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(The Register)   "But honey, who are you going to believe - me, or this thing on my neck you bought me?"   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 33
    More: Unlikely, Google Patents, sensors, multiple users, Stone Brewing, nanotechnology, neck  
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18773 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2013 at 5:02 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-09 02:20:06 AM
the mark of The Beast!
 
2013-11-09 05:05:19 AM
Is there an addon app to set your pants on fire if you lie?
 
2013-11-09 05:08:04 AM

Smoking GNU: Is there an addon app to set your pants on fire if you lie?


That's a bonus feature you get depending on the battery manufacturer.
 
2013-11-09 05:10:40 AM
For fark's sake, another patent for an IDEA rather than an INVENTION.  This kind of shiat is killing the tech industry.

It's why Apple beat Samsung over the head for making phones with rounded corners.

I shiat you not, Apple sued Samsung for making phones WITH ROUNDED CORNERS.
 
2013-11-09 05:10:58 AM
deepbluebox2011.files.wordpress.com

New from Cybus Industries...
 
2013-11-09 05:16:47 AM

Smoking GNU: Is there an addon app to set your pants on fire if you lie?


Section 47.1.ee

The galvanic response may also be useful when externally linked via proprietary wireless connectivity (see section 48.2.a) to a discrete transceiver card (see section 49.b.ii) which could be placed in an individual's wallet or sewn into the pocket of garments (trousers). In the event the galvanic response detected indicates a statistically-likely stressed and/or deceitful condition, based on pre-configured thresholds, the device may be configured to signal (via the wireless link) the linked peripheral transceiver card to self-ignite, and by proximity, ignite the garments (trousers) of the individual.
 
2013-11-09 05:17:26 AM

Rhino_man: For fark's sake, another patent for an IDEA rather than an INVENTION.  This kind of shiat is killing the tech industry.

It's why Apple beat Samsung over the head for making phones with rounded corners.

I shiat you not, Apple sued Samsung for making phones WITH ROUNDED CORNERS.


And lost, AFAIK.
 
2013-11-09 05:20:28 AM
Sign me up,  Lie detectors don't measure truth, they measure physiological change.  You can teach your body to spoof it in about a half an hour.
 
2013-11-09 05:25:04 AM
What happened to "do no evil"?
 
2013-11-09 05:31:35 AM
decath10n.files.wordpress.com

"It wasn't me, it was the boil."
 
2013-11-09 05:32:45 AM
I'm having one of these put on my penis.
 
2013-11-09 05:36:46 AM
I worked with a German woman who would regularly screw this up, much to my delight:

LIAR, LIAR: PIGS ON FIRE!!!!
 
2013-11-09 05:47:34 AM
I can see it now: Neck tattoos that say Ashlee, Mindie, or Playa Hata, but every time you say another female name it shocks you and sends an mp3 file named "Cheatingbastard_06.mp3" to whoever programmed it. "Hi, welcome to McDonald's! Glad you're back, should I put Diane on your ordaAaaaAAAAAH(Boost Mobile phone call 30 seconds later: "YOU farkING BASTARD, I'M GONNA GANGBANG ALL YOUR FRIENDS!")

/My typical response/reaction to neck tattoos.
//YMMV
///But not by much.
 
2013-11-09 05:49:57 AM

Smoking GNU: Rhino_man: For fark's sake, another patent for an IDEA rather than an INVENTION.  This kind of shiat is killing the tech industry.

It's why Apple beat Samsung over the head for making phones with rounded corners.

I shiat you not, Apple sued Samsung for making phones WITH ROUNDED CORNERS.

And lost, AFAIK.


From  Wikipedia:
The jury found Samsung infringed Apple's patents on iPhone's "Bounce-Back Effect" (US Patent No.7,469,381), "On-screen Navigation (US Patent No.7,844,915), and "Tap To Zoom" (US Patent No.7,864,163), and design patents that covers iPhone's features such as the "home button, rounded corners and tapered edges" (US D593087) and "On-Screen Icons" (US D604305).  Design Patent 504,889 (describing the ornamental design of the iPad) was one of the few patents the jury concluded Samsung had not infringed.

