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(AL.com)   Judge orders Harvey Updike, who poisoned Auburn University's oak trees, to pay $800,000 in damages. Harvey responds with "Roll, Tide, Roll" then strokes his cool mustache he named Crimson Tide that he grew in jail. With bonus photo of Crimson Tide   (blog.al.com) divider line 123
    More: Followup, Auburn University, Toomer  
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17639 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Nov 2013 at 9:20 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-10 02:14:51 AM
That is a pretty epic 'stache. Is he in the fried chicken business?

/no idea what a crimson tide is outside of the context of an algae bloom.
 
2013-11-10 08:47:53 AM
The judge also denied his request to be called Deacon Blues

/got nothing
 
2013-11-10 09:22:39 AM
It's not a toomer.
 
2013-11-10 09:23:28 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-10 09:24:12 AM
Counter-troll: They should name something after this guy on the Auburn campus. A grand granite urinal with his name and likeness would be appropriate.
 
2013-11-10 09:25:09 AM
800K seems pretty high.
 
2013-11-10 09:25:35 AM

Uranus Is Huge!: Counter-troll: They should name something after this guy on the Auburn campus. A grand granite urinal with his name and likeness would be appropriate.


I support this.
 
2013-11-10 09:27:32 AM
love the herp derp comments after the article. morans be lovin their college football, you bet.
 
2013-11-10 09:29:27 AM
What was the charge again? Herbicide?
 
2013-11-10 09:29:29 AM

Krymson Tyde: Uranus Is Huge!: Counter-troll: They should name something after this guy on the Auburn campus. A grand granite urinal with his name and likeness would be appropriate.

I support this.



I think every stadium in the SEC should have a urinal bank named after him to remind fans that while fun, it is only farking football.
 
2013-11-10 09:30:18 AM

Uranus Is Huge!: Counter-troll: They should name something after this guy on the Auburn campus. A grand granite urinal with his name and likeness would be appropriate.


It would need a Cam Newton jersey on it too.
 
2013-11-10 09:30:44 AM
Dude doesn't look like he could scrape together $800, let alone $800 grand. Sucks to be him.
 
2013-11-10 09:31:04 AM
Hmmm, $2000 in legal fees is very reasonable.
 
2013-11-10 09:31:41 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: 800K seems pretty high.


He (deliberately) poisoned old (200 yr?) trees as a result of a football feud. The only reason he shouldn't be locked up is so that he can earn enough money to try to help pay for the costs.
 
2013-11-10 09:32:14 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: 800K seems pretty high.


Soil remediation is really REALLY expensive.
 
2013-11-10 09:33:27 AM

Katie98_KT: AverageAmericanGuy: 800K seems pretty high.

He (deliberately) poisoned old (200 yr?) trees as a result of a football feud. The only reason he shouldn't be locked up is so that he can earn enough money to try to help pay for the costs.


Seems like they could just cut the trees off at the base, make some benches out of them, and put some sod around the stumps. That can't possibly cost 800K.

Maybe it does. I haven't priced cutting down and hauling away trees of that size.
 
2013-11-10 09:35:05 AM

Bowen: AverageAmericanGuy: 800K seems pretty high.

Soil remediation is really REALLY expensive.


How much to lay sod over it?

Back in my college days, they'd be putting down sod on Tuesday and pulling it up Monday. It doesn't seem like the grass would ever really get a chance to get too deep into the poisoned soil.
 
2013-11-10 09:36:37 AM
www.imfdb.org

"So tell me, Frank......... if you're tired of all that action, what're you doing sportin' that righteous 'stache?!?!?" -Dan Stark (Good Guys. Goddamn I miss that show)
 
2013-11-10 09:37:16 AM

Nick Nostril: Dude doesn't look like he could scrape together $800, let alone $800 grand. Sucks to be him.


So, he goes "off the grid", works odd jobs and just defaults on the payments,

Or they stick him jail but that just costs more money in the long run, and the possibility of finding gainful employment would be pretty much zero when he gets out, so.bankruptcy and welfare.

