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(Sauk Valley News)   Church shaped like a penis will not have its exterior modified because, according to the architect, "it was never meant to be seen from above. This is just proof that the internet is evil"   (saukvalley.com) divider line 153
    More: Followup, Dixon, Christian Scientists, Second Street, internet  
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18178 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Nov 2013 at 1:19 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



153 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-11 11:52:38 AM
Um, when you designed it, weren't the blue prints from a top-down perspective?  And you didn't notice anything odd?

i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-11-11 12:07:27 PM
cdn.inquisitr.com

With a curve like that you could really tilt someone's cervix.
 
2013-11-11 12:08:00 PM
He said it's "a little bit of a stretch" to say the church shape resembles what others suggest.

Hee hee.
 
2013-11-11 12:08:37 PM
Please tell me there is a fire hydrant on that corner............

/turn that thing on!
 
2013-11-11 12:12:27 PM

CapeFearCadaver: [cdn.inquisitr.com image 665x385]

With a curve like that you could really tilt someone's cervix.


I think between the two of us, we achieved the ying-yang of the wing-wang.
 
2013-11-11 12:17:03 PM

basemetal: Please tell me there is a fire hydrant on that corner............

/turn that thing on!


There's a photo floating around to such an effect- but it is also almost certainly photoshopped.

Mentat: Um, when you designed it, weren't the blue prints from a top-down perspective?  And you didn't notice anything odd?


Yeah... FTA "He said it's "a little bit of a stretch" to say the church shape resembles what others suggest. It was probably an accident, he said, and an architect wouldn't necessarily have noticed the shape while designing it."

1. 'A little bit of a stretch'? How about, "none whatsoever". It looks like exactly what everyone is saying it looks like.
2. The architect had to have been blind or stupid to have not noticed the shape when doing the drafting for it. I have half a bet that it was intentionally designed that way as a joke.

I have to laugh all the harder at the fact this is a CS church- which I feel I'm entirely entitled to do given I attend one myself. I only wish it were someplace that I knew people so I could rib them about it. What I wouldn't give for this to have been my parents' church down in Texas. :D
 
2013-11-11 12:30:10 PM

Mentat: ying-yang of the wing-wang


We should start a band.
 
2013-11-11 12:30:57 PM

basemetal: Please tell me there is a fire hydrant on that corner............

/turn that thing on!



I did see a pic of that last week. Not sure if it was real or 'shopped.
 
2013-11-11 12:52:15 PM

Blues_X: basemetal: Please tell me there is a fire hydrant on that corner............

/turn that thing on!


I did see a pic of that last week. Not sure if it was real or 'shopped.


weknowmemes.com
 
2013-11-11 12:55:47 PM
It also is just a nonsensical shape for a building. Is there a merry-go-round in the tip that we need to continue the idea of spinning in circles down the hallways of the shaft before we get to the worship center that is the testicles?
 
2013-11-11 12:56:55 PM
Isn't that the perspective that sky-god has?
 
2013-11-11 01:01:29 PM
People have this all wrong. Penises are shaped like this church.

God is all knowing and foresaw (nay, inspired) the construction of this church.

Mark my words, this church will play a key role in the coming events of our time.
 
2013-11-11 01:05:16 PM

bearded clamorer: Blues_X: basemetal: Please tell me there is a fire hydrant on that corner............

/turn that thing on!


I did see a pic of that last week. Not sure if it was real or 'shopped.

[weknowmemes.com image 640x340]


Shopped, unfortunately.  Would be funny as hell though.
 
2013-11-11 01:09:05 PM
FTFA:  "it's 'a little bit of a stretch' to say the church shape resembles what others suggest."

But show them a piece of toast with a burn spot resembling the Virgin Mary and they'll build a shrine to it.
 
2013-11-11 01:11:17 PM

bearded clamorer: Blues_X: basemetal: Please tell me there is a fire hydrant on that corner............

/turn that thing on!


I did see a pic of that last week. Not sure if it was real or 'shopped.

[weknowmemes.com image 640x340]


Awesome!
 
2013-11-11 01:14:21 PM
This is about fifty miles from me. My grandparents live in a neighboring town; I told her next time we went to visit we were going to stop by and get our picture taken in front of the penis church.
 
2013-11-11 01:15:09 PM
Dixon Church. Literally.
 
2013-11-11 01:24:08 PM
Hopefully they will put in some tasteful landscaping around the building unless they are into the bare look.
 
2013-11-11 01:24:34 PM
I prefer Dixon's Flying Penis statue outside the old post office.
 
2013-11-11 01:24:40 PM
Well, most classic churches, at least in the Catholic denomination, are cross-shaped. So they're sort of penis-y, with balls along for the ride (I know, I know they're supposed to be the arms of the cross).

But, really, it's not the first time there's been phallic architecture. However, vaginal architecture is much more rare, and it's usually much more meditative, for some reason.
 
