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(Mirror.co.uk)   Undercover police sting at strip club finds naked women simulating sex acts and "unacceptable" levels of cocaine in the bathroom. There was no immediate clarification of what would constitute "acceptable" levels of cocaine. (w/ not safe for work pic)   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 49
    More: Obvious, sting operations, undercover officers, nude, congresses, cocaine, licensing laws, The Wiggles, bathrooms  
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16648 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Nov 2013 at 6:18 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-07 12:00:53 AM  
Unacceptable probably means there wasn't enough to share or bring to the Christmas party.
 
2013-11-07 12:22:29 AM  
A club without simulated sex acts and cocaine is called "church."

Vice cops are scum.
 
2013-11-07 01:58:44 AM  
Unacceptable = you forgot to invite us to the party
 
2013-11-07 02:00:12 AM  
FTFA: Unacceptable: The lap dancing clube is to find out whether it cans stay open

I want a dancing clube.

/whatever it is
 
2013-11-07 05:38:13 AM  
There was no immediate clarification of what would constitute "acceptable" levels of cocaine.

s3.amazonaws.com

"I can't feel my face." = "acceptable"
 
2013-11-07 06:21:31 AM  
what a boring world we live in when this is a story.
 
2013-11-07 06:21:32 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-07 06:25:55 AM  
It's actually quite common for dancers and other athletes to use anti-inflammatory balms that are laced with cocaine derivatives during breaks. In fact, Ben Gay cream was originally marketed to exotic dancers under the name Bangey. The name was eventually changed when the balm worked so well that its creators took the cream mainstream and needed something that wasn't so sexually suggestive.

So "acceptable" levels of cocaine would be those found in pain killing creams and gels. Anbesol, a common oral anesthetic contains lidocaine, as does Synthol, a common muscle tone enhancer.
 
2013-11-07 06:33:03 AM  
I am shocked, SHOCKED, to discover that adults like sex and drugs.

I'm just going to have to rethink everything now
 
2013-11-07 06:33:45 AM  
Undercover police sting at strip club find naked women simulating sex acts?  I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.

/ Yes I'm aware some states forbid total nakedness; these state suck and should cease to exist
// They've probably been "investigating" the club for years
 
2013-11-07 06:35:10 AM  

(_)(_)

Unacceptable: The lap dancing clube is to find out whether it cans stay open

 
2013-11-07 06:41:35 AM  

dragonchild: Undercover police sting at strip club find naked women simulating sex acts?  I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.

/ Yes I'm aware some states forbid total nakedness; these state suck and should cease to exist
// They've probably been "investigating" the club for years


Where do I sign up to be a Strip Club Investigator? My community needs me.
 
2013-11-07 06:42:21 AM  
Anything more than a gummy is good, really.
 
2013-11-07 06:43:56 AM  
When I see NSFW, I expect nipples or bush - I am dissapointed.

Besides, TFA said 'PC Harris found "unacceptably high" traces of cocaine in the toilets and changing rooms', not the bathrooms, as stated in the headline.

Obviously PC Harris was appaled that so much cocaine had been flushed.
 
2013-11-07 06:44:23 AM  

Bucky Katt: FTFA: Unacceptable: The lap dancing clube is to find out whether it cans stay open

I want a dancing clube.

/whatever it is



In their editors defence that particular caption is very difficult to proofread.
 
2013-11-07 06:54:49 AM  
Unacceptable level is when you run out
 
2013-11-07 06:56:21 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Where do I sign up to be a Strip Club Investigator?


Join the police, then get on the union's good side by beating up enough black people.  But not too quickly, of course.
 
2013-11-07 07:05:27 AM  

Public Savant: When I see NSFW, I expect nipples or bush - I am dissapointed.

Besides, TFA said 'PC Harris found "unacceptably high" traces of cocaine in the toilets and changing rooms', not the bathrooms, as stated in the headline.

Obviously PC Harris was appaled that so much cocaine had been flushed.


The story is from England, that's what they call the bathroom over there.
 
2013-11-07 07:17:12 AM  
Cheeky!
 
2013-11-07 07:24:47 AM  

ReapTheChaos: Public Savant: When I see NSFW, I expect nipples or bush - I am dissapointed.

Besides, TFA said 'PC Harris found "unacceptably high" traces of cocaine in the toilets and changing rooms', not the bathrooms, as stated in the headline.

