If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WFAA Fort Worth)   Worst motivational speaker since Matt Foley   (wfaa.com) divider line 125
    More: Dumbass, students' union, RHS, dating  
•       •       •

11734 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2013 at 3:19 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



125 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-11-14 04:45:32 PM

boyofd: WhyKnot:

I honestly, don't recall seeing previous links, that being said, I am happy to read them and better understand the issue.   I honest have a hard time assume 1/ ...

First, I think, if you are being candid, you are misunderstanding the research.  Almost no one is going to admit to themselves that they are a rapist.  Instead, what they are admitting to are facts that qualify as rape, e.g., "Have you ever had sex with a woman who you knew was too drunk to give meaningful consent?" or something similar.  Men do that all of the time, and they admit to doing it some of the time.  However, they just don't call it "rape."

This looks like it has the source which led to the 8% citation, although the actual study is only named, but not included online.  I will look for others when I have some time.

http://www.oneinfourusa.org/statistics.php

I would also point out these statistics from the link which help point out that the largest problem with rape is date rape, which is the type that can be addressed by making sure men understand true consent.  That's why this approach has better chances at success.

 57% of rapes happen on dates. (1)
 75% of the men and 55% of the women involved in acquaintance rapes were drinking or taking drugs just before the attack. (1)
 About 70% of sexual assault survivors reported that they took some form of self-protective action during the crime. The most common technique was to resist by struggling or chase and try to hold the attacker. Of those survivors who took protective action, over half believed it helped the situation, about 1/5 believed that it made the situation worse or simultaneously worse and better. (7)
 84% of rape survivors tried unsuccessfully to reason with the man who raped her. (1)
 55% of gang rapes on college campuses are committed by fraternities, 40% by sports teams, and 5% by others. (15)
 Approximately 40% of sexual assaults take place in the survivor's home. About 20% occur in the home of a friend, neighbor, o ...


totally wasn't being candid, i was going off of the first line the first linked article "Eight percent of college men have either attempted or successfully raped."

Thank you for the information, I will look it over.     I know we all come on fark and consistently assume anyone with a counter argument is either an idiot or a troll, i am neither.   If my view of this issue is  wrong, then I will freely admit i was wrong and change my opinion.

Based upon the above, yes, I think we need mandatory "don't be that guy" and "don't be that girl" seminars in high school and college.
 
2013-11-14 04:46:22 PM

WhyKnot: boyofd: WhyKnot: boyofd: WhyKnot: Smelly Pirate Hooker: WhyKnot: He didn't say anything inflammatory to the kids...he mentioned his website where the suspect language was located...let's all calm our tits.

If you booze up a woman for the purpose of reducing her resistance, you are willing to be a rapist regardless of whether she consents or not.  You might get lucky in that she would have consented anyway, but her consent did not matter to you.  So, giving a girl a drink with a higher alcohol content than you tell her is in it = you are willing to rape.  Seeking out women who have had too much to drink = you are willing to rape.  If you don't think those are common ploys in college, you must have skipped school or commuted..

I agree with all of this.   Maybe I am conceptually understanding what is or isn't rape...but then at the same time not carrying forward that definition when thinking of studies of 'rape' and instead thinking about 'forced rape'.


I think that may be the problem.  If you look at the link and quote above, date/acquaintance rape is a much larger portion of the rape pie than is stranger rape.  And much of that problem is an issue of blurred lines of consent, especially where alcohol and drugs are involved.  While you are right that regretting sex after it happens does not make it rape, it is much more likely that a woman who is raped will never report it than that a woman who had a bad sexual experience will later claim it to be rape.  Plus, this is the pseudo-myth that real rapists take advantage of -- if you see a woman who is drunk go off with a man to a private room, the rapist can fit everything that happens thereafter into the "she just regrets it" narrative.  And they do.
 
2013-11-14 04:55:07 PM

Griftin Rubes: Douchapoo says what?

[www.titletrakk.com image 280x420]


Wow. Only in the weird bubble that is the evangelical Christian sub-culture is that man not laughed out of every venue he visits.
 
2013-11-14 04:57:49 PM

oh_please: Frank and Beans: Dateable girls put out.

"If she smokes, she pokes"


If she smokes it means she will put about anything in her mouth.
 
2013-11-14 05:01:43 PM

ikanreed: boyofd: ikanreed: boyofd: If you booze up a woman for the purpose of reducing her resistance, you are willing to be a rapist regardless of whether she consents or not. You might get lucky in that she would have consented anyway, but her consent did not matter to you. So, giving a girl a drink with a higher alcohol content than you tell her is in it = you are willing to rape. Seeking out women who have had too much to drink = you are willing to rape. If you don't think those are common ploys in college, you must have skipped school or commuted.

You're trying to get someone to admit they committed rape to themselves.  Even if they could reasonably come around to an argument on the internet, the cognitive dissonance of "boyofd's argument is wrong in spite of sounding cogent" is much easier for someone's brain to handle than "I'm a rapist."

I was using "you" because WhyKnot started with his own examples of "you."  I am not alleging WhyKnot of having committed any rapes.

