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(io9)   Eight things Marvel got wrong about Thor and Norse mythology   (io9.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Marvel Comics, Thor, thor movies, The Mighty Thor, Jack Kirby, Norse, Ultimates, Mjolnir  
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9006 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 Nov 2013 at 1:15 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-06 04:27:49 AM  

Doc Batarang: Wonder Woman is weird though. As a pop culture figure, she's as good as the Easter Bunny or Sherlock Holmes. As an actual comic, it sucks out loud. She's better as one of the mains in the JLA and that's all.


She's also kind of the annoying distaff counterpart type of hero, effectively just "chick Superman" in like 90% of the storylines.

If they want a female JLA member for a movie, I vote Zatanna.  Her shtick is entertaining with the talking backward and the stage magic stuff, she's got a relatively clear origin story that's both comprehensible and reasonably relatable, and she actually wears a bloody shirt (occasionally even pants!).  Plus, her villains are basically "everyone else that uses magic in the DC universe, including the heroes" and she actually makes mistakes and has to fix them, so the plot could possibly not suck to boot.
 
2013-11-06 05:04:57 AM  
img.fark.net
>>for jezebel

img.fark.net
>>for loki.
 
2013-11-06 05:18:52 AM  

Smoking GNU: MaudlinMutantMollusk: A movie, made from a comic book... and they got some mythical, imaginary thing wrong?

/WTF is wrong with you people?

Precisely what i was thinking.


A lot of you seem to be under the misapprehension that the original stories are fake. You are of course all wrong, as you will discover when the wolf shakes free of its chains and swallows the sun.
 
2013-11-06 05:21:17 AM  

cynicalminion: [img.fark.net image 450x548]
>>for jezebel

[img.fark.net image 500x773]
>>for loki.


Actually the first one...yum...
 
2013-11-06 05:24:20 AM  

mhd: You mean this never happened?
[i.imgur.com image 400x199]

/Your blog sucks.


I never knew nipples went "nurp" when you twist them.
 
2013-11-06 05:27:59 AM  

alice_600: mhd: You mean this never happened?
[i.imgur.com image 400x199]

/Your blog sucks.

I never knew nipples went "nurp" when you twist them.


A 'purple nurple', I think.
 
2013-11-06 05:45:53 AM  
a thorple norple?

alice_600: cynicalminion: [img.fark.net image 450x548]
>>for jezebel

[img.fark.net image 500x773]
>>for loki.

Actually the first one...yum...


well, YEAH...   who wouldn't want to be lassoed by wonderman?

also:  *AHEM*  ATTENTION ALL NIPPLES!! GET THE FARK OFF THE BATSUIT!!
 
2013-11-06 06:26:51 AM  
MIGHTY fark! THOR DIDN'T REALLY SPEAK ENGLISH?
 
2013-11-06 07:04:37 AM  

alice_600: mhd: You mean this never happened?
[i.imgur.com image 400x199]

/Your blog sucks.

I never knew nipples went "nurp" when you twist them.


They make all sorts of noises when it's an as guardian god doing the nurpling.
 
2013-11-06 07:08:31 AM  
So comic books and their related movies aren't documentaries?  Sheesh.  I suppose the next big revelation will that the internet isn't 100% accurate.
 
2013-11-06 07:21:19 AM  

Aquapope: When the "Hercules" TV show was on, a friend of mine got pissed at something and said "Nuh uh, that's not the way it really happened."  I still give him shiat for that 15 years later.

How can you make something up about something that's made up and be incorrect?


Vampires don't sparkle.
 
2013-11-06 07:28:30 AM  

kim jong-un: alice_600: mhd: You mean this never happened?
[i.imgur.com image 400x199]

/Your blog sucks.

I never knew nipples went "nurp" when you twist them.

They make all sorts of noises when it's an as guardian god doing the nurpling.


asgardian, or ass-guardian?

thor?  i could hardly walk!!
 
2013-11-06 07:32:06 AM  
"You're Thor? I'm tho thore I can hardly pith!"

