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(Today)   Reporter, world's greatest girlfriend, reveals the key to a man's heart   (today.com) divider line 139
    More: Followup, David Zinczenko, girlfriend  
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20211 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2013 at 4:48 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



139 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-14 02:12:27 PM
Oh god is that her boyfriend in the video?
 
2013-11-14 02:13:43 PM
#mensrights
 
2013-11-14 02:14:03 PM
media2.s-nbcnews.com
Who's the lesbian on the right?
 
2013-11-14 02:15:06 PM
Best of luck to the both of them.
 
2013-11-14 02:15:16 PM
I remember this shiat. She said he was a clone of Alexander Sarsgaard or whatever the fark, from True Blood.

SHE IS A LIAR AND A WHORE!
 
2013-11-14 02:15:24 PM

skybreaker: #mensrights


/r/mensrights
 
2013-11-14 02:15:29 PM
They show blowjobs on Today now?
 
2013-11-14 02:15:43 PM
He looks like he's wearing a bad toupee or something.
 
2013-11-14 02:15:50 PM

oldfarthenry: [media2.s-nbcnews.com image 412x309]
Who's the lesbian on the right?


It's nice to see that Carson Kressley found love.
 
2013-11-14 02:16:16 PM

LlamaGirl: I remember this shiat. She said he was a clone of Alexander Sarsgaard or whatever the fark, from True Blood.

SHE IS A LIAR AND A WHORE!


If this ho can make 300 sandwiches for that lesbo, then what's your excuse?
I think you're just mad that she's making you look bad.

Do you even sandwich, bro?
 
2013-11-14 02:16:24 PM
LOLOLOLOL

scallywagandvagabond.com
 
2013-11-14 02:16:34 PM
Also, I don't know which grosses me out more - this or the dude who turned his proposal into a 30-minute, multi-thousand dollar acting reel.
 
2013-11-14 02:17:28 PM
That's all it takes to get a book deal now?
 
2013-11-14 02:18:46 PM

ami5000: LOLOLOLOL

[scallywagandvagabond.com image 618x379]


All I can think is that scene in Drop Dead Gorgeous where Brittany Murphy's character screams that her brother is gay. Coz that guy is gay. Super gay.

What is with that look on his face? Did he smell a sour fart??
 
2013-11-14 02:19:18 PM

LlamaGirl: What is with that look on his face? Did he smell a sour fart??


His own.
 
2013-11-14 02:19:49 PM

LlamaGirl: All I can think is that scene in Drop Dead Gorgeous where Brittany Murphy's character screams that her brother is gay. Coz that guy is gay. Super gay.

What is with that look on his face? Did he smell a sour fart??


Oh yah? Well Peter is GAY! GAAAAY
 
2013-11-14 02:19:49 PM

Honest Bender: If this ho can make 300 sandwiches for that lesbo, then what's your excuse?
I think you're just mad that she's making you look bad.

Do you even sandwich, bro?


I ain't your bro, shiatass!
 
2013-11-14 02:19:56 PM

LlamaGirl: ami5000: LOLOLOLOL

[scallywagandvagabond.com image 618x379]

All I can think is that scene in Drop Dead Gorgeous where Brittany Murphy's character screams that her brother is gay. Coz that guy is gay. Super gay.

What is with that look on his face? Did he smell a sour fart??


He's imagining that he's balls deep in the cameraman's ass.
 
2013-11-14 02:20:43 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-14 02:22:37 PM
cdn.theatlanticwire.com
 
2013-11-14 02:23:15 PM

ami5000: LOLOLOLOL

[scallywagandvagabond.com image 618x379]


Is that a dude?
 
2013-11-14 02:24:24 PM

mitchcumstein1: Is that a dude?


Yes. That's the recipient of the 300 sandwiches.
 
2013-11-14 02:29:44 PM

ami5000: mitchcumstein1: Is that a dude?

Yes. That's the recipient of the 300 sandwiches.


I think so many farkers are suicidal now because that guy got sandwiches and all they get is yelled at and nagged.
 
2013-11-14 02:36:42 PM

ami5000: mitchcumstein1: Is that a dude?

Yes. That's the recipient of the 300 sandwiches.


