Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Marketwatch)   The K is back on your 401   (marketwatch.com) divider line 88
    More: Cool, Fidelity Investments  
•       •       •

11145 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2013 at 4:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-11-14 04:22:53 PM  
With the oceans rising it's time to rebuild that sand castle.
 
2013-11-14 04:24:05 PM  
Wait until the Fed stops quantitative easing (pumping money) and all that interest free money stops entering the stock market. It's going to be bad.
 
2013-11-14 04:24:34 PM  
Unfortunately mine is j/K.
 
2013-11-14 04:24:44 PM  
Just a few years ago the K was for Krazy.
 
2013-11-14 04:26:35 PM  
Sooo....hookers and blow?
 
2013-11-14 04:26:52 PM  
I fear that this is just the latest bubble, but at least for now it makes my retirement account look pretty good.
 
2013-11-14 04:27:06 PM  
SELL! SELL!
 
2013-11-14 04:30:37 PM  
401 kilos?
 
2013-11-14 04:31:09 PM  

jigger: I fear that this is just the latest bubble, but at least for now it makes my retirement account look pretty good.


This is why you should keep some cash in there, so you can buy up when things get cheap.

/worked for me in '08
 
2013-11-14 04:33:18 PM  
I haven't had a 401k for years.  Until this year.  I've actually got money.  And there is a little green number next to my totals that shows how much it's grown.  I'm up $0.24 for the year.  Almost a QUARTER!!

Granted, I'm only contributing 1% biweekly.  But my company matches that 100%.
Better than nothing.

In proof that these things actually DO work (or, did)...  My father retired after 25 years at AT&T, and had been withdrawing $1500 a month out of his 401k to supplement his income.  He's been doing this for about 20 years or so.

At this rate, I will have to work until I'm like 150 before I'll even be close to that.
 
2013-11-14 04:34:00 PM  

jigger: I fear that this is just the latest bubble, but at least for now it makes my retirement account look pretty good.


Everybody says it is a bubble, but it continues to go up. Then people say "see it's not a bubble it must be fundamentals" so they put more money in because they are afraid of missing out. That is when the crash happens.
 
2013-11-14 04:35:34 PM  
Well, we're still no where near as successful as the Zimbabwe stock market...

YET!

/ anyone who thinks this is good news is in for a very, VERY rude awakening someday
 
2013-11-14 04:35:46 PM  
It struck out swinging?
 
2013-11-14 04:36:30 PM  
I've been maxing every year for nearly 25 years now, dollar cost averaging into indexed mutual funds. It's not the most clever of investment strategies, but it's made me a *lot* of money, so no complaints.
 
2013-11-14 04:37:43 PM  

DrewCurtisJr: jigger: I fear that this is just the latest bubble, but at least for now it makes my retirement account look pretty good.

Everybody says it is a bubble, but it continues to go up. Then people say "see it's not a bubble it must be fundamentals" so they put more money in because they are afraid of missing out. That is when the crash happens.


Yeah, when people stop saying it's a bubble, that's when you get out.
 
2013-11-14 04:38:09 PM  

astro716: jigger: I fear that this is just the latest bubble, but at least for now it makes my retirement account look pretty good.

This is why you should keep some cash in there, so you can buy up when things get cheap.

/worked for me in '08


Word.   Thank you GE for losing your AAA credit rating and selling bonds at stupid rates.
 
2013-11-14 04:39:55 PM  
I put a bunch of my money into Freddie Mac when it was at $0.31 a share... so I'm getting a kick.
 
2013-11-14 04:40:17 PM  
I knew I shouldn't have bought Tesla!   :(
 
2013-11-14 04:40:32 PM  
Thanks, Obama.
 
2013-11-14 04:40:37 PM  

bmr68: Wait until the Fed stops quantitative easing (pumping money) and all that interest free money stops entering the stock market. It's going to be bad.


That's why I've been permanently in gold.   I'm not participating in any of this "phony" rally.

As the old saying goes, "Fight the Fed".
 
