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(Little Green Footballs)   Ted Cruz's mentor of 42 years believes evolution is a Communist lie   (littlegreenfootballs.com) divider line 189
    More: Asinine, mentors, evolution  
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3464 clicks; posted to Politics » on 04 Nov 2013 at 5:24 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



189 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-04 05:04:12 PM
Ain't no man gonna tell me I come from no damn ape.
 
2013-11-04 05:08:40 PM
I can't wait to watch the same people who screamed for months about Jeremiah Wright try to claim that Ted Cruz's pops' opinions have NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH TED AND IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE YOUR (sic) A RACIST.
 
2013-11-04 05:10:20 PM
Also, from the LGF comments:
img.fark.net

Hah!
 
2013-11-04 05:12:47 PM
Do @tedcruz and @SenRandPaul have some kind of contest going for craziest father son team in politics? #tcot #uniteblue #gop

- Kragar (@Kragar_LGF) November 4, 2013

Okay, I'm done.
 
2013-11-04 05:13:58 PM
On behalf of Texas, I send my sincere regrets and apologies for sending Ted Cruz to the Capitol.
 
2013-11-04 05:14:21 PM
Science is of the devil!
 
2013-11-04 05:14:25 PM
I've met so many Christians that tell me 'evolution is a scientific fact.' Baloney! I am a scientist, there is nothing scientific about evolution.

Not that I expect this loony to back up his senile ravings with facts, but I'd like to know what vault all of the rock-solid, peer-reviewed, evolution-debunking papers he's authored are locked in.
 
2013-11-04 05:20:29 PM
FTFA: Baloney! I am a scientist, there is nothing scientific about evolution.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-04 05:23:10 PM
Thats a most convoluted argument

Thats something I'd expect Homer Simpson to say, not a real farking person.
 
2013-11-04 05:25:58 PM

Somacandra: FTFA: Baloney! I am a scientist, there is nothing scientific about evolution.

[i.imgur.com image 769x595]


He's an oil an gas engineer or something, which is more along the lines of "scientician".

It would be me announcing in a medical emergency, "stand back, I'm a doctor!" because I have a J.D.
 
2013-11-04 05:28:30 PM
wing-nut-man
 
2013-11-04 05:28:58 PM
So Cruz's father is his own Rev. Jeremiah Wright?
 
2013-11-04 05:29:22 PM
How soon until Ted accuses the liberal press of misquoting his father?
 
2013-11-04 05:29:45 PM

assets.nydailynews.com


hey Ted, we should talk

 
2013-11-04 05:30:02 PM

exick: I've met so many Christians that tell me 'evolution is a scientific fact.' Baloney! I am a scientist, there is nothing scientific about evolution.

Not that I expect this loony to back up his senile ravings with facts, but I'd like to know what vault all of the rock-solid, peer-reviewed, evolution-debunking papers he's authored are locked in.


I'm betting it's the same one that contains Michelle's "Whitey" tape.
 
2013-11-04 05:30:23 PM
Darwin and Marx also plotted together in their time to have fantastic beards. Those bearded bastards.
 
2013-11-04 05:31:53 PM
Under a Capitalist System, Man exploits Man.
under a Communist one, it's just the opposite.



--renowned American Economist John Kenneth Galbraith.
 
2013-11-04 05:32:23 PM
And the US proudly continues its decline and fall as the preeminent nation for science...

But hey, they stuck it to the libs.
 
2013-11-04 05:32:31 PM
When you hear all these things about homosexual marriage, this has nothing to do with homosexual rights. Did you know that? The whole objective is the destruction of the traditional family, it has nothing to do with homosexuals, they could care less about homosexuals, they want to destroy the family.

When Massachusetts became the first state to celebrate gay marriages, we were all so happy! Then we found out that our families were destroyed.

My state issued gay wife has forced me to wear sensible shoes and attend Tori Amos concerts with her, and I just want it to stop. I farking hate quinoa- it's not even real food.

If you care about your family, don't let this happen to you!
 
2013-11-04 05:33:53 PM

clancifer: On behalf of Texas, I send my sincere regrets and apologies for sending Ted Cruz to the Capitol.


He's crazy, but doesn't sit on any major committee's and hasn't really sought or passed any legislation, yet.

So you've got a long way to go before your apology get's there from Coborn and Inhofe, here in Okie land.
 
