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(Today)   Reporter, world's greatest girlfriend, reveals the key to a man's heart   (today.com) divider line 139
    More: Followup, David Zinczenko, girlfriend  
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20226 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2013 at 4:48 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



139 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-14 05:05:15 PM  
Blowjobs?

Sandwiches?

Ok judging by his pic, yea he's more interested in sandwiches than blowjobs from her.

/ladies, the answer is blowjobs.
 
2013-11-14 05:05:33 PM  
Oh please. For the right man I 'd make him a home cooked breakfast every morning and good dinner most nights.
 
2013-11-14 05:05:48 PM  

lockers: She isn't just slapping some ketchup on a hotdog.


Well, that's probably why the guy is asking for sandwiches.

/what?
 
2013-11-14 05:06:36 PM  

AgentPothead: I guess some women will do anything to be a gay mans' beard?


300cdn.strategicinforma.netdna-cdn.com

You have a point
 
2013-11-14 05:11:24 PM  

orclover: Blowjobs?

Sandwiches?

Ok judging by his pic, yea he's more interested in sandwiches than blowjobs from her.

/ladies, the answer is blowjobs.


This.  There is almost no relationship that couldn't be sustained with a higher application of blow jobs.
 
2013-11-14 05:20:08 PM  
For the record.. Mrs. LeafOnTheWind makes kick ass samiches.
 
2013-11-14 05:20:49 PM  
I'm not seeing a steak anywhere in this commentary.
/has anyone pointed out how ghey he looks?
 
2013-11-14 05:23:05 PM  
He's nuts, she's nuts.
Not worth it.
Don't do it.
 
2013-11-14 05:25:42 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-11-14 05:26:46 PM  
cltampa.com
 
2013-11-14 05:26:51 PM  
Better enjoy those premarital sandwiches while you can.  Once you tie the knot you'll be lucky to see baloney on wonder bread once a month.
 
2013-11-14 05:28:15 PM  

mitchcumstein1: They show blowjobs on Today now?


Eutamias21: oldfarthenry: [media2.s-nbcnews.com image 412x309]
Who's the lesbian on the right?

It's nice to see that Carson Kressley found love.


I see I'm, as usual, around 3 hours too late.
 
2013-11-14 05:29:01 PM  

scottydoesntknow: [img.fark.net image 618x379]

He (?) looks like an early '90s Helen Hunt


That dude must have a penis that reaches his calves. It's the only explanation.
 
2013-11-14 05:30:00 PM  
This wasn't interesting when we talked about it back in September.

Fark Thread
 
2013-11-14 05:31:46 PM  

KawaiiNot: Oh please. For the right man I 'd make him a home cooked breakfast every morning and good dinner most nights.


...sounds like a grand slam. Will send in my application
 
2013-11-14 05:32:00 PM  

lockers: bulldg4life: How good are these sandwiches?

They actually look pretty good. She isn't just slapping some ketchup on a hotdog.


I have a hot dog she can slap ketchup on..
 
2013-11-14 05:36:24 PM  

KawaiiNot: Oh please. For the right man I 'd make him a home cooked breakfast every morning and good dinner most nights.





How YOU doin?
 
2013-11-14 05:39:56 PM  
That's an awful lot of work to go through to land a gay dude.
 
2013-11-14 05:40:09 PM  
Holee Shiat! When I first read this story, I thought it was pretty neat and that they were probably both going to make a great couple, then I watched this video. Turns out that this woman has to feed him to get his energy up before he goes down to the local leather bar, and if she doesn't, he won't allow her to be his beard anymore. The creepy factor has definitely been turned up past 11!
 
2013-11-14 05:40:12 PM  

zabadu: This wasn't interesting when we talked about it back in September.

Fark Thread


This is a followup, talking about the ensuing book deal.
 
2013-11-14 05:45:27 PM  
His favorite sandwiches are ones with sausage.

Tuna --- no so much.
 
2013-11-14 05:46:36 PM  
Also: eat, gay love
 
2013-11-14 05:48:33 PM  

ami5000: LOLOLOLOL


Is that a Culkin?
 
2013-11-14 05:48:52 PM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-11-14 05:53:03 PM  
Awwww, why's all the crap being piled on this poor guy? Where's the misogyny? Why isn't anyone assuming she makes sandwiches in order to get him to forgive her spending all his money/sleeping with his friends/ruining his hobbies/nagging and biatching all the time/being ugly and fat, etc??

