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(WWSB ABC 7)   If the man in the doughnut drive-thru says he's a cop and asks for a discount, then offers proof by showing off his gun and saying 'see, I'm a cop', he's probably in not a cop   ( mysuncoast.com) divider line
    More: Florida, offer of proof, discounts, guns  
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2852 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2013 at 12:47 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-13 12:50:02 PM  
If he says he's a flasher and shows me his penis, should I believe him?
 
2013-11-13 12:51:12 PM  
What's up with this new Dirtbag font I keep seeing in Fark article links?
 
2013-11-13 12:51:31 PM  
That's a dumb ass reason to go to jail.
 
2013-11-13 12:53:00 PM  
He's a cop
 
2013-11-13 12:53:04 PM  
I met a nice-looking man in a bar once (hey, I worked there) and he told me that he was a Secret Service agent--well, actually he didn't, he said something coy like, "I'm here taking care of those politicians who are here." When I said, nuh-uh, he pulled the leg of his nicely-tailored pants and showed me a small gun strapped to his ankle.

Why yes, two former presidents were in town right then.

/Sure, maybe he was an assassin. In that case, he must have failed because they are both still alive. .
 
2013-11-13 12:54:16 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: That's a dumb ass reason to go to jail.


Who are we to say the value of a donut to another man?
 
2013-11-13 12:56:18 PM  
He's got a gun, and all he's looking for is a discount at a doughnut shop? He's a terrible criminal.
 
2013-11-13 12:59:09 PM  
"he's probably in not a cop "

/headline fail
// never been in a cop
/// maybe a few cop cars though
 
2013-11-13 12:59:43 PM  
Subby: "he's probably in not a cop"

My question would be, does the not a cop know he's in him? And how did he get in the not a cop?
 
2013-11-13 01:00:20 PM  

Super_Agro_Craig: He's got a gun, and all he's looking for is a discount at a doughnut shop? He's a terrible criminal.


Just another responsible gun owner.
 
2013-11-13 01:01:08 PM  
I consider myself a pretty good looking guy and one day I went into a local bar and told the girl working there that I was in town to to take care of some Polish statisticians.  She didn't believe me, and well she shouldn't.  I'm a pathological liar.  Since I figured my chances were shot anyway I took and chance, lifted my trouser leg and showed her the tip of my penis, which I keep strapped to my ankle due to it's incredible length and, consequently, aptness to get stuck in the chain of my bicycle.  It must have been darker in there than I thought because she somehow mistook it for a firearm.

/CSB
 
2013-11-13 01:01:39 PM  

lilbjorn: Super_Agro_Craig: He's got a gun, and all he's looking for is a discount at a doughnut shop? He's a terrible criminal.

Just another responsible gun owner.


Seriously. I mean, he should've asked for a free doughnut.
 
2013-11-13 01:03:50 PM  
Farking New Guy:
// never been in a cop

It's not so bad, once you get used to it.
 
2013-11-13 01:07:55 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-11-13 01:10:04 PM  

Farking New Guy: "he's probably in not a cop "

/headline fail
// never been in a cop
/// maybe a few cop cars though


Be nice.  Subby has a hare lip.
 
2013-11-13 01:11:37 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: I consider myself a pretty good looking guy and one day I went into a local bar and told the girl working there that I was in town to to take care of some Polish statisticians.  She didn't believe me, and well she shouldn't.  I'm a pathological liar.  Since I figured my chances were shot anyway I took and chance, lifted my trouser leg and showed her the tip of my penis, which I keep strapped to my ankle due to it's incredible length and, consequently, aptness to get stuck in the chain of my bicycle.  It must have been darker in there than I thought because she somehow mistook it for a firearm.

/CSB


Then together we swung by the donut shop drive-thru, and I asked the window person "Are the donuts free if I can catch them with my co*k?" I raised it up and waved it at her like a cobra and she had a hissy fit.

The end.
 
2013-11-13 01:15:05 PM  

Farking New Guy: "he's probably in not a cop "

/headline fail
// never been in a cop
/// maybe a few cop cars though



I've been in a cop. She cooked a MEAN lasangna, too. I just could never get over her copness. Not the occupation, itself but her attitude. A lot of them apparently really believe in the shiat they are doing. Everyone looked suspicious. She always made these passive-aggressive comments like, "So, was that a new little girlfriend you were talking to on the phone or was it really your mother?"  There was always some situation where her experience as a cop suppsosedly outweighed my life experience as a human. I think the final straw was the night she came to my house pissed that she had worked overtime that day because someone's grandmother had died and she had to wait for the coroner. I guess she had to turn off her empathy in order to function in the job. It was a turnoff.