2013-11-14 04:40:53 PM  
Here's a picture worth well more than 1000 words.

www.ritholtz.com
 
2013-11-14 04:44:47 PM  
The fact that I have had an increase of over 28% this year alone strikes me as statistically unlikely to continue. I'd bet before sometime in December it'll be down to 15%.
 
2013-11-14 04:45:48 PM  
It's a great time to get in the market.
 
2013-11-14 04:47:47 PM  
My employee stock options are the highest that they've been in 13 years.
 
2013-11-14 04:48:01 PM  

flaminio: I've been maxing every year for nearly 25 years now, dollar cost averaging into indexed mutual funds. It's not the most clever of investment strategies, but it's made me a *lot* of money, so no complaints.


You're doing it right. "Clever" investment strategies either a) mean taking on a ton of risk, whether it's visible or not, b) won't work in the long run, and/or c) will get you mauled by fees. Buy a diversified portfolio, pay as few fees as humanly possible, and don't get excited or panic. Retail investors have no business doing anything more complicated than that.
 
2013-11-14 04:49:13 PM  

bmr68: Wait until the Fed stops quantitative easing (pumping money) and all that interest free money stops entering the stock market. It's going to be bad.


If there is a market correction of large dimensions, what can the Fed do? What can the president and congress do?  More bank bailouts to save life on earth as we know it?
 
2013-11-14 04:50:50 PM  

bmr68: Wait until the Fed stops quantitative easing (pumping money) and all that interest free money stops entering the stock market. It's going to be bad.


I agree, particularly on days when the economic news prompts an asymmetrical response in the stock markets, which happens weekly.  Unemployment down?  SELL!  Weak growth? BUY! Growth nearing the point that the Fed should scale back on debt purchases? OMGSELLSELLSELL!

The market seems to be almost exclusively reacting to the Fed's intentions.  Reminds me very much of the wacky shiat happening to yield curves in the summer of '08.
 
2013-11-14 04:51:49 PM  

flaminio: I've been maxing every year for nearly 25 years now, dollar cost averaging into indexed mutual funds. It's not the most clever of investment strategies, but it's made me a *lot* of money, so no complaints.


There is nothing wrong with sticking to the fundamentals. You say it's "not clever"? If it works, it's clever enough... or, at least, not stupid.
 
2013-11-14 04:55:23 PM  

durbnpoisn: I haven't had a 401k for years.  Until this year.  I've actually got money.  And there is a little green number next to my totals that shows how much it's grown.  I'm up $0.24 for the year.  Almost a QUARTER!!

Granted, I'm only contributing 1% biweekly.  But my company matches that 100%.
Better than nothing.

In proof that these things actually DO work (or, did)...  My father retired after 25 years at AT&T, and had been withdrawing $1500 a month out of his 401k to supplement his income.  He's been doing this for about 20 years or so.

At this rate, I will have to work until I'm like 150 before I'll even be close to that.


I don't know things, but does your dad also have a pension and maybe even a social security check every month?  The negative side of me assumes anyone who has retired has a crazy pension and social security checks and that anyone working right now will have neither.
I just upped my 401K to 10% and trying to hold on for dear life.  I'm also not good with interest and projected future income, so I'm just assuming I'll wipe out my 401K in about 10 years of retirement and I'll grab my cane and go ask for my old job back.  Also, my house and mortgage is somehow going to be f'ed up in 25 years so I won't be able to sell.  What else?
 
2013-11-14 04:55:40 PM  

Rapmaster2000: bmr68: Wait until the Fed stops quantitative easing (pumping money) and all that interest free money stops entering the stock market. It's going to be bad.

That's why I've been permanently in gold.   I'm not participating in any of this "phony" rally.

As the old saying goes, "Fight the Fed".


Gold's way down this year and 40% off its highs. When did you buy?
 
2013-11-14 04:59:01 PM  
I just got a hot stock tip from the doorman at my building!
 
2013-11-14 05:01:59 PM  

FTGodWin: Here's a picture worth well more than 1000 words.


It's almost worth a book- which is what the guy running that blog is trying to sell you.
 