Obviously PC Harris was appaled that so much cocaine had been flushed.

The story is from England, that's what they call the bathroom over there.


lol Portsmouth! Vegas it aint
 
2013-11-07 07:28:42 AM  
acceptable=in baggies that easily fit in policeman pockets
 
2013-11-07 07:41:44 AM  
if an article is gonna have one NSFW pic it might as well have multiple NSFW pics

this is inacceptable
 
2013-11-07 07:43:07 AM  
There may not be much of a difference between acceptable and unacceptable, but you have to draw the line somewhere.
 
2013-11-07 07:44:45 AM  
That looks like Kylie's ass to me
 
2013-11-07 07:48:33 AM  
What's the big deal?

Miley Cyrus pranced around on stage in clothing meant to make her look naked and performed simulated sex acts.

And then there was "Wrecking Ball" video where she actually was naked while she simulated a sex act by licking a sledge hammer.
 
2013-11-07 07:48:56 AM  

dragonchild: Danger Avoid Death: Where do I sign up to be a Strip Club Investigator?

Join the police, then get on the union's good side by beating up enough black people.  But not too quickly, of course.


Heh. That last line made me imagine it being said by Shooty or Bang Bang (which one says that part varies depending on source) from Hitchhiker's Guide...

"Either you all give yourselves up and let us beat you up a bit -- though not too much, of course, because we are firmly opposed to needless violence -- or we blow up this entire planet... and possibly one or two others that we noticed on the way over."
 
2013-11-07 07:59:35 AM  
I hate it when adults have a good time.
 
2013-11-07 08:03:04 AM  

Public Savant: When I see NSFW, I expect nipples or bush - I am dissapointed.

kristavanvelzen.sp.nl

/hot
//could also go for the NSFW combo
 
2013-11-07 08:04:42 AM  
I am a little dissapointed, there is nothing more loving than watching a woman hopped up on coke perform the most depraved sexual acts known to man. A man will suck a dick for crack, but a woman she'll fark a donkey for coke and gladly swallow during the climax.
 
2013-11-07 08:35:55 AM  

Bucky Katt: FTFA: Unacceptable: The lap dancing clube is to find out whether it cans stay open

I want a dancing clube.

/whatever it is


THIS! It sounds like a detective game, The Lapdancing Clube, and the object is to find out whether it cans stay open.

Well, cans it?

Unacceptable.
 
2013-11-07 08:38:02 AM  

GiraffeWaffles: Bucky Katt: FTFA: Unacceptable: The lap dancing clube is to find out whether it cans stay open

I want a dancing clube.

/whatever it is


In their editors defence that particular caption is very difficult to proofread.


I suspect they noticed the errors and didn't bother to fix them as they figured nobody'd read it anyway.
 
2013-11-07 08:43:33 AM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Bucky Katt: FTFA: Unacceptable: The lap dancing clube is to find out whether it cans stay open

I want a dancing clube.

/whatever it is

THIS! It sounds like a detective game, The Lapdancing Clube, and the object is to find out whether it cans stay open.

Well, cans it?

Unacceptable.


Those directions are far, far clearer than those found in most japanese import games.
 
2013-11-07 08:51:34 AM  
But was there an acceptable level of crying?
 
2013-11-07 09:15:05 AM  
 
2013-11-07 09:29:43 AM  
What the hell is wrong with simulated sex acts in a club that only adults are allowed to enter?

What rule does the break? What law?

Even Portsmouth doesn't have laws outlawing consensual simulated sex acts in a private area do they?
 
2013-11-07 09:37:47 AM  

CleanAndPure: What the hell is wrong with simulated sex acts in a club that only adults are allowed to enter?


That they're simulated.  Honestly, what sort of sad adult is content with simulated sex?  It's not like the real thing is illegal.

/ oh wait, it is if you pay for it
// unacceptable
 
2013-11-07 09:51:45 AM  
i1.mirror.co.uk

Unacceptable: The lap dancing clube is to find out whether it cans stay open

It's not text, it's subtext...
 
2013-11-07 11:17:10 AM  

Mikey1969: [i1.mirror.co.uk image 615x409]

Unacceptable: The lap dancing clube is to find out whether it cans stay open

It's not text, it's subtext...


Or, possibly, the context.
 
2013-11-07 11:26:59 AM  
This is what the cops were mad about:

"The club also breached laws by claiming CCTV footage was not available."
 
