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(Deadline)   History Channel to reboot Roots "for a new audience." Finally we can discover how ancient aliens were involved in the slave trade   (deadline.com) divider line 56
    More: Silly, ancient aliens, History Channel, roots, reboot, Ed Asner, historical drama films, McCoys, Big Week  
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612 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Nov 2013 at 7:30 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-05 05:26:03 PM
The Aliens were Ice Road Truckers.
 
2013-11-05 05:29:21 PM
I'm not saying it was slavery....
 
2013-11-05 05:35:53 PM
Or the slaves were really aliens?
 
2013-11-05 05:49:49 PM
Man, I made the mistake of watching a few episodes of Ancient Aliens last night and now my mind is full of fark. Many of the guys on that show aren't claiming that alien visitation during human history was something of a possibility but rather an indisputable fact. I felt like Gandalf: Tell me, when did the History Channel abandon historical programming for crackpottery!?
 
2013-11-05 06:02:01 PM
"I'd never seen a real-life Congolese negro before, but I really wanted him on my plantation. So, I called up my buddy who's an expert on Congolese negroes to come and take a closer look."
 
2013-11-05 06:11:24 PM
I'm sure this will be about as educational as "America: fark Yeah" and "Those Robber Barons Were Great Guys".
 
2013-11-05 06:18:20 PM
The part where Larry the Cable Guy played a plantation overseer and kept shouting "git-r-done" to the slaves was in especially poor taste.
 
2013-11-05 06:19:36 PM

Slaxl: Or the slaves were really aliens?


they were Cylons!  yeah man...cylons.  study it out!
 
2013-11-05 06:21:49 PM
I have a buddy who knows everything there is to know about slavery, mind if I give him a call?
 
2013-11-05 06:24:32 PM
Hitler's Secret Underground Army of Alien Slaves Revealed
 
2013-11-05 06:41:57 PM
It would be way more offensive if it were called Coon Stars. And they used the same obese white family but they appraised human chattel.
 
2013-11-05 06:43:07 PM

exick: Man, I made the mistake of watching a few episodes of Ancient Aliens last night and now my mind is full of fark. Many of the guys on that show aren't claiming that alien visitation during human history was something of a possibility but rather an indisputable fact. I felt like Gandalf: Tell me, when did the History Channel abandon historical programming for crackpottery!?


About 2007.  You just now noticed?
 
2013-11-05 07:30:31 PM
They are the lost tribe of American Egyptians trying to get their land back
 
2013-11-05 07:37:10 PM
Will this be one of those "darker, grittier" reboots?
 
2013-11-05 07:37:34 PM
I'm not saying it was Romulans...

img.trekmovie.com
 
2013-11-05 07:38:19 PM
my name is kunte kinte, biatch

too obscure?
 
2013-11-05 07:39:01 PM
f.kulfoto.com
 
2013-11-05 07:40:43 PM

Nogrhi: I'm not saying it was slavery....


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-05 08:01:15 PM
A period piece needs to be updated...

Hmmm... will it take place during the slave trade of the 1970s
 
2013-11-05 08:02:40 PM
img.photobucket.com

/Sheldon
 
2013-11-05 08:05:09 PM
mimg.ugo.com

Seemed relevant...
 
2013-11-05 08:06:39 PM
Does this mean they'll add dance numbers to broaden its appeal?
 
2013-11-05 08:09:38 PM
Wrong. There are no ancient aliens, just the Original scientists that built the Mother Wheel in what we now call Japan. I also have it on good authority that the white race was created on a Greek island by an evil a scientist named Yakub.
 
2013-11-05 08:12:04 PM
Damn you all, I need new keyboard now!
 
2013-11-05 08:18:15 PM
Not a terrible idea in theory. Too bad they'll find a way to fark it up.
 
2013-11-05 08:19:22 PM

CavalierEternal: "I'd never seen a real-life Congolese negro before, but I really wanted him on my plantation. So, I called up my buddy who's an expert on Congolese negroes to come and take a closer look."


Came in to make a similar joke, leaving satisfied
 
2013-11-05 08:21:22 PM

Cagey B: The part where Larry the Cable Guy played a plantation overseer and kept shouting "git-r-done" to the slaves was in especially poor taste.


---Damn, this one had me laughing so much.  I can really see this new version of Roots to be a colossal cluster-fark.  Just force the millenials watch the old one on VHS like we did.
 
