If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Tennessean)   Next time your mom threatens to wash your mouth out with soap, hand her this   (tennessean.com) divider line 43
    More: Cool, Ice Cream Parlor, Brooklyn Brewery, pale ales, coconut oil, farming, soaps, mouths  
•       •       •

15167 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Nov 2013 at 12:26 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-14 12:29:15 AM
You will get out the shower feeling as fresh as a hobo!
 
2013-11-14 12:30:50 AM
Well, I rather hand her her Mommy's Girl. She is my mum anyway, and she deserves something cuddly.
 
2013-11-14 12:34:05 AM

harrydorcas: Well, I rather hand her her Mommy's Girl. She is my mum anyway, and she deserves something cuddly.


WTF is that?
 
2013-11-14 12:36:21 AM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-11-14 12:38:14 AM
Narrator: [about the soap] "Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling stupid Farkers their own beer puke back to them."


img2.timeinc.net
 
2013-11-14 12:41:52 AM
1-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2013-11-14 12:44:13 AM

Loucifer: [i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Soap... poisoning.
 
2013-11-14 12:45:11 AM

harrydorcas: Well, I rather hand her her Mommy's Girl. She is my mum anyway, and she deserves something cuddly.


Ok that filled my USDA recommended allowance of creepy-as-fark and the day isn't even a hour old yet....
 
2013-11-14 12:47:33 AM
cmsimg.tennessean.com

How much you wanna bet that this Hipster couple here is eating their soap and then farking that goat? (to make sure they act like "authentic" farmers!)
 
2013-11-14 12:48:00 AM
Fark that, I'd rather give my mom some Krokodil and a nice, empty back alley.
 
2013-11-14 12:58:38 AM

Mrbogey: Loucifer: [i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]

Soap... poisoning.


Oh fudge.
 
2013-11-14 01:00:01 AM
Fast as fast can be, You'll never catch me! - Jack Ching Bada Bing

i thought i remembered liking that show as a kid, so i youtube'd it... fark... now I think i should have been on medication as a kid
 
2013-11-14 01:01:22 AM

GreatGlavinsGhost: harrydorcas: Well, I rather hand her her Mommy's Girl. She is my mum anyway, and she deserves something cuddly.

WTF is that?


Your soul perishing.
 
2013-11-14 01:06:34 AM
In high school I got sent for punishment from my vice-principal because, and this was the description, I "swore like a sailor".

In college I became an atheist so Damn fell out of my vocabulary because it became a meaningless phrase.

Then I studied air traffic control. Since there was an FCC and FAA oversight of the radio frequency and I was recorded my language completely cleaned up. No farks or damns or anything I didn't want to show up on a government form.

Now I just don't speak much. I'm a farking hermit.
 
2013-11-14 01:09:52 AM
If  handed my mom a bar of beer soap , i would get a death glare.
 
2013-11-14 01:23:52 AM
"Why is there BEER IN THE SOAP?"
"I made it myself!"
 
2013-11-14 01:28:47 AM
 How did this young couple (investment banker and designer of I don't know what) get rich enough to buy a hobby farm, and be perfect, and so on?
Was it handed down to them? Along with the education to make them look like they did all themselves?
When I was their age I certainly was not so well off.
 
2013-11-14 01:35:06 AM

Son of Thunder: "Why is there BEER IN THE SOAP?"
"I made it myself!"


fc01.deviantart.net

Thanks Gir!
 
2013-11-14 01:40:37 AM
Jackalope Brewing Co

Nashville brewery


That's absurd. There are no jackalopes in Tennessee. Wyoming should sue.
 
2013-11-14 01:41:59 AM
I  can see it now. You get pulled over for an improper turn, and the officer says you smell like beer. He asks you to get out of the car, and asks if he can search your car... Pray you're not in New Mexico!
 
2013-11-14 02:10:41 AM
 
2013-11-14 02:14:39 AM
Someone better tell the Freedmenmen someone is infringing on their copyright. Muave'bib is going to be pissed.
 
2013-11-14 02:19:16 AM
My mom did that to me once, ONCE!
Been sticking my tongue out at her ever since.
 
2013-11-14 02:23:08 AM
I read the headline as, "Next time your mom threatens to wash your mouth out with soap, hit her tits".
 
2013-11-14 02:35:47 AM

aerojockey: I read the headline as, "Next time your mom threatens to wash your mouth out with soap, hit her tits".


You're not alone.

/Well, you might be, but at least we misread the headline together.
 
2013-11-14 02:39:12 AM

DarkSoulNoHope: [cmsimg.tennessean.com image 300x303]

How much you wanna bet that this Hipster couple here is eating their soap and then farking that goat? (to make sure they act like "authentic" farmers!)


***shakes tiny fist**** dammit beat me too the hipster punch!!!
media.avclub.com
 
2013-11-14 02:41:02 AM

fusillade762: Jackalope Brewing Co

Nashville brewery

That's absurd. There are no jackalopes in Tennessee. Wyoming Texas should sue.


/FTFY
 
2013-11-14 02:50:19 AM
My personal preference is for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice... piquant, after-dinner flavor. Heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness.
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-14 03:16:34 AM
I'm wondering if this is a problem that a lot of farkers have to deal with?
 
2013-11-14 03:53:52 AM

Kahabut: I'm wondering if this is a problem that a lot of farkers have to deal with?


