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(io9)   Fifteen people who have kicked the goddamn out of Batman   (io9.com) divider line 72
    More: Misc, Batman, Wayne Manor, Jason Todd  
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6251 clicks; posted to Geek » on 12 Nov 2013 at 5:47 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-12 04:57:56 PM
you forgot one:

img89.imageshack.us
 
2013-11-12 04:59:53 PM
Yeah? Well none of them have their own university.
 
2013-11-12 05:21:25 PM
in before "batman isn't real, NERDS!"
 
2013-11-12 05:23:38 PM
Did this guy make the list?
 
2013-11-12 05:54:18 PM
llnw.wbez.org

BATMAN GOT ON MY NERVES!
 
2013-11-12 05:58:44 PM
HEY GUYS WHAT'S GOIN ON IN THIS THREAD?

i.huffpost.com
 
2013-11-12 06:00:25 PM
Could someone pls post cartoon from SMBC of Superman tearing Batman's head off? At work now.

kthxbye
 
2013-11-12 06:03:14 PM
hugelolcdn.com
 
2013-11-12 06:03:56 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: you forgot one:

[img89.imageshack.us image 104x150]


media.avclub.com
You'll be brought before the Tribunal, Joel.
 
2013-11-12 06:05:23 PM
I thought The Reaper was a Marvel character
 
2013-11-12 06:07:56 PM

KillAllHumans: I thought The Reaper was a Marvel character


May be thinking of The Grim Reaper, Wonder Man's brother.
 
2013-11-12 06:15:23 PM

texdent: KillAllHumans: I thought The Reaper was a Marvel character

May be thinking of The Grim Reaper, Wonder Man's brother.


You're thinking of Tony Wonder.
 
2013-11-12 06:54:29 PM
Osteoperososis?
 
2013-11-12 06:58:59 PM

mooseyfate: texdent: KillAllHumans: I thought The Reaper was a Marvel character

May be thinking of The Grim Reaper, Wonder Man's brother.

You're thinking of Tony Wonder.


www.relevantmagazine.com
Did someone say "Wonder"?
/But really you're thinking of Tony Atlas.
 
2013-11-12 06:59:15 PM
the only reason Batman won was by faking a heart attack right after he exhausted all his tricks

That's not how I read the Dark Knight Returns.
 
2013-11-12 07:00:03 PM

Fano: [llnw.wbez.org image 644x643]

BATMAN GOT ON MY NERVES!


came here for this.
 
2013-11-12 07:23:18 PM
From the comments: Batman never beat Superman in continuity.

Batman beats Superman in Hush by using a combination of kryptonite ring and using Lois Lane as bait to snap Superman out of Poison Ivy's mind control. A classic Batman Gambit (a plan which succeeds through depending on other people to be themselves).
 
2013-11-12 07:45:23 PM

Doc Batarang: From the comments: Batman never beat Superman in continuity.

Batman beats Superman in Hush by using a combination of kryptonite ring and using Lois Lane as bait to snap Superman out of Poison Ivy's mind control. A classic Batman Gambit (a plan which succeeds through depending on other people to be themselves).


That scene was super farking awesome.  Until Superdog showed up.  Seriously, the Superpets can eat shiat and die.
 
2013-11-12 07:47:16 PM
Wonder Woman beat his ass? I'm guessing he might be more of a fruit bat.

/NTTIAWWT
 
2013-11-12 07:49:15 PM
Glad to see Wesley Willis has already been mentioned.

/Rock over London
//Rock on, Chicago
///Wheaties, the breakfast of champions!
 
2013-11-12 07:49:38 PM

AbiNormal: Wonder Woman beat his ass? I'm guessing he might be more of a fruit bat.

/NTTIAWWT


Any man that doesn't want to be dominated by an Amazon Queen isn't a man at all.  Batman was just fulfilling a life-long fantasy.
 
2013-11-12 07:55:06 PM

JasonOfOrillia: the only reason Batman won was by faking a heart attack right after he exhausted all his tricks

That's not how I read the Dark Knight Returns.


Same here.
 
2013-11-12 08:29:44 PM

mooseyfate: AbiNormal: Wonder Woman beat his ass? I'm guessing he might be more of a fruit bat.

/NTTIAWWT

Any man that doesn't want to be dominated by an Amazon Queen isn't a man at all.  Batman was just fulfilling a life-long fantasy.


