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(Slate)   My six-year-old had a bathroom accident at school. Should I assume that someone is sexually abusing him?   (slate.com) divider line 125
    More: Stupid, bathroom accident, Emily Yoffe, sex crimes, accidents, bathrooms  
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9079 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Nov 2013 at 12:43 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-05 08:04:35 AM
I have known several children who became so involved in play that they didn't realize they needed to pee until it was too late.
 
2013-11-05 08:11:19 AM
Yes. Your kid is getting buttfarked at school because of a bathroom accident.

It is a Catholic school, right?
 
2013-11-05 08:39:18 AM
A child suddenly having incontinence issues can indeed be a sign of asexual abuse. I don't know that it's the most likely explanation, but the mother's instinct to get to the root cause is a good one.
 
2013-11-05 08:50:42 AM
Look, let me take the pressure off - it doesn't take a whiz to see that he is just looking out for "number one".  I'm sure will make a big splash very soon.
 
2013-11-05 09:04:14 AM

BizarreMan: I have known several children who became so involved in play that they didn't realize they needed to pee until it was too late.


My daughter has done this a couple times.
 
2013-11-05 11:31:12 AM

Shostie: BizarreMan: I have known several children who became so involved in play that they didn't realize they needed to pee until it was too late.

My daughter has done this a couple times.


Someone call CPS on this sick f*ck
 
2013-11-05 11:32:04 AM
Shiate like this makes me glad i don't have kids.
 
2013-11-05 11:39:04 AM
Yes, yes you should. Keep in mind most sexual abuse is committed by a close family member, possibly you mom.
 
2013-11-05 11:49:58 AM
No comments about the husband who is now sleeping at his mothers house since his father died?  Possibly in his mothers double bed?

/wonders if his name is Norman.
 
2013-11-05 11:55:37 AM

kxs401: A child suddenly having incontinence issues can indeed be a sign of asexual abuse. I don't know that it's the most likely explanation, but the mother's instinct to get to the root cause is a good one.


I do not have children, so I cannot speak to this.  But as an outsider, this seems like a huge stretch.  Like, getting a flat tire then suddenly being paranoid that the government is spying on you and likes checking your ass from afar out while you change the tire.  I just do not see the logical connection.
 
2013-11-05 12:08:06 PM

Endive Wombat: But as an outsider, this seems like a huge stretch.  Like, getting a flat tire then suddenly being paranoid that the government is spying on you and likes checking your ass from afar out while you change the tire.  I just do not see the logical connection.



It's not about whether you're suddenly being paranoid that the government is spying on you and likes checking your ass from afar out while while you change the tire. It's whether you're suddenly being paranoid that the government is spying on you and likes checking your ass from afar out while while you change the tire enough.
 
2013-11-05 12:12:01 PM
The one below that is infinitely worse:

We live within a five-minute driving distance to my MIL. This has never caused an issue, until my FIL passed away unexpectedly some time ago. Since then, my husband has started sleeping at his mother's place. She lives in a small studio apartment with one double bed so I'm guessing they both sleep on the same bed, too. He comes over to our place to collect his clothes. Whenever I try talking to him, he says he doesn't like the arrangement either, but I'm far too individualistic and selfish.

Ummm...how do I tell you this?
 
2013-11-05 12:19:13 PM
Endive Wombat:  I just do not see the logical connection.

One of the possible signs of child sexual abuse is sudden incontinence.
 
2013-11-05 12:30:55 PM

kxs401: Endive Wombat:  I just do not see the logical connection.

One of the possible signs of child sexual abuse is sudden incontinence.


I did not know that.

Let me ask you this:  What is the most common reason for sudden incontinence in potty trained children?  Is it sexual abuse or is it something more benign?
 
2013-11-05 12:37:17 PM

Endive Wombat: kxs401: Endive Wombat:  I just do not see the logical connection.

One of the possible signs of child sexual abuse is sudden incontinence.

I did not know that.

Let me ask you this:  What is the most common reason for sudden incontinence in potty trained children?  Is it sexual abuse or is it something more benign?


Oh, I have no idea. I'm a rape crisis counselor, not a child development expert. But as I indicated in my original post, I do not think it's the most likely explanation, just a possible one.
 
2013-11-05 12:47:35 PM

kxs401: A child suddenly having incontinence issues can indeed be a sign of asexual abuse. I don't know that it's the most likely explanation, but the mother's instinct to get to the root cause is a good one.


No it's not.
 
2013-11-05 12:47:43 PM
Have a talk with the teacher. Politely ask her to freely let the kids whiz on their schedule. And then give her a potted plant and whisper, "I told my son to water the plant if you don't let him pee when he needs to".
 
2013-11-05 12:48:06 PM

oh_please: The one below that is infinitely worse:

We live within a five-minute driving distance to my MIL. This has never caused an issue, until my FIL passed away unexpectedly some time ago. Since then, my husband has started sleeping at his mother's place. She lives in a small studio apartment with one double bed so I'm guessing they both sleep on the same bed, too. He comes over to our place to collect his clothes. Whenever I try talking to him, he says he doesn't like the arrangement either, but I'm far too individualistic and selfish.

