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(SFGate)   America breathes a sigh of relief as Tori Spelling promises to NOT release her sex tape   (blog.sfgate.com) divider line 40
    More: Scary, Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott, sex tape, sighs  
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1435 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Nov 2013 at 8:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-11 08:09:48 PM  
We can only hope.
 
2013-11-11 08:12:40 PM  
But she's soooo hot!
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-11-11 08:15:17 PM  
Dairy-product visage.
 
2013-11-11 08:15:52 PM  
She said she would never sell it.  She said nothing about not giving it away.
 
2013-11-11 08:18:37 PM  
Thankfully, she said "neigh"

i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-11-11 08:21:19 PM  
I think I need to vomit. brb.
 
2013-11-11 08:23:15 PM  
Officials at Churchhill downs said it would detract from the festive atmosphere of the Kentucky derby.
 
2013-11-11 08:31:32 PM  
Who is this Tori Spelling & why to her bewbs point in different directions?
 
2013-11-11 08:33:55 PM  

Arthur Two Sheds Jackson: Who is this Tori Spelling...


Aaron Spelling's daughter and a washed-up hack from a crappy 90s teen drama.

Arthur Two Sheds Jackson: ...why to her bewbs point in different directions?


Because her dad got her a lot of plastic surgery in a failed bid to make her attractive enough for TV.
 
2013-11-11 08:44:30 PM  
Oh thank gods. I've seen some some pretty fugly chicks in porn, but I don't know that I could have handled this one. Whoever decided that she was attractive enough for TV back in the day should be shot.

/yes I know it was her dad
 
2013-11-11 08:45:21 PM  
Can't lie. I'd have watched it.
 
2013-11-11 08:47:05 PM  

skozlaw: Arthur Two Sheds Jackson: Who is this Tori Spelling...

Aaron Spelling's daughter and a washed-up hack from a crappy 90s teen drama.

Arthur Two Sheds Jackson: ...why to her bewbs point in different directions?

Because her dad got her a lot of plastic surgery in a failed bid to make her attractive enough for TV.


Her dad really put the cart in front of the horse on that one...
 
2013-11-11 08:53:49 PM  
Question: Does every actress have a sex tape that they hold on to and wait until the moment is right to release it (or not)?

Also, whothefrakcares.jpg
 
2013-11-11 08:53:51 PM  

don't understand: But she's soooo hot!


Gaaaaa! Christ on a cracker, that is one unattractive woman.
 
2013-11-11 09:06:42 PM  
Christ, she looks like Rocky Dennis from the film  Mask.
 
2013-11-11 09:09:37 PM  
I saw a certain Italian porn while in college and think I know how Spelling sex would go down.
 
2013-11-11 09:11:50 PM  
Crimony, what kind of drinking would it take to marry that woman, and then have sex with her, and tape it???
 
2013-11-11 09:16:47 PM  
Why even leak word of it then? Or was there an audience there who subsequently needed shock therapy to wash the hideous site from their minds?
 
2013-11-11 09:17:25 PM  
"sight" not "site"
 
2013-11-11 09:58:20 PM  
All I know is the other day I watched the Tami Erin sex tape, and it was glorious.
 
2013-11-11 10:05:29 PM  

Lee451: Why even leak word of it then? Or was there an audience there who subsequently needed shock therapy to wash the hideous site from their minds?


To sell books.
 
2013-11-11 10:16:45 PM  
Only if it was on... What was the pro-format circa 1992?
 
2013-11-11 10:16:50 PM  

hammettman: Crimony, what kind of drinking would it take to marry that woman, and then have sex with her, and tape it???


I di$agree. I £ike the wa¥ sh€ look$. $he's ¢ute.
 
2013-11-11 10:30:56 PM  
I just want to see how far apart they are when not squished together in a bra
 
2013-11-11 10:31:19 PM  

Uzzah: hammettman: Crimony, what kind of drinking would it take to marry that woman, and then have sex with her, and tape it???