2013-11-05 08:22:44 PM

CavalierEternal: "I'd never seen a real-life Congolese negro before, but I really wanted him on my plantation. So, I called up my buddy who's an expert on Congolese negroes to come and take a closer look."


nexxtlevelup.com
 
2013-11-05 08:28:49 PM

fusillade762: Will this be one of those "darker, grittier" reboots?


Damned straight it will be! We'll see the blood splatter, the whipping will be in slow-mo, the farking will - well okay, it's History so there'll be no farking, but you get my point.
 
2013-11-05 08:34:17 PM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: I'm not saying it was Romulans...

[img.trekmovie.com image 367x280]


YO NAME IS GEORDI!
 
2013-11-05 08:36:49 PM

exick: Man, I made the mistake of watching a few episodes of Ancient Aliens last night and now my mind is full of fark. Many of the guys on that show aren't claiming that alien visitation during human history was something of a possibility but rather an indisputable fact. I felt like Gandalf: Tell me, when did the History Channel abandon historical programming for crackpottery!?


I still think the rifftrax guys should do an episode of that. Come on, you have to admit that would be pretty funny.
 
2013-11-05 08:37:43 PM

farkingismybusiness: Nogrhi: I'm not saying it was slavery....


Okay, I lost it over that one.

/"Jarred's an idiot for overbidding!"
 
2013-11-05 08:41:35 PM
Did ancient aliens wear Lee Press-on Nails?
i154.photobucket.com
(sorry couldn't help myself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCtOJQ1qvtw )
 
2013-11-05 08:41:51 PM

FriarReb98: fusillade762: Will this be one of those "darker, grittier" reboots?

Damned straight it will be! We'll see the blood splatter, the whipping will be in slow-mo, the farking will - well okay, it's History so there'll be no farking, but you get my point.


Sad thing, the reality, is that it will be done on a budget and it will look like it was shot on the set of a soap opera, with acting of similar caliber.  I predict an abomination.

Besides, they could re-run the original Roots as a "special presentation, restored and remastered in HD from the original film reels" and score much higher ratings.
 
2013-11-05 09:01:45 PM
A reboot is overdue, they should make it a musical about vampire enslaving werewolves with a zombie epidemic in the background. They should not forget to put in a characters that children will like, that was sadly missing from the original. And I hope they don't forget the merchandising this time, "Team Master" and "Team Slave" t-shirts should be best sellers for Christmas.
 
2013-11-05 09:15:20 PM

Earguy: FriarReb98: fusillade762: Will this be one of those "darker, grittier" reboots?

Damned straight it will be! We'll see the blood splatter, the whipping will be in slow-mo, the farking will - well okay, it's History so there'll be no farking, but you get my point.

Sad thing, the reality, is that it will be done on a budget and it will look like it was shot on the set of a soap opera, with acting of similar caliber.  I predict an abomination.

Besides, they could re-run the original Roots as a "special presentation, restored and remastered in HD from the original film reels" and score much higher ratings.


Very true. The original, aired when most people's choices were ABC, CBS, NBC, and PBS, was seen by up to 140 million viewers. A cable show will be budgeted hoping for 1-2% of that. Even the 1988 Roots Christmas special (Roots: The Gift) probably had 10 times the viewership this will get.

Why remake a period film when you can't possibly match it? Just remaster it in HD and surround sound and put it on again. If people are willing to watch The Wizard of Oz, The Sound of Music, and It's a Wonderful Life every year, the original Roots is newer than any of those, so what's the deal?
 
2013-11-05 09:20:23 PM

exick: Man, I made the mistake of watching a few episodes of Ancient Aliens last night and now my mind is full of fark. Many of the guys on that show aren't claiming that alien visitation during human history was something of a possibility but rather an indisputable fact. I felt like Gandalf: Tell me, when did the History Channel abandon historical programming for crackpottery!?


Here, watch Ancient Aliens Debunked. It's 3 hours long, but it will clear out the ca-ca the show put in your brain.
 
2013-11-05 09:59:49 PM
16 year old colored girl, suitable for housework?
networthq.com I can do like $5
 
2013-11-05 10:07:23 PM

OtherLittleGuy: farkingismybusiness: Nogrhi: I'm not saying it was slavery....

Okay, I lost it over that one.

/"Jarred's an idiot for overbidding!"


Yuuuuuuuuuupppp!
 
2013-11-05 10:18:26 PM
27.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-11-05 10:18:31 PM
Will this one be a bunch of poorly-researched, made-up BS masquerading as a "true story" too?
 
