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(Des Moines Register)   You can pretty much bet after you turn in your job application and get busted for shoplifting at the store you just applied at they're not going to consider your resume   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line 42
    More: Dumbass, job applications, Marshalltown, resumes  
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3145 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2013 at 12:26 AM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-05 08:54:56 PM
*mumbling*

I could set the building on fire

*mumbling*
 
2013-11-05 09:29:00 PM
Police and store management later reviewed security footage. Briggs was called back for a job interview Friday and arrested.

Rob the store and then go back for the interview? Wow...
 
2013-11-05 10:42:27 PM
special skills: familiarity with the store's security program
 
2013-11-05 11:00:54 PM

calbert: special skills: familiarity with the store's security program


Other distinguishing skills: N/A
 
2013-11-05 11:20:23 PM

miss diminutive: Police and store management later reviewed security footage. Briggs was called back for a job interview Friday and arrested.

Rob the store and then go back for the interview? Wow...


I gotta admit, that takes a lot of guts.
 
2013-11-06 12:29:50 AM
Hey, you don't know.  That might not be a deal breaker in some establishments.
 
2013-11-06 12:36:36 AM
In complete fairness to that logic, it's only the getting busted part that really foils the employment prospects..

//still pretty stupid on a variety of fronts, though
 
2013-11-06 12:39:08 AM
They'll consider it ... a blessing that he was kind enough to demonstrate is true color before they hired him.
 
2013-11-06 12:42:11 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-06 12:44:17 AM
Hey, that kind of strategy works for large banks.
 
2013-11-06 12:45:22 AM

RedPhoenix122: miss diminutive: Police and store management later reviewed security footage. Briggs was called back for a job interview Friday and arrested.

Rob the store and then go back for the interview? Wow...

I gotta admit, that takes a lot of guts glue sniffing


He stole from a store to which he had just given his name and contact info. He could've stolen the stuff, been spotted and walked out the door remaining completely unidentified. Going back for the interview was just the moronic cherry on the whole dumbass cake.
 
2013-11-06 12:46:38 AM
I wasn't aware refusing to put on handcuffs was an option when getting arrested.
 
2013-11-06 12:47:27 AM
At least they called him back.

*sighs*
 
2013-11-06 12:51:47 AM

DarkSoulNoHope: At least they called him back.

*sighs*


Job Seekers Tip #23: Do something to be noticed and remembered
 
2013-11-06 12:52:04 AM

Peter von Nostrand: *mumbling*

I could set the building on fire

*mumbling*


Thank  You
 
2013-11-06 12:53:22 AM

sandinista!: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 500x331]


His name isn't Warren.

/His name isn't Warren?
 
2013-11-06 12:56:27 AM
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2013-11-06 12:56:41 AM
See now originally I thought this may have been a clever ruse to get them to drop their guard and steal stuff. Resume with fake name and other info. They wouldn't suspect someone applying for a job to do this. But then going back for the interview completely blew that thought away.
 
2013-11-06 12:58:45 AM
Come on, wouldn't you rather have him stealing FOR the store instead of FROM it?
 
2013-11-06 01:03:51 AM
Came for picture of Warren from Empire Records. Leaving satisfied.
 
2013-11-06 01:08:42 AM
I think this is genius. How else can he pay the fines and legal fees if he is unemployed? Better give him that job!

This was always my lame argument with my stupid boss at Blue Cross, when I was in the mailroom. The fancy, high-tech envelope stuffing machines we had that cost $500,000, were always breaking down and sometimes we would get a little...'forceful' with them (dropping lids, slamming lids, ripping the paper out of the machine with no regards to the innards, etc.). My boss caught me one day after I accidentally dropped a lid harder than I meant to (hand was wet) and she threatened me with termination (legit) and paying for the machine (yeah, right). I just told her that was job security, as how could I pay for something I busted that cost that much, with no job? That sounded like job security to me. She just turned and clip-clopped back to her desk to play Tetris while we did all the work.
</bcs?>
 
2013-11-06 01:20:31 AM
Police say Briggs then took off with a T-shirt, a hooded jacket and a baseball cap. The items were estimated to cost about $150.
Who was robbing who here?
 
2013-11-06 01:31:17 AM

calbert: special skills: familiarity with the store's security program


Yeah... he was just testing the store's security. That's the ticket!
 
2013-11-06 02:45:57 AM

RedPhoenix122: miss diminutive: Police and store management later reviewed security footage. Briggs was called back for a job interview Friday and arrested.