Which he handed out to the crowd at the pride march.
 
2013-11-14 02:40:44 PM

LlamaGirl: ami5000: mitchcumstein1: Is that a dude?

Yes. That's the recipient of the 300 sandwiches.

I think so many farkers are suicidal now because that guy got sandwiches and all they get is yelled at and nagged.


I'm suicidal because THAT guy has a girlfriend that will do that and I'm single.
 
2013-11-14 02:45:19 PM

mitchcumstein1: LlamaGirl: ami5000: mitchcumstein1: Is that a dude?

Yes. That's the recipient of the 300 sandwiches.

I think so many farkers are suicidal now because that guy got sandwiches and all they get is yelled at and nagged.

I'm suicidal because THAT guy has a girlfriend that will do that and I'm single.


Life is hard.
 
2013-11-14 02:45:55 PM

ami5000: mitchcumstein1: LlamaGirl: ami5000: mitchcumstein1: Is that a dude?

Yes. That's the recipient of the 300 sandwiches.

I think so many farkers are suicidal now because that guy got sandwiches and all they get is yelled at and nagged.

I'm suicidal because THAT guy has a girlfriend that will do that and I'm single.

Life is hard.


Eh, I'm not that upset really.
 
2013-11-14 02:57:56 PM
He looks like a character from a Kids in the Hall sketch.
 
2013-11-14 03:04:37 PM
img.fark.net

He (?) looks like an early '90s Helen Hunt
 
2013-11-14 03:10:31 PM
Schulte had mainly been in charge of the cooking in the relationship, and the first time Smith made him a sandwich, he loved it so much that he declared she was "300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!"

Woman trades mating and nesting duties for commitment.  Ric Romero reports.
 
2013-11-14 03:20:49 PM
www.bite.ca

Approves.

/so baby give me sandwiches
 
2013-11-14 04:04:02 PM
Lessee...a key to a man's heart...hmm...

Blowjobs and don't be a nag / biatch.

Ta-da!
 
2013-11-14 04:31:17 PM

mitchcumstein1: LlamaGirl: ami5000: mitchcumstein1: Is that a dude?

Yes. That's the recipient of the 300 sandwiches.

I think so many farkers are suicidal now because that guy got sandwiches and all they get is yelled at and nagged.

I'm suicidal because THAT guy has a girlfriend that will do that and I'm single.


I'm single and would rather be that than be him.
 
2013-11-14 04:51:33 PM

Lando Lincoln: Lessee...a key to a man's heart...hmm...

Blowjobs and don't be a nag / biatch.

Ta-da!


This. Sammiches are just a nice-to-have bonus.
 
2013-11-14 04:51:40 PM

LlamaGirl: I think so many farkers are suicidal now because that guy got sandwiches and all they get is yelled at and nagged.


Nah, he's still a chump. My wife brings me a beer before giving me a blowjob while I watch a baseball game.
 
2013-11-14 04:52:15 PM
How good are these sandwiches?
 
2013-11-14 04:52:22 PM
Repeat or Followup, depending on how newsworthy the book deal is.
 
2013-11-14 04:52:24 PM

oldfarthenry: [media2.s-nbcnews.com image 412x309]
Who's the lesbian on the right?


Crispin Glover?  (not that there's anything wrong with that...)
 
2013-11-14 04:52:25 PM
Dude doesn't really understand the concept of "set a high bar"

300 sandwiches?  bah, most people could hit that goal in a few days

..... however, given the pictures provided so far, I think it's a safe bet he was not going to want 300 BJs from her or any woman.
 
2013-11-14 04:53:03 PM
He might like sandwiches, but he sure don't eat the muffin.
 
2013-11-14 04:53:28 PM
Hell, I'm old, and even I remember this farking story!

/Repeat tag overtired?
 
2013-11-14 04:55:52 PM
It's not the sandwiches you miss after you get married, it's the head.
 
2013-11-14 04:56:26 PM

LlamaGirl: I think so many farkers are suicidal now because that guy got sandwiches and all they get is yelled at and nagged.


upload.wikimedia.org

/first appropriate use?
//I'd like to buy a vowel....
 
