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(TreeHugger)   Scientist creates the world's first nutritionally balanced pizza using ingredients nobody wants to eat on a pizza   (treehugger.com) divider line 138
    More: Stupid, C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America, ingredients, Michael Pollan, raw foods, health claims  
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10644 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Nov 2013 at 10:49 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



138 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-10 08:42:32 AM
i915.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-10 09:24:07 AM
"It's still processed and, therefore, should be avoided."

Mostly the article was about how evil food is unless you hand trim the broccoli sprouts each week while nurturing them with bat guano you personally scrapped from the floor of the famed Meramac Caverns in Missouri and so on.
 
2013-11-10 10:24:40 AM
That article is bad and you should feel bad, subby
 
2013-11-10 10:48:27 AM
It's amazing how quickly I went from "yeah! Make your own food! It's better for you!" to "Oh, God this b*tch is f*cking crazy," while reading that article.

And not just because she advocates putting tomato sauce AND pesto on the same organically pretentious pizza.
 
2013-11-10 10:55:26 AM
"Calling all hipsters!  Calling all hipsters!  We've got a pizza for you!"
 
2013-11-10 10:55:57 AM
The only problem is that nutritionally balanced pizza already exists in many kitchens. It's called "homemade."

Yeah, you can say the same thing about any frozen food item.  People buy them because its convenient and they don't want to take the time to cut up and prepare all the ingredients you silly foodie.
 
2013-11-10 10:56:59 AM
what the fark am I reading?
 
2013-11-10 10:58:18 AM
I'd rather take the processed pizza at this point - I can swallow food additives more easily than the heaping load of pretentious s**t that she shovels onto her homemade recipe.
 
2013-11-10 10:58:55 AM
Well she belabored the f*ck out of her point.
 
2013-11-10 10:59:05 AM

edmo: "It's still processed and, therefore, should be avoided."

Mostly the article was about how evil food is unless you hand trim the broccoli sprouts each week while nurturing them with bat guano you personally scrapped from the floor of the famed Meramac Caverns in Missouri and so on.


the smug in that article almost escaped containment and contaminated my workshop, luckily my snark batteries were ready to counterattack before breakthrough occurred.
 
2013-11-10 10:59:11 AM
It's not hard to make a nutritionally balanced pizza:

Grains: crust
Dairy: mozz
Meat: pepperoni
Fruits/vegetables: tomato sauce

Done.
 
2013-11-10 10:59:51 AM
I've had tuna and eggs on pizza, along with (not in the same pizza) broccoli, parsnip, cucumber... Whole wheat crust, because regular white flour dough is too... doughy. There isn't really any kind of food you can put into a pizza to make it inedible. It'll be weird at first, but after that most people will get past the "WTF?" response and dig in.
 
2013-11-10 11:00:01 AM
Just keep in mind another one of Pollan's rules: "If it came from a plant, eat it; if it was made in a plant, don't."

Oh hell yeah!  I've been waiting for someone's permission to make a belladonna salad with castor beans and a tangy lemon & hemlock vinaigrette dressing.
 
2013-11-10 11:01:41 AM

Shaviv:  There isn't really any kind of food you can put into a pizza to make it inedible.


Razorblades.  Or worse, pineapple.
 
2013-11-10 11:01:53 AM
I'm more interested in reading about her solar powered carbon-neutral pizza oven. She does have one of those, right? Please tell me that she isn't burning wood or coal, splitting atoms or damming rivers to make that divine pizza. That would be a travesty.

/dnrtfa.
//never eaten a decent homemade pizza
 
2013-11-10 11:02:08 AM

MrHappyRotter: belladonna salad


your salad is giving me the weirdest boner right now
 
2013-11-10 11:02:16 AM
How do you make a food that will provide balance without knowing what an individual is deficient in or has in excess of?
 
2013-11-10 11:03:21 AM
What a douchey article writer. Subby deserves a smack upside the head with a chair for sharing that.

*CHAIRSHOT*
 
2013-11-10 11:03:30 AM

MrHappyRotter: Just keep in mind another one of Pollan's rules: "If it came from a plant, eat it; if it was made in a plant, don't."

Oh hell yeah!  I've been waiting for someone's permission to make a belladonna salad with castor beans and a tangy lemon & hemlock vinaigrette dressing.


Yeah. Salmonella is natural. You want some of that on your pizzA?!
 
2013-11-10 11:04:16 AM

MrHappyRotter: Shaviv:  There isn't really any kind of food you can put into a pizza to make it inedible.

Razorblades.  Or worse, pineapple.


I'll take the razor blades.
 
2013-11-10 11:04:45 AM
The condescending, holier than thou attitude made me want to make that lady a pizza with some greasy, nitrate- laden, factory farmed sausage just so I could see the look on her face when I told her where I "sourced" my ingredients.