Either way, the city (taxpayers or Uni) is still stuck with the 800K bill on top of it to fix the damage. Sucks to be them, I'd say.
 
2013-11-10 09:37:25 AM

Katie98_KT: AverageAmericanGuy: 800K seems pretty high.

He (deliberately) poisoned old (200 yr?) trees as a result of a football feud. The only reason he shouldn't be locked up is so that he can earn enough money to try to help pay for the costs.


Yeah, but he sure showed those losers on the other team!
 
2013-11-10 09:41:06 AM
Are southerners all this stupid as Updike?
 
2013-11-10 09:41:57 AM
Auburn getting into the squeezing blood from a stone business, eh?

I always get lulzy at these massive settlements against people who clearly dont have the means. You'll really show that guy, who probably would never have earned or had that much money to begin with. Big win there.
 
2013-11-10 09:42:35 AM
the legal fees are the only thing out of order
 
2013-11-10 09:43:36 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Bowen: AverageAmericanGuy: 800K seems pretty high.

Soil remediation is really REALLY expensive.

How much to lay sod over it?

Back in my college days, they'd be putting down sod on Tuesday and pulling it up Monday. It doesn't seem like the grass would ever really get a chance to get too deep into the poisoned soil.


If someone dumped poison in your yard, you'd be okay with $300 worth of sod as restitution? I'll be right over.
 
2013-11-10 09:45:48 AM
 so much herbicide was used  without removing and adding new soil, new trees will die also. I think that is the case and probably contributes to the cost.

  Someone needs to douse some of that shiat on my privot hedges if that is the case.  Those bastard roots go straight to hell.

Also, this is why I hate football season. I live in the middle of this shait.  Roll tide/ war eagle.   Who gives a damn.
 
2013-11-10 09:46:17 AM
MisterTweak:

/no idea what a crimson tide is outside of the context of an algae bloom.

Me neither. Google tells me it's the name of Alabama's football team. Seems odd a 50 year old guy would get worked up this much over a football rivalry. I'm assuming (hoping?) there's more to the story.
 
2013-11-10 09:47:48 AM

Bowen: MisterTweak:

/no idea what a crimson tide is outside of the context of an algae bloom.

Me neither. Google tells me it's the name of Alabama's football team. Seems odd a 50 year old guy would get worked up this much over a football rivalry. I'm assuming (hoping?) there's more to the story.


Nope, that's pretty much it.
 
2013-11-10 09:49:04 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Katie98_KT: AverageAmericanGuy: 800K seems pretty high.

He (deliberately) poisoned old (200 yr?) trees as a result of a football feud. The only reason he shouldn't be locked up is so that he can earn enough money to try to help pay for the costs.

Seems like they could just cut the trees off at the base, make some benches out of them, and put some sod around the stumps. That can't possibly cost 800K.

Maybe it does. I haven't priced cutting down and hauling away trees of that size.


I had a full grown elm taken down and hauled off.  With stump removal and the roots dug out is was ~$3,500.  Cleaning up the soil can't cost that much.  Excavate a hole 10 feet deep 10 feet around the tree and fill it with fresh top soil.  Probably $10,000?  Go to a nursery and pick up another tree?  How much does a new tree cost?  $100?
 
2013-11-10 09:49:42 AM
Also the reason they may want to replace the stupid trees and not just put something else in the place of them is tradition.

Students covered the damn things with toilet paper every  week or month or something.  It looked tacky as hell and seems like a waste of tp.

/get off my lawn
 
2013-11-10 09:51:04 AM

Muta: AverageAmericanGuy: Katie98_KT: AverageAmericanGuy: 800K seems pretty high.

He (deliberately) poisoned old (200 yr?) trees as a result of a football feud. The only reason he shouldn't be locked up is so that he can earn enough money to try to help pay for the costs.