2013-11-14 04:56:32 PM

skybreaker: #mensrights


You are right,  All mens rights activists are just sexists.  There are no valid issues that affect men and we shouldn't form groups to deal with those issues.  Men should just sit back and get screwed by the system....
 
2013-11-14 04:56:34 PM
Cue "Ian Beat Down" scene from High Fidelity.
 
2013-11-14 05:02:21 PM

SirTanon: 300 sandwiches? bah, most people could hit that goal in a few days


You sound fat.
 
2013-11-14 05:03:26 PM
I guess some women will do anything to be a gay mans' beard?
 
2013-11-14 05:03:36 PM

scottydoesntknow: He (?) looks like an early '90s Helen Hunt


I was thinking more Macauly Culkin in Party Monster.

Either way, the facial expression in the pic with TFA says, "she was supposed to curse me out, slam the door, the never come back. Not actually make the sandwiches."
 
2013-11-14 05:04:34 PM

bulldg4life: How good are these sandwiches?


They actually look pretty good. She isn't just slapping some ketchup on a hotdog.
 
2013-11-14 05:05:06 PM

Warlordtrooper: skybreaker: #mensrights

You are right,  All mens rights activists are just sexists.  There are no valid issues that affect men and we shouldn't form groups to deal with those issues.  Men should just sit back and get screwed by the system....


We're feeling a lot of pressure by the media to have boners all the time. While driving our trucks down country roads, preparing food in the kitchen, setting up a tent, after the opera...
We need to stand up! Or, wait for a few minutes till we can stand up, and say NO MORE!! We'll get hard when WE want to!
 
2013-11-14 05:05:15 PM
Blowjobs?

Sandwiches?

Ok judging by his pic, yea he's more interested in sandwiches than blowjobs from her.

/ladies, the answer is blowjobs.
 
2013-11-14 05:05:33 PM
Oh please. For the right man I 'd make him a home cooked breakfast every morning and good dinner most nights.
 
2013-11-14 05:05:48 PM

lockers: She isn't just slapping some ketchup on a hotdog.


Well, that's probably why the guy is asking for sandwiches.

/what?
 
2013-11-14 05:06:36 PM

AgentPothead: I guess some women will do anything to be a gay mans' beard?


300cdn.strategicinforma.netdna-cdn.com

You have a point
 
2013-11-14 05:11:24 PM

orclover: Blowjobs?

Sandwiches?

Ok judging by his pic, yea he's more interested in sandwiches than blowjobs from her.

/ladies, the answer is blowjobs.


This.  There is almost no relationship that couldn't be sustained with a higher application of blow jobs.
 
2013-11-14 05:20:08 PM
For the record.. Mrs. LeafOnTheWind makes kick ass samiches.
 
2013-11-14 05:20:49 PM
I'm not seeing a steak anywhere in this commentary.
/has anyone pointed out how ghey he looks?
 
2013-11-14 05:23:05 PM
He's nuts, she's nuts.
Not worth it.
Don't do it.
 
2013-11-14 05:25:42 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-11-14 05:26:46 PM
cltampa.com
 
2013-11-14 05:26:51 PM
Better enjoy those premarital sandwiches while you can.  Once you tie the knot you'll be lucky to see baloney on wonder bread once a month.
 
2013-11-14 05:28:15 PM

mitchcumstein1: They show blowjobs on Today now?


Eutamias21: oldfarthenry: [media2.s-nbcnews.com image 412x309]
Who's the lesbian on the right?

It's nice to see that Carson Kressley found love.


I see I'm, as usual, around 3 hours too late.
 
2013-11-14 05:29:01 PM

scottydoesntknow: [img.fark.net image 618x379]

He (?) looks like an early '90s Helen Hunt


That dude must have a penis that reaches his calves. It's the only explanation.
 
2013-11-14 05:30:00 PM
This wasn't interesting when we talked about it back in September.

Fark Thread
 
2013-11-14 05:31:46 PM

KawaiiNot: Oh please. For the right man I 'd make him a home cooked breakfast every morning and good dinner most nights.


...sounds like a grand slam. Will send in my application
 
2013-11-14 05:32:00 PM

lockers: bulldg4life: How good are these sandwiches?