Ummm...how do I tell you this?


I think that motherfarker isn't being entirely honest.
 
2013-11-05 12:48:15 PM
Can eliminate persons that write to Dear Prudence (for reasons other than comedy) from the gene pool.  I scanned some of the other letters and think it would be for the best/
 
2013-11-05 12:48:52 PM
Yes
 
2013-11-05 12:52:50 PM
My 2 1/2 year old has learned that if he has to potty, and nearby patch of grass is acceptable.

/of COURSE the zoo had a problem with this
//and IHOP
///and the preacher at church
IV the fascists
 
2013-11-05 12:52:57 PM

Endive Wombat: kxs401: Endive Wombat:  I just do not see the logical connection.

One of the possible signs of child sexual abuse is sudden incontinence.

I did not know that.

Let me ask you this:  What is the most common reason for sudden incontinence in potty trained children?  Is it sexual abuse or is it something more benign?


Growing.
 
2013-11-05 12:54:33 PM

kona: Yes


I actually agree. She should call the cops, randomly accuse people, contact the press, hire a few therapists to recover some lost memories and then sue sue sue. There would be fark headlines for years. .
 
2013-11-05 12:55:08 PM
Sounds like Satanic ritual abuse to me.
Have the entire staff arrested.
 
2013-11-05 12:56:16 PM

BizarreMan: I have known several children who became so involved in play that they didn't realize they needed to pee until it was too late.


I'll admit that when I was very young, I would sometimes get engrossed in Lego and forget to eat, drink, or use the bathroom.  Never had an accident from it, but came close plenty of times.
 
2013-11-05 12:57:39 PM
I knew someone in 2nd grade who was extremely shy, too shy to ask to go to the bathroom. We had a pizza party one day and then watched a movie and some time during the movie I heard the teacher whisper to him "Did you have an accident?". She led him out of the room and the floor was soaked, I think his parents came to pick him up. I don't know why I remember that but I always felt sorry for him, it must have been humiliating.
 
2013-11-05 12:58:16 PM

Satanic_Hamster: kxs401: A child suddenly having incontinence issues can indeed be a sign of asexual abuse. I don't know that it's the most likely explanation, but the mother's instinct to get to the root cause is a good one.

No it's not.


You think she shouldn't try to figure out why her kid is suddenly peeing himself regularly?
 
2013-11-05 12:58:20 PM
"Had an accident" and "suddenly developed a habit of having accidents that he didn't have before" are different things.  While jumping to abuse is jumping to conclusions, the latter's harder to write off as completely incidental.
 
2013-11-05 12:59:41 PM

Dafatone: "Had an accident" and "suddenly developed a habit of having accidents that he didn't have before" are different things.  While jumping to abuse is jumping to conclusions, the latter's harder to write off as completely incidental.


Yeah, surprise surprise, the headline is misleading. He didn't have ONE accident, he had several, at home and at school. The explanation is probably not sexual abuse, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't try to find out what's going on with him.
 
2013-11-05 01:00:06 PM
Statistically speaking, yeah, you probably can go ahead and assume this. Take the kid to numerous counselors until he can finally remember the 'truth', and your witch-hunt can really begin. Also, sometimes kids pee their pants, doesn't have to be a big deal, but you go ahead and run with this.
 
2013-11-05 01:01:38 PM
It's probably Satanists after his little puckerfish.
 
2013-11-05 01:02:53 PM

Dafatone: "Had an accident" and "suddenly developed a habit of having accidents that he didn't have before" are different things.  While jumping to abuse is jumping to conclusions, the latter's harder to write off as completely incidental.


This case was solved in the initial post.

BizarreMan: I have known several children who became so involved in play that they didn't realize they needed to pee until it was too late.

 
2013-11-05 01:04:03 PM
I think the kid found a way to get out of school and is using it too much.

//ex's son was like that
 
2013-11-05 01:04:17 PM
Every parent wants to believe their kid is attractive enough to be molested.

/forget what comic I stole that from
 
2013-11-05 01:04:44 PM
Wellthatescalatedquickly.jpg

Hoof beats aren't usually zebras blah blah.

Know your child, but don't scare the bejesus out of him just cuz he peed his pants. C'mon.
 
2013-11-05 01:05:06 PM

Hand Banana: I knew someone in 2nd grade who was extremely shy, too shy to ask to go to the bathroom. We had a pizza party one day and then watched a movie and some time during the movie I heard the teacher whisper to him "Did you have an accident?". She led him out of the room and the floor was soaked, I think his parents came to pick him up. I don't know why I remember that but I always felt sorry for him, it must have been humiliating.


Change that to a girl, and it was me.  I did that, was too scared to interrupt the teacher to ask to go, and when that part of the day was finally done, I couldn't stand up without peeing.  And that's what happened.  My mom had to come and get me.  The teacher and principal and secretary did everything they could to make me not be ashamed of it, but it was a couple of weeks before the teasing from all the other kids stopped.  But for the rest of the semester I didn't have to ask, I could just go, and the teacher moved my seat to the row nearest the door too.