2013-11-04 05:34:31 PM

clancifer: On behalf of Texas, I send my sincere regrets and apologies for sending Ted Cruz to the Capitol.



lol.   well, everyone makes mistakes.  the key is how we deal with those mistakes and move on.
 
2013-11-04 05:35:07 PM
You know what other politician had mentors with kooky ideas?
 
2013-11-04 05:35:31 PM

vygramul: Science is of the devil!



F that.  Accounting is the Devil.    i'd rather have a root canal than have to take any more accounting classes.
 
2013-11-04 05:35:57 PM
Como si desis? "No shiate sherlock."

/apologize for my hooked on phonics version of spanish
 
2013-11-04 05:55:06 PM
No, LYSENKOISM is a Soviet lie.

For Jesus Jumping Buttered-Toast Christ. There were ACTUAL Soviet evolution-related dogma you could have picked from.
 
2013-11-04 05:57:26 PM

born_yesterday: And the US proudly continues its decline and fall as the preeminent nation for science...

But hey, they stuck it to the libs.


Some loudmouths yapping about their beliefs does not a scientific consensus make.
 
2013-11-04 05:57:52 PM
You know why communism failed Cruz family?

Evolution.
 
2013-11-04 05:58:02 PM
I love how these common clay Americans believe Communists lie & Capitalists don't.
 
2013-11-04 05:58:33 PM
But Reverend Wright!
 
2013-11-04 05:59:05 PM
Can we stop calling him Ted and call him Rafael?
 
2013-11-04 05:59:09 PM
Between Ted Cruz and his nutty father, Rand Paul's plagiarism and shooting Maddow, and the 2012 Election book destroying Christie....the 2016 GOP nomination season should be fantastic.
 
2013-11-04 05:59:51 PM
Rafael Cruz tells Rafael Cruz that the truth is lies and lies are like the great glory hole in the truck stop
 
2013-11-04 06:01:11 PM

foo monkey: Can we stop calling him Ted and call him Rafael?


Nah, we call people what they want to be called. Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Mitt Romney ... To do otherwise is only a tacky signal of disrespect, and just reflects poorly on you, not the target of your disrespect.
 
2013-11-04 06:01:18 PM

Isitoveryet: I love how these common clay Americans believe Communists lie & Capitalists don't.


American Capitalism became a religion a long time ago.

If you make more money, you are more blessed, and if you are able to be so blessed, you must not be a liar, because lying is a sin, and the blessed don't sin.

QED.
 
2013-11-04 06:01:37 PM
If in the year 2013 you do not believe in evolution, you should be beaten in the head with a brick until you do.  Simple as that.  Not believing in evolution falls in the same boat as thinking the Earth is flat.  Or that Barack Obama was born outside the U. S. and George W. Bush blew up the Twin Towers in a controlled demolition.  It's all batshiat yahooery of the highest order.
 
2013-11-04 06:01:40 PM
God damn.

America!
 
2013-11-04 06:03:56 PM
The fact that Ted Cruz's career is going to be torpedoed by his own father is so delicious, I want a second helping.
 
2013-11-04 06:04:47 PM

Coco LaFemme: If in the year 2013 you do not believe in evolution, you should be beaten in the head with a brick until you do.  Simple as that.  Not believing in evolution falls in the same boat as thinking the Earth is flat.  Or that Barack Obama was born outside the U. S. and George W. Bush blew up the Twin Towers in a controlled demolition.  It's all batshiat yahooery of the highest order.


We all know that the Saudis blew up the World Trade Centers. Geeeezzz

/And Cheney made about 40-80 Billion dollars on the whole invasion thingy, via his blackwater mercenaries.
 
2013-11-04 06:06:41 PM
Anytime someone claims evolution is not a fact or "scientific" I like them to explain what creationism has contributed to science in the last week/month/year/decade/century...

img708.imageshack.us
 
2013-11-04 06:07:41 PM
 
2013-11-04 06:09:23 PM
Tell me again, why is it we should take the word of one of Castro's guerillas?
 
2013-11-04 06:09:58 PM

clancifer: On behalf of Texas, I send my sincere regrets and apologies for sending Ted Cruz to the Capitol.


 In leiu of sending a Democrat to the Senate, self sabotaging the GOP from the inside the 2nd best thing we could have done.   At least we didn't send another under the radar powerbroker like Jon Cornyn.

Ted Cruz may be a nut, but he's entirely representative of millions of nutter's views.    I say, let all of America see the DERP I have to hear any day on any conservative talk radio.    Let those who have isolated themselves from the DERP experience it fully with both eyes wide open.   Maybe they'll think twice the next time they try to tell themselves some "bof sidez r teh same badz" false narrative.
 