2013-11-07 11:37:39 AM  
Chief: "Harris! Where are you in your report on the Wiggle Club?"
PC Harris: "Uhhh, I better go check it out again, chief. I need some more 'hard' evidence." [turns and winks at camera]
Chief: [watching PC Harris leave] "Boy, that Harris is some detective. Working diligently on this case. Why, his wife hasn't seen him in months. If I don't watch out, he's going to have my job." [drinks coffee]
[fade]
[scene]
 
2013-11-07 12:02:45 PM  
My rule on 'acceptable levels' is; keep the drifts to a minimum.

And watch out for the white sidewalls.


/actually, I'll fire any of my employees that consume drugs at work, or during a period of 8 hours before work.
//it's all spelled out in the employee handbook.
///two drink maximum at lunch.
 
2013-11-07 12:22:05 PM  
Any bets it took 3yrs and 100k to do that investigation.
 
2013-11-07 12:55:29 PM  

Slam1263: My rule on 'acceptable levels' is; keep the drifts to a minimum.

And watch out for the white sidewalls.


/actually, I'll fire any of my employees that consume drugs at work, or during a period of 8 hours before work.
/two drink maximum at lunch
.


Is alcohol not a drug?
so, you fire people if they use drugs that you do not approve of,........   Got it !
 
2013-11-07 01:03:21 PM  
If they don't allow 'contact' between customers and dancers how do  you get a lap dance?

Sounds boring
 
2013-11-07 01:16:12 PM  
Dildos and strippers and cocaine O MY!
 
2013-11-07 02:13:38 PM  
I'll never understand the beef with strip clubs.  It's pretty much widely known that all kinds of debauchery goes around at them.  Drugs, prostitution (in many cases), shiat like that.  I've known two different girls that went to work at them.  Really hot, but business just wasn't very active.  They didn't make nearly as much money as people associate with strippers.  They said most of the people that were working there would come in and actually end up owing the place money (due to various fees and shiat) for coming in to work on particular days, so turnover was high as people didn't respond very kindly to 'Pay us $100 to come in to work.'  That combined with the fact that girls had no qualms about slipping drugs into your bag and then 'busting' you so you'd get fired means it's a shiatty industry to work in unless you have absolutely no other options, or live in an area that has constant 24/7 business available to them.
 
2013-11-07 04:40:18 PM  

Hrist: I'll never understand the beef with strip clubs.  It's pretty much widely known that all kinds of debauchery goes around at them.  Drugs, prostitution (in many cases), shiat like that.  I've known two different girls that went to work at them.  Really hot, but business just wasn't very active.  They didn't make nearly as much money as people associate with strippers.  They said most of the people that were working there would come in and actually end up owing the place money (due to various fees and shiat) for coming in to work on particular days, so turnover was high as people didn't respond very kindly to 'Pay us $100 to come in to work.'  That combined with the fact that girls had no qualms about slipping drugs into your bag and then 'busting' you so you'd get fired means it's a shiatty industry to work in unless you have absolutely no other options, or live in an area that has constant 24/7 business available to them.



I know a couple of women who work as dancers as well.  The work is boring but that's about all.   They make decent money and aren't on drugs or working as prostitutes.

/imagine that... anecdotal evidence doesn't mean all that much.
 
2013-11-07 09:55:55 PM  

Strik3r: Slam1263: My rule on 'acceptable levels' is; keep the drifts to a minimum.

And watch out for the white sidewalls.


/actually, I'll fire any of my employees that consume drugs at work, or during a period of 8 hours before work.
/two drink maximum at lunch.

Is alcohol not a drug?
so, you fire people if they use drugs that you do not approve of,........   Got it !


Oregon, and Washington State have rules. You can not fire someone for having two drinks at lunch, unless it is in an agreement.

I also have sale people, and have done sale most of my life. When you take a client out to lunch, and they have a drink, polite manners suggest you should also.

But thanks for being a douche, I'm sure others appreciate it.
 
2013-11-08 05:21:23 AM  

Slam1263: You can not fire someone for having two drinks at lunch, unless it is in an agreement.


"The consumption of alcoholic beverages and/or illegal substances during work hours may result in disciplinary action up to and including termination."

Holy f*cking sh*t, I should write everybody's employee manual.  This is it!  This is my GED in law!
 
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