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(Kinston Free Press)   N.C. company's current medical plan includes bottle of store-brand aspirin and Scooby Doo Band Aids   (kinston.com) divider line 28
    More: Dumbass, Affordable Care Act, North Carolina, Michael Palin, aspirin, Graham Chapman  
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1266 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Nov 2013 at 10:06 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-05 08:17:39 AM
"You won't hear this on the TV, but did you know that according to the Affordable Care Act, I have to allow each of my employees to take a 30-minute nap after lunch?" said Graham Chapman, owner/operator of Ramrod Equipment Rental in Snow Hill.

Fark you, you piece of shiat.  You're spitting out b.s. that you heard from a friend who read it off a chain email, and you didn't bother to do one damn bit of research.  And I'll bet that's how you came to your voting decisions as well.  You and the mouth-breathers have done real damage to this state, and it's going to take us years to crawl out from under it.

/But I guess if he weren't a dipshiat, he'd have found a way to run a business somewhere other than Termite Mound
 
2013-11-05 08:26:28 AM

UNC_Samurai: "You won't hear this on the TV, but did you know that according to the Affordable Care Act, I have to allow each of my employees to take a 30-minute nap after lunch?" said Graham Chapman, owner/operator of Ramrod Equipment Rental in Snow Hill.

Fark you, you piece of shiat.  You're spitting out b.s. that you heard from a friend who read it off a chain email, and you didn't bother to do one damn bit of research.  And I'll bet that's how you came to your voting decisions as well.  You and the mouth-breathers have done real damage to this state, and it's going to take us years to crawl out from under it.

/But I guess if he weren't a dipshiat, he'd have found a way to run a business somewhere other than Termite Mound


LOL

Comedy gold.
 
2013-11-05 10:08:56 AM
Who keeps submitting Jon Dawson articles, really?  It is time to stop.  He isn't funny.
 
2013-11-05 10:10:59 AM
you won't hear this on the TV but did you know that according to obamacare i have to give every female and homosexual applicant a pelvic exam before hiring them
 
2013-11-05 10:13:47 AM
Fark has been Onioned.
 
2013-11-05 10:13:54 AM
You won't hear this on the T.V., but did you know that according to the Affordable Care Act, I have to touch myself while laying splayed open across a plush Afghan rug?
 
2013-11-05 10:14:27 AM

UNC_Samurai: "You won't hear this on the TV, but did you know that according to the Affordable Care Act, I have to allow each of my employees to take a 30-minute nap after lunch?" said Graham Chapman, owner/operator of Ramrod Equipment Rental in Snow Hill.


The ACA is full of compromises.  Yes you have to let your employees take a nap but as a job creator you can submit the names of less productive employees to the death panels.  Having Bob euthanized when he gets a tickle in his throat saves more than the naps cost, win/win.
 
2013-11-05 10:15:07 AM
"You won't hear this on the TV, but did you know that according to the Affordable Care Act, I have to allow each of my employees to take a 30-minute nap after lunch? I am a lying sack of shiat." said Graham Chapman, owner/operator of Ramrod Equipment Rental in Snow Hill.

Article fixed.
 
2013-11-05 10:16:04 AM

UNC_Samurai: "You won't hear this on the TV, but did you know that according to the Affordable Care Act, I have to allow each of my employees to take a 30-minute nap after lunch?" said Graham Chapman, owner/operator of Ramrod Equipment Rental in Snow Hill.

Fark you, you piece of shiat.  You're spitting out b.s. that you heard from a friend who read it off a chain email, and you didn't bother to do one damn bit of research.  And I'll bet that's how you came to your voting decisions as well.  You and the mouth-breathers have done real damage to this state, and it's going to take us years to crawl out from under it.

/But I guess if he weren't a dipshiat, he'd have found a way to run a business somewhere other than Termite Mound


So all of the quoted sources happening by chance to share names with members of Monty Python didn't quite tip you off that the article was less than completely factual?
 
2013-11-05 10:17:07 AM
Looks like satire. Move along.
 
2013-11-05 10:17:30 AM
This link sorely needs a satire tag.
 
