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(The Raw Story)   "I'd give my left nut to join that fraternity." Welcome to college, son, have we got a deal for you   (rawstory.com) divider line 61
    More: Sick, Ohio, WKRC-TV, colleges  
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8282 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Nov 2013 at 11:25 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-08 10:11:31 AM
Why are fraternities so farking gay? That's why I always crashed frat parties. They had the hottest girls but the dudes were always too busy slapping each other and doing things with their asses and cherries to be any competition.
 
2013-11-08 10:37:57 AM
Darn, I so wish I had joined a frat in college. The fun I missed, rubbing Ben Gay on another dude's balls.

/I keep Icy Hot around all the time now, but I never have Ben Gay.
 
2013-11-08 11:28:13 AM
The Smoking gun reported that an affadavit by local police stated that Lawrence and two other pledges were asked to remove their clothes while blindfolded, then had a substance resembling "Icy Hot" pain balm rubbed on their groin, buttocks, back and nipples.

... go on...
 
2013-11-08 11:28:25 AM
No homo? No teste.
 
2013-11-08 11:28:44 AM
Hmm, I always assumed frat kids never had them in the first place.
 
2013-11-08 11:28:55 AM
From what I remember about frats, they were basically gay pr0n studios without the cameras.

/and sometimes with the cameras
//actually witnessed teabagging that was "totally no homo" according to the practitioners
 
2013-11-08 11:30:36 AM
If this became habitual, in a few generations the scourge of fraternities would be lifted from our fair land!
 
2013-11-08 11:30:47 AM

Mugato: Why are fraternities so farking gay? That's why I always crashed frat parties. They had the hottest girls but the dudes were always too busy slapping each other and doing things with their asses and cherries to be any competition.


This is what I was going to say.

/Fraternities with benefits?
 
2013-11-08 11:33:16 AM
i feel like these fraternal hazings are a real failure of masculinity.  i understand the desire to mimic a military order, to cut someone down in order to build them up... but, that's to prepare someone for war, and they don't do this ridiculous crap.  they just make you suffer hardship through exercise, drill, and demoralization, but not for sadistic purposes, more as a physical and psychological stress test.  maybe the force you into a room with tear gas, but they don't smash your balls in (and, also, because there's a chance you might be tear gassed when people are shooting at you, it makes some pragmatic sense)

these fraternal hazings seem to be exclusively about sadism.  farking sickos.
 
2013-11-08 11:34:57 AM
This is why I never joined a fraternity in college. I could never get past the idea of allowing other guys to order me to do humiliating things, just so later on we could all be "friends". It just doesn't compute for me. It never has.
 
2013-11-08 11:35:26 AM
I am glad I went to a school where the fraternities held zero sway and were considered things people joined when they couldn't make friends on their own.
Seriously...I have yet to hear one story from someone in a fraternity that ever made it sound like an appealing thing to be a part of.
Don't get me wrong, I have friends who were in them at schools where fraternities were very popular; and they are very positive in how they speak of their experiences in them; but when they actually get around to describing the goings on and telling stories about what crazy antics their "brothers" were up to, it all just sounds incredibly douchey.  Every story sounds like a bunch of closeted homophobes doing bad imitations of the Alpha Betas from Revenge of the Nerds.
 
2013-11-08 11:37:32 AM
I'm sure this incident will only increase the number of pledges just drooling to jump on the icybalmgroinrubbingtowelsnappingtesticledisappearingfratboi night train!
 
2013-11-08 11:38:19 AM

ChewbaccaJones: Every story sounds like a bunch of closeted homophobes doing bad imitations of the Alpha Betas from Revenge of the Nerds.


They're frequently very open homophobes. They're closeted homosexuals.
 
2013-11-08 11:38:26 AM
this shiat is bananas... b - a - n - a - n - a - s.
 
2013-11-08 11:38:48 AM

Snarfangel: If this became habitual, in a few generations the scourge of fraternities would be lifted from our fair land!


I like the cut of your jib.
 
2013-11-08 11:38:53 AM
So is he an honorary member for life?
In all seriousness, though... If you partake in a stupid initiation ritual that involves you losing a testicle, perhaps its a good thing you lost that testicle.
 
2013-11-08 11:39:28 AM
What kind of farking twisted. . what did I just read?
I don't even. ..
 
2013-11-08 11:41:15 AM
Did somebody already mentioned the top shelve pussy?

Is that still a term?
 
2013-11-08 11:41:44 AM
then had a substance resembling "Icy Hot" pain balm rubbed on their groin, buttocks, back and nipples.

And how isn't this gay?

This was about a half gallon of whiskey away from being a gang bang staring an all male cast.
 
2013-11-08 11:43:46 AM
My frat was one of the original 3. We invented initiations but never did any physical hazing. Mind games, yes. Testicle loss, no.
 