/thinks it's lame, but if it makes them happy, have at it
//makes chicken fried steak with gravy when I've done wrong (hardly ever make it because he will OD on mah good southern cookin')
 
2013-11-14 05:53:50 PM  
I call bullshiat. The key to a man's heart is hot sex whenever. Suck him off, f*ck his brains out. Never had a problem doing this.
 
2013-11-14 05:53:51 PM  
Sandwiches are clearly the only thing of hers he has any interest in eating
 
2013-11-14 05:53:58 PM  

Eutamias21: LlamaGirl: ami5000: LOLOLOLOL

[scallywagandvagabond.com image 618x379]

All I can think is that scene in Drop Dead Gorgeous where Brittany Murphy's character screams that her brother is gay. Coz that guy is gay. Super gay.

What is with that look on his face? Did he smell a sour fart??

He's imagining that he's the cameraman's balls deep in the cameraman's his ass.


FTFY
 
2013-11-14 05:54:38 PM  
CSB Time...
My wife and I always talk about our favorite restaurants and meals to cook.

Her favorite thing I make? Freshly grilled chicken sandwiches... spice rub, ditch that lettuce for whole leaf spinach, get a good cone ripened tomato, and POW!
 
2013-11-14 05:59:12 PM  
300 bjs would be better
 
2013-11-14 06:00:49 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: zabadu: This wasn't interesting when we talked about it back in September.

Fark Thread

This is a followup, talking about the ensuing book deal.


Also, your mom apparently missed it in September. Please do me a favor and forward it to her.
 
2013-11-14 06:02:18 PM  

HappyGryphon: CSB Time...
My wife and I always talk about our favorite restaurants and meals to cook.

Her favorite thing I make? Freshly grilled chicken sandwiches... spice rub, ditch that lettuce for whole leaf spinach, get a good cone ripened tomato, and POW!




You just named my exact lunch today. If you would have added chipotle mustard my head would have assploded.
 
2013-11-14 06:09:42 PM  
As for her march toward 300, Smith said she is at sandwich No. 197.
"As for what Eric's plans are, I have no idea when exactly he'll pop the question,'' she said.


I would think that would happen in 103 MORE SANDWICHES MAYBE???
 
2013-11-14 06:10:25 PM  

lockers: bulldg4life: How good are these sandwiches?

They actually look pretty good. She isn't just slapping some ketchup on a hotdog.


Meh...once a month is no big deal.
 
2013-11-14 06:10:51 PM  
img.fark.net
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-14 06:11:14 PM  

Ambitwistor: Repeat or Followup, depending on how newsworthy the book deal is.


It isn't.  And her boyfriend does not like women.
//not that there is anything wrong with that.
 
2013-11-14 06:16:52 PM  
I know it's no-shave November, but she didn't have to grow a beard
 
2013-11-14 06:20:14 PM  
I'd settle for a turkey pot pie.

:/
 
2013-11-14 06:22:45 PM  

zabadu: Ambitwistor: Repeat or Followup, depending on how newsworthy the book deal is.

It isn't.  And her boyfriend does not like women.
//not that there is anything wrong with that.


That sounds exactly like something her boyfriend would say.

New, repeat, or followup... The point here cannot be reiterated enough.
 
2013-11-14 06:22:59 PM  

lockers: bulldg4life: How good are these sandwiches?

They actually look pretty good. She isn't just slapping some ketchup on a hotdog.


If she'd slapped some ketchup on his hot dog, she wouldn't have had to make the sammiches.

Admittedly, she'd have had to get his boyfriend to move first, but...
 
2013-11-14 06:28:43 PM  

mitchcumstein1: They show blowjobs on Today now?


Thread was over 84 posts ago.
 
2013-11-14 06:30:38 PM  

thecpt: Also: eat, gay love


Haha, I got that, but the men of Fark won't
 
2013-11-14 06:35:51 PM  
img.fark.net

media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2013-11-14 06:49:39 PM  
BJs... finish off sex each time with one.  More intense orgasm for them with the added bonus of less clean up for you later :-)
 
2013-11-14 06:58:37 PM  
So...so it's not the penis?
 
2013-11-14 07:24:21 PM  

KawaiiNot: Oh please. For the right man I 'd make him a home cooked breakfast every morning and good dinner most nights.


BS
 
2013-11-14 07:56:55 PM  
What I don't get is the faux outrage. They had an in-joke between them and suddenly the couple is a stand-in for all gender relations issues in the western world. Did this happen on a slow news day or something?
 
2013-11-14 07:57:31 PM  

megarian: So...so it's not the penis?


That's ambiguous in this instance
 
2013-11-14 08:01:56 PM  
img199.imageshack.us
 
2013-11-14 08:04:44 PM  
Fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.

// duh.
 
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