Death by Wonder Woman snu-snu is fine by me
 
2013-11-12 08:52:02 PM

JasonOfOrillia: the only reason Batman won was by faking a heart attack right after he exhausted all his tricks

That's not how I read the Dark Knight Returns.


That's not how anyone read The Dark Knight Returns. Batman won that fight with a kryptonite arrow, and a powered exosuit. Batman had almost beaten Superman to death. The only thing that saved Superman's life was that Batman didn't really want to kill him. Batman just wanted Superman to have a memory of a fight he'd lost, and easily could have died from. It wasn't a mere faked heart attack, it was a faked death and it was the only way to end the fight without walking away and leaving Superman with thoughts of a rematch. He also wanted to disappear, so... two bird with one stone.
 
2013-11-12 09:00:33 PM

mooseyfate: Doc Batarang: From the comments: Batman never beat Superman in continuity.

Batman beats Superman in Hush by using a combination of kryptonite ring and using Lois Lane as bait to snap Superman out of Poison Ivy's mind control. A classic Batman Gambit (a plan which succeeds through depending on other people to be themselves).

That scene was super farking awesome.  Until Superdog showed up.  Seriously, the Superpets can eat shiat and die.


I disagree. Krypto is just fine by me. He is welcome flavour because if Superman is supposed to stand for being the best a person can be, then it would follow in my mind that he would also be a pet owner. Plus, the dog is basically a wrecking ball in certain incidences where the heroes totally needed one - like Blackest Night, Infinite Crisis and Imperiex.

The super cats, monkeys and horses were overkill, but the one dog is a cute holdover from the silver age where I'd suggest we need more of instead of more dark age trademark grimness.

I don't think he should have a cape. That's just silly.
 
2013-11-12 09:03:02 PM
This article was very timely. Not 20 minutes before reading it, I was arguing with my 16-year-old nephew, who posited that Batman could beat anyone in a fight. Needless to say, I rubbed his nose in it. Old man wins again!
 
2013-11-12 09:20:13 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: This article was very timely. Not 20 minutes before reading it, I was arguing with my 16-year-old nephew, who posited that Batman could beat anyone in a fight. Needless to say, I rubbed his nose in it. Old man wins again!


The persistent tautology of Batman fandom would be funny if it wasn't so frustrating for fans of other characters.

I know it's stupid on a lot of levels to be jealous of something like that, but to have all of a character's virtues and inherent awesomeness subsumed by the rabid fanbase of Batman still sort of stings.

Maybe to outsiders it seems like it doesn't matter, but on the inside of the Comic Book World, we live for these kinds of discussions. Each of us has at least one character that we love and we think is awesome. Whose badassness, inflated by our minds or not, we can measure against who the next guy loves.

The beauty of that imaginary tournament of favorites is utterly and completely destroyed where Batman is concerned because objectivity and subjectivity doesn't matter - only the tautology of 'Batman always wins because Batman always wins."

It's not fair to somebody like my brother who grew up loving ROM and Conan, or my college roommate who was an unexpectedly big fan of Aquaman. You throw one Bat-fan into the mix and the party comes to an end.

It's a fun-killer.
 
2013-11-12 09:25:04 PM

mooseyfate: Doc Batarang: From the comments: Batman never beat Superman in continuity.

Batman beats Superman in Hush by using a combination of kryptonite ring and using Lois Lane as bait to snap Superman out of Poison Ivy's mind control. A classic Batman Gambit (a plan which succeeds through depending on other people to be themselves).

That scene was super farking awesome.  Until Superdog showed up.  Seriously, the Superpets can eat shiat and die.


img.gawkerassets.com

Personally, I like the time Superman told the people of Metropolis to STFU about his dog, and that Krypto was their dog too now.
 
2013-11-12 09:34:53 PM

scottydoesntknow: [hugelolcdn.com image 243x1500]


Ahem...   Kryptonite in any form is only contained by lead.

Lead injections would have killed Batman.

I think everything after the first panel is just a fantasy of Batman's, a la "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge."
 
2013-11-12 09:37:56 PM
I would say its the fan boys that create this stupid myth, not so much the writers. I own a lot of bat books and comics in general (stop collecting in the early 90s).

In most of the books Batman is getting beat, is making mistakes and loses in some way. He then recoups uses his brain and comes back to win.

It's the same story for every hero story ever told. The hero has to be in peril or there is no drama.
 
