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(Huffington Post)   "Robot handjobs are the future" Robot....handjobs? I'll be in my bunk with my roomba   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 63
    More: Cool, adult toys, VR Tenga, Jeremie Calo, Fei Lin, virtual reality, Knox County, pam  
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3639 clicks; posted to Geek » on 13 Nov 2013 at 8:33 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-11-13 07:57:26 AM  
 
2013-11-13 08:03:54 AM  
I remember there being an article, hell I think it was posted to Fark, a few years ago about a porn company that hooked up with some content delivery company and a device manufacturer.  Basically you put a device about the size of a shoe box over your junk, logged into a site that had live streaming girls, and they would jerk off, suck, and fark a prosthetic dick/dildo and this device that was sitting on your lap was connected over the internet to this dildo, and you felt everything.  They also made it so that it would work with prerecorded movies/scenes.

While amusing, I simply could not do that.  That is just waayyyy tooooo weird for me.
 
2013-11-13 08:46:47 AM  
What did you expect mother? I'm half machine! I'M A MONSTER!
 
2013-11-13 08:47:07 AM  
Women have been doing it with machines for decades...

media3.onsugar.com
 
2013-11-13 08:49:17 AM  
I would think sex with a roomba would involve it overworking one area and then it crying in a corner unable to move.
 
2013-11-13 08:50:47 AM  
So will hospitals have to create a code for 'robot hand grasping a man's penis'?
 
2013-11-13 08:51:44 AM  

mutterfark: So will hospitals have to create a code for 'robot hand grasping a man's penis'?


"Code Blue Balls"
 
2013-11-13 09:04:32 AM  

mutterfark: So will hospitals have to create a code for 'robot hand grasping a man's penis'?


computing-wp.cit.ie
 
2013-11-13 09:07:47 AM  

gnosis301: I would think sex with a roomba would involve it overworking one area and then it crying in a corner unable to move.


Or as some of us know it, Another drunk Saturday night
 
2013-11-13 09:16:25 AM  

mutterfark: So will hospitals have to create a code for 'robot hand grasping a man's penis'?


Can probably fall under one of these, although maybe they'll add a new one now for this exciting new injury possibility...

http://www.snomedbrowser.com/Codes/Details/110015006
 
2013-11-13 09:33:24 AM  
Japanese industrial masturbator

That is the greatest phrase ever.
 
2013-11-13 09:36:17 AM  
come on japan, step up your farking game:

hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-13 09:42:56 AM  
I don't know of a better way of avoiding electro-gonorrhea.
 
2013-11-13 09:43:23 AM  

dletter: OWWWW


Not only that. but I just had to read the whole list while reflexively clenching. that is soooooo wrong. The facts speak for themselves though... if someone had not done it there would not be a description of the injury. Just be glad you are not a broke dick mutherfarker.
 
2013-11-13 09:46:53 AM  
After that robot suicide article, I think I'll wait...
 
2013-11-13 09:55:39 AM  
The XQJ-37 Pan-Sexual Roto-Plooker. It looks just like a Telefunken U-47. You'll love it.

heh..heh...
 
2013-11-13 10:02:10 AM  
27.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-11-13 10:02:36 AM  
i52.tinypic.com
 
2013-11-13 10:03:27 AM  
And I'm shocked that there's 16 posts and no mention of the Fully Integrated Security Technotronic Officer

www.cheatmasters.com
 
2013-11-13 10:03:53 AM  
The device attaches a Novint Falcon-a grip-based, haptic controller-to a Tenga, a Japanese industrial masturbator.

The fact that the Japanese even have a device called an "industrial masturbator" is a little disturbing.
 
2013-11-13 10:19:43 AM  
Why would a robot need a handjob?

/Also, my new band is named Robot HandJobs
 
2013-11-13 10:33:39 AM  
Women prefer the Woomba.
 
2013-11-13 10:50:50 AM  
I still prefer to jerk off manually.
 
2013-11-13 11:17:51 AM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
Soon.
 
2013-11-13 11:28:46 AM  
how do i invest?
 
2013-11-13 11:38:18 AM  
I don't have to fap to this
 
2013-11-13 11:38:28 AM  
In a HuffPost/YouGov survey conducted in April, eighteen percent of respondents said they believed sex robots would be available by 2030, while only nine percent were willing to admit they would have sex with a robot if they had the opportunity.
 
2013-11-13 11:46:02 AM  

gnosis301: I would think sex with a roomba would involve it overworking one area and then it crying in a corner unable to move.


Perfect.

Also, where is Cherry 2000? Now that I think of it, how did that movie get made? What was the pitch like?
 
2013-11-13 11:49:59 AM  
Ehhh, call me when I can make the robot cry during and after sexy time. Otherwise, I'm not really interested.
 