They actually look pretty good. She isn't just slapping some ketchup on a hotdog.


I have a hot dog she can slap ketchup on..
 
2013-11-14 05:36:24 PM

KawaiiNot: Oh please. For the right man I 'd make him a home cooked breakfast every morning and good dinner most nights.





How YOU doin?
 
2013-11-14 05:39:56 PM
That's an awful lot of work to go through to land a gay dude.
 
2013-11-14 05:40:09 PM
Holee Shiat! When I first read this story, I thought it was pretty neat and that they were probably both going to make a great couple, then I watched this video. Turns out that this woman has to feed him to get his energy up before he goes down to the local leather bar, and if she doesn't, he won't allow her to be his beard anymore. The creepy factor has definitely been turned up past 11!
 
2013-11-14 05:40:12 PM

zabadu: This wasn't interesting when we talked about it back in September.

Fark Thread


This is a followup, talking about the ensuing book deal.
 
2013-11-14 05:45:27 PM
His favorite sandwiches are ones with sausage.

Tuna --- no so much.
 
2013-11-14 05:46:36 PM
Also: eat, gay love
 
2013-11-14 05:48:33 PM

ami5000: LOLOLOLOL


Is that a Culkin?
 
2013-11-14 05:48:52 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-11-14 05:53:03 PM
Awwww, why's all the crap being piled on this poor guy? Where's the misogyny? Why isn't anyone assuming she makes sandwiches in order to get him to forgive her spending all his money/sleeping with his friends/ruining his hobbies/nagging and biatching all the time/being ugly and fat, etc??

/thinks it's lame, but if it makes them happy, have at it
//makes chicken fried steak with gravy when I've done wrong (hardly ever make it because he will OD on mah good southern cookin')
 
2013-11-14 05:53:50 PM
I call bullshiat. The key to a man's heart is hot sex whenever. Suck him off, f*ck his brains out. Never had a problem doing this.
 
2013-11-14 05:53:51 PM
Sandwiches are clearly the only thing of hers he has any interest in eating
 
2013-11-14 05:53:58 PM

Eutamias21: LlamaGirl: ami5000: LOLOLOLOL

[scallywagandvagabond.com image 618x379]

All I can think is that scene in Drop Dead Gorgeous where Brittany Murphy's character screams that her brother is gay. Coz that guy is gay. Super gay.

What is with that look on his face? Did he smell a sour fart??

He's imagining that he's the cameraman's balls deep in the cameraman's his ass.


FTFY
 
2013-11-14 05:54:38 PM
CSB Time...
My wife and I always talk about our favorite restaurants and meals to cook.

Her favorite thing I make? Freshly grilled chicken sandwiches... spice rub, ditch that lettuce for whole leaf spinach, get a good cone ripened tomato, and POW!
 
2013-11-14 05:59:12 PM
300 bjs would be better
 
2013-11-14 06:00:49 PM

Bathia_Mapes: zabadu: This wasn't interesting when we talked about it back in September.

Fark Thread

This is a followup, talking about the ensuing book deal.


Also, your mom apparently missed it in September. Please do me a favor and forward it to her.
 
2013-11-14 06:02:18 PM

HappyGryphon: CSB Time...
My wife and I always talk about our favorite restaurants and meals to cook.

Her favorite thing I make? Freshly grilled chicken sandwiches... spice rub, ditch that lettuce for whole leaf spinach, get a good cone ripened tomato, and POW!




You just named my exact lunch today. If you would have added chipotle mustard my head would have assploded.
 
2013-11-14 06:09:42 PM
As for her march toward 300, Smith said she is at sandwich No. 197.
"As for what Eric's plans are, I have no idea when exactly he'll pop the question,'' she said.


I would think that would happen in 103 MORE SANDWICHES MAYBE???
 
2013-11-14 06:10:25 PM

lockers: bulldg4life: How good are these sandwiches?

They actually look pretty good. She isn't just slapping some ketchup on a hotdog.


Meh...once a month is no big deal.
 
2013-11-14 06:10:51 PM
img.fark.net
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-14 06:11:14 PM

Ambitwistor: Repeat or Followup, depending on how newsworthy the book deal is.