2013-11-05 10:25:05 PM
kristinhoppe.files.wordpress.com

Awesome work guys. I'm in hysterics.
 
2013-11-05 10:29:44 PM
Given how much of ROOTS was fabricated from whole cloth by Haley (or outright plagiarized by Haley from "The African") it certainly belongs with the rest of the history channel/Discover channel etc's "wild fiction disguised as history" slate of shows.


Dont get me wrong -- great miniseries, very emotional, groundbreaking stuff. I watched it as a kid in the 70s and was one those things that gave me the passion for history I have today.

It also made doing genealogy explode in the mainstream, now omnipresent with the creation of the internet making genealogy data available to the masses. It's also a whole side of history basically ignored in public media.

But really sloppy genealogical research and outright plagiarism certainly taint the book.
 
2013-11-05 10:41:07 PM
Stop using buzzwords incorrectly. You reboot a franchise, you remake a film. Batman Begins was not a remake of Burtons Batman, but it was a reboot of the Batman franchise. Amazing Spider-man was not a remake of Ramis Spider-man, it was a reboot of the franchise. Oceans 11 was a remake. Wicker Man was a remake.

/the 2009 star trek movie is where it gets kinda confusing...
 
2013-11-05 11:19:50 PM

Cyno01: Stop using buzzwords incorrectly. You reboot a franchise, you remake a film. Batman Begins was not a remake of Burtons Batman, but it was a reboot of the Batman franchise. Amazing Spider-man was not a remake of Ramis Spider-man, it was a reboot of the franchise. Oceans 11 was a remake. Wicker Man was a remake.

/the 2009 star trek movie is where it gets kinda confusing...


Roots was a series. A mini-series, true, but still a series. That could leave some grey area.
 
2013-11-05 11:26:21 PM

untaken_name: Cyno01: Stop using buzzwords incorrectly. You reboot a franchise, you remake a film. Batman Begins was not a remake of Burtons Batman, but it was a reboot of the Batman franchise. Amazing Spider-man was not a remake of Ramis Spider-man, it was a reboot of the franchise. Oceans 11 was a remake. Wicker Man was a remake.

/the 2009 star trek movie is where it gets kinda confusing...

Roots was a series. A mini-series, true, but still a series. That could leave some grey area.


The article doesnt say "reboot" anywhere, just Subby trying to sound hip.
 
2013-11-05 11:36:19 PM

Steve Zodiac: The Aliens were Ice Road Truckers.


heheh...and we are done here. in one. nice.
 
2013-11-05 11:59:52 PM

Kygz: 16 year old colored girl, suitable for housework?
[networthq.com image 760x1024] I can do like $5


I know a guy who knows everything there is to know about chattel labor.  You mind if I give him a call?
 
2013-11-06 12:02:57 AM

Metaluna Mutant: Given how much of ROOTS was fabricated from whole cloth by Haley (or outright plagiarized by Haley from "The African") it certainly belongs with the rest of the history channel/Discover channel etc's "wild fiction disguised as history" slate of shows.


Dont get me wrong -- great miniseries, very emotional, groundbreaking stuff. I watched it as a kid in the 70s and was one those things that gave me the passion for history I have today.

It also made doing genealogy explode in the mainstream, now omnipresent with the creation of the internet making genealogy data available to the masses. It's also a whole side of history basically ignored in public media.

But really sloppy genealogical research and outright plagiarism certainly taint the book.


If "Roots" had been simply subtitled "Historical Fiction" or "A Novel"--none of your complaints would apply, and the bolded area would be the most important thing it ever did. "Roots" pulled the whitewash, so to speak, off of history, and genuinely forced America to realize that "de plantation" wasn't all fried chicken and watermelon and Stephen Foster songs.

The history is good enough and the anthropological research, had it been done for a historical nonfiction novel, would have been groundbreaking enough for its time. It's too bad that to break through into the mainstream, there had to be MORE than just meticulous attention to detail--it had to be "personal" at that time in history.
 
2013-11-06 12:05:40 AM

Gyrfalcon: If "Roots" had been simply subtitled "Historical Fiction" or "A Novel"--none of your complaints would apply, and the bolded area would be the most important thing it ever did.


Not necessarily. Alex Haley deliberately used the claim of historical truth to sell the book and the mini-series. If he hadn't claimed that it was a true story, it may not have ever made it to market and thus would not have done anything at all.
 
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