If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WESH Orlando)   49 states can levy fines for cutting down trees. Florida, because they're Florida, imposes fines for planting them   (wesh.com) divider line 41
    More: Florida, 49th state  
•       •       •

3317 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2013 at 8:40 AM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-14 08:43:48 AM
As long as I can put on women's clothing and hang around in bars, I'm set. Thankyouverymuch.
 
2013-11-14 08:44:45 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: As long as I can put on women's clothing and hang around in bars, I'm set. Thankyouverymuch.


I'm OK with this.
 
2013-11-14 08:46:55 AM
Um... does the HOA know that the trees will... grow?
 
2013-11-14 08:48:13 AM
Oh, and subby- it's not 'Florida' that's fining him, it's his farking HOA.
 
2013-11-14 08:48:48 AM
In before "And this is why I'll never live in an HOA" crowd chime in.
 
2013-11-14 08:52:33 AM
If only there were some way to avoid this type of situation!
 
2013-11-14 08:55:58 AM
Just saw the video. Guy is trying to elicit sympathy because he's a veteran? He can't plant that trees that he wants? Waaaaahhhh.

They should fine him $10,000.
 
2013-11-14 08:59:17 AM

fredklein: Oh, and subby- it's not 'Florida' that's fining him, it's his farking HOA.


Very true, but Smits is so stupid he probably thinks only Florida has HOAs and people that don't follow the rules.

fredklein: Um... does the HOA know that the trees will... grow?


The story stated that the trees must have been at least 6 feet tall when planted and the home owner planted seedlings.  Sounds like he was trying to get away cheaply.
 
2013-11-14 09:00:18 AM
HOAs have way too much power in this freakin state.  Someone needs to reel them in a bit.  I've seen too many crazy stories like this where HOAs go over the top.

One thing that I learned having lived in an HOA community is to stay involved in the HOA.  Go to meetings, don't just ignore them and think they'll leave you alone.

I know this is kind of a stretch, but it's like the government, if you don't vote, you can't complain about the idiots in Washington.  If you don't participate in the HOA and don't RTFM, you also have no right to complain.

/just my 2 cents
 
2013-11-14 09:04:26 AM
While I dislike HOA's with a passion, those are two of the smallest trees I've ever seen, and he says they've been there a year already?
 
2013-11-14 09:07:52 AM
I filed a complaint with my HOA last year about people parking on the north side of our street. As did a number of my neighbors.

I normally wouldn't care about such a thing, except there's "No Parking" signs all along it. Because it's only about 22 feet wide. So when you get dickheads that park on the wrong side across from people who park on the correct side, you wind up with a roadway that's only about 10 feet wide and traffic can't move in both directions. What's really galling though is that the people who routinely parked on the wrong side didn't have to, they just didn't park in their driveway (or, more often than not since everyone has at least two car garages on the street, in the goddamn garage) for whatever dumbass reason or didn't want to park on the proper side because then they'd have to walk across the street. Which would have apparently been just too much effort, I don't know.

The HOA warned them, trimmed a few tree branches around the signs (although none were actually blocked) and threatened repeat violators with fines.

Now people don't park on that side anymore and I don't come around the corner at the entrance and have to come to a full stop on the road, jamming up people behind me, because the person coming out had to drive right down the middle of the road thanks to the lazy assholes.

I'll never live in another area that doesn't have a HOA unless I'm on property that gives me several thousand feet of wooded area on all sides from my neighbors. If I'm going to have to live near people, I'm going to make sure I have legal options to force them to not be assholes. Because otherwise some number will be assholes and, unfortunately, it only takes one asshole among dozens of households to aggravate everyone when you're rooted by a concrete foundation right next to them.

/ it's really not that hard to read the covenant before you sign it anyway
// it's also not hard to simply walk away from a house with an unreasonable covenant but, again... it sort of requires taking a few moments to actually READ IT before signing it...
 