It isn't.  And her boyfriend does not like women.
//not that there is anything wrong with that.
 
2013-11-14 06:16:52 PM
I know it's no-shave November, but she didn't have to grow a beard
 
2013-11-14 06:20:14 PM
I'd settle for a turkey pot pie.

:/
 
2013-11-14 06:22:45 PM

zabadu: Ambitwistor: Repeat or Followup, depending on how newsworthy the book deal is.

It isn't.  And her boyfriend does not like women.
//not that there is anything wrong with that.


That sounds exactly like something her boyfriend would say.

New, repeat, or followup... The point here cannot be reiterated enough.
 
2013-11-14 06:22:59 PM

lockers: bulldg4life: How good are these sandwiches?

They actually look pretty good. She isn't just slapping some ketchup on a hotdog.


If she'd slapped some ketchup on his hot dog, she wouldn't have had to make the sammiches.

Admittedly, she'd have had to get his boyfriend to move first, but...
 
2013-11-14 06:28:43 PM

mitchcumstein1: They show blowjobs on Today now?


Thread was over 84 posts ago.
 
2013-11-14 06:30:38 PM

thecpt: Also: eat, gay love


Haha, I got that, but the men of Fark won't
 
2013-11-14 06:35:51 PM
img.fark.net

media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2013-11-14 06:49:39 PM
BJs... finish off sex each time with one.  More intense orgasm for them with the added bonus of less clean up for you later :-)
 
2013-11-14 06:58:37 PM
So...so it's not the penis?
 
2013-11-14 07:24:21 PM

KawaiiNot: Oh please. For the right man I 'd make him a home cooked breakfast every morning and good dinner most nights.


BS
 
2013-11-14 07:56:55 PM
What I don't get is the faux outrage. They had an in-joke between them and suddenly the couple is a stand-in for all gender relations issues in the western world. Did this happen on a slow news day or something?
 
2013-11-14 07:57:31 PM

megarian: So...so it's not the penis?


That's ambiguous in this instance
 
2013-11-14 08:01:56 PM
img199.imageshack.us
 
2013-11-14 08:04:44 PM
Fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.

// duh.
 
2013-11-14 08:18:40 PM
Keep his belly full, and his balls empty.
 
2013-11-14 08:25:58 PM
Aaaaaaaaaagh, another celebrity chef who's never worked in a restaurant? She simply makes food, ala Guy Fieri, not cuisine.

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-11-14 08:39:14 PM

LlamaGirl: ami5000: mitchcumstein1: Is that a dude?

Yes. That's the recipient of the 300 sandwiches.

I think so many farkers are suicidal now because that guy got sandwiches and all they get is yelled at and nagged.


Nice of you to point remind us of how much our lives suck .........   biatch

/I kid
 
2013-11-14 08:40:10 PM
OgreMagi:

Nice of you to point remind us of how much our lives suck

I can haz book on grammar?

/or learn to proofread before posting?
 
2013-11-14 08:55:01 PM

scottydoesntknow: [img.fark.net image 618x379]

He (?) looks like an early '90s Helen Hunt


crossed with a little K.D Lang.
 
2013-11-14 08:58:51 PM
Great story but why didn't they mention her friend Jodie Foster?
img.fark.net
 
2013-11-14 09:03:55 PM
i306.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-14 09:04:49 PM

lockers: AgentPothead: I guess some women will do anything to be a gay mans' beard?

[300cdn.strategicinforma.netdna-cdn.com image 800x514]

You have a point


Now she's starting to look like Mike Tyson.
/need sleep.
 
2013-11-14 09:07:16 PM

Lando Lincoln: Lessee...a key to a man's heart...hmm...

Blowjobs and don't be a nag / biatch.

Ta-da!


Traditionally, sandwiches are part of the deal too. But, yeah.
 
2013-11-14 09:08:07 PM
Wow.

He looks a lot like a guy who was a good friend of mine in high school.  Of course, my friend was queer as a three dollar bill....
 
2013-11-14 09:10:44 PM
DRTFA, but the answer should be "touch his penis", right?
 
2013-11-14 09:13:06 PM

LowbrowDeluxe: orclover: Blowjobs?