I think that's what Subby was implying.

/Actually came here to post "I see what you implied there, Subby"
 
2013-11-14 04:14:23 AM

eas81: DarkSoulNoHope: [cmsimg.tennessean.com image 300x303]

How much you wanna bet that this Hipster couple here is eating their soap and then farking that goat? (to make sure they act like "authentic" farmers!)

***shakes tiny fist**** dammit beat me too the hipster punch!!!
[media.avclub.com image 627x352]


Sorry, didn't mean to beat someone out to the punch! Though it didn't really take much to see the Hipster qualities, including the caption below their photo indicates that he used to be an investment banker and she used to be a fashion designer, so I would mostly say it's in the realm of "Yuppie Hipsters seeking authenticity" for this couple. Their website does them no justice if they are farkers and want to defend their Hipster mentalities as "We're not Hipsters!" if you want to take a look see: http://littleseedfarm.com/ Plus, what kind of farmer has clean skinny jeans, a light grey unstained shirt, and decides on also wearing a hat during a day when there are thick, dark clouds overhead?! Plus this quote from the guy's own Hipster mouth, "(We) are really excited about it, because there is nothing out there like it," James said. I am sure one less investment banker is a good thing to have in this world, we didn't gain much in getting a goat farmer who now also makes beer soap.
 
2013-11-14 06:56:44 AM
These people....

cmsimg.tennessean.com

Are not farmers.  They are goat herders at the most.  Just because you own a few animals doesn't make you a farmer.

/my father is currently out in the fields for 10 hours a day harvesting corn
//not to mention the additional 8 hours of just general farm maintenance (feeding animals, checking temps in barns, working on new litters, cleaning shiat, fixing tractors)
///its the busy time of the year
 
2013-11-14 07:02:21 AM
Paul Harvey said it best:

"And on the 8th day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, "I need a caretaker." So God made a farmer.

God said, "I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, milk cows, work all day in the fields, milk cows again, eat supper and then go to town and stay past midnight at a meeting of the school board." So God made a farmer.

"I need somebody with arms strong enough to rustle a calf and yet gentle enough to deliver his own grandchild. Somebody to call hogs, tame cantankerous machinery, come home hungry, have to wait lunch until his wife's done feeding visiting ladies and tell the ladies to be sure and come back real soon -- and mean it." So God made a farmer.

God said, "I need somebody willing to sit up all night with a newborn colt. And watch it die. Then dry his eyes and say, 'Maybe next year.' I need somebody who can shape an ax handle from a persimmon sprout, shoe a horse with a hunk of car tire, who can make harness out of haywire, feed sacks and shoe scraps. And who, planting time and harvest season, will finish his forty-hour week by Tuesday noon, then, pain'n from 'tractor back,' put in another seventy-two hours." So God made a farmer.
God had to have somebody willing to ride the ruts at double speed to get the hay in ahead of the rain clouds and yet stop in mid-field and race to help when he sees the first smoke from a neighbor's place. So God made a farmer.

God said, "I need somebody strong enough to clear trees and heave bails, yet gentle enough to tame lambs and wean pigs and tend the pink-combed pullets, who will stop his mower for an hour to splint the broken leg of a meadow lark. It had to be somebody who'd plow deep and straight and not cut corners. Somebody to seed, weed, feed, breed and rake and disc and plow and plant and tie the fleece and strain the milk and replenish the self-feeder and finish a hard week's work with a five-mile drive to church.

"Somebody who'd bale a family together with the soft strong bonds of sharing, who would laugh and then sigh, and then reply, with smiling eyes, when his son says he wants to spend his life 'doing what dad does.'" So God made a farmer."
 
2013-11-14 07:22:32 AM
I know most Farkers still live with their moms, but aren't they a little old to be getting their mouths washed out with soap?
 
2013-11-14 07:30:32 AM

Burr: These people....
Are not farmers. They are goat herders at the most.


At least they are not half-witted and scruffy looking.

/Not sure about stuck-up
 
2013-11-14 07:51:46 AM
"...all these goats are retarded."
 
2013-11-14 08:51:53 AM
I would plow her field if you know what I mean.....

But I don't think you do, because you aren't hipster farmers, you never heard of it.
 
2013-11-14 09:15:16 AM
The life of a goat herder is easy.  The goats take care of themselves.

imgc.allpostersimages.com
 
2013-11-14 11:35:29 AM

aerojockey: I read the headline as, "Next time your mom threatens to wash your mouth out with soap, hit her tits".


static2.businessinsider.com

I read it as 'hand her tits'.
 
2013-11-14 11:47:48 AM

ybishop: My personal preference is for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice... piquant, after-dinner flavor. Heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness.
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 222x240]


Lifebuoy on the other hand...
 
2013-11-14 12:18:41 PM

Shadyman: Kahabut: I'm wondering if this is a problem that a lot of farkers have to deal with?

I think that's what Subby was implying.

/Actually came here to post "I see what you implied there, Subby"


I first submitted it with "Finally a reason for Farkers to take a shower" which I felt was much more appropriate. Apparently mods disagreed or still felt like it wasn't a good enough reason to shower.
 
2013-11-14 02:38:48 PM
came for Ralphie reference, leaving satisfied;
greatest Xmas movie, EVER
 
2013-11-14 04:34:45 PM
Damn dirty clean hippies.
 
Displayed 43 of 43 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report