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(New York Daily News)   Today's lesson for lonely noobs: How not to post online dating profile photos   (nydailynews.com) divider line 80
    More: Amusing, bed sheets, lessons, dating, mermaids  
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12239 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2013 at 11:03 AM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-09 09:29:20 AM
We did this thread the other day but I can't find it.
 
2013-11-09 09:47:46 AM
This is the funniest damn thing I've found in awhile:

sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-11-09 10:41:14 AM
I've never seen a mermaid with a moustache before.

I'd actually let the watermelon girl go down on me.
 
2013-11-09 10:58:36 AM
The watermelon girl was in an article a couple days ago, and it was most definitely NOT a dating profile.
 
2013-11-09 11:06:32 AM
It's from that Russian dating photo tumblr or whatever that was linked to.  Funny, but repeat.
 
2013-11-09 11:07:34 AM
And I will pick my very best one...

/Too obscure?
 
2013-11-09 11:08:39 AM
Sweet fark, my eyes.  They actually screamed and inverted in their sockets when I got to the one of the...person...on the kitchen counter.  Was that a dude or a chick?  I couldn't get a good look with my eyeballs pointing backwards.
 
2013-11-09 11:09:02 AM
On a somewhat related topic, I JUST learned about Catfish.  I saw the movie the other day and didn't know there was a series after it!

I've been catching up onDemand and it's FASCINATING!!

I mean, there certainly is a common thread in all the women, which is sad.  It speaks to self-esteem more than maliciousness.

Though some of them biatches be CRAZY!!
 
2013-11-09 11:12:06 AM
long ago there was an ad campaign:

"Arby's is different. Different is good"

but here we see that:

"Russians are different."

and no one thinks that different is good.

ergo: Different is NOT good and Arby's sucks.
 
2013-11-09 11:12:40 AM
The second one looks like Scott Farkis or his buddy Toad from "A Christmas Story."

"Listen here, twerp.  When I say 'come' you better come."

"uncle uncle uncle uncle UNCLE UNNCCLLLLEEEE."
 
2013-11-09 11:13:02 AM
"Hi WatermelonMunchingBikiniCladGal - I saw your profile pic on "FruityLovers" website.

Can you please answer a question to help clarify our potential compatibility? Was the pictured watermelon male or female? Was the watermelon face-up or face-down? Oh, and do you like to eat Kiwi fruit with the fuzzy skin on or off?

/that is all
 
2013-11-09 11:13:45 AM
Well, maybe they're using strange bait because they are trying to catch strange fish.

Whatever works for them.
 
2013-11-09 11:14:08 AM
FarkSingles.com
 
2013-11-09 11:14:17 AM

jaylectricity: I've never seen a mermaid with a moustache before.

I'd actually let the watermelon girl go down on me.


I'd let most women go down on me.
 
2013-11-09 11:17:36 AM
assets.nydailynews.com

Hey, I'd date the guy in the bathtub--if he was about 40 years older, that is. A bubble bath, a glass of wine, and rubber gloves? I can't stop laughing at that picture.
 
2013-11-09 11:19:00 AM
That cosplayer was the best of the lot.  Not sure which anime he was referencing.

The guy with his shirt off was arguably the worst.
 
2013-11-09 11:19:10 AM

Nuclear Monk: FarkSingles.com


That was my thought
 
2013-11-09 11:20:49 AM
Eh, I'd bang the cross-eyed mermad
 
2013-11-09 11:21:50 AM

cryinoutloud: [assets.nydailynews.com image 610x479]

Hey, I'd date the guy in the bathtub--if he was about 40 years older, that is. A bubble bath, a glass of wine, and rubber gloves? I can't stop laughing at that picture.


User can not be ignored while favorited.  That is all
 
2013-11-09 11:21:53 AM
In other news, the Daily News will pay you to troll Russian dating websites.  So, get paid for the lulz when finding fuglies, but also hit on people better looking than most people of your own ethnic tribe at the same time; win-win.
 
2013-11-09 11:22:22 AM
The last guy, with the muscles, and the acne all over his chest, "Steroids much, my good dude?"
 
2013-11-09 11:22:29 AM
assets.nydailynews.com

Worst dating profile photos of all time
Hats off to this guy, who should have no problems luring a lady friend into his web of seduction thanks to his knockout fashion sense.


This is a GUY???!!!11!!???

assets.nydailynews.com

HOT!!!

/like Chernobyl
 
2013-11-09 11:23:45 AM
If I were single, my online dating pictures would be:

Me cooking dinner
Me raking leaves (just had to do that this morning)
Me vacuuming
Me cleaning the litterbox

The ladies in my 50ish age class would be all over me.
 