Sandwiches?

Ok judging by his pic, yea he's more interested in sandwiches than blowjobs from her.

/ladies, the answer is blowjobs.

This.  There is almost no relationship that couldn't be sustained with a higher application of blow jobs.


I've tested this. Great* for over two years, but I still left her.

* Great to have all those blow jobs!
 
2013-11-14 09:18:00 PM

DarkVader: Wow.

He looks a lot like a guy who was a good friend of mine in high school.  Of course, my friend was queer as a three dollar bill....


Yea, he looks about 5-10 years older than some of the twinks that at times did drag back in the day. Of course the makeup and plucked eyebrows aren't helping but hey if they're happy more power to them.

Oh, and yea, I've known some girls like her that for the most part are full on butch but really hot as well ; )
 
2013-11-14 09:26:30 PM

shiattynick: Holee Shiat! When I first read this story, I thought it was pretty neat and that they were probably both going to make a great couple, then I watched this video. Turns out that this woman has to feed him to get his energy up before he goes down to the local leather bar, and if she doesn't, he won't allow her to be his beard anymore. The creepy factor has definitely been turned up past 11!


It takes all kinds. His parents are going to be VERY happy!
 
2013-11-14 09:26:31 PM
While I appreciate a good blowjob, I also appreciate a good sammich.

And yeah, when I'm in a relationship, I usually do the vast majority of the cooking.  I've actually had women tell me they're intimidated by my food, that they don't want to cook for me because they think it'll disappoint me.  Unfortunately, none of them have approached this lady's level of sandwich creativity.
 
2013-11-14 09:40:58 PM

DarkVader: While I appreciate a good blowjob, I also appreciate a good sammich.

And yeah, when I'm in a relationship, I usually do the vast majority of the cooking.  I've actually had women tell me they're intimidated by my food, that they don't want to cook for me because they think it'll disappoint me.  Unfortunately, none of them have approached this lady's level of sandwich creativity.


You know there's a lot of good sandwich making blowjob giving guys out there right?
/What you never know you don't like it till you try it ; )
 
2013-11-14 09:50:13 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: DarkVader: While I appreciate a good blowjob, I also appreciate a good sammich.

And yeah, when I'm in a relationship, I usually do the vast majority of the cooking.  I've actually had women tell me they're intimidated by my food, that they don't want to cook for me because they think it'll disappoint me.  Unfortunately, none of them have approached this lady's level of sandwich creativity.

You know there's a lot of good sandwich making blowjob giving guys out there right?
/What you never know you don't like it till you try it ; )


How did you try it
 
2013-11-14 10:07:16 PM

thecpt: How did you try it


I know a lot of guys that like guys.

/Oh and some of them make sandwich's as well as other really good food.
// Oh and my cooking is basic at the most.
 
2013-11-14 10:33:53 PM
Doesn't hurt that she's smoking hot
 
2013-11-14 10:34:36 PM

Blues_X: He looks like a character from a Kids in the Hall sketch.


Perhaps he is confused about his dipping area.
 
2013-11-14 10:43:24 PM
Dear Ladies (and some gentlemen),

The key to a man's heart is blowjobs.

Sloppy

Wet

Cock-Craved

Rub it on every inch of your being

Love it like it has the Holy Spirit

Blow Jobs


Sex is fun, but on-your-knees, cock worshiping blowjobs will pretty much hook a man...
 
2013-11-14 11:28:21 PM
The article didn't mention anal. Not even once.

Bogus headline, Subby. :(
 
2013-11-14 11:32:05 PM
anyone point out he's a fagula?
 
2013-11-15 12:11:14 AM

Mr.Hawk: KawaiiNot: Oh please. For the right man I 'd make him a home cooked breakfast every morning and good dinner most nights.


How YOU doin?


seriously, has that ever worked in a fark thread?
 
2013-11-15 12:24:19 AM
I can make my own sandwiches.  I can't suck my own dick...
 
2013-11-15 12:25:53 AM

orclover: Blowjobs?

Sandwiches?

Ok judging by his pic, yea he's more interested in sandwiches than blowjobs from her.

/ladies, the answer is blowjobs.