2013-11-12 09:46:45 PM
I also think the "because Batman" is just there to troll Superman fans.
People who love supes over all other are just lame. They are the same type of sad pathetic people who come over to your house to play a sports video game and choose the all star team.
 
2013-11-12 09:47:22 PM
 
2013-11-12 09:50:31 PM
The Court of Owls straight wrecked Batman.
 
2013-11-12 10:15:20 PM
16. JLO
 
2013-11-12 10:29:23 PM

Space Station Wagon: I also think the "because Batman" is just there to troll Superman fans.
People who love supes over all other are just lame. They are the same type of sad pathetic people who come over to your house to play a sports video game and choose the all star team.


Superman is my favorite and I don't feel 'lame', 'sad' or 'pathetic.'

It seems more pathetic to hate him on principle simply because he's powerful.

For me, it's not simply about his power but rather how he chooses to use it.

readrant.files.wordpress.com

Above is a page from "All Star Superman". It speaks directly to the heart of who and what Superman is.

At this point he's dying, but at the same time more powerful than he's ever been. He's rushing to do as much good as he can before he dies to try to make a difference before he goes.

Just prior to this scene, he was dealing with something else. Stitched into those other events we see a car rushing through traffic on the other side of town and hear a doctor negotiating desperately on the phone.

Regan there is going to kill herself. Superman is dying and in the middle of saving the world. Regan's psychiatrist's across town, stuck in traffic.

Here's Superman, the alien from another world who is more god-like than he's ever been. He has no time and too much to do.

But instead he's on that ledge. He lands quietly behind a terrified girl and puts a hand gently on her shoulder. He reaches out to her both literally and figuratively, putting her needs above his own - above the world's even.

This girl is an insect to him and he has no reason whatsoever to put her first, but he does. He could have snatched her up in a second and put her on the ground to wait for her doctor and flown away, but he doesn't.

He saves her. All his abilities allowed him to do was to be there in time. It was "Superman" who saved her. Not the powers.

Because he wakes up every day and chooses to be good instead of evil. He chooses to serve others instead of himself. He chooses to believe in light instead of dark or gray.

Maybe that's hokey to some in this new, unsympathetic world we trapped ourselves in, but it's reason enough for Superman to be my favorite.
 
2013-11-12 10:40:31 PM
Captain America.

When Cap and Batman faced off, they measured their skills carefully, and after a while the stopped and Batman conceded, saying that by his calculation it would be a long fight, but Cap would probably, eventually win because he's stronger, faster, more durable, has more experience, and has that shield which defends against most of Batman's weapons.

Granted, they never got to the point of Cap kicking his ass, but Bruce essentially admitted, "Yes, you'd kick my ass."
 
2013-11-12 10:41:52 PM

PIP_the_TROLL: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: This article was very timely. Not 20 minutes before reading it, I was arguing with my 16-year-old nephew, who posited that Batman could beat anyone in a fight. Needless to say, I rubbed his nose in it. Old man wins again!

The persistent tautology of Batman fandom would be funny if it wasn't so frustrating for fans of other characters.

I know it's stupid on a lot of levels to be jealous of something like that, but to have all of a character's virtues and inherent awesomeness subsumed by the rabid fanbase of Batman still sort of stings.

Maybe to outsiders it seems like it doesn't matter, but on the inside of the Comic Book World, we live for these kinds of discussions. Each of us has at least one character that we love and we think is awesome. Whose badassness, inflated by our minds or not, we can measure against who the next guy loves.

The beauty of that imaginary tournament of favorites is utterly and completely destroyed where Batman is concerned because objectivity and subjectivity doesn't matter - only the tautology of 'Batman always wins because Batman always wins."

It's not fair to somebody like my brother who grew up loving ROM and Conan, or my college roommate who was an unexpectedly big fan of Aquaman. You throw one Bat-fan into the mix and the party comes to an end.

It's a fun-killer.


I was in kindergarten when the TV series "Batman" came out. I didn't have access to comic books to flesh out my Batman knowledge, so my whole exposure to the Batman canon was through the silly TV show. But I ate that shiat up! Ran around with a bath-towel tied around my neck, tricycle substituting for a Batmobile, making my little sister portray Robin... Good times.

