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(New York Daily News)   Today's lesson for lonely noobs: How not to post online dating profile photos   (nydailynews.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, bed sheets, lessons, dating, mermaids  
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12327 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2013 at 11:03 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-09 12:20:58 PM  

LeroyBourne: So if I make a dating profile I should just drop a yam down my pants?


That's not hilarious. No, you should post a picture like this guy (I saved this because he's my dream man):

imageshack.us

People understand sarcasm and inside jokes as well on dating sites as they do around here. Trust me, post something stupid and the girls will love it!!  Especially if you're a very serious person. Your true soul mate will "get it."

/Do not take dating advice from me
//See any previous post from me, ever.
 
2013-11-09 12:28:44 PM  

cryinoutloud: That's not hilarious. No, you should post a picture like this guy (I saved this because he's my dream man):


Is that the cat guy from Key West?
 
2013-11-09 01:02:54 PM  

RedPhoenix122: This is the funniest damn thing I've found in awhile:


Enough with the small hats.
Don't know how that got to be a thing, but most of us can't pull it off. Tiny skinny jeans hipsters get a pass, but for most of us, just no.

/Lanky long-face here, no sour grapes at all.
//Not envious.
///No sir, not one bit.
 
2013-11-09 01:05:01 PM  
If I wasn't already taken by my dream girl, I'd take a try with watermelon-girl, or pouring-a-drink-on-herself girl.  Little old for the latter, though.

/I'm too old for her, you sick-minded farks
//welcome to fark
 
2013-11-09 01:12:13 PM  
farkingismybusiness:

That guy needed to become a meme. You have done the world a great service.

Also,

assets.nydailynews.com

Nothing like a nice picnic at a landfill on a breezy, Autumn day.
 
2013-11-09 01:12:41 PM  

Space_Poet: cryinoutloud: That's not hilarious. No, you should post a picture like this guy (I saved this because he's my dream man):
Is that the cat guy from Key West?


If you mean the guy who has trained cats in Key West, no. It came from some very old Fark thread about a guy who claimed he could give good investment advice because it came from his cat or something. That was his picture from his website.
 
2013-11-09 01:13:09 PM  

RedPhoenix122: This is the funniest damn thing I've found in awhile:

[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 500x485]


... and fedoras are for douchebags.
 
2013-11-09 01:16:57 PM  

offmymeds: Worst dating profile photos of all time
Hats off to this guy, who should have no problems luring a lady friend into his web of seduction thanks to his knockout fashion sense.

This is a GUY???!!!11!!???

HOT!!!

/like Chernobyl


That watermelon picture reminds me of the Stephen King story of the guy who grazed on the lawn.
 
2013-11-09 01:49:56 PM  
I'm pretty sure i know watermelon girl.
 
2013-11-09 02:01:19 PM  
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

A few more fine examples HERE
 
2013-11-09 02:06:42 PM  

EJ25T: RedPhoenix122: This is the funniest damn thing I've found in awhile:

[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 500x485]

... and fedoras

trilbys  are for douchebags.


i105.photobucket.com
This is a fedora.
 
2013-11-09 02:10:46 PM  

traylor: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 503x661]

A few more fine examples HERE


i105.photobucket.com
I like a woman with a big fish.
 
2013-11-09 02:15:42 PM  

FloydA: EJ25T: RedPhoenix122: This is the funniest damn thing I've found in awhile:

[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 500x485]

... and fedoras trilbys  are for douchebags.

This is a fedora.


Thank you. Precise language is everything.

/Didn't know what the silly small hats are called.
//Too farking lazy to look up.
///Wearing a baseball cap right now. Maybe overcompsating for femme tendencies.
 
2013-11-09 02:15:58 PM  

FloydA: traylor: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 503x661]

A few more fine examples HERE

[i105.photobucket.com image 500x375]
I like a woman with a big fish.


Are you sure she isn't using that as an air freshener?
 
2013-11-09 02:20:58 PM  

Kibbler: If I were single, my online dating pictures would be:

Me cooking dinner
Me raking leaves (just had to do that this morning)
Me vacuuming
Me cleaning the litterbox


The ladies in my 50ish age class would be all over me.

mrwgifs.com
 
2013-11-09 02:22:22 PM  
#1, #7.

