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(Washington Post)   And it came to pass that He was in Jerusalem at the time of the feast, and he did say "I'm tired of these motherfarkin' money changers in this motherfarkin' temple," and verily did he get medieval on their asses   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 75
    More: Interesting, money changers, Jerusalem, Christianity, social progress, believers  
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5755 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Nov 2013 at 11:22 AM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-05 11:26:34 AM  
That's a man, baby

forum.fiverr.com
 
2013-11-05 11:26:40 AM  
Hey, looks like hip preachers are back in fashion.

archives.sspx.org

/and the radical priest came to get me released
 
2013-11-05 11:28:10 AM  
To Bolz-Weber's bafflement, this is now her congregation: mainstream America. These are the people who put her memoir near the top of the New York Times bestseller list the week it came out in September.

They are the ones who follow her every tweet and Facebook post by the thousands, and who have made the Lutheran minister a budding star for the liberal Christian set.

And who, as Bolz-Weber has described it in her frequently profane dialect, "are [mess]ing up my weird."


Okay, that is a sure sign you're trying too hard.
 
2013-11-05 11:28:37 AM  
And Supply Side Jebus did say: See these money changers? They are providing jobs and opportunities for the community. Look upon Leo the Sheckle Changer. He can hire a maid for his house and a special tutor for his son. That's real world results!

media.steampowered.com
 
2013-11-05 11:28:54 AM  
* yawn *
 
2013-11-05 11:28:54 AM  
And St. Attila raised his hand grenade up on high saying "O Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. " And the Lord did grin and people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...

mzonline.com
 
2013-11-05 11:30:26 AM  
the Rothschild satanic family cartel is the equivalent of the money changers of the Lord's day!
 
2013-11-05 11:32:44 AM  
Gadar pegged at Red Line 500 here, boys.
 
2013-11-05 11:34:26 AM  

Vectron: * yawn *

 
2013-11-05 11:35:26 AM  
Who's awesome??

YOU'RE AWESOME Nadia Bolz-Weber!1!!

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-11-05 11:36:29 AM  
She waves a gift certificate for a free tattoo

So she's not really in to Leviticus?
Leviticus/19-28
'You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves

Oh wait. I guess it's okay if someone else does the ink work

Ah, wait. here is the New Living Translation:
"Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the LORD."

Aw Geez, International Standard Version, why can't you be like the other guys?
"You are not to make incisions in your flesh on account of the dead nor submit to cuts or tattoos. I am the LORD"

GOD'S WORD® Translation. Boom. There it is:
Never slash your body to mourn the dead, and never get a tattoo. I am the LORD.

Oh crap, American King James Version:
You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks on you: I am the LORD.

Well, looks like I'm going to Heck 'cause I went to that bar when I was 21 and the guy stamped my hand. Well, might as well get my additional sinning on.
 
2013-11-05 11:39:58 AM  
Jesus Farking Christ.
 
2013-11-05 11:40:00 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: She waves a gift certificate for a free tattoo

So she's not really in to Leviticus?
Leviticus/19-28
'You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves

Oh wait. I guess it's okay if someone else does the ink work

Ah, wait. here is the New Living Translation:
"Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the LORD."

Aw Geez, International Standard Version, why can't you be like the other guys?
"You are not to make incisions in your flesh on account of the dead nor submit to cuts or tattoos. I am the LORD"

GOD'S WORD® Translation. Boom. There it is:
Never slash your body to mourn the dead, and never get a tattoo. I am the LORD.

Oh crap, American King James Version:
You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks on you: I am the LORD.

Well, looks like I'm going to Heck 'cause I went to that bar when I was 21 and the guy stamped my hand. Well, might as well get my additional sinning on.


You're obviously not a fan of God's new covenant contained in the New Testament.  F*cker.
 
2013-11-05 11:42:01 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: She waves a gift certificate for a free tattoo

So she's not really in to Leviticus?
Leviticus/19-28
'You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves

Oh wait. I guess it's okay if someone else does the ink work

Ah, wait. here is the New Living Translation:
"Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the LORD."

