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(KSL Salt Lake City)   An aggressive pet turkey escaped from its pen and terrorized the neighbors. After an hour of being held hostage by this beast, the family called authorities. A deputy showed up and promptly shot it, doing "what he had to do"   (ksl.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, held hostage, pets  
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3438 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2013 at 8:19 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-09 08:24:50 AM  
Too soon.

he should've waited a couple weeks
 
2013-11-09 08:25:34 AM  
I would have used my katana on it and had some turkey dinner.
 
2013-11-09 08:28:25 AM  
dubyaturkeyfellatio.jpg
 
2013-11-09 08:31:09 AM  
I shot the turkey, but I did not shoot the chickadee. ♫
 
2013-11-09 08:33:32 AM  
"They have big beaks and talons," she said

076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2013-11-09 08:34:08 AM  
Unless you have ever faced a pissed off turkey it seems like a trivial concern.  It's not really. They aren't exactly dangerous but they can be evil bastards to deal with. A domesticated tom can easily weight 40 lbs. 40 lbs of pissed off animal is never pleasant to deal with.
 
2013-11-09 08:34:34 AM  
True story. Back in the 70s, my neighbor shot my dog for harassing his chickens. Such is life in the sticks.
 
2013-11-09 08:37:47 AM  
I read that as a "flatulent turkey escaped from its pen...".

My world can be a strange place, but it's a fun one.
 
2013-11-09 08:40:38 AM  
Birds can be mean, nasty bastards that can do some damage. My wife's brother had a rooster that attacked anyone and everyone. When it finally got his wife, he shot it.

So I don't have a problem with the cop's actions in this case.
 
2013-11-09 08:41:08 AM  
As God is my witness, I thought aggressive pet turkeys must die.
 
2013-11-09 08:41:42 AM  
Um. Your dog is a pussy. 3 of my 4 dogs would have had that thing for lunch in no time.

/one of my dogs is a pussy too.
 
2013-11-09 08:44:16 AM  
The officer in question:

i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-09 08:44:34 AM  
Finally, a beneficial use of a cop.

/whar Hero tag?
 
2013-11-09 08:47:46 AM  
Luckily all the fixings are available at the supermarkets in season so it can become a sumptuous turkey. Anybody got a good recipe to share with the family?
 
2013-11-09 08:48:03 AM  
We have flock of wild turkeys in the neghborhood. The are nothing short of little punk velociraptors.
 
2013-11-09 08:50:09 AM  

August11: We have flock of wild turkeys in the neghborhood. The are nothing short of little punk velociraptors.


Ugh. "a flock" and neighborhood. Time for coffee.
 
2013-11-09 08:53:34 AM  
"Sorry to have to do that Ma'am but it's the l-a-a-a-a-w of the West".
 
2013-11-09 08:59:28 AM  

Bowen: True story. Back in the 70s, my neighbor shot my dog for harassing his chickens. Such is life in the sticks.


In about 98 mine shot my dog for simply wandering onto his land. He didn't have anything to terrorize, he was just that uptight about property lines. Still think about taking a drive and beating the shiat out of an old man...
 
2013-11-09 09:04:46 AM  

August11: We have flock of wild turkeys in the neghborhood. The are nothing short of little punk velociraptors.


Be thankful it wasn't a raft of ducks. Ducks are evil
 
2013-11-09 09:05:09 AM  

Mentalpatient87: Bowen: True story. Back in the 70s, my neighbor shot my dog for harassing his chickens. Such is life in the sticks.

In about 98 mine shot my dog for simply wandering onto his land. He didn't have anything to terrorize, he was just that uptight about property lines. Still think about taking a drive and beating the shiat out of an old man...


I'm surprised you didn't. Someone hurting my dog would push me into blind rage.
 
2013-11-09 09:06:52 AM  
Whar gravy? Whar?
 
2013-11-09 09:07:50 AM  
Cops shouldn't have guns anymore
 
2013-11-09 09:09:02 AM  
Why would you want a turkey as a pet? They aren't exactly smart critters.
 
2013-11-09 09:09:07 AM  
Quick quick, get it in the trap I set up!

bmrins.com
 
2013-11-09 09:09:56 AM  

Raider_dad: "Sorry to have to do that Ma'am but it's the l-a-a-a-a-w of the West".


*puts hat over heart, looks solemn*

And like a turkey in the corn he is long gone.
 
2013-11-09 09:11:25 AM  
I came home one morning three months ago to a bunch of them in front of my driveway

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANBjwSnuXCc
 
2013-11-09 09:12:51 AM  

August11: We have flock of wild turkeys in the neghborhood. The are nothing short of little punk velociraptors.


So who's gonna claim the punk band name Punk Velociraptors?

/not into punk
/would buy a poster of said band, however
/slashies come in threes
 
2013-11-09 09:14:36 AM  

abhorrent1: August11: We have flock of wild turkeys in the neghborhood. The are nothing short of little punk velociraptors.

Be thankful it wasn't a raft of ducks. Ducks are evil


Ducks are nothing compared to the Canadian geese we have around here. Nasty critters.