2013-11-14 09:12:40 AM

chewielouie: In before "And this is why I'll never live in an HOA" crowd chime in.


There are people that actually do so voluntarily?
 
2013-11-14 09:14:09 AM

ReapTheChaos: While I dislike HOA's with a passion, those are two of the smallest trees I've ever seen, and he says they've been there a year already?


I thought so too.  Southern Magnolias grow like weeds down here.
 
2013-11-14 09:15:07 AM

sendtodave: chewielouie: In before "And this is why I'll never live in an HOA" crowd chime in.

There are people that actually do so voluntarily?


Depending on where you live in FL, it's nearly impossible to avoid them.

Mine is fairly benign.  And we get alot of services for the price.
 
2013-11-14 09:16:50 AM
I forget where I heard this story, but apparently some guy decided he liked a tree that the city had planted alongside a road, and set out one night to aquire it. He had just finished uprooting it when a cop pulls in behind him and asks him what the hell he thought he was doing. The guy says "Uh....I bought this tree for my wife and she didn't like it, so I thought I'd put it here." Cop says "You can't plant trees here! Put that thing back in your car and get the hell out of here".

/Oh, and fark HOAs
 
2013-11-14 09:17:06 AM

Diogenes: Depending on where you live in FL, it's nearly impossible to avoid them.

Mine is fairly benign.  And we get alot of services for the price.


Same here.  The dirty little secret is that it's a voluntary association.
 
2013-11-14 09:21:38 AM
Perhaps it's because trees will outlive most of the residents?
 
2013-11-14 09:28:08 AM
Magnolias grow very very slowly.  I've planted quite a few trees and don't think I've ever seen any type that grow more slowly.  And the odd thing is that their wood is so soft.

/There's a penor joke in there somewhere
 
2013-11-14 09:32:44 AM

FLMountainMan: Magnolias grow very very slowly.  I've planted quite a few trees and don't think I've ever seen any type that grow more slowly.  And the odd thing is that their wood is so soft.

/There's a penor joke in there somewhere


The one in my back yard must be in a really sweet spot because I swear it gains two feet every year.
 
2013-11-14 09:40:20 AM
I live in the same county. Nothing about the story surprised me. I hate HOAs with a passion; we have a voluntary one in our tract, but no agreement was signed and they have no power other than strutting around telling people to stop parking their cars in the driveways and making rude remarks about your front yard. I routinely tell them to fark off, and I have been labeled a "problem resident."

That being said, I have to ask 1) didn't he read the contract he signed, and 2) what the hell his veteran status has to do with anything.
 
2013-11-14 09:44:48 AM
I was going to say this is a minor issue, he should fix it.  Now that I see it is Magnolia trees we are talking about, beat him senseless.  I hate those trees.  They are pretty for much of summer, but during autumn, they are the worse tree to clean up after.  The wife once mentioned seeing if Magnolia trees could grow in MI, I replied, "The hell you say."  It isn't the harsh winters it would have to worry about, it's my chainsaw.
 
2013-11-14 09:50:01 AM
Man fined $5,000 by HOA for trees that are too short

Disapproves:
static01.mediaite.com
 
2013-11-14 09:51:38 AM

Diogenes: FLMountainMan: Magnolias grow very very slowly.  I've planted quite a few trees and don't think I've ever seen any type that grow more slowly.  And the odd thing is that their wood is so soft.

/There's a penor joke in there somewhere

The one in my back yard must be in a really sweet spot because I swear it gains two feet every year.


Damn.  I planted one in a duplex I lived in five years ago.  I bought a house a few blocks away, so I see the tree a lot.  I swear it's maybe grown a foot since I've seen it.  Maybe it is a soil thing or something.

OTOH - I have a sixty-foot tall one in my backyard.  Thing's enormous and pretty much ensures that no grass will ever grow back there.
 