It's Wikipedia, so I wouldn't cite it in a research paper... but it's good enough for internet argument in my book.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Inc._v._Samsung_Electronics_Co., _Lt d.#US_verdict
 
2013-11-09 06:23:52 AM
Unfortunately, life has taught me to adopt the House MD school of thought:

Everybody lies about everything all the time.
 
2013-11-09 06:57:53 AM

scalpod: [decath10n.files.wordpress.com image 450x250]

"It wasn't me, it was the boil."


Dammit. Oh well, it's in my clipboard.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-09 07:04:11 AM
Oh FFS. There are still people who think that "lie detectors" really detect lies? What happened, run out of "truth syrum"?
 
2013-11-09 08:18:52 AM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-11-09 08:44:02 AM

Son of Thunder: Oh FFS. There are still people who think that "lie detectors" really detect lies? What happened, run out of "truth syrum"?


THIS.


Rhino_man: For fark's sake, another patent for an IDEA rather than an INVENTION.  This kind of shiat is killing the tech industry.


I knew you could do that in Japan, but I didn't think it was possible in the US.
 
2013-11-09 09:25:16 AM
This is nonsense.

Everybody knows Levitation is better than Arrogant Bastard.
 
2013-11-09 09:28:17 AM

Rhino_man: For fark's sake, another patent for an IDEA rather than an INVENTION.  This kind of shiat is killing the tech industry.

It's why Apple beat Samsung over the head for making phones with rounded corners.

I shiat you not, Apple sued Samsung for making phones WITH ROUNDED CORNERS.


I thought up being invisible when I was a little kid. Surely I'm the first.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-11-09 09:50:34 AM
The filing also describes the electronic skin tattoo as having a display and a user interface. Needless to say, such a display and UI wouldn't be of much use unless one had a mirror handy to view it. Perhaps the UI text could be displayed in reverse.

Reminds me of the puzzles with the philosophers and the hats with colored dots on them that only others can see. If the numbers of green dots and red dots are relatively prime and any philosopher with a green dot always lies when queried by a philosopher with a red dot, how many relatives are going to give me books full of these puzzles because I'm smart and smart kids must love these puzzles?
 
2013-11-09 09:59:54 AM

Bucky Katt: the mark of The Beast!


way south: What happened to "do no evil"?


lh4.googleusercontent.com

The Instrument of Obedience will see to that.
 
2013-11-09 10:21:34 AM
but if you are truthful and honest all the time, you have nothing to worry about, right?

"Mommy, is Santa Claus real?"

"Of course he is....***zzztttpppp***  awwwffffuuukkinngssonavabiatch.  Don't ever ask me that again."
 
2013-11-09 10:37:22 AM
"I'm sorry, Professor Umbrige. I must not tell lies."
 
2013-11-09 10:59:25 AM

Son of Thunder: Oh FFS. There are still people who think that "lie detectors" really detect lies? What happened, run out of "truth syrum"?


(That burst of intellectual outrage might have been more impressive if I'd spelled "serum" correctly. What I really need is a "stupid detector" implant. I think my life would go a lot better if I had something attached to my neck that would monitor my behavior and go "[beep] You are about to do something stupid.")
 
2013-11-09 11:21:45 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-09 11:50:58 AM
Looks like the future is going to make you pray for cancer.
 
2013-11-09 12:31:55 PM
Let's not forget that tech companies have huge incentives to patent every crazy idea they come up with even if they don't plan on implementing it ever. I hate these "omg some company is patenting some scary shiat the sky is falling" stories.
 
2013-11-09 02:38:15 PM

Rhino_man: For fark's sake, another patent for an IDEA rather than an INVENTION.  This kind of shiat is killing the tech industry.

It's why Apple beat Samsung over the head for making phones with rounded corners.

I shiat you not, Apple sued Samsung for making phones WITH ROUNDED CORNERS.


It is bullshiat like this that annoys me.

We are 20-30 years from the technology, but the patent trolls are trying to stifle anyone else from doing it.
 
2013-11-10 03:32:42 AM
I'm not usually into this particular branch of conspiracy theory but... does it spook anyone else that they had an alternate version in the filing that used a collar? Fifteen years until we're living in "The Running Man" I guess.
 
2013-11-10 04:06:31 AM
If I patent the idea of time travel will I immediately begin to receive royalty cheques sent from the future?
 
2013-11-10 08:54:29 AM
In the future, everyone will be a very good liar.
 
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