CSB: Several years ago one came after me in my work parking lot. I nudged it out of the way with my foot. Thing was gnawing on my pant leg the whole time. Someone saw it happen and after the story made the rounds few times it turned into me drop kicking a duckling and then stomping it to death. People are dumb.
 
2013-11-09 09:15:05 AM  
So... the cop couldn't find a broom?

I'm not saying I care if a bird gets shot, but really? He HAD to shoot it? or it would have "got him"... that is one complete pussy cop.


A deputy showed up and promptly shot it, doing "what he had to do "  "loves to do"
FIFY
 
2013-11-09 09:15:34 AM  
spforever.uw.hu

The one on the right is the Farker.
 
2013-11-09 09:16:01 AM  

GibbyTheMole: Birds can be mean, nasty bastards that can do some damage. My wife's brother had a rooster that attacked anyone and everyone. When it finally got his wife, he shot it.

So I don't have a problem with the cop's actions in this case.


s9.postimg.org
Recycled from yesterday's turkey thread.
 
2013-11-09 09:17:09 AM  
'Family allegedly called 'turkey killers' after reporting aggressive bird'

Dammit, stupid reporters, why would you say something so stupid? "Alleged" is for things like crimes or other actions that haven't been legally confirmed yet.  That word shouldn't be used here because:

(a) Calling someone a 'turkey killer' isn't a crime.
(b) You're using the passive voice, not identifying anyone, so nobody is being accused of anything.
(c) You're getting this information from the very person who received these text messages, so why don't you DO YOUR JOB and ask to see these messages, thus confirming the allegations?

/hates lazy reporters
 
2013-11-09 09:18:22 AM  
I had some friends who lived on an old farm in the countryside.  They kept domestic geese in the yard that were as loud and aggressive as any watchdogs, when I'd pull up in the drive.  Honking, hissing and nipping.  But just as dogs will do, after the initial "greeting" they'd chill and wander away.
 
2013-11-09 09:22:03 AM  
Pussywillows! I mean, turkey killer!
 
2013-11-09 09:24:00 AM  

Bowen: True story. Back in the 70s, my neighbor shot my dog for harassing his chickens. Such is life in the sticks.


When I was a teenager, my step-dad got a phone call from one of our neighbors. "Gene, your dogs are running deer, and I'm gonna shoot 'em!. My step-dad's response was "Go right ahead! Shoot 'em both!". Meanwhile, our dogs were baking themselves next to the fireplace in the living room.
 
2013-11-09 09:24:39 AM  

Egoy3k: Unless you have ever faced a pissed off turkey it seems like a trivial concern.  It's not really. They aren't exactly dangerous but they can be evil bastards to deal with. A domesticated tom can easily weight 40 lbs. 40 lbs of pissed off animal is never pleasant to deal with.


Exactly right. Tom turkeys are just plain goddamn mean. Stupid too.

I'll tell you how stupid. My old next door neighbor had a Narragansett Tom that he got one year as a chick to raise for thanksgiving dinner. Pure white with a little red around his face and his feet. The kids loved him and petted him and did everything but name him George. Then he turned mean and Stupid as soon as he was about 6 months old. Started attacking the dogs, the horses and the chickens. He killed a few of those. Started attacking the kids who pleaded with their daddy to not kill him for that first year they had him, so Mike let him live an extra year as they couldn't get near him anyway. He got cockier and stupider through that winter.

Stupid as in guarding the end of the driveway and preventing cars from turning into it. Stupid as in attacking anyone who dared to exit their vehicle and enter his little domain. Stupid as being so stupid as to go after Mike the day before that second thanksgiving while he stood there with a freshly sharpened machete in his hand. That bird was so stupid that he walked around the yard for 20 minutes with no head.

I think that bird dressed out to around 35 lbs. That was a good thanksgiving. Even the kids were happy to see him sitting on a plate.
 
2013-11-09 09:29:02 AM  

Deathfrogg:  Started attacking the dogs, the horses and the chickens. He killed a few of those.


wow, I didn't realize they were that dangerous
 
2013-11-09 09:30:45 AM  
Turkeys were recently reintroduced to maine. I had just moved to maine in 2001 from Cleveland, ohio. being a suburban city boy, had no idea how to deal with a gaggle of turkeys crossing my mothers land in gardiner, me. i got close, then one head turned, then more, and more. I heard a bunch of gobbling and was chased about a hundred feet until I got inside, tripping on the stairs as I ran up to the door.

I love Thanksgiving.
 
2013-11-09 09:33:01 AM  

Hilary T. N. Seuss: 'Family allegedly called 'turkey killers' after reporting aggressive bird'

Dammit, stupid reporters, why would you say something so stupid? "Alleged" is for things like crimes or other actions that haven't been legally confirmed yet.  That word shouldn't be used here because:

(a) Calling someone a 'turkey killer' isn't a crime.
(b) You're using the passive voice, not identifying anyone, so nobody is being accused of anything.
(c) You're getting this information from the very person who received these text messages, so why don't you DO YOUR JOB and ask to see these messages, thus confirming the allegations?