2013-11-14 05:06:03 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: Rapmaster2000: bmr68: Wait until the Fed stops quantitative easing (pumping money) and all that interest free money stops entering the stock market. It's going to be bad.

That's why I've been permanently in gold.   I'm not participating in any of this "phony" rally.

As the old saying goes, "Fight the Fed".

Gold's way down this year and 40% off its highs. When did you buy?


Doesn't matter.  Gold is eternal.  Did you know that a gram of gold in 1913 could buy the same monocle as a gram of gold in 2013?  There is no safer store of value than gold.  I've been continually buying gold for the last 5 years.  Once the hypermegaflation starts, I'm going to be sitting up on my huge pile of gold saying "I told you so."  You'll all be sorry that you "invested."

It's going to be sweet.
 
2013-11-14 05:14:13 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Gold is eternal.


Until someone figures out how to economically extract it from sea water.

You know what was one of the rarest pure metals in 1900'ish?

Aluminum.

Think about what you consider 'safe'
 
2013-11-14 05:14:14 PM  

Rapmaster2000: HaywoodJablonski: Rapmaster2000: bmr68: Wait until the Fed stops quantitative easing (pumping money) and all that interest free money stops entering the stock market. It's going to be bad.

That's why I've been permanently in gold.   I'm not participating in any of this "phony" rally.

As the old saying goes, "Fight the Fed".

Gold's way down this year and 40% off its highs. When did you buy?

Doesn't matter.  Gold is eternal.  Did you know that a gram of gold in 1913 could buy the same monocle as a gram of gold in 2013?  There is no safer store of value than gold.  I've been continually buying gold for the last 5 years.  Once the hypermegaflation starts, I'm going to be sitting up on my huge pile of gold saying "I told you so."  You'll all be sorry that you "invested."

It's going to be sweet.


Until the government confiscates your gold for the public good.
 
2013-11-14 05:15:18 PM  

Rapmaster2000: HaywoodJablonski: Rapmaster2000: bmr68: Wait until the Fed stops quantitative easing (pumping money) and all that interest free money stops entering the stock market. It's going to be bad.

That's why I've been permanently in gold.   I'm not participating in any of this "phony" rally.

As the old saying goes, "Fight the Fed".

Gold's way down this year and 40% off its highs. When did you buy?

Doesn't matter.  Gold is eternal.  Did you know that a gram of gold in 1913 could buy the same monocle as a gram of gold in 2013?  There is no safer store of value than gold.  I've been continually buying gold for the last 5 years.  Once the hypermegaflation starts, I'm going to be sitting up on my huge pile of gold saying "I told you so."  You'll all be sorry that you "invested."

It's going to be sweet.


*highfive*
 
2013-11-14 05:17:37 PM  
 
2013-11-14 05:18:45 PM  

SirTanon: I put a bunch of my money into Freddie Mac when it was at $0.31 a share... so I'm getting a kick.


Can you get "long term" capital gains on it yet?
 
2013-11-14 05:21:34 PM  

Rapmaster2000: HaywoodJablonski: Rapmaster2000: bmr68: Wait until the Fed stops quantitative easing (pumping money) and all that interest free money stops entering the stock market. It's going to be bad.

That's why I've been permanently in gold.   I'm not participating in any of this "phony" rally.

As the old saying goes, "Fight the Fed".

Gold's way down this year and 40% off its highs. When did you buy?

Doesn't matter.  Gold is eternal.  Did you know that a gram of gold in 1913 could buy the same monocle as a gram of gold in 2013?  There is no safer store of value than gold.  I've been continually buying gold for the last 5 years.  Once the hypermegaflation starts, I'm going to be sitting up on my huge pile of gold saying "I told you so."  You'll all be sorry that you "invested."

It's going to be sweet.



Beats my rented storage unit filled with Beanie Babies.
 
2013-11-14 05:23:48 PM  
Ketamine?
 
2013-11-14 05:25:40 PM  
This will be really helpful when I die of a heart attack at 58.
I'll be a rich zombie.
 
