Daily Mail readers. No, really.

Oh. Well. I stand corrected. Sorry I misread.


To be fair, it was in the Daily Mail two days ago.... But the Stars photo of her face is much much funnier

PS whoever said her face "looks like an abused potato" you owe me a new keyboard, and you win the internets

/Sadly i'm from Leicestershire
//We don't all look like that
 
2013-11-15 04:58:20 AM  
Eh, the woman apparently suffers from actual, medical delusional psychopathy.  The dude's just taking care of her and using the lie-detector thing as a crutch to help keep her stable.

I doubt the thing's even actually functional, and if it is I'd wager the woman doesn't know how to actually run a detector-assisted interview.

GodComplex: If I were him, I'd start slipping some anti-psychotics into her morning gallon of butter. Also, didn't one of the characters in 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' suffer from morbid jealousy? I thought it was silly then too.


Well, she's been diagnosed, anti-psychotics are probably a part of her treatment as well-- that may be the only reason her disorder's weak enough that she can 'trick' it into accepting the lie detector results.  Full-blown psychosis without medication would probably tell her he'd rigged the test and expand her paranoid jealousy to males as well.

// This isn't to say that taking care of an insane person doesn't suck, it does.  But he's aware of it and apparently willing to deal, so this isn't all that different from a husband taking care of his wife after she gets senile dementia and can't remember how to feed herself sometimes.
 
2013-11-15 05:02:47 AM  
All in all, a not atypical example of British females.
 
2013-11-15 05:07:10 AM  
Holy crap on a cracker..Even if the story is made up..That "woman" is just, horrible..Even the Gorgons
would scream, "Kill it with fire!". Wow..And that dude..WTF.. How many homeless meth addicts did they have
to interview to find THAT guy? Even Dale Gribble would be considered a Chippendale ahead of him...
 
2013-11-15 05:17:53 AM  
I know why it's fake...

If it was real, they would have said no tip because you have Obamacare now.
 
2013-11-15 05:18:39 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Eh, the woman apparently suffers from actual, medical delusional psychopathy.  The dude's just taking care of her and using the lie-detector thing as a crutch to help keep her stable.

I doubt the thing's even actually functional, and if it is I'd wager the woman doesn't know how to actually run a detector-assisted interview.

GodComplex: If I were him, I'd start slipping some anti-psychotics into her morning gallon of butter. Also, didn't one of the characters in 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' suffer from morbid jealousy? I thought it was silly then too.

Well, she's been diagnosed, anti-psychotics are probably a part of her treatment as well-- that may be the only reason her disorder's weak enough that she can 'trick' it into accepting the lie detector results.  Full-blown psychosis without medication would probably tell her he'd rigged the test and expand her paranoid jealousy to males as well.

// This isn't to say that taking care of an insane person doesn't suck, it does.  But he's aware of it and apparently willing to deal, so this isn't all that different from a husband taking care of his wife after she gets senile dementia and can't remember how to feed herself sometimes.


After reading about the disorder, which there isn't a whole lot of info on, it almost seems like she has OCD given the thoughts and rituals coupled with the past relationship problems. Whereas Othello syndrome seems to be coupled with schizophrenia and some affective disorders. And she mostly likely has a co-morbid affective disorder. Still think she needs more anti-psychotics, cause excessive dopamine probably doesn't help.

Hurray for armchair psychiatry.
 
2013-11-15 05:19:24 AM  
Oops, wrong thread...
 
2013-11-15 05:26:05 AM  
once gain farkers repeat after me " Never stick your dick in crazy,"
 
2013-11-15 05:31:23 AM  
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Skin tags! Skin tags EVERYWHERE!!!
 
2013-11-15 05:37:50 AM  

PC LOAD LETTER: Her face looks like an abused potato


That's an insult to potatos.
 
2013-11-15 05:39:33 AM  
i68.photobucket.com
img.pandawhale.com
 
2013-11-15 05:47:46 AM  

what_now: The reason Germans aren't the reason you aren't a superpower anymore, England. The Sun is.


What a well reasoned out argument.
 
2013-11-15 05:51:13 AM  
I'd like to see him take a lie detector test that he's really hitting that hideous beast or not.
 
2013-11-15 05:59:04 AM  
I'm convinced 'these people' take $200 payments to accept to be photographed together so the Star can create outlandish stories about them (because some people actually pay to read that garbage).

/nobody could be that f*cking stupid
 
2013-11-15 06:00:19 AM  
i212.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-15 06:02:52 AM  
jamesmarks.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-15 06:10:04 AM  

you are a puppet: rockforever: [images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 620x700]

Its like someone drew a big frown on the Kool-Aid man.

[i.imgur.com image 614x696]


This made me laugh way too hard.
 
2013-11-15 06:18:42 AM  
Damn.
 
2013-11-15 06:25:50 AM  

wildcardjack: The world needs more abused husband shelters.