/hates lazy reporters


On second thought, I was probably too hard on the reporter.  It's the editor who writes the headlines generally, not the reporter.  The reporter focused on the "meat" of the story -- the police action, but the editor decided to focus on something stupid and tangential -- some social media responses.  My apologize, Mr. Mike Anderson, and please forward all of my scorn to your editor.

/ha! "meat" of the story! cause it's about a turkey!
 
2013-11-09 09:34:02 AM  
Uh, pussy humans? Get a stick. Yell at the animal in a booming deep voice. Walk towards it, with the stick at the ready. Commit. Don't be a pussy. Any domesticated animal will back down.
 
2013-11-09 09:34:50 AM  

bearcats1983: Mentalpatient87: Bowen: True story. Back in the 70s, my neighbor shot my dog for harassing his chickens. Such is life in the sticks.

In about 98 mine shot my dog for simply wandering onto his land. He didn't have anything to terrorize, he was just that uptight about property lines. Still think about taking a drive and beating the shiat out of an old man...

I'm surprised you didn't. Someone hurting my dog would push me into blind rage.


I was just thinking, didn't that guy die about 15 years ago?
 
2013-11-09 09:45:19 AM  

Plant Rights Activist: Deathfrogg:  Started attacking the dogs, the horses and the chickens. He killed a few of those.

wow, I didn't realize they were that dangerous


The chickens, nitwit. He also killed a duck and beat shiat out of the feral tomcat that hung around the neighborhood. He turned on the kids that next spring. They spent most of that season with several large sticks kept close to hand in the barn and the back porch of the house just to keep him at bay while they did the farm work. By the time that next thanksgiving rolled around, everyone in the family hated that bird with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. The day Mike stood his ground I was sitting behind him on the front porch with the .410 loaded with BB shot, just in case. The kids applauded when Mike executed a perfect backhanded sweep with the machete as the bird was going after his face.
That was a good thanksgiving.
 
2013-11-09 09:47:32 AM  
Keep your freaking animals on your own freaking property. PROBLEM SOLVED.

Also, when cooking your turkey, try cooking it upside down so the breast meat stews in it's own juices instead of being dried out by the heat. OMG delicious.
 
2013-11-09 09:49:10 AM  
All you need to settle a turkey right down is a predatory attitude.  You look at that turkey and you think to yourself, "that looks delicious".  Then you approach with murder in your heart.

This works well with everything from cattle to water buffaloes.  They WILL flee.  It's in their DNA.
 
2013-11-09 09:49:48 AM  

abhorrent1: Um. Your dog is a pussy. 3 of my 4 dogs would have had that thing for lunch in no time.

/one of my dogs is a pussy too.


Yeah, if it was my 105lb giant schnauzer I would of came out to find him at the gate with a limp turkey in his mouth.

bearcats1983: Mentalpatient87: Bowen: True story. Back in the 70s, my neighbor shot my dog for harassing his chickens. Such is life in the sticks.

In about 98 mine shot my dog for simply wandering onto his land. He didn't have anything to terrorize, he was just that uptight about property lines. Still think about taking a drive and beating the shiat out of an old man...

I'm surprised you didn't. Someone hurting my dog would push me into blind rage.


I, as well, would lose my shiat. I'd probably either kill him or come damn close; but I'd at least mention Fark when they were arresting me so y'all could read about it.
 
2013-11-09 09:54:03 AM  

Mentalpatient87: Bowen: True story. Back in the 70s, my neighbor shot my dog for harassing his chickens. Such is life in the sticks.

In about 98 mine shot my dog for simply wandering onto his land. He didn't have anything to terrorize, he was just that uptight about property lines. Still think about taking a drive and beating the shiat out of an old man...


I guess you learned that you should have bought a leash.
 
2013-11-09 10:04:08 AM  

Mentalpatient87: Bowen: True story. Back in the 70s, my neighbor shot my dog for harassing his chickens. Such is life in the sticks.

In about 98 mine shot my dog for simply wandering onto his land. He didn't have anything to terrorize, he was just that uptight about property lines. Still think about taking a drive and beating the shiat out of an old man...


Let me guess, it wasn't the first time it's happened.  He was sick of the dogs' shiatty owners.  I probably would have just called someone to take the dog away and not killed it though.  Keep your pets on your own damn property.
 
2013-11-09 10:05:33 AM  

Egoy3k: Unless you have ever faced a pissed off turkey it seems like a trivial concern.  It's not really. They aren't exactly dangerous but they can be evil bastards to deal with. A domesticated tom can easily weight 40 lbs. 40 lbs of pissed off animal is never pleasant to deal with.


THIS. And here's the question. Was it "domestic" or "domesticated"? The article isn't very clear on which it is.

If it was a wild turkey that was "domesticated" and it was P.O.ed, then yeah that could be a serious issue. Even a domestic turkey can cause you to have a bad day if it's in a bad mood.
 
2013-11-09 10:07:19 AM  
www.chicagonow.com
 
2013-11-09 10:11:24 AM  

Plant Rights Activist: Deathfrogg:  Started attacking the dogs, the horses and the chickens. He killed a few of those.

wow, I didn't realize they were that dangerous


General Woundwort says "Toms aren't dangerous!"
 
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