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(Derby Evening Telegraph)   Turns out this sort of thing only works on Christmas Eve   (derbytelegraph.co.uk) divider line 14
    More: Dumbass  
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6485 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Nov 2013 at 3:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-11 02:46:32 PM  
The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.
 
2013-11-11 03:18:13 PM  
FTA:

"Coroner Dr Robert Hunter reached a conclusion that Mr Gough ...  died as a result of misadventure."
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-11 03:58:23 PM  
British version: "Chim-chiminee, chim -chiminee, chim chim, cher-oo, a sweep is as lucky as lucky can be!..."

American version: "Vern! Git the poke stick! We gots anudder dead 'un in the chimney!"
 
2013-11-11 04:00:35 PM  
jmount43.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-11 04:03:23 PM  

He had brick indentations across his back and chest.


Sounds like he got wedged in there and suffocated. Nasty way to go.

Unless he got stuck some other ways and the brick marks were from the body decomposing and swelling a bit.
 
2013-11-11 04:03:25 PM  
Will the solicitors get sued for causing this man's death?
 
2013-11-11 04:03:59 PM  
* way, singular
 
2013-11-11 04:04:15 PM  
hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-11 04:08:44 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-11-11 04:45:10 PM  
They say he succumbed to flue-like symptoms.

maxpics.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-11 05:03:22 PM  

FatherChaos: They say he succumbed to flue-like symptoms.


People said he should break in through the window, but that way didn't soot him.
 
2013-11-11 05:14:10 PM  
His body was found inside the chimney at Moody and Woolley Solicitors, in St Mary's Gate, Derby, on May 1.


farm1.staticflickr.com
 
2013-11-11 10:11:54 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.


Wow. Just wow.............
 
2013-11-12 09:58:08 AM  

kling_klang_bed: Anne.Uumellmahaye: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

Wow. Just wow.............


Story unclear. So was there never a Santa Claus, or was your dad Santa Claus all along?

I'm trying to determine whether I can sue someone or not.
 
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