2013-11-14 05:26:54 PM  

Rapmaster2000: HaywoodJablonski: Rapmaster2000: bmr68: Wait until the Fed stops quantitative easing (pumping money) and all that interest free money stops entering the stock market. It's going to be bad.

That's why I've been permanently in gold.   I'm not participating in any of this "phony" rally.

As the old saying goes, "Fight the Fed".

Gold's way down this year and 40% off its highs. When did you buy?

Doesn't matter.  Gold is eternal.  Did you know that a gram of gold in 1913 could buy the same monocle as a gram of gold in 2013?  There is no safer store of value than gold.  I've been continually buying gold for the last 5 years.  Once the hypermegaflation starts, I'm going to be sitting up on my huge pile of gold saying "I told you so."  You'll all be sorry that you "invested."

It's going to be sweet.


Your trolling has vastly improved, I mean you're getting lots of responses.
It hasn't improved as far as being funny or anything though.
 
2013-11-14 05:27:08 PM  

maniacbastard: "The French government once displayed Fort Knox-like aluminum bars next to the crown jewels, and the minor emperor Napoleon III reserved a prized set of aluminum cutlery for special guests at banquets. (Less favored guests used gold knives and forks.) The United States, to show off its industrial prowess, even capped the Washington monument with a six-pound pyramid of aluminum in 1884."

Sucka.


Pfft.  I'm smarter than the government.  If the government is so smart, how come they can put a man on the Moon, but they sometimes lose letters.

Yahtzee, libs.
 
2013-11-14 05:34:04 PM  
Phear me, peons.

I just opened an early retirement cash buyout offer.  With that and my 401K I'm an actual millionaire, not to mention my other assets.

I'm hanging around and per my usual, I'll lose both when I finally feel like retiring.

"Here's your pizza sir.  That'll be $450,000 + tip."
 
2013-11-14 05:44:52 PM  

DrewCurtisJr: jigger: I fear that this is just the latest bubble, but at least for now it makes my retirement account look pretty good.

Everybody says it is a bubble, but it continues to go up. Then people say "see it's not a bubble it must be fundamentals" so they put more money in because they are afraid of missing out. That is when the crash happens.


And there's no problem if you take the long view.  The market will average you 8% a year.  Over the long haul, that's a good investment, if you're distributed in portfolios and have a "buy and hold" strategy for the long term.  Yes, there will be crashes that wipe out large portions in short bursts, just as you'll gain a lot of it back in quick upticks.  Just realize that your retirement date could move by up to 5 years depending on when the market down, and your 401K will get you there.

Don't try to "time" the market.  Don't shift and sell when things get hard, and don't dump every dime in when the market is up.  It isn't a strategy that will make you tens of millions and make you rich, but it'll fund your retirement decently.
 
2013-11-14 05:45:02 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Pfft. I'm smarter than the government. If the government is so smart, how come they can put a man on the Moon, but they sometimes lose letters.

Yahtzee, libs.


The discovery of electrolysis of aluminum was discovered by a college student.

Go buy koooogerands, I hear that south African gold is magical, and even better than Becktard goldline gold.
 
2013-11-14 05:48:55 PM  
What does potassium have to do with a retirement investment?
 
2013-11-14 05:51:35 PM  

astro716: jigger: I fear that this is just the latest bubble, but at least for now it makes my retirement account look pretty good.

This is why you should keep some cash in there, so you can buy up when things get cheap.

/worked for me in '08


I was sure the teatards were going to shut down the government this year and planned on buying on the cheap then. Didn't work out. On the other hand my portfolio still keeps going up, and I used the cash I was going to buy cheap stocks with to buy a new guitar and then sent the rest to pay down my mortgage.
 
2013-11-14 05:55:08 PM  
But all I have are these Gs?

cdn01.dailycaller.com
 
2013-11-14 05:58:31 PM  
Not sure how it works in the US, but in the UK you get to put money in tax free, but have to buy an annuity on retirement. With current interest rates even a good fund will buy jack shiat in terms of a liveable annual income
 
Displayed 50 of 88 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report