Seems like they could just cut the trees off at the base, make some benches out of them, and put some sod around the stumps. That can't possibly cost 800K.

Maybe it does. I haven't priced cutting down and hauling away trees of that size.

I had a full grown elm taken down and hauled off.  With stump removal and the roots dug out is was ~$3,500.  Cleaning up the soil can't cost that much.  Excavate a hole 10 feet deep 10 feet around the tree and fill it with fresh top soil.  Probably $10,000?  Go to a nursery and pick up another tree?  How much does a new tree cost?  $100?


I haven't read much about this story. Maybe he killed 80 trees.
 
2013-11-10 09:51:05 AM

Bowen: MisterTweak:

/no idea what a crimson tide is outside of the context of an algae bloom.

Me neither. Google tells me it's the name of Alabama's football team. Seems odd a 50 year old guy would get worked up this much over a football rivalry. I'm assuming (hoping?) there's more to the story.


That's it.  This is literally the only thing going in Alabama, this rivalry.
 
2013-11-10 09:51:08 AM

tartcake: Roll tide/ war eagle.   Who gives a damn.


After living in the South off and on, I'd say just about farking everybody. They are insane about football.
 
2013-11-10 09:51:33 AM

tartcake: Also the reason they may want to replace the stupid trees and not just put something else in the place of them is tradition.

Students covered the damn things with toilet paper every  week or month or something.  It looked tacky as hell and seems like a waste of tp.

/get off my lawn


the article says they are building a wire something on the spot
 
2013-11-10 09:51:40 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: Nick Nostril: Dude doesn't look like he could scrape together $800, let alone $800 grand. Sucks to be him.

So, he goes "off the grid", works odd jobs and just defaults on the payments,

Or they stick him jail but that just costs more money in the long run, and the possibility of finding gainful employment would be pretty much zero when he gets out, so.bankruptcy and welfare.

Either way, the city (taxpayers or Uni) is still stuck with the 800K bill on top of it to fix the damage. Sucks to be them, I'd say.


He's a retired Texas state trooper. I would imagine that the 500 bucks a month would be garnished from his pension. He'll still probably never pay the full amount of the judgment but I don't think he is defaulting while he's alive.
 
2013-11-10 09:51:41 AM

Bowen: MisterTweak:

/no idea what a crimson tide is outside of the context of an algae bloom.

Me neither. Google tells me it's the name of Alabama's football team. Seems odd a 50 year old guy would get worked up this much over a football rivalry. I'm assuming (hoping?) there's more to the story.


no.  that is the story.  And as far as grown men acting odd about it, my dad and one of his  brothers quit speaking for a year over this rivalry.
 
2013-11-10 09:52:10 AM

Muta: AverageAmericanGuy: Katie98_KT: AverageAmericanGuy: 800K seems pretty high.

He (deliberately) poisoned old (200 yr?) trees as a result of a football feud. The only reason he shouldn't be locked up is so that he can earn enough money to try to help pay for the costs.

Seems like they could just cut the trees off at the base, make some benches out of them, and put some sod around the stumps. That can't possibly cost 800K.

Maybe it does. I haven't priced cutting down and hauling away trees of that size.

I had a full grown elm taken down and hauled off.  With stump removal and the roots dug out is was ~$3,500.  Cleaning up the soil can't cost that much.  Excavate a hole 10 feet deep 10 feet around the tree and fill it with fresh top soil.  Probably $10,000?  Go to a nursery and pick up another tree?  How much does a new tree cost?  $100?


But you have to dispose/clean the contaminated soil. I'm familiar with this because NJ has very strict underground oil tank rules. It routinely costs $100k to remediate a leaky tank.
 
2013-11-10 09:53:05 AM

edmo: tartcake: Roll tide/ war eagle.   Who gives a damn.

After living in the South off and on, I'd say just about farking everybody. They are insane about football.


and Nascar
 
2013-11-10 09:53:59 AM

edmo: tartcake: Roll tide/ war eagle.   Who gives a damn.

