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(Time)   Ten movie sequels that thankfully never happened. Could you imagine the awfulness that would have been a Speed Racer 2?   (entertainment.time.com) divider line 40
    More: Spiffy, Lemony Snicket, Emily Browning, sequels, Philip Pullman, ranges, Orson Scott Card, Russell Crowe, Jim Carrey  
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9574 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Nov 2013 at 11:43 AM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-11-07 11:55:38 AM
4 votes:
Master & Commander is a pretty good movie. I would've liked a sequel.
2013-11-07 11:58:35 AM
3 votes:

exparrot: Yes. How horrible would that be.
A colorful fun movie for children that had incredible visuals and a self-deprecating sense of humor.


And Christina Ricci as Trixie...   mmmmmmmmm....

1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-11-07 11:51:08 AM
3 votes:
Lemon Snicket failed because this world is unworthy of Emily Browning.

i.imgur.com


i.imgur.com

2013-11-07 01:48:02 PM
2 votes:
www.internationalhero.co.uk
2013-11-07 01:45:30 PM
2 votes:

Fano: Big Trouble in Little China was pretty awesome.


That could have used some sequels. Not the China theme again but Jack Burton getting into other adventures like Indiana Jones.
2013-11-07 01:42:27 PM
2 votes:

DjangoStonereaver: whereas
the baby GINOs were basically the raptors from JURASSIC PARK with slightly updated rendering software.


You know that almost all of the scenes in Jurassic Park featuring the raptors, they were puppets, right?

Also, how many different ways can you portray a bipedal dinosaur-like creature that size?  Precisely *ONE*.   The reason why they look like raptors, is because that's the only effective way to make them bipedal, fast, and, well,  not stupid looking at that size. Theropods shared a pretty consistent body plan, and it's a good one.

Remember that Gojira was designed back in they day when we thought bipedal dinosaurs walked upright, and Gojira is a dinosaur of some kind.  If you look at the posture of the original Gojira against the more recent versions, the back has gone from being largely vertical:

i40.tinypic.com

To being closer to horizontal, at about a 45 degree angle:

i44.tinypic.com

And of course, we have Zilla, who has a very theropod-like body plan and a correct horizontal posture:

images2.wikia.nocookie.net

You can get away with a somewhat different body plan at the huge size, but if you go with it at the size of the baby Zillas, it looks tremendously stupid:

static1.wikia.nocookie.net

Aside from the silliness of the picture, I wouldn't feel that threatened if I saw something like that coming down the street at me, because it's obvious that I could out-run it.

My biggest beef with Zilla wasn't the locomotion or body plan, it was the head.

We associate significance to faces.  That should have remained more "Gojira-like".  I don't care for the stupid huge lower-jaw look.

When all is said and done, though, the 1998 version was *BETTER* than most of the Japanese films.  And I say this as someone who has been a kaiju fan since I was a young kid (watching Ultraman, the Godzilla films, Johnny Sokko, Gamera, etc.).

It has a much better plot than most of the Japanese films, and a better origin story than all of them.  The science is better than all of the Japanese films, including the original.  Godzilla is treated as an animal with needs and feelings, not as some malevolent or benevolent supernatural (and mostly unkillable) force.

I think it actually suffers because of the name.  Calling it "Godzilla" instead "The Monster that ate New York" or something like that invariably invokes feelings for both fans and detractors of Godzilla.  Godzilla fans don't like it because the monster was too different from what they were used to seeing.  People who don't like Godzilla wouldn't see because they don't like Godzilla.

Had the film and monster been called something else, I'm betting it would have done a bit better.


/Say "Hi" to Jack's beer for me.
2013-11-07 12:23:12 PM
2 votes:
A list of box office flops... why would they deserve sequels? I think most, if not ALL of those films suffered from bad marketing.
2013-11-07 12:17:24 PM
2 votes:
Master and Commander was an amazing movie. I wish more like it were made.
2013-11-07 12:15:46 PM
2 votes:
bungle_jr:
but at any rate, it at least broke even, according to this stat.

You're forgetting "Hollywood Accounting 101."

