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(Time)   Professors run toxicology tests on Fifty Shades of Grey library book, find it has herpes   (newsfeed.time.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, professors, masks, Antwerp  
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3252 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Nov 2013 at 2:23 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



25 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-14 01:28:11 PM  
Regular or Space?
 
2013-11-14 01:54:51 PM  
Cripes people. Have some respect for a library book.
I hope you at least unstuck the pages before returning it.
 
2013-11-14 02:04:16 PM  
While the experts found that all 10 books contained traces of cocaine-enough so that people who touched the books wouldn't feel the effects, but might test positive for the drug

Oh yeah, try explaining that one away if you failed a drug test........
 
2013-11-14 02:17:17 PM  

UberDave: Regular or Space?


Herpes simplex 10.
 
2013-11-14 02:23:18 PM  

basemetal: While the experts found that all 10 books contained traces of cocaine-enough so that people who touched the books wouldn't feel the effects, but might test positive for the drug

Oh yeah, try explaining that one away if you failed a drug test........


I'd rather confess to doing drugs.
 
2013-11-14 02:25:16 PM  
At least the book is guaranteed to come back.
 
2013-11-14 02:30:30 PM  
Those books are whores; dirty, filthy whores, just allowing the first person in line at the Antwerp Library to put their hands on them.
 
2013-11-14 02:31:32 PM  
While the experts found that all 10 books contained traces of cocaine-enough so that people who touched the books wouldn't feel the effects, but might test positive for the drug

Who takes library books to a coke party? What the hell Belgium.
 
2013-11-14 02:32:21 PM  

dittybopper: UberDave: Regular or Space?

Herpes simplex 10.


Someone needs to revoke Victor Maitland's library card.
 
2013-11-14 02:36:50 PM  
But did they test THIS book:

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-11-14 02:41:01 PM  
Reminds me of the microbiologist who proved that, yes, you can get VD from a toilet seat.
 
2013-11-14 03:05:32 PM  
When did strippers learn to read?
 
2013-11-14 03:06:25 PM  
Now with 100% more spooge?
 
2013-11-14 03:09:02 PM  
Did they test the pop-up version of the book, too?
 
2013-11-14 03:19:11 PM  
I think my mom's old bible has the plague.
 
Slu
2013-11-14 03:19:22 PM  
Since I only check out ebooks from the library, I guess I beat the system.

Just kidding. I don't read any books. But you can check out ebooks from my library.
 
2013-11-14 03:32:07 PM  
I did not have sexual relations with that bo....ok   I DID IT ooo yahh baby

assets0.ordienetworks.com
 
2013-11-14 03:35:52 PM  
Too true to be good.
 
2013-11-14 03:37:23 PM  
Remember when the cops used to test money for cocaine, so they could impound it as 'ohmagerd!!! drug money!!!'.....

But Wait, they still test it for cocaine and since 50%-80% of currency has traces, its an easy way to rob people of legitimately obtained currency.

/Now lick your finger and turn the page. Now lick your finger and turn the page. ewwwwwwwwwww.
 
2013-11-14 04:01:39 PM  
My God, it even gave my Kindle herpes!
 
2013-11-14 04:02:40 PM  

sheep snorter: Remember when the cops used to test money for cocaine, so they could impound it as 'ohmagerd!!! drug money!!!'.....

But Wait, they still test it for cocaine and since 50%-80% of currency has traces, its an easy way to rob people of legitimately obtained currency.

/Now lick your finger and turn the page. Now lick your finger and turn the page. ewwwwwwwwwww.


Congress removed the requirement that it be tainted with drugs.  Now the cops can just take all your money because they feel like it.
 
2013-11-14 04:09:03 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: sheep snorter: Remember when the cops used to test money for cocaine, so they could impound it as 'ohmagerd!!! drug money!!!'.....

But Wait, they still test it for cocaine and since 50%-80% of currency has traces, its an easy way to rob people of legitimately obtained currency.

/Now lick your finger and turn the page. Now lick your finger and turn the page. ewwwwwwwwwww.

Congress removed the requirement that it be tainted with drugs.  Now the cops can just take all your money because they feel like it.


And shoot your dog too!
 
2013-11-14 05:55:20 PM  
Holy FARK! I just got a bunch of Grisham novels from my library today! I always get books from the library. Am I doomed?
 
2013-11-14 07:44:20 PM  
www.thecultofbrand.com

Some folks just really love reading
 
2013-11-14 08:39:48 PM  
Doesn't everybody already have some strain of the herpes virus?
 
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