/Playboy party jokes from the 1970's, FTW
 
2013-11-06 07:59:43 AM  

Ishkur: Really, it is due to the success of Thor that Marvel is looking at all it's properties and going "Y'know, this could all work. Nothing is farfetched anymore." Hence why they're going for it all with Guardians of the Galaxy.

And which gave us this hilarious tweet:
cdn.uproxx.com


Guardians is going to be the bell weather test for whats can make it to film. Seriously if the movie does well, and I think it will be if its targeted to your tween demographic, the rest of the studios are going to be giving a number of writers midnight calls and apologies for laughing at them on their way out the door.
 
2013-11-06 08:05:17 AM  
Given the size of their ever-expanding money pile, they would probably say they got just enough of it right.
 
2013-11-06 08:07:06 AM  
If this Odin ever met the Odin of Norse myth, Marvel-Odin would get his ass kicked.

Crappy article overall, but this did need to be said. Anthony Hopkins turned in a good performance and all, but I still refer to that version as Fauxdin.
 
2013-11-06 08:11:44 AM  

cynicalminion: [img.fark.net image 450x548]
>>for jezebel

[img.fark.net image 500x773]
>>for loki.


Five beers and I'll have the first, eight for the second.

/NTTAWWT
//maybe
 
mhd
2013-11-06 08:11:59 AM  

Spaced Lion: Anthony Hopkins turned in a good performance and all, but I still refer to that version as Fauxdin.


THEY SHOULD HAVE PICKED ANOTHER BRITISH ACTOR.

/ASGARDIANS, DIVE!
 
2013-11-06 08:33:02 AM  

sephjnr: cynicalminion: [img.fark.net image 450x548]
>>for jezebel

[img.fark.net image 500x773]
>>for loki.

Five beers and I'll have the first, eight for the second.

/NTTAWWT
//maybe


img.fark.net

/to be fair, should be l'oreal asgard...
 
2013-11-06 08:36:18 AM  

Battlestar Girlactica: These didn't happen either?

[img.myconfinedspace.com image 500x886]

[images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 719x600]


img.fark.net

this looks familiar.....

images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-11-06 08:42:27 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-11-06 08:43:55 AM  
Only 8?
 
2013-11-06 08:45:18 AM  

Ishkur: Snapper Carr: I'll see your Beta Ray Bill and raise you Throg.

Isn't that just Glen from Chrono Trigger?


Cyrus' hopes and dreams...and now the Masamune, these will now become my burden!

(God I still think that's one of the best RPG's ever.)
(Too bad they never made a sequel.)
(Chrono Cross? What? Never heard of it...)
 
2013-11-06 08:46:01 AM  
I like how people treat the fragmentary surviving records of a centuries long oral tradition as if they are somehow a definitive version of a mythos.
 
2013-11-06 08:47:27 AM  

sephjnr: cynicalminion: [img.fark.net image 450x548]
>>for jezebel

[img.fark.net image 500x773]
>>for loki.

Five beers and I'll have the first, eight for the second.

/NTTAWWT
//maybe


///there is DEFINITELY something wrong with what those two are doing in my head.
////i'll be in my fjord.
 
2013-11-06 08:48:59 AM  

Sybarite: I like how people treat the fragmentary surviving records of a centuries long oral tradition as if they are somehow a definitive version of a mythos.


i love how naughty that sounds...
/still in my fjord...
 
2013-11-06 08:50:21 AM  

mhd: THEY SHOULD HAVE PICKED ANOTHER BRITISH ACTOR.

/ASGARDIANS, DIVE!


i41.tinypic.com
 
2013-11-06 08:54:37 AM  

Felgraf: Too bad they never made a sequel.


Squeenix didn't (because apparently they hate money for some reason), but the fans did.
 
2013-11-06 09:06:55 AM  

alice_600: mhd: You mean this never happened?
[i.imgur.com image 400x199]

/Your blog sucks.

I never knew nipples went "nurp" when you twist them.


