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(People Magazine)   Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger's rules for a successful marriage. That's the joke   (people.com) divider line 47
    More: Silly, Chad Kroeger, Avril Lavigne, honeymoons  
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3452 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Nov 2013 at 7:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-05 06:01:11 PM  
How long have they been married? Yeah, that's what I thought. Shut the fark up.
 
2013-11-05 06:02:36 PM  
I'm guessing one of them is to take a lot of photographs. Because every time you look at them it makes you laugh. Of course it leads to questions of how your eyes got so red. And what the hell was on Joey's head?
 
2013-11-05 06:13:40 PM  
Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger.


Good lord, that is truly the House of Suck.
 
2013-11-05 06:30:14 PM  

Rev.K: Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger.


Good lord, that is truly the House of Suck.


The divorce albums will create a black hole of suck and destroy the Universe.
 
2013-11-05 06:33:56 PM  
meh, they're happy. Who cares?
 
2013-11-05 06:34:25 PM  
Scoff all you want, this is the kind of advice young couples need. Newlyweds often come to me with a long list of complex problems and I'll ask them, "Why'd you have to go and make it so complicated?"
 
2013-11-05 06:53:37 PM  
It actually makes perfect sense. If you want to stay married and keep a relationship strong, you should always be ready to apologize.

And they're both Canadian.
 
2013-11-05 07:27:54 PM  
That is a lot of makeup
 
2013-11-05 07:31:37 PM  
And the joke is, when he awoke, his / Body was covered in coke fizz
 
2013-11-05 07:31:49 PM  

plushpuppy: That is a lot of makeup


Yeah, and Avril's got a little too much on as well.
 
2013-11-05 07:34:25 PM  
FTA: "It's important that we share the things we have in common, like making crappy music, for instance. Sometimes we lie awake at night and laugh at all the suckers who bought downloads of our songs. Oops, we mean 'fans', not 'suckers'."
 
2013-11-05 07:35:46 PM  

Rev.K: Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger.

Good lord, that is truly the House of Suck.


"Chavril".
 
2013-11-05 07:50:26 PM  
You guys should read my book


"How to find eternal happiness and bliss:


A lovers guide to building and maintaining a lasting relationship


(based on my experiences with this hot piece of ass I met at a party last night)"

-by MurphyMurphy

/the title is wordy
//that's what makes it stand out on the shelves
 
2013-11-05 07:55:07 PM  
she's so punk!
 
2013-11-05 08:20:29 PM  
listening to shiatty pop music?
 
2013-11-05 08:20:44 PM  
Avril and Chad's rules for a successful marriage #34: "Keep things interesting in the bedroom. We put on a Bryan Adams record, turn down the lights, then I pour maple syrup all over Chad's body and lick it off. He likes to eat poutine out of my butt."
 
2013-11-05 08:40:34 PM  

Leader O'Cola: listening to shiatty pop music?


Listening to EACH OTHER'S shiatty pop music.

FTFY
 
2013-11-05 08:43:51 PM  
Is it just me or does she look completely uninterested and annoyed when he talks.. Especially when she started knocking back the wine..
 
2013-11-05 08:53:08 PM  
Ha! I made it in time to watch the casting of sour grapes and tiny pickles in real time.
 
2013-11-05 09:09:24 PM  
My secret to a happy marriage with Avril would be to never, ever remove my member from her.
 
2013-11-05 09:21:38 PM  
Chad looks like a dork, Avril looks like a whore. Think I have that covered.
 
2013-11-05 09:23:16 PM  
She is cute, although about as far from punk as your friendly neighborhood klezmer band.
 
2013-11-05 10:13:43 PM  
It's funny when young people who haven't been married for a few years share their "marriage success" formulas.
 
2013-11-05 10:16:31 PM  
This couple has done more to ruin Canada's reputation for music since Celine Dion.
 
2013-11-05 11:03:11 PM  

1979: And the joke is, when he awoke, his / Body was covered in coke fizz


I don't know what it has to do with this thread, but I'm always up for random Sloan lyrics.
 
2013-11-05 11:03:41 PM  

MrEricSir: This couple has done more to ruin Canada's reputation for music since Celine Dion.


