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(WTKR)   Will the anti-wolf defenses work? Who will fall down the stairs? It's the christening of the aircraft carrier Gerald R. Ford. LGT 11am ET livestream and 'Damn that's big' photos   (wtkr.com) divider line 27
    More: Spiffy, President Gerald Ford, Navy Secretary Ray Mabus, navies, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, President Gerald R. Ford, Jonathan Greenert  
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3904 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2013 at 10:52 AM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-11-09 11:36:56 AM
6 votes:
The stumblestairs are the best feature of the Gerald R. Ford.

/We have secretly made one step an inch higher than the rest. Let's see if anyone notices the difference.
2013-11-09 11:37:39 AM
3 votes:

Fuggin Bizzy: BravadoGT: we don't even know whether we can defend them against China's "carrier-killers"...

Good point. We'd better double the defense budget. We cannot allow a carrier-killer gap!


Fear China's 'Squeaky Fromme'-class frigates!!
2013-11-09 11:23:23 AM
2 votes:
Ship's Motto: "Quomodo autem posset infernum Nixon ignoscit?"
2013-11-09 11:03:28 AM
2 votes:
Allow all scripts
Allow all scripts
Allow all scripts

Still no video?

Are these the same guys that did the Obamacare web site?
2013-11-09 03:45:56 PM
1 votes:

SuperNinjaToad: hasty ambush

If you're going to fix the chart right at least be fair to the entire chart!. You're just being intellectually dishonest. You're right it's not up to date but on the US AND the non US side as well. How convenient you only 'corrected' the USN's.

Last I check ALL ships/carriers go through year long refit not just USN's. In countries that has one or two it means they will have only one or NO carriers. The first QE class is not anywhere near completion let alone having 2 same with India, Japan etc. France has 1 carrier NOT 2.

If you're going to fix charts at least make it accurate!


Ladies, please. You're  both pretty!
2013-11-09 01:47:34 PM
1 votes:

semiotix: Tom! But they said you were dead!


From San Diego up to Maine,
In every wannabe's fancy,
Where silly hacks write boilerplate,
It's there you'll find "Tom Clancy"!
It's there you'll find "Tom Clancy"!

/apologies to Joe Hill
2013-11-09 01:27:41 PM
1 votes:
semiotix:Show me a circumstance in which China would feel free to blow up a US aircraft carrier with a conventional missile but not a nuclear one, and I'll show you a spec draft for the latest Tom Clancy-branded novel.

BravadoGT:1.  China transfers carrier-killer missiles to hostile country, like Iran.
2.  Israel attacks Iranian nuclear program.
3.  Iran attacks Tel Aviv, Dimona, and uses new-found tech against US carrier in Persian gulf.


Tom! But they said you were dead!
2013-11-09 12:44:08 PM
1 votes:

J. Frank Parnell: netcentric: Big, expensive .... not paid for.

Just put it on the US taxpayers tab. They're good like that.


It is always OK to spend money on these things, but never on critical infrastructure in the civilian world. I thought everyone understood this?
2013-11-09 12:23:38 PM
1 votes:
Gerald R. Ford had a tough life in the wilds of Michigan. At the age of seven he was devoured by wolves, so his Father whittled a boy out of wood. As the years passed, he was upgraded until he became a wooden man.

His wooden head served him well at Michigan State University, where he was first in his class and a linesman on the football team. His numbskull and his wooden manners and greater than average heighth were noticed by scouts for the Republican party and he became a Republican Stooge.

Nixon realized that such a idiot could be useful and got Ford appointed to the Commission into the JFK assassination. Ford was so thick he swallowed all the shiat fed to him by Nixon and the other conspirators and when Spiro Agnew was prematurely caught with his hands in the cookie jar, Ford was selected as the Fall Guy for Nixon's next conspiracy, Watergate. Unfortunately, Nixon was forced to resign before Ford could be implicated, but a grateful President Ford pardoned everybody left and right, so that wooden head came in useful one last time.

Today we honor that little wooden boy who became President by naming a ship after him. True, ships are no longer built of planks, tar and rope, but Gerald R. Ford was unsinkable, so it's a good name for a boat.
2013-11-09 11:55:24 AM
1 votes:

BravadoGT: Before you start thinking these things are juggernauts--remember, we don't even know whether we can defend them against China's "carrier-killers"...

And one day--we may have to.


China, like many countries far less technologically capable than China, can send a nuclear weapon on a rocket into space and have it land on a specific  part of an aircraft carrier.

Show me a circumstance in which China would feel free to blow up a US aircraft carrier with a conventional missile but not a nuclear one, and I'll show you a spec draft for the latest Tom Clancy-branded novel. It'd go something like this.

With President Stern Lanternjaw hospitalized while receiving treatment for the Super-AIDS virus that the Russo-Japanese alliance had infected him with, Acting President Snidely von Liberal was sitting in the Oval Office when the COMSECDEFFLTPAC brought him news that the Chinese People's Army Navy had destroyed the  USS Nimitz with a carrier-killer missile.