2013-11-08 11:44:32 AM
No guys!  Frats aren't gay bro, that's a stupid stereotype. 

pute kisses like a man: i feel like these fraternal hazings are a real failure of masculinity.  i understand the desire to mimic a military order, to cut someone down in order to build them up... but, that's to prepare someone for war, and they don't do this ridiculous crap.  they just make you suffer hardship through exercise, drill, and demoralization, but not for sadistic purposes, more as a physical and psychological stress test.  maybe the force you into a room with tear gas, but they don't smash your balls in (and, also, because there's a chance you might be tear gassed when people are shooting at you, it makes some pragmatic sense)

these fraternal hazings seem to be exclusively about sadism.  farking sickos.


Well to be fair they do prepare these guys for a lifetime of armchair politicking by saying things like "lol, we tortured people in Iraq? That's less than a fraternity hazing!"
 
2013-11-08 11:44:50 AM
WKRC reported that Lawrence defended Gamma Phi Gamma in an off-camera interview days after the ceremony, saying the injuries he sustained were accidental.

Jeez, what an idiot. Reminds me of this guy:

galforallseasons.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-08 11:45:44 AM
This happened at a Quaker college.

I guess these guys skipped the whole pacifism/be kind to your fellow man thing during freshman orientation?
 
2013-11-08 11:50:54 AM
This has to do with sororities not fraternities, but when I was in college, there was a Delta Zeta chapter on campus.  Everyone called them the "Easy DZ's" because it was common knowledge that all the sluts at school would join them at the beginning of the semester.  Incidentally, their mascot is a turtle, which makes sense because once you got these gals on their backs, they'd have a hard time getting back up again.  Anyway, during Pledge Week or whatever the fark it was called, Delta Zeta was paired up with a fraternity on campus, and in order to join, you had to blow at least 10 of the frat brothers in an hour.  Once the dean of students found out about this, everyone involved from both organizations got kicked out of school.  Last I heard the chapters are still up and running, but not after having been suspended from campus for a few years.
 
2013-11-08 11:51:19 AM

Theaetetus: mosex


Good point.  I should change that to openly-homophobic, self-loathing closeted-homosexuals.
 
2013-11-08 12:00:00 PM
When I said "Can you scratch the left one?" I did not mean REMOVE IT, DAMMIT!

i1180.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-08 12:05:50 PM

Gomamon: So is he an honorary member for life?
In all seriousness, though... If you partake in a stupid initiation ritual that involves you losing a testicle, perhaps its a good thing you lost that testicle.


That's what I always want to ask whenever I hear about someone permanently injured in a hazing ritual: did he at least win what he was playing for?

I mean, that's a line of questioning that I'd love to pose. Is the injured party now a member of the fraternity? Did any other members of the fraternity have to lose a testicle to be members? Okay, so what you're saying is that this person has sacrificed more for this fraternity than any other? Shouldn't that at least earn him membership, if not some kind of exalted position? Would YOU be willing to cut off a testicle for the fraternity? If not, why did you make this young man do so? How about a finger? Given that the victim actually defended the fraternity that caused him a permanent injury, do you feel that the fraternity now owes him? I mean, come on, he must get SOMETHING in exchange for all this. If it's just "sorry about your ball" and the nickname "Left-nut" for the rest of his life, he got ripped off, wouldn't you say?

Also, are you all completely gay and this is how you express it, rather than finding a more productive channel for your repressed emotions? I mean, I'm gay as a picnic basket; I don't go around confiscating testicles...
 
2013-11-08 12:06:24 PM

Sofa King Smart: this shiat is bananas... b - a - n - a - n - a - s.


I guess my comment only makes sense if you read the TSG article...

As detailed by investigators, the blindfolded pledges were brought to the basement of the fraternity (which is known as "Gobbler House"), where about 20 frat members "were either watching or participating in the pledging."
The basement of the house contained about three inches of water and the pledges were ordered to "lie on the floor and imitate a swimming action." They were then directed to "strip completely nude except for the blindfold" and had "a substance described as being like 'Icy Hot' applied to their nipples, back, buttocks and scrotum."
After having limburger cheese stuffed in their mouths, the pledges were each given a "ball of stuffing" and ordered to "simulate having sexual intercourse with it." Specifically, the trio was told to "fark the sheep."

The pledges were then hit with "towels and shirts that had the ends balled up in knots" or which had "items tied inside them to inflict pain"  Pledge Tyler Lawrence, 19, was struck in the testicles with "a towel fashioned as a weapon," according to an affidavit sworn by Wilmington Police Department Detective Brian Kratzer.
Lawrence "went to the ground immediately in pain and was clutching himself in the groin." Frat members eventually got Lawrence to his feet so they could conclude the hazing by stuffing vinegar-soaked bananas into the mouths of the three men (who were told the item was "poop or shiat").
 