Rob the store and then go back for the interview? Wow...

I gotta admit, that takes a lot of guts.


And no brains.
 
2013-11-06 02:49:36 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: Police say Briggs then took off with a T-shirt, a hooded jacket and a baseball cap. The items were estimated to cost about $150.
Who was robbing whom here?


The guy who took stuff without paying for it. You can decide not to shop at the store. The store can't decide for you not to walk out with their stuff.
 
2013-11-06 03:00:43 AM

untaken_name: drjekel_mrhyde: Police say Briggs then took off with a T-shirt, a hooded jacket and a baseball cap. The items were estimated to cost about $150.
Who was robbing whom here?

The guy who took stuff without paying for it. You can decide not to shop at the store. The store can't decide for you not to walk out with their stuff.


Swing and a miss! That one was a little high and outside, but untaken_name thought he could get a piece of it and he sure did try. You have to give him credit for trying. Okay, drjekel_mrhyde has the ball back. Let's see what he does here with it.
 
2013-11-06 03:34:08 AM

gadian: Hey, you don't know.  That might not be a deal breaker in some establishments.


True. It could be a store in a feelgood movie about a hard luck kid who gets his life turned around.

Oh wait, this is real life.
 
2013-11-06 03:50:04 AM

Clint_Torres: untaken_name: drjekel_mrhyde: Police say Briggs then took off with a T-shirt, a hooded jacket and a baseball cap. The items were estimated to cost about $150.
Who was robbing whom here?

The guy who took stuff without paying for it. You can decide not to shop at the store. The store can't decide for you not to walk out with their stuff.

Swing and a miss! That one was a little high and outside, but untaken_name thought he could get a piece of it and he sure did try. You have to give him credit for trying. Okay, drjekel_mrhyde has the ball back. Let's see what he does here with it.


Wow, a baseball announcer take. Haven't seen one of those in years. If only it had been either correct or fitting... Ah, if only.
 
2013-11-06 06:20:48 AM
First sentence in the article:  "A Chicago man . . ."

After watching the way things work in Chicago, why would he think there's anything wrong with this?
 
2013-11-06 06:24:06 AM

starsrift: True. It could be a store in a feelgood movie about a hard luck kid who gets his life turned around.

Oh wait, this is real life.


Yeah, that or the bankers and stock brokers I was alluding to.  Some hookers too.
 
2013-11-06 06:37:23 AM
I got a job at a place called Sound Advice (music store... not instruments, but cassette, CD, LP) from helping them catch shoplifters... aaaah sweet irony (I used to shoplift there all the time).

/I was a teenage twit...
 
2013-11-06 07:04:20 AM
You can pretty much bet after you turn in your job application and get busted for shoplifting at the store to/at which you just applied, at they're not going to consider your resume

/if you need me I'll be in pedant's corner
 
2013-11-06 07:15:30 AM

Lady J: You can pretty much bet after you turn in your job application and get busted for shoplifting at the store to/at which you just applied, at they're not going to consider your resume

/if you need me I'll be in pedant's corner


I hope the pedant in that corner teaches you that it's permissible to end a sentence with a preposition in English.
 
2013-11-06 07:26:36 AM

untaken_name: Lady J: You can pretty much bet after you turn in your job application and get busted for shoplifting at the store to/at which you just applied, at they're not going to consider your resume

/if you need me I'll be in pedant's corner

I hope the pedant in that corner teaches you that it's permissible to end a sentence with a preposition in English.


permissible in the sense that it's not punishable by death, I guess
 
2013-11-06 07:37:59 AM

Lady J: untaken_name: Lady J: You can pretty much bet after you turn in your job application and get busted for shoplifting at the store to/at which you just applied, at they're not going to consider your resume

/if you need me I'll be in pedant's corner

I hope the pedant in that corner teaches you that it's permissible to end a sentence with a preposition in English.

permissible in the sense that it's not punishable by death, I guess


Permissible in the sense that it isn't against the rules of the language. You're thinking of Latin. English, as you may or may not have noticed, isn't Latin.
 
2013-11-06 08:23:32 AM
While it wasn't an immediate thing, my wife (14 at the time IIRC) was busted at Sears for shoplifting, while carrying still-tagged stuff from Target.

5 years later, she got a job at Target. In Security.
 
2013-11-06 09:09:24 AM
Really? But by shoplifting it shows you are willing to put in a little work and take risks to make a profit. It shows initiative. I'd hire him (or her, I didn't RTFA).
 