Being healthy is one thing, but nothing will make people hate you faster than acting like you're better than everyone.
 
2013-11-10 11:05:11 AM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: How do you make a food that will provide balance without knowing what an individual is deficient in or has in excess of?


All people are deficient in pizza. It's a given. And some need it in 30 minutes or less or they will DIE! This is serious bid'ness!!!
 
2013-11-10 11:05:50 AM
The article doesn't seem overly pretentious to me. She has a point, it's easy to make wholesome food at home.

/going to start some pizza dough now
//with organic flour grown and milled right in my own state
///and top it with cheese from a local creamery
////and sauce from my own organic heirloom tomatoes and basil
 
2013-11-10 11:06:27 AM
No thanks.  I only eat 100% natural pizza.

thewakeupcallradioshow.com
 
2013-11-10 11:07:11 AM
I've eaten a lot of pizza in my time. I've never been fat, either. So, just enjoy your pizza any way you want to. It's not the reason you're fat.

/I take mine plain or with veggie toppings.
 
2013-11-10 11:07:12 AM
I for one am appalled that the article doesn't address the importance of cooking the pizza in a hemp powered stove hand forged from iron smelted via sustainable ore sources.
 
2013-11-10 11:08:36 AM
gifrific.com
 
2013-11-10 11:08:40 AM

MrHappyRotter: Shaviv:  There isn't really any kind of food you can put into a pizza to make it inedible.

Razorblades.   Or worse, pineapple.


Wash yer mouth out with lye soap, you heathen. Pineapple/ham pizza is teh awesomest!
 
2013-11-10 11:08:40 AM
That article is a double helping of angst, and I'm only supposed to be getting one serving a day
 
2013-11-10 11:08:52 AM
Who in their right mind makes a pizza with broccoli on it? The writer belongs in Gitmo.
 
2013-11-10 11:10:07 AM

Shostie: It's amazing how quickly I went from "yeah! Make your own food! It's better for you!" to "Oh, God this b*tch is f*cking crazy," while reading that article.

And not just because she advocates putting tomato sauce AND pesto on the same organically pretentious pizza.


I like both tomato sauce and pesto on pizza. It was one of the few things the author said that didn't make me hate her.
 
2013-11-10 11:12:48 AM
Pfftttt.

I make healthy, nutritious mini pizzas using a starfish and seaweed.
 
2013-11-10 11:13:08 AM

Shostie: It's amazing how quickly I went from "yeah! Make your own food! It's better for you!" to "Oh, God this b*tch is f*cking crazy," while reading that article.

And not just because she advocates putting tomato sauce AND pesto on the same organically pretentious pizza.


Yes, that's definitely overkill. I mean, pesto on a pizza can be delicious, but tomato sauce is just gonna compete with it, maybe even overpower it.

Gotta pick one sauce and stick with it...
 
2013-11-10 11:14:34 AM
I couldn't get through that whole thing, she was giving me a headache.  I wonder if anyone has ever explained to her that pizza is one of those foods that we treat ourselves to because it's not exactly good for you....because it tastes good.
 
2013-11-10 11:20:15 AM
...trying to rescue the greasy desecration that frozen, prepared pizza has become.

This.

weblogs.sun-sentinel.com

Tastes like the box it comes in.
 
2013-11-10 11:21:45 AM
I only eat natural pizzas that I can forage in the forest for.

By far my favorite is Acorn/acorn/acorn with double twigs,  but  I often eat pinecone/leafmold pizzas sprinkled with a little Woolly adelgid for flavor.       This year we tried a bearpoop and mapleleaf pizza that was not really that good at all.

Natural.
 
2013-11-10 11:22:00 AM
So what is on the pizza? Smugness wouldn't allow me to get past the second awfully written paragraph. Someone needs to punch that douche in his throat.
 
2013-11-10 11:22:06 AM
Some weird pizzas I have known:

caper pizza - Ordered by a friend when I was a student in France. That's wha it had on it--capers. Nothing but capers!

sea food - Speaking of frozen, that's what you might find in the frozen food section in Europe. A pizza with squid. Great if you love Sushi but want it all cooked on a pizza.

spinach - Yum! Every kid's favourite. You can get it at the local drug store. Add some oysters and you have a Pizza Rockefeller.

Hawaiian - What is this mania for putting pineapple in foods that should not have pineapple? Pizza? salad?

Canadian - This is actually a good one. It has bacon. Possibly Canadian bacon as well, but definitely rasher bacon. Screw pepperoni. Bacon is better. May contain Canadian chedder or other Canadian-type things.

ice cream - I've never actually had one of those but I've seen ads for them. Yum! I scream, You scream, we all scream for ice cream pizza!
 