2013-11-05 10:17:55 AM
My satire detector went off a few times while reading that. Its a shame my humor detector didn't go off at all...well except at rhe names. That made me smile.
 
2013-11-05 10:18:50 AM

Gordon Bennett: UNC_Samurai: "You won't hear this on the TV, but did you know that according to the Affordable Care Act, I have to allow each of my employees to take a 30-minute nap after lunch?" said Graham Chapman, owner/operator of Ramrod Equipment Rental in Snow Hill.

Fark you, you piece of shiat.  You're spitting out b.s. that you heard from a friend who read it off a chain email, and you didn't bother to do one damn bit of research.  And I'll bet that's how you came to your voting decisions as well.  You and the mouth-breathers have done real damage to this state, and it's going to take us years to crawl out from under it.

/But I guess if he weren't a dipshiat, he'd have found a way to run a business somewhere other than Termite Mound

So all of the quoted sources happening by chance to share names with members of Monty Python didn't quite tip you off that the article was less than completely factual?


it was somewhat fogged by the Tea Party's insistence on treating Poe's Law as a daily challenge.
 
2013-11-05 10:20:18 AM
For the last time: Quit linking The Borowitz Report

Wait... This is real?
 
2013-11-05 10:22:01 AM

Gaddiel: My satire detector went off a few times while reading that. Its a shame my humor detector didn't go off at all...well except at rhe names. That made me smile.


*the names

Damn it. This is why I should preview.

But for anyone who missed it, look at the name of the people interviewed.

/it may just monty your python
 
2013-11-05 10:22:55 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-11-05 10:33:23 AM
Ruh-roh!
 
2013-11-05 10:38:12 AM
I don't get paid in bubblegum :(
 
2013-11-05 10:47:41 AM

bonkmeist: Who keeps submitting Jon Dawson articles, really?  It is time to stop.  He isn't funny.


Answered your own question.
 
2013-11-05 10:52:14 AM

Gordon Bennett: UNC_Samurai: "You won't hear this on the TV, but did you know that according to the Affordable Care Act, I have to allow each of my employees to take a 30-minute nap after lunch?" said Graham Chapman, owner/operator of Ramrod Equipment Rental in Snow Hill.

Fark you, you piece of shiat.  You're spitting out b.s. that you heard from a friend who read it off a chain email, and you didn't bother to do one damn bit of research.  And I'll bet that's how you came to your voting decisions as well.  You and the mouth-breathers have done real damage to this state, and it's going to take us years to crawl out from under it.

/But I guess if he weren't a dipshiat, he'd have found a way to run a business somewhere other than Termite Mound

So all of the quoted sources happening by chance to share names with members of Monty Python didn't quite tip you off that the article was less than completely factual?


Poe's Law.
 
2013-11-05 11:25:20 AM
Mother, I am disappoint
 
2013-11-05 11:29:33 AM
Okay, I'll fess up, I got torched. I'm used to Dawson vomiting all over sports topics; I didn't realize he'd branched out.

Someone pass the sweet tea, I've got a sizable slice of humble pie to wash down.
 
2013-11-05 11:35:29 AM

Uranus Is Huge!: For the last time: Quit linking The Borowitz Report

Wait... This is real?


No, it's satire. It's just bad satire
 
2013-11-05 12:09:44 PM
They should throw in a bible and note to pray to make the package complete
 
2013-11-05 01:42:10 PM

Gaddiel: My satire detector went off a few times while reading that. Its a shame my humor detector didn't go off at all...well except at rhe names. That made me smile.


I didn't catch it until Graham Chapman, then I had a chuckle.
 
2013-11-05 02:12:06 PM
You won't hear this on the T.V., but did you know that according to the Affordable Care Act, you have to pray to Mecca 5 times a day.
 
2013-11-05 02:32:18 PM
Was this article supposed to be funny?  Was it intended to be some sort of absurdist satire?  I see words and sentences and paragraphs, yet at no point did it actually manage to communicate anything to me.
 
2013-11-06 02:25:55 AM
Well, that's 3 minutes of my life I'll never get back.  I should sue this guy for writing stupid shiat.
 
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