2013-11-09 11:24:15 AM
I almost peed my pants I laughed so hard...
 
2013-11-09 11:29:08 AM

cryinoutloud: [assets.nydailynews.com image 610x479]

Hey, I'd date the guy in the bathtub--if he was about 40 years older, that is. A bubble bath, a glass of wine, and rubber gloves? I can't stop laughing at that picture.


You forgot the cute little doggie, see, he's well balanced bad ass and sensitive too.  Also, I'll bet any money that's not wine, he looks 12.
/dish gloves also tells me he's freaky deaky
 
2013-11-09 11:41:03 AM
Russian dating site. These were probably all approved by a shirtless Putin after a long day of wrestling bears, so that would explain the cultural disconnect.
 
2013-11-09 11:45:27 AM

LeroyBourne: cryinoutloud: [assets.nydailynews.com image 610x479]

Hey, I'd date the guy in the bathtub--if he was about 40 years older, that is. A bubble bath, a glass of wine, and rubber gloves? I can't stop laughing at that picture.

You forgot the cute little doggie, see, he's well balanced bad ass and sensitive too.  Also, I'll bet any money that's not wine, he looks 12.
/dish gloves also tells me he's freaky deaky


I thought it was a girl.

/NTTAWWT
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-11-09 11:47:42 AM
I also thought tub guy was tub gi... can you say that on Fark?
 
2013-11-09 11:48:14 AM

LeroyBourne: You forgot the cute little doggie, see, he's well balanced bad ass and sensitive too. Also, I'll bet any money that's not wine, he looks 12.
/dish gloves also tells me he's freaky deaky


I think that's a different guy. (Bad slideshow and hot-linked.) As for him, hmmm......well, as you mentioned, his cute dog figures prominently in the picture. Good. He's waving a sword or something instead of a gun. Good, shows originality. Nice bod. Good. He looks kind of like my old boyfriend in college. If internet dating had existed back then, he could have posted a picture just like that on a dating site and thought it was freaking hilarious. Because he would be looking for a woman just like me, who thinks that his picture is also hilarious. You guys just don't get it.

The kid in the tub is probably scarier, since he's 12 and into things that require rubber gloves.
Thank god I don't date. it's way too complicated.
 
2013-11-09 11:48:31 AM
1) At the first pic, I thought "Rooskie dating site". At the second pic I thought "er, maybe a Nigel site". The rest of the pack settled it: definitely Rooskie.

2) If I were putting together a punk band, "Cross-eyed Mermaid" would be its name.


/ Will have nightmares about #8
 
2013-11-09 11:49:10 AM

Gergesa: That cosplayer was the best of the lot.  Not sure which anime he was referencing.

The guy with his shirt off was arguably the worst.


I think all the guys had their shirts off.
 
2013-11-09 11:51:14 AM

cryinoutloud: LeroyBourne: You forgot the cute little doggie, see, he's well balanced bad ass and sensitive too. Also, I'll bet any money that's not wine, he looks 12.
/dish gloves also tells me he's freaky deaky

I think that's a different guy. (Bad slideshow and hot-linked.) As for him, hmmm......well, as you mentioned, his cute dog figures prominently in the picture. Good. He's waving a sword or something instead of a gun. Good, shows originality. Nice bod. Good. He looks kind of like my old boyfriend in college. If internet dating had existed back then, he could have posted a picture just like that on a dating site and thought it was freaking hilarious. Because he would be looking for a woman just like me, who thinks that his picture is also hilarious. You guys just don't get it.

The kid in the tub is probably scarier, since he's 12 and into things that require rubber gloves.
Thank god I don't date. it's way too complicated.


Pretty sure that's a woman. Note the strategically placed bubbles.
 
2013-11-09 11:53:44 AM

ComaToast: Russian dating site. These were probably all approved by a shirtless Putin after a long day of wrestling forcing bears to be his horse, so that would explain the cultural disconnect.


www.russianlife.com
 
2013-11-09 11:54:22 AM
That first picture needs some eye bleach.

i1.ytimg.com

I never got to the second one.
 
2013-11-09 11:55:03 AM
Holy crap, please tell me #8 is a photoshop!
 
2013-11-09 11:55:05 AM

milkyshirt: Gergesa: That cosplayer was the best of the lot.  Not sure which anime he was referencing.

The guy with his shirt off was arguably the worst.

I think all the guys had their shirts off.


errr should have clarified more.  The shirtless guy who needed to see a dermatologist.
 