I could demonstrate if you like

/nurp
 
2013-11-06 09:15:08 AM  
Wow. I didn't know that Hodor killed Baldur.


img.pandawhale.com
 
2013-11-06 09:17:01 AM  

bdub77: Another fun advertisement masquerading as an article whose sole purpose is to generate hype  clicksfor a website trying to ride the coat tails of amovie coming out in 3 days.


Newspapers have been doing this forever.  It's not an ad -- it's clickbait.
 
2013-11-06 09:21:05 AM  

Ishkur: Doc Batarang: I always thought Thor was utterly unfilmable. All the Kirby costumes, the Shakespeare lingo, most of the villains, the doofy secret identity, the boring love interests and the rainbow bridge would all make it highly improbable that any of it would translate enough for the wider audience to care.
I think we should all give Thor a round of applause, it actually all works.

Really, it is due to the success of Thor that Marvel is looking at all it's properties and going "Y'know, this could all work. Nothing is farfetched anymore." Hence why they're going for it all with Guardians of the Galaxy.

And which gave us this hilarious tweet:

img.fark.net

I'll call your Raccoon with a machine gun and raise you a rabbit with a sniper rifle.

img2u.info
 
2013-11-06 09:28:53 AM  

spawn73: How can you make something up about something that's made up and be incorrect?

The same way you can fark up a play by Shakespeare, or a story by Charles Dickens.

The moment you go from, I have a good play, or a good story, to, I have a good play by Shakespeare or a good story by Charles Dickens, certain expectations follows.


The difference is that with Shakespeare and Dickens, we have a specific text were working from, which tells a single story.  I'm not well-versed in Norse mythology, but in Greek mythology, the stories come from so many sources over such a period of time that many of them contradict each other as to the basic facts of a particular myth.
 
2013-11-06 09:41:19 AM  

Aquapope: When the "Hercules" TV show was on, a friend of mine got pissed at something and said "Nuh uh, that's not the way it really happened."  I still give him shiat for that 15 years later.

How can you make something up about something that's made up and be incorrect?


I have a friend who once said D&D was inaccurate because they didn't have studded leather. I was like dude this is a made up place with wizards and dragons WTF?
 
2013-11-06 09:45:24 AM  
Corvus:

I have a friend who once said D&D was inaccurate because they didn't have studded leather.

That's why you should play Rolemaster, instead.
 
2013-11-06 10:00:25 AM  

Aquapope: When the "Hercules" TV show was on, a friend of mine got pissed at something and said "Nuh uh, that's not the way it really happened."  I still give him shiat for that 15 years later.

How can you make something up about something that's made up and be incorrect?


Jesus really?

Because what has been written before is cannon and your cheap copy is wrong. Now it might be entertainingly wrong, as the case of Marvel's Thor, but don't use it a source to write your 8th grade paper on Norse Mythos or you will fail.
 
2013-11-06 10:00:43 AM  
That is not really Thor, it's just a hologram.
 
2013-11-06 10:02:41 AM  

Ishkur: Doc Batarang: I always thought Thor was utterly unfilmable. All the Kirby costumes, the Shakespeare lingo, most of the villains, the doofy secret identity, the boring love interests and the rainbow bridge would all make it highly improbable that any of it would translate enough for the wider audience to care.
I think we should all give Thor a round of applause, it actually all works.

Really, it is due to the success of Thor that Marvel is looking at all it's properties and going "Y'know, this could all work. Nothing is farfetched anymore." Hence why they're going for it all with Guardians of the Galaxy.

And which gave us this hilarious tweet:
[cdn.uproxx.com image 563x380]


I can't wait for the dam Racoon with a machine gun, I hope he pulls out a rocket launcher or some other large cannon in the final big bad smackdown. Why? Cause fark you that is why.
 
2013-11-06 10:04:28 AM  

Slaxl: Smoking GNU: MaudlinMutantMollusk: A movie, made from a comic book... and they got some mythical, imaginary thing wrong?