"Mr. 'President,'" the COMSECDEFFLTPAC spat, hating the taste of the word in his mouth, "this is an act of naked aggression. It is war, sir, and we must retaliate with all we have, immediately."

"But, but... a carrier-killer uses conventional explosives!" von Liberal wailed, as tears ran down his blubbery face. "We've drawn a line around use of WMDs, but we never said they couldn't blow up our ships with regular weapons! If we retaliate, I'll be humiliated at U.N. cocktail parties!"


But even then, it's not fear of starting a war with the US that keeps China from aiming them at us. It's the fact that China has about as much to gain from attacking the US as you do from setting your car on fire, while it's in your garage.
2013-11-09 11:42:42 AM
1 votes:

Lee Jackson Beauregard: ZAZ: BolshyGreatYarblocks

Ford saw combat on a carrier, so he got a carrier. Carter served on a sub, so he got a sub. FDR was assistant secretary of the Navy, so he got an assistant surface vessel.

Actually CV-42 was named after FDR.  It was decommissioned. Get over it.

So on which carrier did St. Ronald serve?


he was in a movie
2013-11-09 11:38:36 AM
1 votes:
what the hell, let's see if it floats this is boring
2013-11-09 11:36:49 AM
1 votes:

mudpants: The Navy enters the 22nd century on Saturday with the christening of its newest aircraft carrier, the Gerald R. Ford, at Newport News Shipyard

are my maths wrong or is this not the way math works ?


It's like how you can buy a 2014 model year car right now, or the December issue of your favorite magazine.
2013-11-09 11:32:34 AM
1 votes:
Can't wait for "The Real Locker Wars of The USS Ford" reality show. Every week a bunch of sailors' lockers are switched and they have one day to track them down.
2013-11-09 11:23:53 AM
1 votes:
"The arresting gear that grabs planes when they land will be software-controlled, with the goal being less wear and tear on the planes."

You'd think the "goal" would be less explosions, fireballs, death, destruction and general mayhem on deck during landings. But what do I know about programming software.

"Ghost Rider to Tower"
"This is Tower, go ahead"
"Permission to buzz the Tower?"
"Negative Ghost Rider, the buffer is full, I repeat, the buffer IS full"
2013-11-09 11:23:52 AM
1 votes:

HMS_Blinkin: Yeah, not watching Cheney and Rumsfeld.  F*ck those assholes.


Hoping that they use their heads to do the christening with.......
2013-11-09 11:16:23 AM
1 votes:

BravadoGT: Fuggin Bizzy: sefert: What does LGT stand for?  Lesbian, Gay, Transsexual?  Is this another one of them liberal groups?

"Link Goes To"

Our military is too goddamn big. This is a machine that will ultimately end up killing people in the name of protecting and extending US hegemony. It represents, in the final sense...

Still...military hardware is cool. Especially super-carriers.

/So conflicted.

Before you start thinking these things are juggernauts--remember, we don't even know whether we can defend them against China's "carrier-killers"...

And one day--we may have to.


well it's got nice whitewall tires
2013-11-09 11:11:32 AM
1 votes:
The Navy enters the 22nd century on Saturday with the christening of its newest aircraft carrier, the Gerald R. Ford, at Newport News Shipyard

are my maths wrong or is this not the way math works ?

and oh my got that singing is horrid
2013-11-09 11:09:06 AM
1 votes:
My old landlord was Steve Ford.  He doesnt really care for politics, but he's pretty pumped about this giant boat.

/Had to wait a couple weeks to tell him how excited I was that he was in Heat, and Starship Troopers.
//Weird guy, that man.
2013-11-09 11:08:47 AM
1 votes:
I watched my first ship, USS Horne, come out of dry dock in '82, it's a site to see.  May this ship never be used in war and may it's crew always have fair winds following seas.
2013-11-09 11:05:54 AM
1 votes:
The signature dish in the officers mess will be chicken wings.

i.cdn.turner.com
2013-11-09 11:03:28 AM
1 votes:
HA!  It launches planes with FRIGGING RAILGUNS instead of steam!
2013-11-09 11:01:55 AM
1 votes:
I'm on a boat,
1.bp.blogspot.com
motherf*cker!
2013-11-09 10:59:07 AM
1 votes:

ZAZ: I'm with sefert. Fark is discriminating against bisexual aircraft carriers. What if the crew includes both Navy and Marines?


and seamen
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-11-09 10:58:17 AM
1 votes:
I'm with sefert. Fark is discriminating against bisexual aircraft carriers. What if the crew includes both Navy and Marines?
2013-11-09 10:55:56 AM
1 votes:
check check check, testing one too

my tax dollars at work
2013-11-09 10:55:52 AM
1 votes:
That's what she said.
 
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