Aw Geez, International Standard Version, why can't you be like the other guys?
"You are not to make incisions in your flesh on account of the dead nor submit to cuts or tattoos. I am the LORD"

GOD'S WORD® Translation. Boom. There it is:
Never slash your body to mourn the dead, and never get a tattoo. I am the LORD.

Oh crap, American King James Version:
You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks on you: I am the LORD.

Well, looks like I'm going to Heck 'cause I went to that bar when I was 21 and the guy stamped my hand. Well, might as well get my additional sinning on.


I'm getting the impression everyone just ignores Leviticus because otherwise they'd barely have permission to breathe.
 
2013-11-05 11:44:01 AM  

Fluid: Harry Freakstorm: She waves a gift certificate for a free tattoo

So she's not really in to Leviticus?
Leviticus/19-28
'You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves

Oh wait. I guess it's okay if someone else does the ink work

Ah, wait. here is the New Living Translation:
"Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the LORD."

Aw Geez, International Standard Version, why can't you be like the other guys?
"You are not to make incisions in your flesh on account of the dead nor submit to cuts or tattoos. I am the LORD"

GOD'S WORD® Translation. Boom. There it is:
Never slash your body to mourn the dead, and never get a tattoo. I am the LORD.

Oh crap, American King James Version:
You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks on you: I am the LORD.

Well, looks like I'm going to Heck 'cause I went to that bar when I was 21 and the guy stamped my hand. Well, might as well get my additional sinning on.

I'm getting the impression everyone just ignores Leviticus because otherwise they'd barely have permission to breathe.


Naw, brah, those rules were for the Jews.  Jesus came so that the gentiles might be saved.  Gentiles don't give a f*ck about Jew rules.
 
2013-11-05 11:46:10 AM  
An interesting mish-mash of eras in the headline, submitter.
 
2013-11-05 11:48:11 AM  
www.anotherdamnblog.com
 
2013-11-05 11:54:23 AM  
Hipster Clergy, what will they think of next?
 
2013-11-05 11:54:42 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: She waves a gift certificate for a free tattoo

So she's not really in to Leviticus?
Leviticus/19-28
'You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves

Oh wait. I guess it's okay if someone else does the ink work

Ah, wait. here is the New Living Translation:
"Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the LORD."

Aw Geez, International Standard Version, why can't you be like the other guys?
"You are not to make incisions in your flesh on account of the dead nor submit to cuts or tattoos. I am the LORD"

GOD'S WORD® Translation. Boom. There it is:
Never slash your body to mourn the dead, and never get a tattoo. I am the LORD.

Oh crap, American King James Version:
You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks on you: I am the LORD.

Well, looks like I'm going to Heck 'cause I went to that bar when I was 21 and the guy stamped my hand. Well, might as well get my additional sinning on.


Since AD 50 or so, Leviticus and other rules for Jews do not apply to non-Jewish(the tribe, not the religion) Christians.

The fact that so many (evangelical) Christians in America follow it is irrelevant and part of the greater heresy that has consumed them.
 
2013-11-05 11:56:48 AM  
cdn.motinetwork.net
 
2013-11-05 11:57:12 AM  
Hipster Jesus frowns on these shenanigans .
 
2013-11-05 12:01:17 PM  
I don't care if you wrap it in an Ed Hardy t-shirt, it's still the same silly mythology.

Get a brain, Morans.
 
2013-11-05 12:06:59 PM  
am I the only one hearing the Indigo Girls 'Closer to Fine'  in their head while reading that article?

I'm trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it's only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I'm crawling on your shore. 

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.
 
2013-11-05 12:08:46 PM  
This 'christianity' doesn't fit my 'lifestyle'... obviously we must change the definition of 'christianity'.
 
2013-11-05 12:09:47 PM  

maxis_mydog: Hipster Clergy, what will they think of next?


sithon: Hipster Jesus frowns on these shenanigans .