Any movie that loses money is a disaster.

Any movie that breaks even is a huge money loser.

Any money that seems to show a profit is also actually a big money loser, and you'll probably never see a dime from it, even if the studio has to invent expenses to make that happen.

New Line swore up and down that the Lord of the Rings lost money. Really.

Warner Brothers said Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - a movie that grossed $600 million - lost $167 million.

The king of this might be "Return of the Jedi." It cost $32 million to make in 1983. It grossed $475 million. It still hasn't shown a profit.
2013-11-07 11:59:35 AM
2 votes:
Speed Racer was no masterpiece but it was exactly what a Speed Racer movie should have been.  I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and in fact, I am going to go buy it today.  Thanks subby.
2013-11-07 11:58:46 AM
2 votes:
OK, now, this is odd:
Cowboys and Aliens (2011)
Harrison Ford as the iron-fisted Colonel Dolarhyde and Daniel Craig as a stranger with no memory of his past in Cowboys & Aliens.
Timothy White / Universal Studios and DreamWorks II
Source: Scott Mitchell Rosenberg's graphic novel

Budget: $163 million
Domestic Gross: $100 million

Post-Mortem: The title seemed like a no-brainer, and yet the movie failed to deliver even on the fun promised by those three words. Even with $75 million in overseas grosses, the movie failed to recoup its costs.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if the film cost $163 million, made $100 million domestically, and an additional $75 million overseas, then it made $175 million total, which, last time I checked, was more than $163 million.

I actually liked the film, btw, but it's not really sequel material anyway.  There really wasn't anywhere to go with it, except having more alienses invade the West.
2013-11-07 11:45:42 AM
2 votes:
Yes. How horrible would that be.
A colorful fun movie for children that had incredible visuals and a self-deprecating sense of humor.

/Saw part VII please.
2013-11-07 11:45:07 AM
2 votes:
List fails without Highlander 2.
2013-11-08 11:15:36 AM
1 votes:
The only movie on that list that I wish had a sequel is Master & Commander.  Excellent movie.
2013-11-07 08:06:13 PM
1 votes:

Skyrmion: Gleeman: Speed Racer wasn't bad at all, if you viewed it as a live action cartoon with cartoon physics.

/more like a NONja

If you liked Speed Racer (or if you didn't, but like the idea of a hyper-kinetic racing animated movie) you should check out Redline.


Already own it. When I recommend it to friends/family  I say that it is 50% 'Beyond the Impossible', 50% awesome and 50% testosterone.
2013-11-07 07:31:15 PM
1 votes:

Gleeman: Speed Racer wasn't bad at all, if you viewed it as a live action cartoon with cartoon physics.

/more like a NONja


If you liked Speed Racer (or if you didn't, but like the idea of a hyper-kinetic racing animated movie) you should check out Redline.
2013-11-07 07:19:31 PM
1 votes:

sign_of_Zeta: Speed Racer was no masterpiece but it was exactly what a Speed Racer movie should have been.  I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and in fact, I am going to go buy it today.  Thanks subby.


I did too. I thought it was a fun and entertaining watch. The camera angles and effects were awesome and Christina Ricci looked amazing in that movie. Top it off with john Goodman as pops and a crazy monkey up to crazy antics. Sign me up for a sequel right now.

Also thought john carter was much better than most people gave it credit for.
2013-11-07 06:35:09 PM
1 votes:
Speed Racer wasn't bad at all, if you viewed it as a live action cartoon with cartoon physics.

/more like a NONja
2013-11-07 06:08:33 PM
1 votes:

Ned Stark: There was some speculation around here that Disney bombed the advertising on purpose to sabotage the movie because they knew at that point they were buying star wars and didn't want to have two sci-fi franchises self competing.

Who knows how true that is.


Seems kind of dumb.  They could have pushed the movie better and then just ignored doing a sequel.  I seriously thought it was a little kids movie from the ads.
2013-11-07 05:56:44 PM
1 votes:

Slaves2Darkness: Exactly. It's like the people biatching about the Speed Racer movie never ever saw the horrible one dimensional cartoon that my 8 year old self loved. I mean honestly the cartoon was crap, utter and complete crap, and you had to be a little boy to enjoy it.