2013-11-13 11:56:01 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-11-13 12:01:12 PM  
to all the folks giggling about "Japanese Industrial Masturbators" - they're for breeding livestock.
 
2013-11-13 12:08:21 PM  

meanmutton: Women have been doing it with machines for decades...


You say that like it's a bad thing.

Cybernetic: [little-archer-with-vacuum-cleaner.gif]


Came for this (so to speak). Leaving satisfied (also so to speak).
 
2013-11-13 12:15:34 PM  

gnosis301: I would think sex with a roomba would involve it overworking one area and then it crying in a corner unable to move.


Or the average Farkers sex life
 
2013-11-13 12:23:31 PM  

Hunchentoot: to all the folks giggling about "Japanese Industrial Masturbators" - they're for breeding livestock.


Uhhh, Yeah. THAT's what they're sold for.
 
2013-11-13 12:41:38 PM  

vonster: The XQJ-37 Pan-Sexual Roto-Plooker. It looks just like a Telefunken U-47. You'll love it.

heh..heh...


With leather?
 
2013-11-13 12:59:03 PM  
Women will soon be obsolete!

/aside from sandwich making, obviously.
 
2013-11-13 01:00:34 PM  

scottydoesntknow: And I'm shocked that there's 16 posts and no mention of the Fully Integrated Security Technotronic Officer

[www.cheatmasters.com image 471x230]


Heh, I just...activated...him last night.
 
2013-11-13 01:04:26 PM  
That Probulator sure knows how to please a man.
 
2013-11-13 01:13:05 PM  
They should call it "the Autofap."
 
2013-11-13 01:24:47 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-13 01:40:32 PM  

Needlessly Complicated: meanmutton: Women have been doing it with machines for decades...

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Cybernetic: [little-archer-with-vacuum-cleaner.gif]

Came for this (so to speak). Leaving satisfied (also so to speak).


static.giantbomb.com
 
2013-11-13 01:47:00 PM  

scottydoesntknow: mutterfark: So will hospitals have to create a code for 'robot hand grasping a man's penis'?

[computing-wp.cit.ie image 600x348]


Came for Howards robot arm, leaving satisfied.

BTW, Japanese guys are awfully small, because there's no way an average guy can fit in one of those Tenga things. Or so my friend told me.
 
2013-11-13 02:29:41 PM  

scottydoesntknow: And I'm shocked that there's 16 posts and no mention of the Fully Integrated Security Technotronic Officer

[www.cheatmasters.com image 471x230]


Came here to say this, glad to see I wasn't the only one who remembered FISTO.
 
2013-11-13 02:38:52 PM  
insertyourmeme.com
 
2013-11-13 03:44:04 PM  

Hz so good: BTW, Japanese guys are awfully small, because there's no way an average guy can fit in one of those Tenga things. Or so my friend told me.


Don't the tenga things stretch quite a bit?
 
2013-11-13 04:10:15 PM  

Hz so good: scottydoesntknow: mutterfark: So will hospitals have to create a code for 'robot hand grasping a man's penis'?

[computing-wp.cit.ie image 600x348]

Came for Howards robot arm, leaving satisfied.

BTW, Japanese guys are awfully small, because there's no way an average guy can fit in one of those Tenga things. Or so my friend told me.


You aren't supposed to put your entire dick in a Tenga.
 
2013-11-13 04:26:44 PM  
46 posts and no mention of the best word in the English language: teledildonics.

/Tele
//dildonics
 
2013-11-13 04:38:04 PM  

ChubbyTiger: 46 posts and no mention of the best word in the English language: teledildonics.

/Tele
//dildonics


Between Robot Handjob and The Teledildonics it's beginning to look like we may have a whole new genre of music taking shape here.
 
2013-11-13 04:41:59 PM  

entropic_existence: Hz so good: BTW, Japanese guys are awfully small, because there's no way an average guy can fit in one of those Tenga things. Or so my friend told me.

Don't the tenga things stretch quite a bit?


The egg ones sorta kinda do. They stretch *maybe* 3.5 inches before tearing.
 
2013-11-13 04:45:16 PM  

gnosis301: Hz so good: scottydoesntknow: mutterfark: So will hospitals have to create a code for 'robot hand grasping a man's penis'?

[computing-wp.cit.ie image 600x348]

Came for Howards robot arm, leaving satisfied.

BTW, Japanese guys are awfully small, because there's no way an average guy can fit in one of those Tenga things. Or so my friend told me.

You aren't supposed to put your entire dick in a Tenga.


Then why call it the deep throat if you aren't supposed to stick your dick in it? I mean, come on! I couldn't..er *my friend* couldn't even get half of it in there. That doesn't exactly qualify as a deep throat.
 
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