/end CSB
 
2013-11-13 01:15:58 PM  
See! We're cops.
s23.postimg.org
We've got police horses and everything.
 
2013-11-13 01:21:57 PM  
Dammit, Farva!
 
2013-11-13 01:23:29 PM  
That's way-oh way-oh waaaaay-oh way-ooooooover the line.
 
2013-11-13 01:32:44 PM  
I hate to say it, but that does sound like something a cop would do.
 
2013-11-13 01:35:17 PM  
Apparently taken in evidence, a Morris County NJ Sheriff's patch and badge. img.fark.net

And this snagged from Google:

people.zeelandnet.nl
The colors in his patch look faded though. Maybe he used to be a deputy? And don't all legit LEAs use 9mms these days? A .38 snubbie is a throwdown backup gun.

Faking cophood for a discount on donuts is an excruciatingly stupid crime. Let's hope this idiot didn't have kids.
 
2013-11-13 01:39:17 PM  
I wonder how much this idiot has netted now that he was caught and will be going got court.  His impersonation of a cop will cost him a lot more than he saved in discounts plus I bet his wife is giving him a lot of crap about the whole thing at home.  It really sucks to be him now.  Plus his buddies will be giving him more crap about him being a loser, etc.  Yep, that was a real class act on his part!
 
2013-11-13 01:47:28 PM  
I faked being a pilot to get free rides across the country. Then Tom Hanks told me to knock that crap off, and that no one thought it was funny.
 
2013-11-13 01:48:49 PM  
Well he's smart enough to be cop.
 
2013-11-13 02:00:14 PM  
Wait...we're assuming he's not a cop because he didn't shoot the guy, right?  I mean, if he were a cop, the donut guy would probably be dead, with some crack sprinkled on him.
 
2013-11-13 02:00:54 PM  

MythDragon: I faked being a pilot to get free rides across the country. Then Tom Hanks told me to knock that crap off, and that no one thought it was funny.


Really? That's even better than the time John Waters told me to get off his lap and go FOAD. Otherwise my 1979 was okay.
 
2013-11-13 02:06:04 PM  
i have been mistaken for a cop, even my kids call me cop dad (after a good buzz cut) BUT, even for a free donut i would not lie for it.
 
2013-11-13 02:08:21 PM  

The One True TheDavid: And don't all legit LEAs use 9mms these days?


Most LEA use semi-autos, but caliber of choice is up in the air with .357sig and .40 S&W taking a lions share.  Plenty of officers still have revolvers for off duty guns.
 
2013-11-13 02:09:04 PM  

itsaidwhat: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: I consider myself a pretty good looking guy and one day I went into a local bar and told the girl working there that I was in town to to take care of some Polish statisticians.  She didn't believe me, and well she shouldn't.  I'm a pathological liar.  Since I figured my chances were shot anyway I took and chance, lifted my trouser leg and showed her the tip of my penis, which I keep strapped to my ankle due to it's incredible length and, consequently, aptness to get stuck in the chain of my bicycle.  It must have been darker in there than I thought because she somehow mistook it for a firearm.

/CSB

Then together we swung by the donut shop drive-thru, and I asked the window person "Are the donuts free if I can catch them with my co*k?" I raised it up and waved it at her like a cobra and she had a hissy fit.

The end.


Meh should should have just grabbed a fresh still blistering hot batch and tried to play ring toss.
 
2013-11-13 02:13:58 PM  
CSB: When my oldest sister was in high school (early '90s), she worked at a place called Miami Subs that had this horrible flamingo/palm tree/Don Johnson motif.  One night while working the drive thru window, a guy in a fancy car pulls up, orders and when my sister went to accept payment, the guy goes "uh, I'm Dan Marino" and refuses to pay.  My sister was all "I can't give you your food if you don't pay" so Mr. Cheapskate Assclown gets all testy and demands to speak to her manager.  Mr. Manager comes over, goes "uh, that's Dan Marino. He doesn't pay," apologizes and gives him the food for free. He then proceeded to chew out my sister for daring to charge Dan Marino for his $7 sandwich.

So yeah, probably a real cop. Assholes with power, or who perceive themselves to have power, will sometimes abuse said power to avoid paying for cheap junk food.
 
2013-11-13 02:25:06 PM  

ShutThoseLambsUp: So yeah, probably a real cop.


Fifty bucks says he got the badge and patch from a family member who was a cop... Like his dad.  And he's just living out a wish fulfillment fantasy.
 
2013-11-13 02:29:15 PM  

ShutThoseLambsUp: So yeah, probably a real cop.