The movie was fun, but Susan Sarandon and John Goodman make that movie into something that was awesome.

Speed Racer

was exactly what it was intended to be... and a whole lot more.  Way too much more.  If they'd cut about half an hour out, it would have been a much tighter and better movie.

Still, I enjoyed it, and I too believe a lot of its negative criticism and box office disappointment was simply backlash against the Matrix sequels.  I suspect Cloud Atlas had a similar backlash, which is a shame since that one actually got a lot of positive reviews.
2013-11-07 03:57:15 PM
1 votes:
Just wanted to drop in and say I liked Speed Racer

/Never saw the cartoon.
//Watch back to back with Killer Joe
2013-11-07 02:28:34 PM
1 votes:

BalugaJoe: I am still waiting for Sky Captain 2.


This!!!!
2013-11-07 02:14:20 PM
1 votes:

BafflerMeal: [www.internationalhero.co.uk image 500x399]


I loved Remo Williams when I was a kid, and recently noticed it is streaming on Netflix. I'm afraid to watch it, as I'm not sure it will hold up on viewing it today....
2013-11-07 02:10:19 PM
1 votes:

Englebert Slaptyback: wildcardjack

MithrandirBooga: John Carter wasn't terrible. It was decent, and a lot better than most crap that has endless sequels these days.

That's because Mars sucks. When will studio executives learn not to work with anything dealing with Mars, it just won't work. No matter how good the book, Mars fails with the populace.


Counterpoint:

[top50sf.files.wordpress.com image 850x463]


ACK ACK ACK!


Two things... It's not ON Mars, and it sorta bombed.
2013-11-07 02:03:37 PM
1 votes:

yves0010: Speed Racer was awesome! My nephew and I watch it all the time. Saw it in theaters day 1 and bought the DvD day 1 as well. Then again, I have always been a Speed Racer fan so that would be no surprise. I want another Speed Racer movie. It was very well done and kept the campiness of the original show.


Exactly. It's like the people biatching about the Speed Racer movie never ever saw the horrible one dimensional cartoon that my 8 year old self loved. I mean honestly the cartoon was crap, utter and complete crap, and you had to be a little boy to enjoy it.

The movie was fun, but Susan Sarandon and John Goodman make that movie into something that was awesome.
2013-11-07 01:44:11 PM
1 votes:
I am still waiting for Sky Captain 2.
2013-11-07 01:19:58 PM
1 votes:
Speed Racer was a great movie with incredible visuals.  It is exactly what it was supposed to be, campy and all.  Need to remind myself to watch it tonight, thanks Subby.
2013-11-07 12:42:27 PM
1 votes:

Mateorocks: Master & Commander is a pretty good movie. I would've liked a sequel.


A&E needs to do a series based on the  Aubrey-Maturin series, like they did for Horatio.
2013-11-07 12:22:39 PM
1 votes:

SkunkWorx: I guessed Lemony Snicket, The Golden Compass, Lost in Space and Eragon would be on the list.  Two out of four ain't bad, right?


i'd pay to see a "l.i.s." sequel based on the uniforms worn by the females alone!
2013-11-07 12:11:50 PM
1 votes:

MithrandirBooga: I would have replaced John Carter with Godzilla (1998). That movie was clearly designed to be turned into a sequel, with that ridiculous teaser ending. Thankfully it never happened.


Actually, it did.

It lead directly to this:

www.tvshowsondvd.com

... and it was actually pretty good.
2013-11-07 12:10:53 PM
1 votes:

dittybopper: OK, now, this is odd:
Cowboys and Aliens (2011)
Harrison Ford as the iron-fisted Colonel Dolarhyde and Daniel Craig as a stranger with no memory of his past in Cowboys & Aliens.
Timothy White / Universal Studios and DreamWorks II
Source: Scott Mitchell Rosenberg's graphic novel
Budget: $163 million
Domestic Gross: $100 million
Post-Mortem: The title seemed like a no-brainer, and yet the movie failed to deliver even on the fun promised by those three words. Even with $75 million in overseas grosses, the movie failed to recoup its costs.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if the film cost $163 million, made $100 million domestically, and an additional $75 million overseas, then it made $175 million total, which, last time I checked, was more than $163 million.