Let Lord Buckley tell you Cats about THE NAZZ!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0x5x8lyON8
 
2013-11-05 12:10:57 PM  
Amusingly there's two major factions in the Jewish community.   Those who believe that the Torah (including Leviticus) literally spells out the law (Karaites) where as the Rabbinical jews believe pretty highly in the intentional ambiguity of the scripture combined with "oral law."    (Don't even get me started on the kaballah).

A couple of other translations:

LIving Bible:   You shall not cut yourselves nor put tattoo marks upon yourselves in connection with funeral rites.   I am Jehovah your God.

The translation in Plaut (NJPS translation) says "You shall not make gashes in your flesh for the dead, or incise marks on yourselves:   I am the Eternal."   Plaut's commentary doesn't associate the tattoo with the "for the dead" part of the gashing.    These are just general items that were considered "heathen" that nice Jewish boys didn't do.

My favorite passage in Leviticus is however:

Do not make your daughter a prostitute.

or as Tom Lehrer put it:

Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice, unless you get a good percentage of her price.

(I don't believe any of this, I specialize in reading religious texts as Dr. House would say, to know what they are doing wrong).
 
2013-11-05 12:17:54 PM  
I like her style, but be careful. People hate heretics. nobody is hated more than this guiy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlYtlsduMUM
 
2013-11-05 12:24:16 PM  
"Forget what you've been told about the golden rule - God doesn't love you more if you do good things, or if you believe certain things. God, she argues, offers you grace regardless of who you are or what you do. "

That's, um... not actually what the Golden Rule says.
 
2013-11-05 12:24:50 PM  

OldManDownDRoad: Hey, looks like hip preachers are back in fashion.

[archives.sspx.org image 263x370]

/and the radical priest came to get me released


Were you all on the cover of Newsweek?
 
2013-11-05 12:35:44 PM  

meat0918: [www.anotherdamnblog.com image 635x480]


Is it any surprise the 'powers that be' back then wanted him dead?
 
2013-11-05 12:38:08 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: She waves a gift certificate for a free tattoo

So she's not really in to Leviticus?
Leviticus/19-28
'You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves

Oh wait. I guess it's okay if someone else does the ink work

Ah, wait. here is the New Living Translation:
"Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the LORD."

Aw Geez, International Standard Version, why can't you be like the other guys?
"You are not to make incisions in your flesh on account of the dead nor submit to cuts or tattoos. I am the LORD"

GOD'S WORD® Translation. Boom. There it is:
Never slash your body to mourn the dead, and never get a tattoo. I am the LORD.

Oh crap, American King James Version:
You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks on you: I am the LORD.

Well, looks like I'm going to Heck 'cause I went to that bar when I was 21 and the guy stamped my hand. Well, might as well get my additional sinning on.


Did you look in the Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915, International Edition version?
 
2013-11-05 12:40:40 PM  
Farce-Side: You're obviously not a fan of God's new covenant contained in the New Testament.

This^


F*cker.


Not this^
 
2013-11-05 12:53:12 PM  
Hey- I started a hip church where you can be yourself and not be judged. It's really cool and everyone is included like one big family. We are all god's children!

(lime passes and, as always, the mainstream catches on)

Hey- these suburbanites are ruining our church!1!1! OMG they are so normal and boring! Boo hoo.

She must be a real christian- she has the hypocrisy down pat.
 
2013-11-05 12:55:31 PM  
No, Jesus can't get "medieval" on their asses, cause, like, he was around 1200 years before that era. So there.Don't fark with his old man, tho. He badass fo sho.
 
2013-11-05 12:57:03 PM  
The farther away from the Bible shiat these guys go, the better. (I am still not falling for it, though).
 
2013-11-05 01:18:03 PM  

xanadian: meat0918: [www.anotherdamnblog.com image 635x480]

Is it any surprise the 'powers that be' back then wanted him dead?