Nope.

Sheriff Chris Nocco said Barry got the badge from his dad...

Just another Responsible Gun Owner.
 
2013-11-13 02:35:51 PM  
Cop or not just give him the discount. You wanna die for a doughnut?
 
2013-11-13 02:44:44 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Farking New Guy: "he's probably in not a cop "

/headline fail
// never been in a cop
/// maybe a few cop cars though


I've been in a cop. She cooked a MEAN lasangna, too. I just could never get over her copness. Not the occupation, itself but her attitude. A lot of them apparently really believe in the shiat they are doing. Everyone looked suspicious. She always made these passive-aggressive comments like, "So, was that a new little girlfriend you were talking to on the phone or was it really your mother?"  There was always some situation where her experience as a cop suppsosedly outweighed my life experience as a human. I think the final straw was the night she came to my house pissed that she had worked overtime that day because someone's grandmother had died and she had to wait for the coroner. I guess she had to turn off her empathy in order to function in the job. It was a turnoff.


/end CSB


You manage to extricate yourself from the relationship without any insanity?
 
2013-11-13 02:48:22 PM  

Click Click D'oh: ShutThoseLambsUp: So yeah, probably a real cop.

Fifty bucks says he got the badge and patch from a family member who was a cop... Like his dad.  And he's just living out a wish fulfillment fantasy.


Ah, yes. There seems to be a lot of those here in FL.

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: ShutThoseLambsUp: So yeah, probably a real cop.

Nope.

Sheriff Chris Nocco said Barry got the badge from his dad...

Just another Responsible Gun Owner.


Well that's good...ish.  Bad Cop stories don't surprise me, but they still piss me off.

/Marino is still a cheapskate
 
2013-11-13 03:06:15 PM  

ShutThoseLambsUp: CSB: When my oldest sister was in high school (early '90s), she worked at a place called Miami Subs that had this horrible flamingo/palm tree/Don Johnson motif.  One night while working the drive thru window, a guy in a fancy car pulls up, orders and when my sister went to accept payment, the guy goes "uh, I'm Dan Marino" and refuses to pay.  My sister was all "I can't give you your food if you don't pay" so Mr. Cheapskate Assclown gets all testy and demands to speak to her manager.  Mr. Manager comes over, goes "uh, that's Dan Marino. He doesn't pay," apologizes and gives him the food for free. He then proceeded to chew out my sister for daring to charge Dan Marino for his $7 sandwich.

So yeah, probably a real cop. Assholes with power, or who perceive themselves to have power, will sometimes abuse said power to avoid paying for cheap junk food.


Ugh I remember Miami Subs. We had one in the parking lot of the black mall. It was gross.
 
2013-11-13 03:12:57 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: I've been in a cop. She cooked a MEAN lasangna, too. I just could never get over her copness. Not the occupation, itself but her attitude. A lot of them apparently really believe in the shiat they are doing. Everyone looked suspicious. She always made these passive-aggressive comments like, "So, was that a new little girlfriend you were talking to on the phone or was it really your mother?"


I worked with an ex-cop, he was the same way. Besides just being nuts and stupid, he'd tell me all these stories about how suspicious people around him were acting, how everybody was probably up to no good. One day he was telling me how he'd rescued a "crack pipe" (it looked like a glass pot pipe) from a firepit where we were camped, and he was going to keep it for evidence or something. He was going to get the records of who had camped at the spot (??) and find out who had had the crack pipe, so he could bust them.

Farking loony tunes. The scariest thing was that he also liked to tell me how incredibly stupid all the new police recruits were when he worked at the police academy, and how he'd never hire any of them.
 
2013-11-13 03:21:35 PM  
That'll be 36 cents, you cheap pig.
 
2013-11-13 03:31:47 PM  

ShutThoseLambsUp: that's Dan Marino. He doesn't pay,


The guy from Ace Ventura?

img.pandawhale.com
 
2013-11-13 03:53:36 PM  
Because donuts are so ungodly expensive these days..............
 
2013-11-13 05:52:07 PM  
the worst part is in florida the badge is the only thing that got him in trouble

anyone can claim to be a cop under florida law

you just can't display a badge or take away someone's rights (ie arrest)
 
2013-11-14 12:43:01 AM  

memebot_of_doom: ShutThoseLambsUp: that's Dan Marino. He doesn't pay,

The guy from Ace Ventura?

[img.pandawhale.com image 550x250]


Yep, that guy. The one who despite his ludicrous earnings from football, product endorsements and even film, refused to pay for a farking sandwich on account of "I'm Dan Marino dontcha know?"
 
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