2013-11-08 12:11:34 PM
First the Australian Navy story, now this. Is it Homoerotic Hazing Friday?
 
2013-11-08 12:12:32 PM

The Irresponsible Captain: First the Australian Navy story, now this. Is it Homoerotic Hazing Friday?


Yes, though I'm still not sure why we limit it to one day per week.
 
2013-11-08 12:18:01 PM

show me: Darn, I so wish I had joined a frat in college. The fun I missed, rubbing Ben Gay on another dude's balls.

/I keep Icy Hot around all the time now, but I never have Ben Gay.


There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
 
2013-11-08 12:20:52 PM
I did college wrong. When I got to college, I came out, joined the LBG group, and didn't lose my virginity until my junior year.

I should have stayed in the closet and joined a frat instead and gotten laid.
 
2013-11-08 12:36:51 PM
I never did understand why people actually put up with this shiat.
 
2013-11-08 12:46:17 PM
The system is different at every school, and I know that they aren't all bad.

That said, I went to a large state school and you couldn't have paid me to join up with that clan of idiots.
 
2013-11-08 12:56:37 PM
I think it's a mistake to assume that these people are "closeted." I'm not aware that most homosexual men want to have their goodies abused by other men to the extent that it results in loss of testes.

I'd say that these people are mostly sadists and I feel badly for their future wives, children or any prostitutes they may come in contact with.
 
2013-11-08 01:10:47 PM

Cybernetic: This is why I never joined a fraternity in college. I could never get past the idea of allowing other guys to order me to do humiliating things, just so later on we could all be "friends". It just doesn't compute for me. It never has.


'Let me smash your balls with this hammer and then we can get beer and be BFFs!'
 
2013-11-08 01:23:53 PM
Nice to see those anti hazing rules are working.
 
2013-11-08 01:24:33 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I feel badly for their future wives, children or any prostitutes they may come in contact with


What about pets?
 
2013-11-08 01:32:26 PM
Why does everything in frats have to do with cocks?
 
2013-11-08 01:33:41 PM
All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.
 
2013-11-08 01:34:42 PM

beerrun: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


You forgot WARRIORS CODE.
 
2013-11-08 01:38:24 PM
He'll be a great cyclist some day.
 
2013-11-08 01:42:43 PM

beerrun: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


Every frat guy I've ever met was a top-shelf douche-bag. It's all bro this and bro that and a lot of high-fiving.  Then back to the house for some gay sex.

/nttawwt
 
2013-11-08 01:43:19 PM

vudukungfu: Smelly Pirate Hooker: I feel badly for their future wives, children or any prostitutes they may come in contact with

What about pets?


Them too, especially.  This sure is a farked up world, huh?
 
2013-11-08 01:48:18 PM

beerrun: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


Some douche always posts this exact troll comment in every frat thread I've ever read.  I'm gonna fix it:

 All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced frat boys in the frat house, geeks get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in them will last you a lifetime.
 
2013-11-08 01:49:35 PM

Theaetetus: The Smoking gun reported that an affadavit by local police stated that Lawrence and two other pledges were asked to remove their clothes while blindfolded, then had a substance resembling "Icy Hot" pain balm rubbed on their groin, buttocks, back and nipples.

... go on...


So those videos that I jerk off to are real?
 
2013-11-08 01:58:52 PM

Cold_Sassy: Some douche always posts this exact troll comment in every frat thread I've ever read.


mlpchan.net
 
2013-11-08 02:26:58 PM

beerrun: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy homoerotic torture ceremonies than you could shake your stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


FTFY
 
2013-11-08 02:52:09 PM
He's half the man he used to be...
 
2013-11-08 02:58:02 PM
Authorities in Wilmington, Ohio are investigating a fraternity initiation that resulted in a 19-year-old man losing a testicle.

Wait a minute! According to all the articles coming out of Ames, IA, a 19yo is a child. I'm confused.

Coco LaFemme: This has to do with sororities not fraternities, but when I was in college, there was a Delta Zeta chapter on campus.  Everyone called them the "Easy DZ's" because it was common knowledge that all the sluts at school would join them at the beginning of the semester.  Incidentally, their mascot is a turtle, which makes sense because once you got these gals on their backs, they'd have a hard time getting back up again.  Anyway, during Pledge Week or whatever the fark it was called, Delta Zeta was paired up with a fraternity on campus, and in order to join, you had to blow at least 10 of the frat brothers in an hour.  Once the dean of students found out about this, everyone involved from both organizations got kicked out of school.  Last I heard the chapters are still up and running, but not after having been suspended from campus for a few years.


I dated a DZ. Neither of us were in school at the time, we just happened to be from the same town, in the same situation, at the same time. So we hooked up for a few years. Some of the best sex I ever had. Redhead, too.

Sadly, she has now gone full off of the derp end into being a hippie. Bullet, dodged.
 
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