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(Your 16th Cousin)   Everyone is your cousin. Imagine the socioeconomic and behavioral implications when mankind realizes we're all connected by a common bond no matter what the... nawwwww screw that. Here's a joke about this being great news for Alabama   (ideas.4brad.com) divider line 43
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5113 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Nov 2013 at 4:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-08 04:50:35 PM  
No man is an island... More like Inbred Peninsula.
 
2013-11-08 04:50:47 PM  
Yay! Time for guilt free hook-ups at family reunions!
 
2013-11-08 04:53:44 PM  

miss diminutive: Yay! Time for guilt free hook-ups at family reunions!


Weren't you doing that amyway?
 
2013-11-08 04:54:15 PM  
Shiat, more people that I barely know to get birthday cards for.
 
2013-11-08 04:56:21 PM  
I was told there would be no math
 
2013-11-08 04:57:06 PM  
I'm a fat, broke and bitter forever alone, so the joke's on you. HA!


/time to drink.
 
2013-11-08 04:57:24 PM  
Then my boss is the worst relative I've ever met.
 
2013-11-08 05:00:31 PM  

miss diminutive: Yay! Time for guilt free hook-ups at family reunions!


How yOu doing cuzzo
 
2013-11-08 05:02:15 PM  
Everyone is your cousin. Imagine ....being related to those people on your Fark.com troll list.

Yes you can ignore cousins as easily as you can ignore anyone else.
 
2013-11-08 05:12:06 PM  

iheartscotch: miss diminutive: Yay! Time for guilt free hook-ups at family reunions!

Weren't you doing that amyway?


I dunno, how does Amy do it?
 
2013-11-08 05:15:37 PM  

ghettodwarf: iheartscotch: miss diminutive: Yay! Time for guilt free hook-ups at family reunions!

Weren't you doing that amyway?

I dunno, how does Amy do it?


Damned autocorrect!

Imagine catching a date at night, with your feet, based on the sounds it makes; because that's how Amy do
 
2013-11-08 05:40:35 PM  
Is it because of Adam and Eve?

/ DRTFA
 
2013-11-08 05:51:17 PM  
I read some years ago that we are all EIGHTH cousins to each other.

What happened? Is this the new math?

/Older than you.
 
2013-11-08 05:59:17 PM  
blogs.mirror.co.uk

Tribe was unknown to the outside world from its founding about 28,000 years ago (based on Y chromosome diversity) until 1961, when they were discovered by South African silver prospectors.

Sooooooo....no.
 
2013-11-08 06:10:47 PM  
From the comments section:
Submitted by Brad
The main point is that if you come from populations that did intermingle, you don't have to go very far to get to a point where it gets extremely unlikely that your set of ancestors doesn't overlap with all the other such people.

Oh, so we're all related to the degree of 16th cousins or less, except when we aren't. Thanks for that useful information, Brad.
 
2013-11-08 06:23:54 PM  
So what if we're related to everybody? Hating relatives is just as easy as hating complete strangers. Easier, if they come to dinner.
 
2013-11-08 06:31:16 PM  
Who's laughing now? Hmmmmm?
 
2013-11-08 06:33:41 PM  

ghettodwarf: iheartscotch: miss diminutive: Yay! Time for guilt free hook-ups at family reunions!

Weren't you doing that amyway?

I dunno, how does Amy do it?


Duh, with precision!
 
2013-11-08 06:38:11 PM  
So where does that place us in line to the thrones of the UK, Sweden, Netherlands, Germany, Czar of Russia etc. etc?

images.cinemaring.com
 
2013-11-08 06:49:17 PM  

hasty ambush: I was told there would be no math

i see i am too late...

 
2013-11-08 06:49:53 PM  

SevenizGud: From the comments section:
Submitted by Brad
The main point is that if you come from populations that did intermingle, you don't have to go very far to get to a point where it gets extremely unlikely that your set of ancestors doesn't overlap with all the other such people.

Oh, so we're all related to the degree of 16th cousins or less, except when we aren't. Thanks for that useful information, Brad.


Hey, don't talk about my cousin like that!
 
2013-11-08 06:55:36 PM  
Enemies are just family you don't have to invite to your iftar party.
 
2013-11-08 07:09:29 PM  

SevenizGud: From the comments section:
Submitted by Brad
The main point is that if you come from populations that did intermingle, you don't have to go very far to get to a point where it gets extremely unlikely that your set of ancestors doesn't overlap with all the other such people.

Oh, so we're all related to the degree of 16th cousins or less, except when we aren't. Thanks for that useful information, Brad.


Since my dad was adopted, I'm actually kind of curious to find out if we have relatives on his side. However, since I don't want people trying to hit me up for money, I'm not THAT curious.
 