Since the '80s free trade agreement we've been conditioned to sell everything we have to the US... it's not our fault they have no taste and keep buying up all the garbage now is it?

/Tragically Hip, Rush. Blue Rodeo (new album out!), etc etc.. our legacy is just fine
//We have apologised for Bryan Adams several times already
 
2013-11-05 11:22:20 PM  

Hiro-ACiD: MrEricSir: This couple has done more to ruin Canada's reputation for music since Celine Dion.

Since the '80s free trade agreement we've been conditioned to sell everything we have to the US... it's not our fault they have no taste and keep buying up all the garbage now is it?

/Tragically Hip, Rush. Blue Rodeo (new album out!), etc etc.. our legacy is just fine
//We have apologised for Bryan Adams several times already


I'd also throw in Skinny Puppy. Canada isn't entirely a musical cesspool.
 
2013-11-05 11:57:03 PM  
Easy peasy.

1) Meet someone in your profession who is moderately successful.
2) Marry that person.
3) Bide your time until you meet someone else who has six times as much money as your current spouse.
4) Kick loser spouse to the curb, marry richer guy.
 
2013-11-05 11:57:30 PM  

MrEricSir: Hiro-ACiD: MrEricSir: This couple has done more to ruin Canada's reputation for music since Celine Dion.

Since the '80s free trade agreement we've been conditioned to sell everything we have to the US... it's not our fault they have no taste and keep buying up all the garbage now is it?

/Tragically Hip, Rush. Blue Rodeo (new album out!), etc etc.. our legacy is just fine
//We have apologised for Bryan Adams several times already

I'd also throw in Skinny Puppy. Canada isn't entirely a musical cesspool.


Neil Young compensates for at least 2 Biebers.
 
2013-11-06 02:09:26 AM  
I'll be sure to try and follow their advice 15 years from now; you know...after they actually have to deal with being together for any length of time.

"Never be apart for more than 2 weeks"

Are you farking kidding me?  

Spend every waking hour with the same person for years at a time before you tell others how to be in a real relationship.
 
2013-11-06 05:00:27 AM  

ChewbaccaJones: I'll be sure to try and follow their advice 15 years from now; you know...after they actually have to deal with being together for any length of time.

"Never be apart for more than 2 weeks"

Are you farking kidding me?  

Spend every waking hour with the same person for years at a time before you tell others how to be in a real relationship.


Two weeks is the most I've been away in 10 years of marriage. And it hurt.
 
2013-11-06 05:52:07 AM  
We are in our sixteenth year of marriage. One by one we've watched friends divorce over the years. Do you know what is required for a successful marriage?

Luck.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is deluded or charging you by the hour.
 
2013-11-06 06:56:51 AM  

August11: Do you know what is required for a successful marriage?


Dat ass?

fabzz.com
 
2013-11-06 07:41:04 AM  

abhorrent1: August11: Do you know what is required for a successful marriage?

Dat ass?

[fabzz.com image 520x405]


Yup...dat ass

would.
 
2013-11-06 10:47:31 AM  
Been with my wife for 15 years (married 6).
It doesn't take love.
It doesn't take luck.
It doesn't take God.

It takes bitterness and cynicism.
If my darling wife wants one penny from me, she's gonna have to suffer me. No alimony.
I'm not quitting if she doesn't and only one of us is getting out of this marriage alive.

Might take 6 more years or 60, but one will see the other in the cold cold ground, and the day of the funeral the survivor will be declared the winner.

/love ya sweetie.
 
2013-11-06 10:55:03 AM  

abhorrent1: August11: Do you know what is required for a successful marriage?

Dat ass?


I would pretend that crack was the greatest icecream cone on earth.
 
2013-11-06 12:21:19 PM  

braedan: Been with my wife for 15 years (married 6).
It doesn't take love.
It doesn't take luck.
It doesn't take God.

It takes bitterness and cynicism.
If my darling wife wants one penny from me, she's gonna have to suffer me. No alimony.
I'm not quitting if she doesn't and only one of us is getting out of this marriage alive.