Considering he was sent to Earth to die for our sins, um... No?
 
2013-11-05 01:19:33 PM  
You Christians need to make up your minds.

"Jesus said nothing about the gays."
"B-B-But leviticus!"
"Leviticus also bans tattoos, shellfish, and cheeseburgers."
"B-B-But New Covenant."

*sigh*

"You're interpreting the OT, a Jewish book, differently than it was originally intended."
"It's a holy book subject to the interpretation of the believer! It's not set in stone!"
"Look, that person interprets the Bible differently."
"Well they're wrong!"

*sigh*

/has had conversations like this several times on Fark
//not talking about the article
 
2013-11-05 01:29:17 PM  

grumpfuff: You Christians need to make up your minds.

"Jesus said nothing about the gays."
"B-B-But leviticus!"
"Leviticus also bans tattoos, shellfish, and cheeseburgers."
"B-B-But New Covenant."

*sigh*

"You're interpreting the OT, a Jewish book, differently than it was originally intended."
"It's a holy book subject to the interpretation of the believer! It's not set in stone!"
"Look, that person interprets the Bible differently."
"Well they're wrong!"

*sigh*

/has had conversations like this several times on Fark
//not talking about the article


Actually Christianity is the remnants of an apocalyptic cult that believed Jesus' death and resurrection would bring about the end of the world within their lifetimes, and when that didn't happen they had to try to make sense of the corner they painted themselves into.
 
2013-11-05 01:34:07 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Actually Christianity is the remnants of an apocalyptic cult that believed Jesus' death and resurrection would bring about the end of the world within their lifetimes, and when that didn't happen they had to try to make sense of the corner they painted themselves into.


Depends on who you ask.

See: "And none shall know the date or time" etc etc

/not defending them, and generally inclined to agree with you
 
2013-11-05 01:47:12 PM  
Oh I love Nadia.
I read her blog on Patheos.
I follow her on twitter.
And I will be going to see her tonight in DC with her book in my bag, hoping for an autograph.

All you folks commenting have no idea what you are talking about...

\because no one can evermake a turn for the better in their lives.
\ \ grace is not a substitute for the golden rule. Person writing the article is wrong.
\ \ \ Slashies!!!!!
 
2013-11-05 02:10:37 PM  
Leviticus was a set of laws to make the jews not backslide into the old pagan rites. Temple prostitution, Ritual Tattooing.. etc.
 
2013-11-05 02:13:00 PM  

grumpfuff: You Christians need to make up your minds.

"Jesus said nothing about the gays."
"B-B-But leviticus!"
"Leviticus also bans tattoos, shellfish, and cheeseburgers."
"B-B-But New Covenant."

*sigh*

"You're interpreting the OT, a Jewish book, differently than it was originally intended."
"It's a holy book subject to the interpretation of the believer! It's not set in stone!"
"Look, that person interprets the Bible differently."
"Well they're wrong!"

*sigh*

/has had conversations like this several times on Fark
//not talking about the article


Well, I'll grant that you have heard most of it, but you haven't heard this one....
 
2013-11-05 02:14:24 PM  

Scar4711: Leviticus was a set of laws to make the jews not backslide into the old pagan rites. Temple prostitution, Ritual Tattooing.. etc.


And they took it upon themselves when God offered it to them. He didn't make them follow those rules. They chose to follow them, to bind themselves.
 
2013-11-05 02:22:56 PM  

George Babbitt: grumpfuff: You Christians need to make up your minds.

"Jesus said nothing about the gays."
"B-B-But leviticus!"
"Leviticus also bans tattoos, shellfish, and cheeseburgers."
"B-B-But New Covenant."

*sigh*

"You're interpreting the OT, a Jewish book, differently than it was originally intended."
"It's a holy book subject to the interpretation of the believer! It's not set in stone!"
"Look, that person interprets the Bible differently."
"Well they're wrong!"