I di$agree. I £ike the wa¥ sh€ look$. $he's ¢ute.


Hope you're aware that she was cut out of Aaron Spelling's will and didn't receive an expected slice of his $500 million fortune.  Still think she's cute?
 
2013-11-11 10:34:49 PM  
I'd like to think such a horrifying sequence of events would not even stick to the videotape.
 
2013-11-11 11:37:02 PM  
This thread could easily be replaced with the subject of Jenna Jameson getting back into porn.
 
2013-11-11 11:53:14 PM  

hammettman: Uzzah: hammettman: Crimony, what kind of drinking would it take to marry that woman, and then have sex with her, and tape it???
I di$agree. I £ike the wa¥ sh€ look$. $he's ¢ute.
Hope you're aware that she was cut out of Aaron Spelling's will and didn't receive an expected slice of his $500 million fortune.  Still think she's cute?


Her husband appears to be quite fond of her. They have four kids, I think. You all are so $hallow.
 
2013-11-12 12:18:33 AM  
Her husband appears to be quite fond of her

ye$, i$n't he?
he dumped a hot wife for her
 
2013-11-12 12:48:55 AM  
I'd watch it


i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-11-12 01:03:50 AM  

jaylectricity: This thread could easily be replaced with the subject of Jenna Jameson getting back into porn.


Dont farking joke about this....  Brb.

*google news searchs for Jenna Jameson*


Godammitsomuch
 
2013-11-12 01:19:51 AM  

styckx: Godammitsomuch


Sorry, friend.
 
2013-11-12 02:26:56 AM  
we thank you for that, Ms Potato Head
 
2013-11-12 04:30:03 AM  
Tori Spelling played a cult member in the horror movie Cthulhu. This movie is based on HP Lovecraft's story The Shadow over Innsmouth. This means that her character is a human/deep one hybrid. Perfect casting, I'd say.
 
2013-11-12 05:27:22 AM  

Lord Summerisle: Christ, she looks like Rocky Dennis from the film  Mask.


while I can't speak for her husband, my current gf is the least attractive of all the women i've dated but  i can still knock a few out with her.  maybe he settled?
 
2013-11-12 06:06:56 AM  

jeanwearinfool: Lord Summerisle: Christ, she looks like Rocky Dennis from the film  Mask.

while I can't speak for her husband, my current gf is the least attractive of all the women i've dated but  i can still knock a few out with her.  maybe he settled?


I REALLY hope she doesn't have a fark account, and doesn't know you just said that, dude...
 
2013-11-12 07:08:18 AM  

Flappyhead: All I know is the other day I watched the Tami Erin sex tape, and it was glorious.


Truly, especially the anal.

/no tats, either...also a big plus.
 
2013-11-12 09:10:32 AM  
:( Sad. This means I'll still have to be tugging it to my shannon doherty sex tape (but with a picture of tori's head taped to the computer screen)
 
2013-11-12 09:44:16 AM  

batlock666: Tori Spelling played a cult member in the horror movie Cthulhu. This movie is based on HP Lovecraft's story The Shadow over Innsmouth. This means that her character is a human/deep one hybrid. Perfect casting, I'd say.


The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inaccessibility of the Tori Spelling sex tape. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The media, shewing us only occasional pictures of Her frightful visage, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the airing of Her, naked and engaged in unspeakably blasphemous acts, Her misshapen breasts jiggling and heaving like angry shoggoths, will open terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.
 
2013-11-12 12:25:55 PM  

batlock666: Tori Spelling played a cult member in the horror movie Cthulhu. This movie is based on HP Lovecraft's story The Shadow over Innsmouth. This means that her character is a human/deep one hybrid. Perfect casting, I'd say.


So someone took one of HPL's stories that was actually filmable, and jumbled in a buncha other HPL ideas...then called it CTHULHU?  And Tori Spelling was in it????

That's pretty much game over.
 
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