2013-11-09 11:56:01 AM
Pro Tip: Use GIS for your dating photos. Thats where those hot girls got theres.
 
2013-11-09 11:56:49 AM
Watermelon girl wasn't that bad, but holy shiat @ the very last one. Number one, his face clearly identifies him as the missing link/date rapist combo pack, and it looks like he has an acne forest all over his upper chest.
 
2013-11-09 12:00:53 PM

Vector R: Watermelon girl wasn't that bad, but holy shiat @ the very last one. Number one, his face clearly identifies him as the missing link/date rapist combo pack, and it looks like he has an acne forest all over his upper chest.


Ha, lmeao
 
2013-11-09 12:04:41 PM
Stupid phone will only let me view the first two. Anyone can deslidify please?
 
2013-11-09 12:05:38 PM

milkyshirt: Pretty sure that's a woman. Note the strategically placed bubbles.


What kind of bullshiat dating site is that, they don't even identify the sex of the people?? I don't know which parts of my body to shave in preparation for a date.
 
2013-11-09 12:06:09 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-09 12:08:19 PM

cryinoutloud: LeroyBourne: You forgot the cute little doggie, see, he's well balanced bad ass and sensitive too. Also, I'll bet any money that's not wine, he looks 12.
/dish gloves also tells me he's freaky deaky

I think that's a different guy. (Bad slideshow and hot-linked.) As for him, hmmm......well, as you mentioned, his cute dog figures prominently in the picture. Good. He's waving a sword or something instead of a gun. Good, shows originality. Nice bod. Good. He looks kind of like my old boyfriend in college. If internet dating had existed back then, he could have posted a picture just like that on a dating site and thought it was freaking hilarious. Because he would be looking for a woman just like me, who thinks that his picture is also hilarious. You guys just don't get it.


So if I make a dating profile I should just drop a yam down my pants?

The kid in the tub is probably scarier, since he's 12 and into things that require rubber gloves.
Thank god I don't date. it's way too complicated.


Whenever I see a guy with dish gloves I think about that quick scene in Fight Club where you can hear Tyler and (whatshername) banging and when he opens the door and asks Ed Norten's character if he wants to finish her off he's wearing dish gloves.  Don't ask why my mind goes there, but it does.
 
2013-11-09 12:09:03 PM
Where is the trusty picture of the "have to be at the gym in 26 minutes" guy?
 
2013-11-09 12:09:23 PM

cryinoutloud: LeroyBourne: You forgot the cute little doggie, see, he's well balanced bad ass and sensitive too. Also, I'll bet any money that's not wine, he looks 12.
/dish gloves also tells me he's freaky deaky

I think that's a different guy. (Bad slideshow and hot-linked.) As for him, hmmm......well, as you mentioned, his cute dog figures prominently in the picture. Good. He's waving a sword or something instead of a gun. Good, shows originality. Nice bod. Good. He looks kind of like my old boyfriend in college. If internet dating had existed back then, he could have posted a picture just like that on a dating site and thought it was freaking hilarious. Because he would be looking for a woman just like me, who thinks that his picture is also hilarious. You guys just don't get it.

The kid in the tub is probably scarier, since he's 12 and into things that require rubber gloves.
Thank god I don't date. it's way too complicated.


Married 23 years.. : "how you doing"
 
2013-11-09 12:10:17 PM

flucto: We did this thread the other day but I can't find it.


RangerTaylor: It's from that Russian dating photo tumblr or whatever that was linked to.  Funny, but repeat.


There are *some* new ones, but mostly, yes, a lot of these are from that imgur thingee we saw a while back.

And I just KNEW Beaver Face was gonna be in the mix...
 
2013-11-09 12:13:08 PM
gun show?
dude with the speedo, guns, and guitars owns that one
 
2013-11-09 12:13:17 PM

99.998er: Where is the trusty picture of the "have to be at the gym in 26 minutes" guy?


Well if you are going to insist on it
cache.gawker.com

clatl.com
 
2013-11-09 12:13:30 PM

cryinoutloud: [assets.nydailynews.com image 610x479]

Hey, I'd date the guy in the bathtub--if he was about 40 years older, that is. A bubble bath, a glass of wine, and rubber gloves? I can't stop laughing at that picture.


I...uh... hmm.  The guy in the tub looks AWFULLY familiar.  I also just showed that pic to the BF, and he thought the same thing.

creeeeeeepyyyyyy
 
2013-11-09 12:15:37 PM

dopekitty74: Stupid phone will only let me view the first two. Anyone can deslidify please?


Deslided (I hope)
 
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