Don't bother bathing them, just bring them to me.


/old
//not picky
///wears condoms
 
2013-11-09 02:23:31 PM  
pushcart:
Thank you. Precise language is everything.

/Didn't know what the silly small hats are called.
//Too farking lazy to look up.
///Wearing a baseball cap right now. Maybe overcompsating for femme tendencies.



No prob.  Sinatra was the only person in history who ever wore a trilby without looking like a complete schlemiel, and even he looked kind of dorky.  Nobody should ever wear a trilby.
 
2013-11-09 02:25:24 PM  

AbuHashish: FloydA: traylor: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 503x661]

A few more fine examples HERE

[i105.photobucket.com image 500x375]
I like a woman with a big fish.

Are you sure she isn't using that as an air freshener?


Of course; why do you think I like her?  It's those little extra touches of effort that really make an online dating profile appealing.  I have no idea what any of the other rooms in any of the other pictures smell like, but that one, I know for certain.
 
2013-11-09 02:29:48 PM  

Kibbler: If I were single, my online dating pictures would be:

Me cooking dinner
Me raking leaves (just had to do that this morning)
Me vacuuming
Me cleaning the litterbox

The ladies in my 50ish age class would be all over me.


HAHAHAHA!!!

Ain't this the truth.

My Princess states she would beat down any 'chicky' that makes a run on me.

She also states that it would cost too much to replace me, what with the mechanical, outdoor, indoor, and 'House Boy' services I gleefully provide.

Plus, I still have my original teeth, and most of my hair is still topside.
 
2013-11-09 02:55:53 PM  

xanadian: dopekitty74: Stupid phone will only let me view the first two. Anyone can deslidify please?

Deslided (I hope)


Thanks, that last guy makes me think of the Berserker guy in Clerks for some reason
 
2013-11-09 03:48:49 PM  
Marcus Aurelius: The watermelon girl was in an article a couple days ago, and it was most definitely NOT a dating profile.

GIS by image reveals no occurrence of that photo on any sort of dating site.

Therefore, I claim that this article.

furiousfanboys.com
 
2013-11-09 04:56:18 PM  

jim32rr: User can not be ignored while favorited. That is all


Hey jim32rr you bought me TF back in April.  Not sure what I did to deserve but thanks anyway. <3
 
2013-11-09 05:24:13 PM  

traylor: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 503x661]

A few more fine examples HERE


He's cute, has fun toys AND he does housework. I'm all over that!
 
2013-11-09 06:48:51 PM  

cryinoutloud: Hey, I'd date the guy in the bathtub--if he was about 40 years older, that is. A bubble bath, a glass of wine, and rubber gloves? I can't stop laughing at that picture.


Ninja boy is at least a 7; I'd need to see without all the dumb shiat on him, maybe a high 8.
 
2013-11-09 10:27:56 PM  

farkingismybusiness: [i.imgur.com image 660x495]


Result of don't stick you dick in crazy Chernobyl...
 
2013-11-09 10:30:36 PM  
Totally random thought - wtf is it with Russians tacking their rugs to the wall? I just don't get that. So the rugs are too precious to put under your feet, so we nail them to the wall? WTF?
 
2013-11-09 11:08:28 PM  

Macular Degenerate: Totally random thought - wtf is it with Russians tacking their rugs to the wall? I just don't get that. So the rugs are too precious to put under your feet, so we nail them to the wall? WTF?


I think that's the point where the rug becomes a tapestry instead. Or it's to help keep out the drafts, one or the other.
 
2013-11-10 02:02:04 AM  

Macular Degenerate: Totally random thought - wtf is it with Russians tacking their rugs to the wall? I just don't get that. So the rugs are too precious to put under your feet, so we nail them to the wall? WTF?


It probably increases insulation. It's cold out there.

In the Muslim cultures, you can't put pix up of human representations, so that's another factor.
 
2013-11-10 10:04:34 AM  

It's Me Bender: jim32rr: User can not be ignored while favorited. That is all

Hey jim32rr you bought me TF back in April.  Not sure what I did to deserve but thanks anyway. <3


I had just broke it off with your Mom, felt bad for you champ
 
2013-11-10 10:50:25 AM  
Eek
Just Eek
 
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