I actually liked the film, btw, but it's not really sequel material anyway.  There really wasn't anywhere to go with it, except having more alienses invade the West.


Rule of thumb is you always divide by two.  About half the gross goes to the theaters, distributors, etc.  So a $163 million movie needs to make $326 million to be successful for the studio.
2013-11-07 12:09:08 PM
1 votes:

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Last Man on Earth: List fails without Highlander 2.

Needs better understanding of the phrase "never happened".


Do you hear a whistling sound over your head?
2013-11-07 12:08:15 PM
1 votes:

wildcardjack: That's because Mars sucks. When will studio executives learn not to work with anything dealing with Mars, it just won't work. No matter how good the book, Mars fails with the populace.


BafflerMeal: I watched JC on afternoon. It was much better than people seemed to give it credit for. Not a *great* movie by any stretch, but certainly on par with a lot of movies of it's genre that have done better. The problems were with marketing I feel.



wildcardjack is sort of right. Mars holds no interest to the general population. A movie about/on Mars is just generally not going to see the returns they want if they spend blockbuster-style money on it. John Carter would have worked a lot better if it were a niche film with a lower budget and a more focused audience.

However this is becoming an increasingly large problem with most blockbusters nowadays. 3 of the top 10 movie flops of all time were released just this summer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_box_office_bombs#Biggest_box_of fi ce_bombs ); Hollywood has got to stop spending so much money on gigantic films and spending money on smaller niche films. This idea that every movie has to appeal to everyone is watering down films so much that it's actually turning off most viewers.
2013-11-07 12:07:33 PM
1 votes:
Speed Racer was awesome! My nephew and I watch it all the time. Saw it in theaters day 1 and bought the DvD day 1 as well. Then again, I have always been a Speed Racer fan so that would be no surprise. I want another Speed Racer movie. It was very well done and kept the campiness of the original show.
2013-11-07 12:07:03 PM
1 votes:

IdBeCrazyIf: BafflerMeal: I watched JC on afternoon. It was much better than people seemed to give it credit for. Not a *great* movie by any stretch, but certainly on par with a lot of movies of it's genre that have done better. The problems were with marketing I feel.

The issue with JC is that it never made you want to care about the characters, it was essentially Dances With Wolves in Space



And yet Avatar...
2013-11-07 12:00:13 PM
1 votes:

MithrandirBooga: I would have replaced John Carter with Godzilla (1998). That movie was clearly designed to be turned into a sequel, with that ridiculous teaser ending. Thankfully it never happened.

John Carter wasn't terrible. It was decent, and a lot better than most crap that has endless sequels these days.



I watched JC on afternoon.  It was much better than people seemed to give it credit for.  Not a *great* movie by any stretch, but certainly on par with a lot of movies of it's genre that have done better.  The problems were with marketing I feel.
2013-11-07 11:55:06 AM
1 votes:
I would have replaced John Carter with Godzilla (1998). That movie was clearly designed to be turned into a sequel, with that ridiculous teaser ending. Thankfully it never happened.

John Carter wasn't terrible. It was decent, and a lot better than most crap that has endless sequels these days.
2013-11-07 11:52:09 AM
1 votes:
DanZero:
/quit Americanizing Japanese stuff hollywood!

why? i thought, from my years of reading fark comments, that all hollywood films were either cheap crappy remakes of foreign films no one in america would ever have heard of let alone cared about, or crappy remakes/reboots of older hollywood movies...many of which were already originally remakes of foreign films no one in america would ever have heard of let alone cared about.
2013-11-07 11:46:06 AM
1 votes:
Yeah but Susan Sarandon and Christina Ricci...

\untapped potential so to speak
2013-11-07 11:45:27 AM
1 votes:
Yet.
 
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