No, I can say the answer is "say what you mean plainly". Bonus points for "asking for what you want". Also, don't get sandy if we jerk off because your idea of "regular and frequent sex" is quarterly.
 
2013-11-15 01:09:55 AM

Goimir: orclover: Blowjobs?

Sandwiches?

Ok judging by his pic, yea he's more interested in sandwiches than blowjobs from her.

/ladies, the answer is blowjobs.

No, I can say the answer is "say what you mean plainly". Bonus points for "asking for what you want". Also, don't get sandy if we jerk off because your idea of "regular and frequent sex" is quarterly.



Dude, you have got to get a blowjob sometime.  They are farking awesome.  Way the hell better than a sandwich.
 
2013-11-15 01:45:41 AM

GGracie: BJs... finish off sex each time with one.  More intense orgasm for them with the added bonus of less clean up for you later :-)


I WILL GIVE YOU 300 OF ANYTHING to marry me and have my children.

My potential children, that is.
 
2013-11-15 02:38:45 AM

orclover: Goimir: orclover: Blowjobs?

Sandwiches?

Ok judging by his pic, yea he's more interested in sandwiches than blowjobs from her.

/ladies, the answer is blowjobs.

No, I can say the answer is "say what you mean plainly". Bonus points for "asking for what you want". Also, don't get sandy if we jerk off because your idea of "regular and frequent sex" is quarterly.


Dude, you have got to get a blowjob sometime.  They are farking awesome.  Way the hell better than a sandwich.


I'd rather clear communication than a blowie to shut me up when I have reason to be pissed.
 
2013-11-15 02:40:37 AM

CeroX: Dear Ladies (and some gentlemen),

The key to a man's heart is blowjobs.

Sloppy

Wet

Cock-Craved

Rub it on every inch of your being

Love it like it has the Holy Spirit

Blow Jobs


Sex is fun, but on-your-knees, cock worshiping blowjobs will pretty much hook a man...


To each their own
 
2013-11-15 05:18:37 AM

Honest Bender: LlamaGirl: I remember this shiat. She said he was a clone of Alexander Sarsgaard or whatever the fark, from True Blood.

SHE IS A LIAR AND A WHORE!

If this ho can make 300 sandwiches for that lesbo, then what's your excuse?
I think you're just mad that she's making you look bad.

Do you even sandwich, bro?


You. New keyboard. You owe me.

/still laughing...
 
2013-11-15 12:51:12 PM
Umm...
img.fark.net

images4.wikia.nocookie.net

Something tells me this won't end well...
 
2013-11-15 01:33:33 PM
No... the fastest way to a man's heart is no gag reflex.
 
2013-11-15 01:34:03 PM
farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2013-11-15 01:49:22 PM
That is the oddest looking couple I think I have ever seen.  It's basically like a "what's wrong with this picture".
 
2013-11-15 02:49:16 PM

GGracie: BJs... finish off sex each time with one.  More intense orgasm for them with the added bonus of less clean up for you later :-)


You make some very good points and I wish to subscribe to any periodicals you may publish.
 
2013-11-15 03:46:40 PM

SirAnon: GGracie: BJs... finish off sex each time with one.  More intense orgasm for them with the added bonus of less clean up for you later :-)

You make some very good points and I wish to subscribe to any periodicals you may publish.



Fark owns my blow job monologues. I kept getting banned for them due to too much detail or some such silliness :-)
 
2013-11-15 11:10:06 PM

GGracie: SirAnon: GGracie: BJs... finish off sex each time with one.  More intense orgasm for them with the added bonus of less clean up for you later :-)

You make some very good points and I wish to subscribe to any periodicals you may publish.

Fark owns my blow job monologues. I kept getting banned for them due to too much detail or some such silliness :-)


I volunteer to help you write some new ones...
 
2013-11-15 11:13:38 PM

Goimir: CeroX: Dear Ladies (and some gentlemen),

The key to a man's heart is blowjobs.
Sloppy
Wet
Cock-Craved
Rub it on every inch of your being
Love it like it has the Holy Spirit
Blow Jobs

Sex is fun, but on-your-knees, cock worshiping blowjobs will pretty much hook a man...

To each their own


... as long as it's not mine.
 
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