*sigh*

/has had conversations like this several times on Fark
//not talking about the article

Well, I'll grant that you have heard most of it, but you haven't heard this one....


Did Fark eat your link or did I miss another obvious joke?
 
2013-11-05 02:36:19 PM  

Farce-Side: Fluid: Harry Freakstorm: She waves a gift certificate for a free tattoo

So she's not really in to Leviticus?
Leviticus/19-28
'You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves

Oh wait. I guess it's okay if someone else does the ink work

Ah, wait. here is the New Living Translation:
"Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the LORD."

Aw Geez, International Standard Version, why can't you be like the other guys?
"You are not to make incisions in your flesh on account of the dead nor submit to cuts or tattoos. I am the LORD"

GOD'S WORD® Translation. Boom. There it is:
Never slash your body to mourn the dead, and never get a tattoo. I am the LORD.

Oh crap, American King James Version:
You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks on you: I am the LORD.

Well, looks like I'm going to Heck 'cause I went to that bar when I was 21 and the guy stamped my hand. Well, might as well get my additional sinning on.

I'm getting the impression everyone just ignores Leviticus because otherwise they'd barely have permission to breathe.

Naw, brah, those rules were for the Jews.  Jesus came so that the gentiles might be saved.  Gentiles don't give a f*ck about Jew rules.



Not according to Jesus in the bible. According to the fable of Jesus all the worst of the old testament is still in force 100%. In the bible when asked if he was sent here to get rid of the old Jewish laws this is how Jesus answered:
Matthew 5:17-19
17Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
18For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
19Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.


The problem is... At some point folks started to realize that if they kept allowing murder, rape and etc. in accordance with the old testament then christianity would end up starting to lose people as society advanced. So they started to ignore this passage and any others in which Jesus says that the old testament still applies.

If christians DON'T cherry pick from their religion then they'll be some truly horrible people as that horrid old piece of shiat book has tons of evil shiat in it and basically commands them to be the Taliban. For an infinitely "kind and loving" deity, the christian god really is a horrible farkstick.
 
2013-11-05 02:56:03 PM  
New covenant was made with the death of Jesus Christ.
That is what Christians believe.
Ahem, that is what I believe.

I will be happy to report back what i learn from Nadia.

95 is gonna suck going north.
 
2013-11-05 03:19:33 PM  

grumpfuff: Did Fark eat your link or did I miss another obvious joke?


No link :)
 
2013-11-05 03:23:59 PM  

mongbiohazard: So they started to ignore this passage and any others in which Jesus says that the old testament still applies.


Jesus did not think like Dr Manhattan, time is linear in the bible. Yes, he said everything remains in effect...until he signs the new covenant with his blood. Till the new deal is signed, the old deal is still active.
 
2013-11-05 03:26:25 PM  

silo123j: New covenant was made with the death of Jesus Christ.
That is what Christians believe.
Ahem, that is what I believe.



Sure... It's just not what Jesus says in the bible. Several times.

Matthew 5:17-19
Luke 16:17
John 10:35
etc....

So while it's common for christians to "believe" that there's a "new covenant" and the old testament no longer applies that's not what the bible itself is explict about saying. It just means christians are adept at inventing rationalizations to ignore the parts of the bible they find inconvenient rather than accepting that their system of worship is a flawed ancient creation of mankind.

Honestly, it would be wisest for christians to start printing their bibles as just the new testament and editing out the passages where Jesus refers to the old testament laws still being in force. Not that there aren't some evil things in the new testament too... I mean Jesus did tell the Pharises that if their children talk back they should murder them and also voiced support for slavery.
 
2013-11-05 03:27:33 PM  

George Babbitt: mongbiohazard: So they started to ignore this passage and any others in which Jesus says that the old testament still applies.

Jesus did not think like Dr Manhattan, time is linear in the bible. Yes, he said everything remains in effect...until he signs the new covenant with his blood. Till the new deal is signed, the old deal is still active.



Citation? Because I've already cited his words where he says just the opposite.
 
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