I was because of his defensiveness.  That was slander though.   Sorry WhyKnot.  I know you could have been hypothetically defensive.


As I said above, we can be quick to jump someone with an opposing view here on Fark...so I am willing to forgive and forget and move on (of course this is Fark so who the ^%&* really cares if I forgive and forget).  :-)     I would much rather use fark to learn alternative view points, those which I may not be that exposed or hadn't thought about.

Being a male, I am just concerned about other dudes having a good time at a party, hooking up with a lady, then the female regretting her actions, and then RUINING his life...think about the dudes from Duke...(what ever happened to that case in Athens, Ohio?)

That being said, I understand the risks for each side...men and women...when my cousin (male) was heading off the school, I gave him the don't hook up with drunk chicks talk.   I explained that legally, if she is drunk, even if she is totally into him and begging for it, that she can't 'consent' to her actions and that he can be charged with rape.
 
2013-11-14 05:05:47 PM

Lollipop165: I'm hoping you all take the R U Dateable quiz. Cause according to this quiz, this married woman is totally and completely undateable :-(


Dating you would be adultery and then Baby Jesus would have a sad
 
2013-11-14 05:13:42 PM
How to be a "dateable" girl:

1.) Put out or get out
2.) see number 1
 
2013-11-14 05:24:50 PM

Cymbal: not_an_indigo: I didn't know Guy Fieri was a motivational speaker now.

He looks like a love child of Guy Fieri and Vin Diesel, with a sprinkling of Herp Derp in the eyes.


I was thinking Guy Fieri and Wallace Shawn...
 
2013-11-14 05:26:21 PM

boyofd: WhyKnot: boyofd: WhyKnot: boyofd: WhyKnot: Smelly Pirate Hooker: WhyKnot: He didn't say anything inflammatory to the kids...he mentioned his website where the suspect language was located...let's all calm our tits.

If you booze up a woman for the purpose of reducing her resistance, you are willing to be a rapist regardless of whether she consents or not.  You might get lucky in that she would have consented anyway, but her consent did not matter to you.  So, giving a girl a drink with a higher alcohol content than you tell her is in it = you are willing to rape.  Seeking out women who have had too much to drink = you are willing to rape.  If you don't think those are common ploys in college, you must have skipped school or commuted..

I agree with all of this.   Maybe I am conceptually understanding what is or isn't rape...but then at the same time not carrying forward that definition when thinking of studies of 'rape' and instead thinking about 'forced rape'.

I think that may be the problem.  If you look at the link and quote above, date/acquaintance rape is a much larger portion of the rape pie than is stranger rape.  And much of that problem is an issue of blurred lines of consent, especially where alcohol and drugs are involved.  While you are right that regretting sex after it happens does not make it rape, it is much more likely that a woman who is raped will never report it than that a woman who had a bad sexual experience will later claim it to be rape.  Plus, this is the pseudo-myth that real rapists take advantage of -- if you see a woman who is drunk go off with a man to a private room, the rapist can fit everything that happens thereafter into the "she just regrets it" narrative.  And they do.


So now I am trying to find the entire study (Warsaw, R.I Never Called it Rape. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1994.)that the majority of the stats are based upon...in a macabre way, the stats are fascinating....

"42% of rape survivors had sex again with the rapist "

which seems so out of context with..

"82% of rape survivors say the rape permanently changed them" and
"30% of rape survivors contemplate suicide after the rape "
 
2013-11-14 05:54:47 PM
Sorry guys, I was down in the basement drinking coffee for about the last four hours.
 
2013-11-14 05:59:12 PM

tuxq: Grown men with "peacocking" hairstyles are ... well ... pathetic. If you're still trying to catch tail after your looks start the downward slide, you're too late, everyone knows it, and that hair gel is not going to turn back the hands of time.


So by the same token, women who aren't attached by 30 are doomed to stay single?
 
2013-11-14 06:04:01 PM
St. James is where you will find Matt Foley.
 
2013-11-14 06:27:20 PM

maniacbastard: And the people that had to listen to this asshole also got to pay for it, against their will.


And the staff at the school get an extra smoke break while this guy babysits the kids.
 
2013-11-14 06:38:22 PM
I like Matt Foley the motivational speaker, as many kids actually got the crap together when they realized living in a van down by river is a thing.  I have seen worse, not as bad as this guy, but worse than Matt Foley.  I have a feeling this guy has the big muscle, breaking stuff, screaming guys open for him when he can.  I wonder if he ever worked with the 'I did a lot of drugs and should've died' guys.  I have seen the muscle guys and the should've died guys work together.

I have seen other motivational speakers fall into a category with this guy, but they were much better.  One of them actually said stuff that is useful for anyone.  He said things about loving and respecting the one your with.  It's crazy how that works.

/where can I get my captain obvious license so I can yell at kids and watch them yawn?
 
2013-11-14 07:14:17 PM

HotWingConspiracy: special20: I'm sad to read that we are supposed to ignore gender stereotypes. Geez, what is this world supposed to be? Homogenous? Androgynous? What if I just sit here and scratch my balls, will I offend society?

You must report to the ball scratching room, it's near the breastfeeding creche.