/was an incredibly shy child


as for the letter, I really don't think jumping to OMG sexshul abuse should be the first step.
 
2013-11-05 01:06:01 PM
My son has an occasional accident, is he being kidnapped by Basque separatists for use in a bigfoot captive breeding program?
 
2013-11-05 01:06:06 PM

kxs401: A child suddenly having incontinence issues can indeed be a sign of asexual abuse. I don't know that it's the most likely explanation, but the mother's instinct to get to the root cause is a good one.


Given your other comments in this thread, I'm guessing you didn't mean to type 'asexual'?

/can you masturbate your way to incontinence?
 
2013-11-05 01:06:55 PM
BizarreMan:
I have known several children MMORPG players who became so involved in play that they didn't realize they needed to pee until it was too late.

FTFY

kxs401:
Oh, I have no idea. I'm a rape crisis counselor, not a child development expert. But as I indicated in my original post, I do not think it's the most likely explanation, just a possible one.

Yeah, it's good that the parent is at least aware of the possibility, but it does smack of looking up "hip pain" on WebMD and panicking because one of the possibilities is "osteosarcoma".
 
2013-11-05 01:08:06 PM

robbiex0r: Given your other comments in this thread, I'm guessing you didn't mean to type 'asexual'?


Sigh, yes. I didn't even catch that.
 
2013-11-05 01:08:34 PM

lennavan: Dafatone: "Had an accident" and "suddenly developed a habit of having accidents that he didn't have before" are different things.  While jumping to abuse is jumping to conclusions, the latter's harder to write off as completely incidental.

This case was solved in the initial post.

BizarreMan: I have known several children who became so involved in play that they didn't realize they needed to pee until it was too late.


And that explains why a kid, who hasn't had this problem in the past, suddenly has it all the time?
 
2013-11-05 01:09:22 PM

BizarreMan: I have known several children who became so involved in play that they didn't realize they needed to pee until it was too late.


I was that kid. Recess came and it was very important to get in as much fun as possible then the urge to go was stronger than the ability to get back inside to use the toilet. I know I had to go but didn't want to stop playing.

/age 7
//was not molested
 
2013-11-05 01:09:35 PM

Dafatone: lennavan: Dafatone: "Had an accident" and "suddenly developed a habit of having accidents that he didn't have before" are different things.  While jumping to abuse is jumping to conclusions, the latter's harder to write off as completely incidental.

This case was solved in the initial post.

BizarreMan: I have known several children who became so involved in play that they didn't realize they needed to pee until it was too late.

And that explains why a kid, who hasn't had this problem in the past, suddenly has it all the time?


Correct.
 
2013-11-05 01:10:11 PM

robbiex0r: kxs401: A child suddenly having incontinence issues can indeed be a sign of asexual abuse. I don't know that it's the most likely explanation, but the mother's instinct to get to the root cause is a good one.

Given your other comments in this thread, I'm guessing you didn't mean to type 'asexual'?

/can you masturbate your way to incontinence?


Yes, but you'd be doing it wrong.
 
2013-11-05 01:10:29 PM

Valiente: It's probably Satanists after his little puckerfish.


Yes. They were conducting Black Masses inside the school bathroom and called up demons to haunt the kid.

FTA: Q. Re: Bathrooms and young children: My son stopped using the bathroom at school (and refused to drink liquids) because the older kids convinced the little ones the boys' bathroom was haunted. So, yes, there are a lot of reasons he might not be going at school. (He could also have a urinary tract infection or something medical. So a visit to the doctor is the first stop!)

Sounds like Satan to me!

my2ndheartbeat.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-05 01:10:51 PM
Maybe.

But it's probably because you're a shiatty parent.
 
2013-11-05 01:11:19 PM
Keep in mind, the mom said it has become a sudden daily pattern, not a once or twice thing.  It included 3 times at home in one weekend, so using a public toilet didn;t seem to be the issue.  Prudie was right to suggest not going immediately to the worst scenario, but something is damn sure going on that wasn't before.

The husband sleeping with with his mom was a much more interesting read.
 
2013-11-05 01:11:41 PM
Let's review "base rate" again, shall we, people?
The rate for a kindergartener having an "accident" at school is between 4 and 19 percent for boys, with longitudinal studies suggesting that prevalence peaks between ages 5 and 7.

/Torch and pitchfork time, folks!
 
2013-11-05 01:12:21 PM

kxs401: Endive Wombat:  I just do not see the logical connection.

One of the possible signs of child sexual abuse is sudden incontinence.


So, my 72-year-old mother is now a victim of child abuse?
 
2013-11-05 01:14:22 PM

robbiex0r: kxs401: A child suddenly having incontinence issues can indeed be a sign of asexual abuse. I don't know that it's the most likely explanation, but the mother's instinct to get to the root cause is a good one.

Given your other comments in this thread, I'm guessing you didn't mean to type 'asexual'?

/can you masturbate your way to incontinence?


Yes.  Don't ask.
 
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