2013-11-06 09:09:24 AM
Well, they did call him for a 2nd interview.  Sometimes you don't get even that.
 
2013-11-06 10:25:08 AM
The  correct career path is
1)  Screw people on Wall St. making millions
2)  Get hired by SEC and not do you job allowing billions in fraud
3)  Get hired by Federal Reserve managing trillions in fraud
 
2013-11-06 11:34:47 AM

untaken_name: Clint_Torres: untaken_name: drjekel_mrhyde: Police say Briggs then took off with a T-shirt, a hooded jacket and a baseball cap. The items were estimated to cost about $150.
Who was robbing whom here?

The guy who took stuff without paying for it. You can decide not to shop at the store. The store can't decide for you not to walk out with their stuff.

Swing and a miss! That one was a little high and outside, but untaken_name thought he could get a piece of it and he sure did try. You have to give him credit for trying. Okay, drjekel_mrhyde has the ball back. Let's see what he does here with it.

Wow, a baseball announcer take. Haven't seen one of those in years. If only it had been either correct or fitting... Ah, if only.


I'm not a 'sporto', so if any of my terminology is wrong, that's why. And it is fitting, as drjekel_mrhyde's comment went over your head. Kind of like an errant pitch.

In looking through the new comments since my last visit, I see that you are pedantic (2b), and a douche. So feel free to rip apart any of my comment, looking for anything to make you feel better about yourself.

/pedantic douche has a nice ring to it
//new song or album title
///patent pending!
 
2013-11-06 11:38:25 AM

Clint_Torres: untaken_name: Clint_Torres: untaken_name: drjekel_mrhyde: Police say Briggs then took off with a T-shirt, a hooded jacket and a baseball cap. The items were estimated to cost about $150.
Who was robbing whom here?

The guy who took stuff without paying for it. You can decide not to shop at the store. The store can't decide for you not to walk out with their stuff.

Swing and a miss! That one was a little high and outside, but untaken_name thought he could get a piece of it and he sure did try. You have to give him credit for trying. Okay, drjekel_mrhyde has the ball back. Let's see what he does here with it.

Wow, a baseball announcer take. Haven't seen one of those in years. If only it had been either correct or fitting... Ah, if only.

I'm not a 'sporto', so if any of my terminology is wrong, that's why. And it is fitting, as drjekel_mrhyde's comment went over your head. Kind of like an errant pitch.

In looking through the new comments since my last visit, I see that you are pedantic (2b), and a douche. So feel free to rip apart any of my comment, looking for anything to make you feel better about yourself.

/pedantic douche has a nice ring to it
//new song or album title
///patent pending!


Um, no, it didn't. I don't even know why you think that. I just didn't happen to agree with the point he was trying to make. But that's ok. Call me some more names, if you like. It must be nice for you to feel superior to SOMEONE, at least for a little while, even if it's illusory.
 
2013-11-06 11:55:07 AM

untaken_name: Clint_Torres: untaken_name: Clint_Torres: untaken_name: drjekel_mrhyde: Police say Briggs then took off with a T-shirt, a hooded jacket and a baseball cap. The items were estimated to cost about $150.
Who was robbing whom here?

The guy who took stuff without paying for it. You can decide not to shop at the store. The store can't decide for you not to walk out with their stuff.

Swing and a miss! That one was a little high and outside, but untaken_name thought he could get a piece of it and he sure did try. You have to give him credit for trying. Okay, drjekel_mrhyde has the ball back. Let's see what he does here with it.

Wow, a baseball announcer take. Haven't seen one of those in years. If only it had been either correct or fitting... Ah, if only.

I'm not a 'sporto', so if any of my terminology is wrong, that's why. And it is fitting, as drjekel_mrhyde's comment went over your head. Kind of like an errant pitch.

In looking through the new comments since my last visit, I see that you are pedantic (2b), and a douche. So feel free to rip apart any of my comment, looking for anything to make you feel better about yourself.

/pedantic douche has a nice ring to it
//new song or album title
///patent pending!

Um, no, it didn't. I don't even know why you think that. I just didn't happen to agree with the point he was trying to make. But that's ok. Call me some more names, if you like. It must be nice for you to feel superior to SOMEONE, at least for a little while, even if it's illusory.


Relax. You'll get thanked in the liner notes. And I don't feel superior to anyone, not even smug grammar nazis.
 
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