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(ABC News)   Filming of "Fifty Shades of Grey" postponed until the producers can find actors to play the leads who are capable of delivering their lines without giggling over how awful they are   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, Charlie Hunnam, Sons Of Anarchy  
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3815 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Nov 2013 at 1:30 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-11-13 02:54:58 PM  
4 votes:
"It was bliss having his cumtree probed inside me again; stuffing my enchilada of love with 10 inch purple battery-operated monster just didn't get my gammon alley splurging like it used to. After having my gashtray slammed, he then proceeded to hammer my turd cutter. The unrelenting orgasms from his cervix cigar pounding my wizards sleeve made me come so hard, I began sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop. My ladytown was trembling like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery. Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his disco stick made my spaff seep like a George Foreman grill."

"I awoke the next morning with my calamari cockring still dripping. I thought it was over but his huge penis had other ideas. The unrelenting orgasms from his greasy slimelight pounding my shame portal made me come so hard, I began sweating like a paedo during a prison riot. By now, my hairy spunk dungeon was oozing like there was a midget inside me with a super soaker. Hours of farking like this would leave any girl's flappy meal looking like a bucket of smashed crabs, and I was no different! After having my quivering mound of love pudding hammered, he then proceeded to slam my turd cutter."

/very oblig
2013-11-14 02:30:06 AM  
1 vote:

meanmutton: nocturnal001: Wait wait.

So guy writes a book that makes women horny.
Book is being turned into a mass market movie.

Farkers are mad about it?


No one is mad about it.  People (correctly) think that the book was horribly written (compare it to, say, Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty trilogy) and find it amusing that they've had so much trouble with trying to adapt poorly written porn into an R-rated movie that they've been churning through actors (finally settling on a woman in her 40s to play the young, nubile virgin) and been putting filming off and off.  That shiat is funny.

/Personally, I LOVED when my wife read that book.  It was three straight days of continuous sexy fun-time.

Actually, it was seven days.

/but who's counting?
2013-11-13 03:58:50 PM  
1 vote:
2013-11-13 03:14:34 PM  
1 vote:

Lexx: There's no point in making 50 shades unless it's a hard rated R, or even X.

That would be like making a film version of The Golden Compass without the pointed criticism/satire of religion.
2013-11-13 02:16:39 PM  
1 vote:

Saiga410: rjakobi: The producers need to be shown the door. Pure and simple. This is only worth a Cinemax treatment and nothing more.

No no no no.  This needs to be made as an epic so large that Demille would be wowed. It needs to be produced with a budget that eclipses all others.  If an actor does not sign on, add a zero to the offer.  We must have the best.

Can't we just reboot Caligula?
2013-11-13 01:33:16 PM  
1 vote:
The book is a piece of filth trash and the movie seems to be headed toward the same fate. How about we save the millions from producing and creating this shiat show and put it towards something of merit. Like another Sarah Jessica Parker RomCom.
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