Might take 6 more years or 60, but one will see the other in the cold cold ground, and the day of the funeral the survivor will be declared the winner.

/love ya sweetie.


I was married 13 and the divorce was expensive but worth it.
 
2013-11-06 12:29:14 PM  

MrEricSir: This couple has done more to ruin Canada's reputation for music since Celine Dion.


Canada exports more music, per capita, to the world than any other country.  There's bound to be some duds.
 
2013-11-06 01:17:44 PM  

monoski: braedan: Been with my wife for 15 years (married 6).
It doesn't take love.
It doesn't take luck.
It doesn't take God.

It takes bitterness and cynicism.
If my darling wife wants one penny from me, she's gonna have to suffer me. No alimony.
I'm not quitting if she doesn't and only one of us is getting out of this marriage alive.

Might take 6 more years or 60, but one will see the other in the cold cold ground, and the day of the funeral the survivor will be declared the winner.

/love ya sweetie.

I was married 13 and the divorce was expensive but worth it.


I'd never get divorced, no one else will put up w/ me and no one else should be subjected to her!
I love my wife, but there are times I want to kill her.
 
2013-11-06 01:50:37 PM  

DMZ DEATH: abhorrent1: August11: Do you know what is required for a successful marriage?

Dat ass?

I would pretend that crack was the greatest icecream cone on earth.


Just keep in mind that Chad Kroegers penis has probably been in there.

/I wouldn't care though
//OM NOM NOM
 
2013-11-06 03:20:00 PM  

braedan: I was married 13 and the divorce was expensive but worth it.

I'd never get divorced, no one else will put up w/ me and no one else should be subjected to her!
I love my wife, but there are times I want to kill her.


I think Bill Murray said "women, can't live with'em but can't cut'em up into little pieces and put them in the freezer"
 
2013-11-06 05:54:10 PM  
Sounds like they don't trust each other or themselves so are making rules to stop any cheating. That should work out well.
 
2013-11-06 06:10:07 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: Sounds like they don't trust each other or themselves so are making rules to stop any cheating. That should work out well.


I don't think it's a bad Idea. People do stupid shiat when they're drunk. And when you have assholes with cameras following you everywhere, 5 seconds of drunkin idiocy can ruin your marriage.
 
2013-11-06 06:20:11 PM  

monoski: I was married 13 and the divorce was expensive but worth it.


my first marriage lasted 15 years.  the divorce left me financially ruined.

totally worth it.  not even kidding.  seriously, if I had left that marriage with 8 toes, one testicle, no teeth and could only breathe with the help of machines....  it still would have been worth it.
 
2013-11-06 06:47:24 PM  

abhorrent1: J. Frank Parnell: Sounds like they don't trust each other or themselves so are making rules to stop any cheating. That should work out well.

I don't think it's a bad Idea. People do stupid shiat when they're drunk. And when you have assholes with cameras following you everywhere, 5 seconds of drunkin idiocy can ruin your marriage.


going out and getting drunk in a night club without your spouse is a bad idea for any couple, but ESPECIALLY when you are rich and famous.  Yeah, we all like to hate on these two but they are "in demand" people; that is, people want to fark them.  going out and getting drunk and partying is nothing but a recipe for mistakes and lies.

seriously, how many "cheating" stories start with "well, I was drunk"?

you can trust someone all day long, but get those inhibitions lowered and bad stuff can and does happen - and let's face it - lots of things that one would never do sober suddenly sound like great farking ideas with a few drinks in ya.
 
2013-11-07 01:17:19 AM  
img001.lazygirls.info

oyster.ignimgs.com

www.celebridoodle.com

imageshack.us

www.studybreakmedia.com
 
2013-11-07 02:34:32 AM  

monoski: braedan: I was married 13 and the divorce was expensive but worth it.

I'd never get divorced, no one else will put up w/ me and no one else should be subjected to her!
I love my wife, but there are times I want to kill her.

I think Bill Murray said "women, can't live with'em but can't cut'em up into little pieces and put them in the freezer"


sure you can.  not LEGALLY, but many people have actually accomplished it before.
/pet peeve with quotes like that.
 
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