Later, when I was a teenager, I was given a couple of big boxes of comic books from the '50s, '60s and early '70s. A lotta crap like Casper, Richie Rich and Little Lotta, but about half of them were Marvel and DC comics. Thor, Superman, Green Lantern, Aquaman, and my favorite, Captain America. But not one Batman comic. So I was still ignorant of the dark side of Batman's story until the first movie came out.

When the first movie opened, I went expecting it to be like the TV series, because that was all I knew about Batman's world. I was a big fan of the TV show when I was little, and I was looking forward to seeing the campy Batman of my childhood. I left the movie theater confused and disappointed.

Now, I wish I had never seen the TV series, because I'd have gone into the movie with an open mind, but that first movie kind of ruined Batman for me. I put it aside, and moved on. My youngest brother is a Batman fan much like you described, and so are his kids. So it was fun for me to tweak them a bit about it with this article.
 
2013-11-12 10:42:37 PM
Also, anyone invoking Superman in The Dark Knight Returns has to be honest and admit that this was after Superman had been in the center of a nuclear explosion, and in a fight in which Clark was trying his best NOT to hurt Bruce.

If Superman WANTED to hurt Bruce, Bruce would be dead before he could pull his cowl over his head.
 
2013-11-12 10:49:05 PM

PIP_the_TROLL: Maybe that's hokey to some in this new, unsympathetic world we trapped ourselves in, but it's reason enough for Superman to be my favorite.


Agree entirely, but hate how often his morality is hijacked for propaganda purposes.
 
2013-11-13 12:13:25 AM

PIP_the_TROLL: Space Station Wagon: I also think the "because Batman" is just there to troll Superman fans.
People who love supes over all other are just lame. They are the same type of sad pathetic people who come over to your house to play a sports video game and choose the all star team.

Superman is my favorite and I don't feel 'lame', 'sad' or 'pathetic.'

It seems more pathetic to hate him on principle simply because he's powerful.

For me, it's not simply about his power but rather how he chooses to use it.

[readrant.files.wordpress.com image 587x967]

Above is a page from "All Star Superman". It speaks directly to the heart of who and what Superman is.

At this point he's dying, but at the same time more powerful than he's ever been. He's rushing to do as much good as he can before he dies to try to make a difference before he goes.

Just prior to this scene, he was dealing with something else. Stitched into those other events we see a car rushing through traffic on the other side of town and hear a doctor negotiating desperately on the phone.

Regan there is going to kill herself. Superman is dying and in the middle of saving the world. Regan's psychiatrist's across town, stuck in traffic.

Here's Superman, the alien from another world who is more god-like than he's ever been. He has no time and too much to do.

But instead he's on that ledge. He lands quietly behind a terrified girl and puts a hand gently on her shoulder. He reaches out to her both literally and figuratively, putting her needs above his own - above the world's even.

This girl is an insect to him and he has no reason whatsoever to put her first, but he does. He could have snatched her up in a second and put her on the ground to wait for her doctor and flown away, but he doesn't.

He saves her. All his abilities allowed him to do was to be there in time. It was "Superman" who saved her. Not the powers.

Because he wakes up every day and chooses to be good instead of evil. He chooses to serve others inste ...


And this is why you are favorited with the tag "Supermanologist."

Agreed also on the Batman tautology. Superhero battle scenarios are part and parcel of being a fan of superhero books. Things like "What if Superman fought the Hulk?" (Hulk can win if Superman doesn't punch him into orbit before Hulk gets sufficiently angry) But the Batman can beat ANYONE, HANDS DOWN, END OF STORY meme at some point got waaay out of hand. It was an amazing moment when Batman beat Superman in Miller's masterbatory power fantasies, but it ended up being a bad thing overall for Batman. The trick was in the comic he had pulled off THE IMPOSSIBLE, and then it mutated into a ho-hum punchclock activity for Batman.

He DOES deserve a place on the Justice League, but he cannot go toe to toe with demigods. He's supposed to be The World's Greatest Detective. A great moment in JLAU is when Amanda Waller and her goons pull an inordinate number of guns on him, and suddenly the Justice League is behind him with him saying "mine's bigger."

Superman may have Kryptonite as a weakness, but you know what Batman's is? A karate chop to the back of the neck, and a villain sane enough to finish the job.
 
2013-11-13 12:22:56 AM

mooseyfate: Any man that doesn't want to be dominated by an Amazon Queen isn't a man at all. Batman was just fulfilling a life-long fantasy.


What's S.M. Stirling doing in this thread?
 