Normally we'd call that you're good buddy that's still single couch for a few days. Even if he lives 300 miles away.
 
2013-11-15 06:26:11 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Also, it's a travesty that two people who are obviously working so hard to make their relationship work are forced by the press to expose their suffering to their world. One can only pine for a society where reporters didn't randomly show up at your door and despite your best efforts drag your most intimate struggles and hardships into the hard, cold scrutiny of the world.


In the UK, you can get paid to stay at home if you're mentally unfit to work. Perhaps this is their attempt to cash in
 
2013-11-15 06:31:47 AM  
Maybe she gives spectacular blowjobs?
 
2013-11-15 06:33:51 AM  
This just can't be real.
 
2013-11-15 06:34:30 AM  
wpmedia.o.canada.com
 
2013-11-15 06:39:27 AM  
s11.postimg.org
 
2013-11-15 06:44:12 AM  
That little thing is a polygraph? She should order some x-ray specs and become a radiologist at the same time.
 
2013-11-15 06:48:27 AM  
 
2013-11-15 06:55:23 AM  
Some dude once said that love is a many funny things
I know there's a perfect girl out there for me, 'cause I see her
in my dreams

Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one
Out there for me
My love

Dream girl you amaze me, all dressed in paisley
Love how not one but both eyes are lazy
When I first saw you you were drivin' the bus
Thick skin, strong nose like a rhinoceros

Dream girl so beautiful, lips all crummy
Skin like asphalt, nose so runny
Thick thighs, no waist, not a care in the world
You not crazy girl, you just my baby girl

You're a vision in sweats with the neon patch
Half eaten squirrel hangin' outta your mouth
Rainbow poncho, the female Tonto
Hear a loud noise start bu-bucking like a bronco

Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one
Out there for me
My love

You got your cellphone ring set to Sex and the City
You like a hot bowl of grits only way more gritty
Straight drippin' in turquoise my Santa Fe queen
One short leg you got the Santa Fe Lean

It's music to my ears when you scream in your sleep
And when you lift your skirt in public yo I can't help but peek
You like Cleopatra with the eyes of a pig
Love to watch you in the backyard when you go out to dig

Girl how'd you get those mouse traps glued to your neck
Little rascal, how'd you get screwed to the deck?
You put away slurpees like a trash can

Your smile's all stainy and you're not too brainy and
I like that!

Talking to your shoe like it's your friend
I like that!

Yellin' at the walls of make pretend
I like that!

Tellin' you to stop it then you don't
You say you're gonna stab me in my sleep
But you won't!

Last week thought I saw you on the street
Turns out it was a bag of trash
Just a big ol' bag of trash
I thought you looked like a bag of trash

Dream girl I pitch a tent when you stomp in the room
Like a hellbound turkey mixed with a baboon
You're sexy and you're spicy like a bowl of Chex Mix
And I always feel safe when I'm in your flesh mitts

Your teeth so clean coulda swore you were British
Never take your Chex Mix 'cause you always get skittish
Open clams with both feet 'cause you're ambidextrous
No point 'cause we know you eat nothin' but Chex Mix
 
2013-11-15 07:03:36 AM  

Cormee: What a waste of a vagina


Maybe they could give it to the 19 yr old hottie who doesn't have one.
 
2013-11-15 07:07:55 AM  
Let's be honest -- is it really body dysmorphic disorder if your body is actually dysmorphic?  I mean, if you score about a 6 on the 10 scale, and you pathologically believe you're a 1, that's BDD.  If you look like an emo wildebeest, that's sorta the disorder itself.
 
2013-11-15 07:07:57 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-11-15 07:10:34 AM  

rockforever: [images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 620x700]

Its like someone drew a big frown on the Kool-Aid man.


holee fuk...not even with your cawk
 
2013-11-15 07:12:07 AM  
Trust me dear, no one, and I mean no one, is trying to take that 'man' away from you.
 
2013-11-15 07:15:03 AM  

Pugdaddyk: Cormee: What a waste of a vagina

Maybe they could give it to the 19 yr old hottie who doesn't have one.


Naw.  The labia would hang to her knees.
 
2013-11-15 07:15:40 AM  

rockforever: [images.dailystar-uk.co.uk image 620x700]

Its like someone drew a big frown on the Kool-Aid man.


It's looks like a Sesame Street skit to act out what the number 10 looks like.
 
2013-11-15 07:18:43 AM  

markie_farkie: Thought he looked familiar...


Came for this. Thanks.
 
2013-11-15 07:27:12 AM  

grimlock1972: once gain farkers repeat after me " Never stick your dick in crazy,"


New flap every night.
 
2013-11-15 07:35:54 AM  
img.fark.net
Not

img.fark.net
Even

img.fark.net
Remotely

img.fark.net
Worth it
 
2013-11-15 07:36:57 AM  
That's some weapons-grade ugly right there. She's right to be jealous. I bet every sock in their house can stand up on its own.
 
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