/WTF is wrong with you people?

Precisely what i was thinking.

A lot of you seem to be under the misapprehension that the original stories are fake. You are of course all wrong, as you will discover when the wolf shakes free of its chains and swallows the sun.


Cool, I'll make the popcorn and we can watch the world burn. You bring the wennies.
 
2013-11-06 10:05:21 AM  

Evil Mackerel: That is not really Thor, it's just a hologram.

2urbietorbi.files.wordpress.com
Approves.
 
mhd
2013-11-06 10:05:38 AM  

Corvus: I have a friend who once said D&D was inaccurate because they didn't have studded leather.


And "plate mail".

/But strangely enough made a huge deal about distinguishing between a fauchard and a glaive
 
2013-11-06 10:06:15 AM  
Believe it or not, the god of the ancient Norseman did not speak English of any sort.

Had to stop reading here for my own sanity. Assuming one believes the Thunderer to be real, why wouldn't he speak English? It's a Germanic language, he's a Germanic god, and he was being honored in England by Angles speaking English centuries before Snorri wrote his books in Iceland.
 
2013-11-06 10:11:28 AM  

Evil Mackerel: That is not really Thor, it's just a hologram.


Cool! Does that hologram rock out on it' mystic Axe? Does it hang out with Jem?

Movies that need to be done.
Jem and the Holograms.
Princess Amythest.
Teen Titans/Young Justice/New Mutants/Mutant X (all the same concept)
Booster Gold
 
2013-11-06 10:19:09 AM  
The true tragedy about garbled Norse myths is that tri-ace never made a Valkyrie Profile 3 (for the PS3).
 
2013-11-06 10:22:20 AM  
The article is incorrect about Thor's belt it has always been part of the character, check The Might Thor 381 his soul is inside the destroyer yet he still puts on his belt and cape.
Matter of fact starting at Thor 378 his armor is all magic'd up and he has a beard.

Also the biggest one the article missed is "Mjolnir" the name of the hammer is totally made up.

(The bulk of my collection is 70s-80s thor)
 
2013-11-06 10:28:17 AM  
I find it funny that they are fact-checking against mythology when the myths themselves changed quite often. The myths weren't theology; they were stories old people told children to keep them entertained.
 
2013-11-06 10:29:24 AM  

Ishkur: Doc Batarang: I always thought Thor was utterly unfilmable. All the Kirby costumes, the Shakespeare lingo, most of the villains, the doofy secret identity, the boring love interests and the rainbow bridge would all make it highly improbable that any of it would translate enough for the wider audience to care.
I think we should all give Thor a round of applause, it actually all works.

Really, it is due to the success of Thor that Marvel is looking at all it's properties and going "Y'know, this could all work. Nothing is farfetched anymore." Hence why they're going for it all with Guardians of the Galaxy.

And which gave us this hilarious tweet:
[cdn.uproxx.com image 563x380]


That will always be the greatest tweet ever regarding Marvel v. DC.
 
2013-11-06 10:32:34 AM  
Space Station Wagon

Also the biggest one the article missed is "Mjolnir" the name of the hammer is totally made up.

Do you mean "made up" in the sense that the source material was just made up? Because it's totes in there.

"En hamarrinn Mjöllnir kom í mitt höfuð Hrungni ok lamði hausinn í smán mola, ok fell hann fram yfir Þór, svá at fótr hans lá of háls Þór." - Skáldskaparmál
 
2013-11-06 10:33:23 AM  

bdub77: Another fun advertisement masquerading as an article whose sole purpose is to generate hype for a movie coming out in 3 days.


I like Rob Bricken. He used to write for Topless Robot. I don't mind when he writes blogs like this, I thought it was an interesting read. His stuff usually is. When he used to do Fan Fiction Fridays on TR, his commentary would have me in tears.
 
2013-11-06 10:34:27 AM  
Oh wow, comic 'books' inaccurate? Who woulda thunk?
Next they'll be saying that their use of 'fizzix' isn't real.
 
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