2013-11-10 11:22:36 AM
Thinking that what you are cooking at home from scratch is nutritionally balanced because it is "homemade" is the height of hubris. Unlike manufacturers who have to identify each and every ingredient and supply a correct nutritional value to a product, things made at home from "raw materials" are mostly haphazard concoctions that are created without the vaguest sense of its actual nutritional value.

I'm not advocating sucking down packets of ketchup, but I am suggesting that assuming something is healthy just because it is homemade is illogical.
 
2013-11-10 11:23:57 AM
"leftover chicken bought from a friend's farm "

Well, at least she didn't buy leftover chicken from a stranger's farm.  That would be weird.
Leftover chicken?
 
2013-11-10 11:24:49 AM
offmymeds:
This.

Tastes like the box it comes in.


Not defending DiGiorno, but if you're going to buy a frozen pizza in a box, its one of the least bad options out there.  The leaper with the most fingers, as it were.  Probably has some fingers ground up in there, too, but I digress.
 
2013-11-10 11:25:44 AM

Shaviv: I've had tuna and eggs on pizza, along with (not in the same pizza) broccoli, parsnip, cucumber... Whole wheat crust, because regular white flour dough is too... doughy. There isn't really any kind of food you can put into a pizza to make it inedible. It'll be weird at first, but after that most people will get past the "WTF?" response and dig in.


Please tell me the cukes were added after baking. Cooked cucumbers are a crime against humanity.
 
2013-11-10 11:25:45 AM

farkfarkfark: "leftover chicken bought from a friend's farm "

Well, at least she didn't buy leftover chicken from a stranger's farm.  That would be weird.
Leftover chicken?


Beaks and assholes.
 
2013-11-10 11:26:18 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Thinking that what you are cooking at home from scratch is nutritionally balanced because it is "homemade" is the height of hubris. Unlike manufacturers who have to identify each and every ingredient and supply a correct nutritional value to a product, things made at home from "raw materials" are mostly haphazard concoctions that are created without the vaguest sense of its actual nutritional value.

I'm not advocating sucking down packets of ketchup, but I am suggesting that assuming something is healthy just because it is homemade is illogical.


You mean there are calories in my homemade cheesecake?!?
 
2013-11-10 11:26:55 AM
Did the article's writer make it all about him?
 
2013-11-10 11:27:06 AM

buzzcut73: Who in their right mind makes a pizza with broccoli on it? The writer belongs in Gitmo.


I've had this (pizza vegetarien). Yuck. Broccoli. It tries to warn you with its horrible taste.

I'm OK with vegetarian but cruxiferous vegetables are only edible if boiled until soft and buried in a mound of cheese. Pizza Broccoli Divan might be all right.
 
2013-11-10 11:27:36 AM
I like that the author of TFA pish-poshes what those silly scientists say about pizza and honestly truly believe that the cheese-soaked broccoli bread they included a picture of is healthier than what those silly science guys came up with, because they made it in their very own kitchen with their own two hands.

/at least it's not a Chicago-style casserole
 
2013-11-10 11:27:58 AM

Grumpy Cat: AverageAmericanGuy: Thinking that what you are cooking at home from scratch is nutritionally balanced because it is "homemade" is the height of hubris. Unlike manufacturers who have to identify each and every ingredient and supply a correct nutritional value to a product, things made at home from "raw materials" are mostly haphazard concoctions that are created without the vaguest sense of its actual nutritional value.

I'm not advocating sucking down packets of ketchup, but I am suggesting that assuming something is healthy just because it is homemade is illogical.

You mean there are calories in my homemade cheesecake?!?


Yes, but only good calories. Not like the calories from frozen cheesecakes at Safeway or worse, the calories in the cheesecakes from The Cheesecake Factory.

Everyone knows restaurants boost the calories to make the flavor stand out.
 
2013-11-10 11:28:08 AM
The short, not stupid version: "Eat food that is actually food, not a chemistry project, you fatasses"
 
2013-11-10 11:28:44 AM

Shaviv: I've had tuna and eggs on pizza, along with (not in the same pizza) broccoli, parsnip, cucumber... Whole wheat crust, because regular white flour dough is too... doughy. There isn't really any kind of food you can put into a pizza to make it inedible. It'll be weird at first, but after that most people will get past the "WTF?" response and dig in.


I once made a cajun shrimp pizza; used some Cajun Power garlic sauce (thinned with water due to intensity), cheddar cheese, shrimp, and I think onions or something. Probably could have used some spinach or something but it turned out pretty good, except the pre-cooked shrimp got chewy. Still tasty.

I don't make 'real' pizza very often though because unless you spend a lot more on pre-sliced fresh vegetables, it's a pain to go through all the steps for something that takes me ~10 minutes to inhale. Thankfully Wegmans has really good pizza, both take out, and frozen.
 
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