2013-11-14 09:51:57 AM

sendtodave: chewielouie: In before "And this is why I'll never live in an HOA" crowd chime in.

There are people that actually do so voluntarily?


Yes, due to their persistence fear that, in the absence of a covenant, everyone on their block would simultaneously place a Trans-Am on blocks in the driveway and blare Skynrd until 3am while revving it.
 
2013-11-14 09:54:46 AM

StrikitRich: Diogenes: Depending on where you live in FL, it's nearly impossible to avoid them.

Mine is fairly benign.  And we get alot of services for the price.

Same here.  The dirty little secret is that it's a voluntary association.


Huh. Didn't know that. I though that

Membership in the homeowners association by a residential buyer is typically a condition of purchase; a buyer isn't given an option to reject it.
 
2013-11-14 09:54:55 AM
Reason #<insert random number here> Why I will never be a member of an HOA.

That said, I really have little sympathy for people in HOAs who then find themselves being screwed by it. It didn't take much effort to make sure my house wasn't a part of one, ask the realtor if you're working with one, if not do a little digging.
 
2013-11-14 09:57:40 AM
-1 subby -- an HOA may think it's a governmental entity, but it's still not the actual State.
 
2013-11-14 10:01:00 AM

tricycleracer: Yes, due to their persistence fear that, in the absence of a covenant, everyone on their block would simultaneously place a Trans-Am on blocks in the driveway and blare Skynrd until 3am while revving it.


We don't have any covenants or anything here, but I'd never do something like that. it would disturb the chickens and the goats. But I have to keep the car in the driveway, even if it is broken, because the cat rescue is taking up most of the garage.
 
2013-11-14 10:01:32 AM

FLMountainMan: Diogenes: FLMountainMan: Magnolias grow very very slowly.  I've planted quite a few trees and don't think I've ever seen any type that grow more slowly.  And the odd thing is that their wood is so soft.

/There's a penor joke in there somewhere

The one in my back yard must be in a really sweet spot because I swear it gains two feet every year.

Damn.  I planted one in a duplex I lived in five years ago.  I bought a house a few blocks away, so I see the tree a lot.  I swear it's maybe grown a foot since I've seen it.  Maybe it is a soil thing or something.

OTOH - I have a sixty-foot tall one in my backyard.  Thing's enormous and pretty much ensures that no grass will ever grow back there.


I harvest the seed bulbs every year, dry them out, paint them, and make them into Christmas tree ornaments.

Fark that Martha Stewart biatch!
 
2013-11-14 10:01:41 AM
As soon as I opened the article and saw the word "Florida" right before "HOA", I backed away.
 
2013-11-14 10:23:24 AM

Sean M: -1 subby -- an HOA may think it's a governmental entity, but it's still not the actual State.


And therein lies the problem: it's a government that doesn't have to follow the rules of other governments.  All the power of a government and all the responsibility of a corporation.  It's something that liberals and conservatives alike can hate.
 
2013-11-14 10:33:54 AM

skozlaw: I'll never live in another area that doesn't have a HOA


As if we had any doubt you'd be one of those people, Mr Grump.
 
2013-11-14 10:37:03 AM
I believe there are a number of trees that are considered invasive species in Florida, including the Brazilian Pepper tree, which you need a permit to even possess. Planting one without a permit could get you a fine of $1,000 or more depending on how much of an asshat you are.
 
2013-11-14 10:40:23 AM

fredklein: Oh, and subby- it's not 'Florida' that's fining him, it's his farking HOA.


This.

And we all know HOAs = The Devil

Seriously, who the FARK agrees to buy a property with an HOA. I guess I could see it for an old retired couple or something, but otherwise, yikes.
 
2013-11-14 10:42:00 AM

skozlaw: I filed a complaint with my HOA last year about people parking on the north side of our street. As did a number of my neighbors.