2013-11-11 01:25:34 PM
Penis twill?
 
2013-11-11 01:26:20 PM
I am not a fan of religion, but I applaud them for this sensible decision.  What is the alternative?

"Lets spend a bunch of money unnecessarily because a bunch of people on the Internet are obsessed with dicks."

Plus, this sort of attention will probably only benefit their attendance in the long run.

/ dicks
 
2013-11-11 01:27:02 PM

CygnusDarius: Well, most classic churches, at least in the Catholic denomination, are cross-shaped. So they're sort of penis-y, with balls along for the ride (I know, I know they're supposed to be the arms of the cross).

But, really, it's not the first time there's been phallic architecture. However, vaginal architecture is much more rare, and it's usually much more meditative, for some reason.



Maybe, but it's just so boxy.
 
2013-11-11 01:27:10 PM
Everyone involved knew what was happening. That quote about publicity is evident here.
 
2013-11-11 01:27:23 PM
I like that the non-satellite image draws the building shape.

img.fark.net
 
2013-11-11 01:28:24 PM

basemetal: Please tell me there is a fire hydrant on that corner............

/turn that thing on!


I'm sure they'd do that as the hymn leader sings "How I Boldly Come Before Your Throne".
 
2013-11-11 01:29:57 PM
Sweet dick church
 
2013-11-11 01:29:59 PM
FTA:
"Members of the new Christian Science Church in Dixon designed the structure to preserve a tree, which gave the building its unique shape."

So they were trying to take care of some wood?

I think King Missle should write a song about this.
 
2013-11-11 01:30:26 PM
PENIS. Why can't the word be said???
 
2013-11-11 01:30:54 PM

KarmicDisaster: Isn't that the perspective that sky-god has?


I was just gonna say...
 
2013-11-11 01:31:22 PM
Uhm.    So where in the building did you post the mandatory fire-escape rout and alarm system diagrams?
 
2013-11-11 01:31:36 PM
Why would they bother spending money to modify it for something so stupid as this?
 
2013-11-11 01:32:21 PM
Can't they just pray for it to change shape?
 
2013-11-11 01:33:30 PM
Yeah, that's the least dick-shaped church I've ever seen. *Snert*

Yep, never was a building shaped so unlike a dick. Really!

Also, it doesn't look like a big, floppy brown dick either. Nope, not at all.

/ maybe, they're trying to tell us something
 
2013-11-11 01:34:03 PM
Came to learn what a penis twill is.

/leaving deflated.
 
2013-11-11 01:34:20 PM

doubled99: PENIS. Why can't the word be said???


Because it's mightier than the sword.
 
2013-11-11 01:34:46 PM

Banned on the Run: Can't they just pray for it to change shape?


Maybe spray it with cold water?
 
2013-11-11 01:34:47 PM

doubled99: PENIS. Why can't the word be said???


Welp, now you've gone and done it...
 
2013-11-11 01:35:28 PM

KarmicDisaster: Isn't that the perspective that sky-god has?


this times this much
 
2013-11-11 01:36:58 PM
Trying to preserve the tree.  That's a good one, wonder if people will buy it.

/not enough room anywhere else on that lot for the building
 
2013-11-11 01:37:07 PM

Banned on the Run: Can't they just pray for it to change shape?


I pray for mine to get bigger everyday. Hasn't worked yet. Perhaps I need to increase my tithing (up from zero).
 
2013-11-11 01:37:30 PM
Asked whether the church now intends to alter the shape, Shepherd answered, "None whatsoever," adding that he doesn't see what others think they see.

Okay but if it stays like that for more than 4 hours, you should go seek a medical professional.

img.fark.net
 
2013-11-11 01:38:00 PM

Banned on the Run: Can't they just pray for it to change shape?


I think they have to show the building an altar boy, that will get it to straighten up!
 
2013-11-11 01:38:35 PM
TFA: Talking about how it looks like a wang is also a form of "bullying"

I swear to FSM, if I hear one more thing called "bullying" that isn't even remotely bullying, I'm going to bully some bully with a bully bully!
 
2013-11-11 01:39:22 PM

doubled99: PENIS. Why can't the word be said???




Stop that! Think of the children!
 
2013-11-11 01:41:07 PM
Just needs some festive holiday lights for veins.
 
2013-11-11 01:41:43 PM
"And we didn't design it to be seen from above."


"Why not?" wonders God.
 
2013-11-11 01:41:43 PM

Lord Dimwit: TFA: Talking about how it looks like a wang is also a form of "bullying"

I swear to FSM, if I hear one more thing called "bullying" that isn't even remotely bullying, I'm going to bully some bully with a bully bully!


So...the church has a bully pulpit?
 
2013-11-11 01:42:49 PM
"The church was designed by an architect,"

Well, duh!
 
2013-11-11 01:43:10 PM
Oh it's called the Dixon church?? There's no way that's a coincidence. The architect totally did this on purpose.
 
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