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(Independent)   You woke up this morning believing, as you have believed every morning, that you knew the first line of Beowulf. But you were wrong   (independent.co.uk) divider line 122
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11234 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Nov 2013 at 12:23 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



122 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-05 11:41:13 AM
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

No, wait.

Call me Beowulf.

No, hold on.

Grendel, light of my life, fire of my loins.

Damnit, no.

I am in an invisible king.

Hmm, closer I think.

Stately, plump King Hrothgar came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of mead on which a shield and a sword lay crossed.

Hell, that's right out. Oh, I know.

All this happened, more or less.

Screw it. Maybe I *have* forgotten.
 
2013-11-05 12:06:12 PM
Grendel's taste were kind of plainish.
Breakfast? No, maybe just a couple Danish.
 
2013-11-05 12:16:31 PM
static.wetpaint.me

That's hwæt.
 
2013-11-05 12:27:51 PM
WHAAA...?

www.hagardunor.net
 
2013-11-05 12:28:01 PM
It was a dumb movie anyway, who cares what the first line was
 
2013-11-05 12:28:22 PM
It was a dark and stormy night.
 
2013-11-05 12:28:58 PM
It was a dark and stormy night.
 
2013-11-05 12:29:40 PM
I always thought it meant, "hold my mead, watch this!"
 
2013-11-05 12:30:06 PM

LarryDan43: It was a dark and stormy night.


I thought I was so original.
 
2013-11-05 12:30:23 PM
That's the version of Teen Wolf starring Scott Baio, right?
 
2013-11-05 12:30:24 PM
It was a


dammit
 
2013-11-05 12:30:29 PM
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times...
 
2013-11-05 12:30:32 PM
I'm goin' with "once upon a time..."
 
2013-11-05 12:30:58 PM
People are always asking me if I know King Hrothgar
 
2013-11-05 12:31:07 PM

Pocket Ninja: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

No, wait.

Call me Beowulf.

No, hold on.

Grendel, light of my life, fire of my loins.

Damnit, no.

I am in an invisible king.

Hmm, closer I think.

Stately, plump King Hrothgar came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of mead on which a shield and a sword lay crossed.

Hell, that's right out. Oh, I know.

All this happened, more or less.

Screw it. Maybe I *have* forgotten.


No, it's "The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!"
 
2013-11-05 12:31:29 PM
This. Changes. Everything.

/maybe not
 
2013-11-05 12:32:26 PM

Professor Duck: It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times...


mcgarnagle.files.wordpress.com
You stupid monkeys!
 
2013-11-05 12:32:42 PM
How we hear those herald angels sing.
 
2013-11-05 12:33:53 PM
Arma virumquae...
 
2013-11-05 12:35:02 PM
Dr George Walkden leads a life of trivial pursuit.
 
2013-11-05 12:35:35 PM
hey, awesome article...

i'm ok with this.  i used to be a dick and just translate it as "what" but in a tone like, 'haters gonna hate', 'deal with it', or 'what of it'.
 
2013-11-05 12:37:12 PM
I'll take Things I didn't care about when I was 15 and things I care less about now, Alex.  Stupid thousand year old fanfic.
 
2013-11-05 12:38:28 PM
I a world, where...
 
2013-11-05 12:38:35 PM
Alright, all of you Farkers who over-goddamn-use the word "epic," - here you go.  Here's your chance.  This news is epic.  After today, STHU!
 
2013-11-05 12:39:27 PM
I know..is it:

"it was a dark and stormy night ?"
 
2013-11-05 12:39:56 PM
Whan that aprill with his shoures soote ...
 
2013-11-05 12:40:07 PM

Sybarite: [static.wetpaint.me image 522x450]

That's hwæt.


Lol hwæt
 
2013-11-05 12:40:29 PM
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away
 
2013-11-05 12:40:35 PM
Listen: Beowulf Pilgrim has come unstuck in time.
 
2013-11-05 12:40:39 PM
The night was wet... and hot... hot and wet, wet and hot; that's humid!  The night was humid.

24.media.tumblr.com

/classdismissed
 
2013-11-05 12:40:55 PM
thats hæwt
 
2013-11-05 12:41:34 PM
Hrothgar was dead: to begin with.
 
2013-11-05 12:41:40 PM
bastard !
 
2013-11-05 12:42:10 PM
"hwæt" (rhymes with cat)

So 'hat' then? Just because its on the internet does it need to bring cats into it?
 
2013-11-05 12:42:35 PM
i1080.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-05 12:42:44 PM
the sea was angry that day my friend, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.
 
2013-11-05 12:44:21 PM
"Hwæt! We Gar-Dena in gear-dagum, þeod-cyninga,  þrym gefrunon, hu ða æþelingas  ellen fremedon!"

www.upwardonward.com
 
2013-11-05 12:46:16 PM
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small, unregarded yellow sun named Beowulf.

/classic
 
2013-11-05 12:46:40 PM
"hwæooorrrrnskimontyvendit" (rhymes with cat)
 
2013-11-05 12:48:06 PM
www.themoviegourmet.com

The night was sultry.
 
2013-11-05 12:48:48 PM
It was a dark and stormy knight
 
2013-11-05 12:49:14 PM

Aeronut: The night was wet... and hot... hot and wet, wet and hot; that's humid!  The night was humid.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 450x250]

/classdismissed


www.millionaireplayboy.com

"The night was sultry."

/oooowwwweeeeeeeeeennnnn!!!
 
2013-11-05 12:49:32 PM
The sky was the color of a television, tuned to a dead channel.
 
2013-11-05 12:50:41 PM
HWAET!

www.afrolyrix.com
 
2013-11-05 12:50:41 PM
Gallia est omnia divisa in partes tres?
 
2013-11-05 12:51:13 PM
I studied Beowulf in Brit Lit class when I was in high school 30 years ago. I thought it was ridiculous and stupid. Turns out, nothing's changed.
 
2013-11-05 12:52:29 PM
You telling me that the first sentence of Beowulf is not

I sing of arms and the man ....

Live and learn, I guess.
 
2013-11-05 12:54:09 PM
Everybody knows that the first line of the greatest epic ever told begins:

Come and listen to my story of a man named Jed ....
 
2013-11-05 12:55:35 PM
Its fascinating to compare Beowulf to the contemporaneous Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam as it well highlights the contrasts between post Roman Europe and the middle east.

Lo! the Spear-Danes' glory through splendid achievements
The folk-kings' former fame we have heard of,
How princes displayed then their prowess-in-battle.

vs

I need a jug of wine and a book of poetry,
Half a loaf for a bite to eat,
Then you and I, seated in a deserted spot,
Will have more wealth than a Sultan's realm.
 
2013-11-05 12:55:47 PM

offmymeds: Aeronut: The night was wet... and hot... hot and wet, wet and hot; that's humid!  The night was humid.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 450x250]

/classdismissed

[www.millionaireplayboy.com image 400x248]

"The night was sultry."

/oooowwwweeeeeeeeeennnnn!!!


We even picked the same image. Great minds? (You're screwed!)
 
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