Drop trou, scratch now.
 
2013-11-14 07:16:17 PM
Don't be unattractive.  End of lecture.
 
2013-11-14 07:38:50 PM

boyofd: WhyKnot: boyofd: WhyKnot: boyofd: WhyKnot: Smelly Pirate Hooker: WhyKnot: He didn't say anything inflammatory to the kids...he mentioned his website where the suspect language was located...let's all calm our tits.

If you booze up a woman for the purpose of reducing her resistance, you are willing to be a rapist regardless of whether she consents or not.  You might get lucky in that she would have consented anyway, but her consent did not matter to you.  So, giving a girl a drink with a higher alcohol content than you tell her is in it = you are willing to rape.  Seeking out women who have had too much to drink = you are willing to rape.  If you don't think those are common ploys in college, you must have skipped school or commuted..

I agree with all of this.   Maybe I am conceptually understanding what is or isn't rape...but then at the same time not carrying forward that definition when thinking of studies of 'rape' and instead thinking about 'forced rape'.

I think that may be the problem.  If you look at the link and quote above, date/acquaintance rape is a much larger portion of the rape pie than is stranger rape.  And much of that problem is an issue of blurred lines of consent, especially where alcohol and drugs are involved.  While you are right that regretting sex after it happens does not make it rape, it is much more likely that a woman who is raped will never report it than that a woman who had a bad sexual experience will later claim it to be rape.  Plus, this is the pseudo-myth that real rapists take advantage of -- if you see a woman who is drunk go off with a man to a private room, the rapist can fit everything that happens thereafter into the "she just regrets it" narrative.  And they do.


http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/meet-the-predators/

Their sample was 1882 college students
120 men admitted to raping to attempting to rape (~6%)
44 reported only one assault
Of all 120 admitted rapists, only about 30% reported using force or threats, while the remainder raped intoxicated victims
Just 4% of the men surveyed committed over 400 attempted or completed rapes

I will openly acknowledge that I had no idea it was this bad on an issue...WTF is wrong with some people...

going back to my original assertion at the very beginning of the thread, I don't think people need to be told not to RAPE, but shiat...maybe they do....there are some &*^%ing monsters walking amongst us...and the come bearing a cocktail and a smile.   :-(
 
2013-11-14 08:26:42 PM
What's so wrong about telling girls that they don't have to put up with abusive relationships?
 
2013-11-14 09:15:54 PM

Frank and Beans: Dateable girls put out.


That's why I only date the fat ones. Not just "regular fat" either, I'm talking about the really fat ones.

/If they can get around without a mobility scooter and an oxygen tank they're not a sure thing.
//Words to live by.
///A cat is fine, too.
 
2013-11-14 11:24:24 PM

maniacbastard: And the people that had to listen to this asshole also got to pay for it, against their will.


If I'd been there, I would have offered a steady stream of observations on how "dateable" he is.
 
2013-11-15 03:55:44 AM

JNowe: "Why did you tell girls to get out of abusive relationships instead of telling guys not to be abusive in the first place?" one student asked.


God, I hate this line of 'reasoning'.

How about this:  "Guys, don't be abusive to girls.  And girls, if your guy IS abusive, don't do a thing to get out of the situation, because you shouldn't have to."


Yeah when my wife brings that up I smack the bejesus out of her but not so bad she can't finish making me tacos
 
2013-11-15 04:25:48 AM

oh_please: oh_please: timujin: and if anyone's an expert on who is and isn't "datable", it's this dude:
[www.premierproductions.com image 700x467]

The kid from Sum 41 has NOT aged well.

FTFM


Aww I thought you were name-dropping my college band there
 
2013-11-15 05:58:14 AM
I went to a real crappy high school that guaranteed that my future would be mediocre at best, but today I'm thankful.  At least they didn't waste our time with motivational speakers.
 
2013-11-15 07:56:06 AM

WhyKnot: going back to my original assertion at the very beginning of the thread, I don't think people need to be told not to RAPE, but shiat...maybe they do....there are some &*^%ing monsters walking amongst us...and the come bearing a cocktail and a smile.   :-(


I agree that saying, "Don't rape" is probably pretty empty.  But the "don't be that guy" campaigns have been successful, and it is partly because instead of saying rape, they deal with the underlying facts.  Again, "don't use alcohol to get your way with women," for example. And while the number or % of rapists is probably relatively small, there are a lot of people -- often unwittingly -- getting their back back focusing on the woman's conduct (why did she drink? what did she expect when she went back to his room?). Getting people to turn their attention to the guys -- like you did with your nephew -- is where we can make a difference.

Sounds like we are largely in agreement. Not a Fark first, but probably a close second.
 
2013-11-15 09:58:58 AM

WhyKnot: I will openly acknowledge that I had no idea it was this bad on an issue...WTF is wrong with some people...


Actually, that's the trick of it.  They think it's normal.  They think "She was drunk and she never said no, so it's okay".  The serial rapists don't believe what they did was rape.  And they go for so long without being arrested because it's really hard to prosecute those kinds of rape.
 
Displayed 25 of 125 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report