2013-11-08 07:09:46 PM  

jjorsett: So what if we're related to everybody? Hating relatives is just as easy as hating complete strangers. Easier, if they come to dinner.


Indeed. Why would being related to someone keep you from hating them?
 
2013-11-08 07:15:07 PM  

ladyfortuna: Since my dad was adopted, I'm actually kind of curious to find out if we have relatives on his side. However, since I don't want people trying to hit me up for money, I'm not THAT curious.


Get an autosomal DNA test from FTDNA under an assumed name with a throw-away email address. It's $99.
 
2013-11-08 07:30:34 PM  
It does not take a village.  Man is not a hive mind.  You can divide a sandwich among many men, but you cannot digest it in a collective stomach.
 
2013-11-08 08:37:21 PM  
Everyone is your cousin

Yeah, I lived in a town like that. The gene pool was more like a small muddy puddle.
 
2013-11-08 08:39:02 PM  
I have two half brothers that are also my second/third? cousins! When my parents divorced my father married my mothers cousin!  And no, I didn't grow up in Kentucky.
 
2013-11-08 08:39:20 PM  
Thanks for that Headline.....I farking laughed!!!

/Implications
 
2013-11-08 09:08:36 PM  
There are only 13 kinds of women and all of them either want cheesecake or pickles when they're pregnant.
 
2013-11-08 09:09:46 PM  
Shur thing, cuz.
 
2013-11-08 09:45:12 PM  

prjindigo: There are only 13 kinds of women and all of them either want cheesecake or pickles when they're pregnant.


The 14th kind doesn't want children.

/got neutered for medical reasons
//not upset about it
 
2013-11-08 10:03:09 PM  

bratface: I have two half brothers that are also my second/third? cousins! When my parents divorced my father married my mothers cousin!  And no, I didn't grow up in Kentucky.


Well, no. I mean, you can hardly call that growing. With genes like these, you'd be lucky to pass five feet in height.
 
2013-11-08 10:22:40 PM  

miss diminutive: Yay! Time for guilt free hook-ups at family reunions!


You can always hook up with me.
 
2013-11-08 11:02:15 PM  

bill4935: bratface: I have two half brothers that are also my second/third? cousins! When my parents divorced my father married my mothers cousin!  And no, I didn't grow up in Kentucky.

Well, no. I mean, you can hardly call that growing. With genes like these, you'd be lucky to pass five feet in height.


????????????????????
 
2013-11-08 11:23:12 PM  
I can't even go to the grocery store without bumping into one or two shirt-tail relations

/small town
//never farked my cousin
 
2013-11-08 11:49:16 PM  
Shelbyville Manhattan nods in approval
 
2013-11-09 01:16:42 AM  
You like Avatar, right?
img.fark.net
 
2013-11-09 04:16:58 AM  
I read the article, it made my head hurt.  Goodnight.
 
2013-11-09 08:18:26 AM  

jjohnny65: I read the article, it made my head hurt.  Goodnight.


Meanwhile in Iceland

In Iceland, an App to Warn If Your Hookup Is a Relative


If you meet someone in a bar and hook up for the night, there are some risks involved. We think you know what they are.

If you live in Iceland, though, there's yet another risk: The object of your desire could be a very close relative. Iceland has only 320,000 inhabitants, and virtually all of them trace their ancestry to the island's 9th century settlers.

How, then, to determine whether you may be skating close to incest with that attractive stranger? There's now an app for that.
 
2013-11-09 08:21:27 AM  

SevenizGud: [blogs.mirror.co.uk image 360x255]

Tribe was unknown to the outside world from its founding about 28,000 years ago (based on Y chromosome diversity) until 1961, when they were discovered by South African silver prospectors.

Sooooooo....no.


Huh? GIS suggests that that is someone from Papua New Guinea. I mean, of course it's possible that South African silver prospectors were there in 1961... but were they?

Also, current thought seems to be that we all descended from a common ancestor only 140,000-290,000 years ago.

We're a young and not very diverse species.
 
2013-11-09 10:33:50 AM  
Well, most of my ancestral stock supposedly emigrated from southern Germany back in the 1800s, so I assume that I am cousins to some degree with the entire population of Bavaria and the Rhineland.  That said, I seriously doubt if I have any Japanese cousins unless you want to trace back to the caveman days.
 
2013-11-09 04:12:13 PM  

Mouser: Well, most of my ancestral stock supposedly emigrated from southern Germany back in the 1800s, so I assume that I am cousins to some degree with the entire population of Bavaria and the Rhineland.  That said, I seriously doubt if I have any Japanese cousins unless you want to trace back to the caveman days.


We're probably distantly related then... I know mom's side goes back to the 1600s at least, I think in that area. I'd have to go check the ancestry.com thing to make sure though.
 
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