After living in the South off and on, I'd say just about farking everybody. They are insane about football.


and Nascar.

I hate both.
 
2013-11-10 09:54:29 AM
What a jackass, but Oregon fans are still the worst.
 
2013-11-10 09:56:22 AM

libranoelrose: the article says they are building a wire something on the spot


I guess so that can be covered now  with ass streamers,  I guess?

/dammit, didn't mean to double post earlier
 
2013-11-10 09:58:25 AM

DoomPaul: What a jackass, but Oregon fans are still the worst.


Remember a few years back when Michigan played Appalachian State as a cupcake game, and A.S. won?  I lived in Michigan at the time, and was watching that game in my local brewery.  It was the damned thing:  everyone was cheering for A.S.  No local love for Michigan at all; in fact, quite the contrary.  In contrast, everyone loves the Spartans.

Maybe it was just my local crowd, but that surprised me.  I think they'd still root for Michigan against Ohio State, but that's different.
 
2013-11-10 09:59:07 AM
Am willing to bet $800k he never went to either Auburn or UA, but nevertheless he has a likeness of Bear Bryant somewhere in every room of his double-wide.
 
2013-11-10 10:02:11 AM

TheGregiss: Auburn getting into the squeezing blood from a stone business, eh?

I always get lulzy at these massive settlements against people who clearly dont have the means. You'll really show that guy, who probably would never have earned or had that much money to begin with. Big win there.


FTA: "The Court finds that the defendant is not without financial resources to make restitution payments to the victim in this case," the order stated. "In particular, the court finds that installation payments will not be overly burdensome on the victim or the defendant."

Just because you look like a sister-farker...
 
2013-11-10 10:05:56 AM
During the restitution hearing, Updyke's attorney, Andrew Stanley, argued that his client was indigent, had only $631 to his name at the time and was on Medicaid and Social Security disability. However, Walker ruled that no evidence was submitted to indicate that Updyke was unable to apply for part-time or full-time work to meet his obligations in the case, or that his health was any factor in applying for work.

Kudos to the judge.

Shame the guy will never pay the full amount.  $800k is 1600 months at 500/month.
 
2013-11-10 10:07:15 AM
Most college football teams have some farked up fans, but to poison a tree? Retard. On a funny note if this clown is anywhere near Auburn he's going to have his car windows smashed and probably beaten the fark up.

/I would know, I tend to drink at a local florida gator bar, I've been non-stop laughing at the gators all this year, yeah my tire got slashed too but its well worth it seeing the butthurt
 
2013-11-10 10:07:44 AM
I had 5 huge oaks removed and stump grinded(all were termite infested and dangerous). Then about 8 severely neglected palms removed and grinded.  Total bill was 2500 bucks.

/yes I am a contractor.
 
2013-11-10 10:10:33 AM

tartcake: Students covered the damn things with toilet paper every week or month or something. It looked tacky as hell and seems like a waste of tp.


Seems like a waste of TP until you're up in a tree and need to take a dump...
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-11-10 10:11:13 AM
So this was a football fan thing?

Forget the money... he should be in jail.  Idiotic.
 
2013-11-10 10:12:11 AM
I would pay to be allowed to remove some big stumps with a little too much TNT. Mythbusters wheeee.
 
2013-11-10 10:13:52 AM

Katie98_KT: AverageAmericanGuy: 800K seems pretty high.

He (deliberately) poisoned old (200 yr?) trees as a result of a football feud. The only reason he shouldn't be locked up is so that he can earn enough money to try to help pay for the costs.


Or he can plant a new tree for like a few hundred bucks and even that's a lot for a few seeds.

This is like suing somebody for a million dollars for downloading a song.  how the hell does a judge expect the average person to get this sort of money while still maintaining their own life?  There seriously needs to be a distinction in laws that separate punishments for individuals from punishments for corporations.  Their ability to pay is on two separate levels.
 
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