2013-11-13 12:39:48 AM
Beating the "Damned" out of Batman ≠ defeating the Batman.

Letting them beat on him might be how he survives/scouts or defeats his opponent. Also, he is about survival and then planning. He's come back from beatings before and will again.


\what would be truly terrifying would be Wolverine-like regeneration on him
 
2013-11-13 12:44:14 AM

Fano: But the Batman can beat ANYONE, HANDS DOWN, END OF STORY meme at some point got waaay out of hand. It was an amazing moment when Batman beat Superman in Miller's masterbatory power fantasies, but it ended up being a bad thing overall for Batman. The trick was in the comic he had pulled off THE IMPOSSIBLE, and then it mutated into a ho-hum punchclock activity for Batman.


i417.photobucket.com

/I think it's awesome that a quote of mine from a Batman thread years ago is a Batman Wins Meme
 
2013-11-13 12:59:21 AM

gozar_the_destroyer: Beating the "Damned" out of Batman ≠ defeating the Batman.

Letting them beat on him might be how he survives/scouts or defeats his opponent. Also, he is about survival and then planning. He's come back from beatings before and will again.


\what would be truly terrifying would be Wolverine-like regeneration on him


Eh, that's Spider-man's routine story. Every new villain whips him, then he angsts, and then figures out a way to beat them.
 
2013-11-13 01:06:41 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
These farkers kicked the batman's a$$. Batman: Arkham Origins has more bugs in it than a Tijuana outhouse.

/Feels like I paid 60 bucks to be a beta tester.
//It could be a good game if it didn't lock up every twenty minutes.
///Grumble, grumblegrumblegrumble.
 
2013-11-13 01:14:32 AM

ZeroCorpse: Also, anyone invoking Superman in The Dark Knight Returns has to be honest and admit that this was after Superman had been in the center of a nuclear explosion, and in a fight in which Clark was trying his best NOT to hurt Bruce.

If Superman WANTED to hurt Bruce, Bruce would be dead before he could pull his cowl over his head.


Batman's last thought "Is it getting warm in. . ."
 
2013-11-13 01:18:38 AM
Which reminds me, the one thing that bugged me about Justice League: Doom (and basically the original story) was that all of Batman's strategies of fighting against the other heroes were all based on their personalities as heroes. For instance, Injustice Superman wouldn't give a fark some guy was on top of a building threatening to jump and shot himself at the same time.
These weren't plans made in case the heroes went evil, they'd be useless plans then. Batman made plans to take out the League in case he turned evil. Which kinda makes him a dick.
 
2013-11-13 01:43:54 AM

ZeroCorpse: Captain America.

When Cap and Batman faced off, they measured their skills carefully, and after a while the stopped and Batman conceded, saying that by his calculation it would be a long fight, but Cap would probably, eventually win because he's stronger, faster, more durable, has more experience, and has that shield which defends against most of Batman's weapons.

Granted, they never got to the point of Cap kicking his ass, but Bruce essentially admitted, "Yes, you'd kick my ass."


That crossover was a little too generous to Bats. Instead of letting Cap whip Bruce's ass, the writers gave Prometheus Batman's fighting skills and let Steve wipe the floor with him in the last issue. What a shame.
 
2013-11-13 01:43:54 AM

Boojum2k: Which reminds me, the one thing that bugged me about Justice League: Doom (and basically the original story) was that all of Batman's strategies of fighting against the other heroes were all based on their personalities as heroes. For instance, Injustice Superman wouldn't give a fark some guy was on top of a building threatening to jump and shot himself at the same time.
These weren't plans made in case the heroes went evil, they'd be useless plans then. Batman made plans to take out the League in case he turned evil. Which kinda makes him a dick.


If you remember, the plans that were enacted were only based off of his plans. They were not exact and the exact plans were never described. Only Savage and Batman ever knew the details of the real plans.

The bullet for Supes could have been used in many other ways that would work and would have to be adjusted for how and why he went out of control.  Personally, I would take out an evil Superman with a +1 letter opener. He'll let you hit him with mundane looking objects since he isinvulnerable and does so out of laziness or ego. Evil Superman would be even more inclined to let a pathetic mortal try and fail to hurt him.

\any level one wizard/sorcerer can cast the spell
\\or priest...witch, level 5 pali...
 
2013-11-13 01:44:31 AM
www.examiner.com
This guy?
 
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