I normally wouldn't care about such a thing, except there's "No Parking" signs all along it. Because it's only about 22 feet wide. So when you get dickheads that park on the wrong side across from people who park on the correct side, you wind up with a roadway that's only about 10 feet wide and traffic can't move in both directions. What's really galling though is that the people who routinely parked on the wrong side didn't have to, they just didn't park in their driveway (or, more often than not since everyone has at least two car garages on the street, in the goddamn garage) for whatever dumbass reason or didn't want to park on the proper side because then they'd have to walk across the street. Which would have apparently been just too much effort, I don't know.

The HOA warned them, trimmed a few tree branches around the signs (although none were actually blocked) and threatened repeat violators with fines.

Now people don't park on that side anymore and I don't come around the corner at the entrance and have to come to a full stop on the road, jamming up people behind me, because the person coming out had to drive right down the middle of the road thanks to the lazy assholes.

I'll never live in another area that doesn't have a HOA unless I'm on property that gives me several thousand feet of wooded area on all sides from my neighbors. If I'm going to have to live near people, I'm going to make sure I have legal options to force them to not be assholes. Because otherwise some number will be assholes and, unfortunately, it only takes one asshole among dozens of households to aggravate everyone when you're rooted by a concrete foundation right next to them.

/ it's really not that hard to read the covenant before you sign it anyway
// it's also not hard to simply walk away from a house with an unreasonable covenant but, again... it sor ...


You know that's what police do for the rest of us, right?

Narrow road, parked where there are no parking signs? The cops will ticket and or tow. Problem solved.

And cops don't try to tell me how often to mow my lawn or what height my trees need to be.
 
2013-11-14 11:23:14 AM

sendtodave: StrikitRich: Diogenes: Depending on where you live in FL, it's nearly impossible to avoid them.

Mine is fairly benign.  And we get alot of services for the price.

Same here.  The dirty little secret is that it's a voluntary association.

Huh. Didn't know that. I though that

Membership in the homeowners association by a residential buyer is typically a condition of purchase; a buyer isn't given an option to reject it.


I was referring to my HOA being voluntary, not all in general.  My community does require you to join when you move in, but if you drop out later there's nothing they can do but cut off community services.  The funny thing about that is those that drop out are usually the ones that complain the most, and because they didn't pay their annual $50 dues (yes, only $50) they aren't allowed in to the monthly board or semi-annual homeowners meetings to gripe.

My brother, for example, lived in a community in Panama City that had a mandatory HOA imposed by St. Joes Company, the landowner/developer.  He's since transferred back up to Virginia and the HOA there is a much bigger PITA
 
2013-11-14 02:11:54 PM

SpectroBoy: fredklein: Oh, and subby- it's not 'Florida' that's fining him, it's his farking HOA.

This.

And we all know HOAs = The Devil

Seriously, who the FARK agrees to buy a property with an HOA. I guess I could see it for an old retired couple or something, but otherwise, yikes.


I don't suggest you move to Orlando, then. It is pretty tough to find property here that isn't out of town, without an HOA. I have lived in several here and they are not all bad. As one earlier poster said, you just need to read the agreement and make sure they are not too draconian.
 
2013-11-14 02:12:57 PM
In other news, the same HOA has decreed that female residents who have given birth are not allowed to bring their children home until they are at least six feet tall

///snark
 
2013-11-14 02:36:35 PM

tricycleracer: sendtodave: chewielouie: In before "And this is why I'll never live in an HOA" crowd chime in.

There are people that actually do so voluntarily?

Yes, due to their persistence fear that, in the absence of a covenant, everyone on their block would simultaneously place a Trans-Am on blocks in the driveway and blare Skynrd until 3am while revving it.


I see you've been to my block.
 
2013-11-14 03:39:36 PM
Next time he should hire a professional Shrubber
 
2013-11-14 04:28:19 PM
Accusing Florida for being responsible for an invention of Massychewshiats?   Stupid.
 
Displayed 41 of 41 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report