2013-11-04 06:11:18 PM

Linux_Yes: vygramul: Science is of the devil!


F that.  Accounting is the Devil.    i'd rather have a root canal than have to take any more accounting classes.


When I was a software engineer, I had to work on an accounting system and got a close look at what government accounting was like. I think I'd rather be a Cthulhu researcher.
 
2013-11-04 06:13:19 PM

Elzar: Anytime someone claims evolution is not a fact or "scientific" I like them to explain what creationism has contributed to science in the last week/month/year/decade/century...

[img708.imageshack.us image 500x719]


The response, of course, is that all the beneficial, practical, contributions to science are those that adhere to a strict literal biblical interpretation. Distant starlight is due to either a change in the speed of light over time or the fact that God created distant starlight 'in transit' when the stars were created. Duh!
 
2013-11-04 06:15:35 PM

cman: Thats a most convoluted argument

Thats something I'd expect Homer Simpson to say, not a real farking person.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79YUknp1T7I
 
2013-11-04 06:16:52 PM

The RIchest Man in Babylon: I can't wait to watch the same people who screamed for months about Jeremiah Wright try to claim that Ted Cruz's pops' opinions have NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH TED AND IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE YOUR (sic) A RACIST.


First thing I thought of too...I'll bet that mentor's influence is about to SERIOUSLY come into doubt from the Right-Wing Media.
 
2013-11-04 06:19:11 PM
fim.413chan.net
 
2013-11-04 06:19:27 PM
Someone needs to photoshop his head on Abe Simpson's "Old man yells at Cloud" picture.

/no photoshop
// or mad PS skilz
 
2013-11-04 06:20:19 PM
I was going to quote this and comment, but... damn.  That is some weapons-grade stupid.  I don't even know where to begin.
 
2013-11-04 06:24:09 PM
As any intelligent person knows, we didn't evolve from monkeys, we just have the same common ancestor.
 
2013-11-04 06:24:48 PM
The old man is right. Evolution is used as a means to marginalize Christianity. Evolution is held up not for academic purposes, but to mock Christians. 'Take away the church and the people have only the government to worship' is the idea.

I think people that argue either way are simpletons, but the old man is right.
 
2013-11-04 06:27:19 PM

demaL-demaL-yeH: Tell me again, why is it we should take the word of one of Castro's guerillas?


And he was so stupid, he didn't realize Castro was a communist.
 
2013-11-04 06:29:13 PM

MJMaloney187: The old man is right. Evolution is used as a means to marginalize Christianity. Evolution is held up not for academic purposes, but to mock Christians. 'Take away the church and the people have only the government to worship' is the idea.

I think people that argue either way are simpletons, but the old man is right.


LOL NO.
 
2013-11-04 06:29:37 PM

theknuckler_33: Elzar: Anytime someone claims evolution is not a fact or "scientific" I like them to explain what creationism has contributed to science in the last week/month/year/decade/century...

[img708.imageshack.us image 500x719]

The response, of course, is that all the beneficial, practical, contributions to science are those that adhere to a strict literal biblical interpretation. Distant starlight is due to either a change in the speed of light over time or the fact that God created distant starlight 'in transit' when the stars were created. Duh!


Oddly enough, the term Lysenkoism has evolved to mean manipulating facts and studies to fit a predetermined conclusion. Today in the US, Lysenkoism thrives. It doesn't resemble michurinism (the actual Lysenko evolutionary theory) but is even less fact based.
 
2013-11-04 06:31:42 PM

gilgigamesh: He's an oil an gas engineer or something, which is more along the lines of "scientician".


I had to deal with a geologist as an expert witness who was a young earther. Super intelligent and good at his job, but wholeheartedly believed that the science he testifying about was a complete hoax. The levels of self-delusion the guy had to maintain just to get up in the morning was astounding.
 
2013-11-04 06:32:29 PM
homerbacksintohedge.jpg


This is too much stupid...
 
2013-11-04 06:33:19 PM
I like to think of it more as a Communist truthism.
 
2013-11-04 06:33:27 PM
I posit that the apple doth not fall far from the tree in the case of the crazy Cruz family.
 
2013-11-04 06:34:55 PM

MJMaloney187: The old man is right. Evolution is used as a means to marginalize Christianity. Evolution is held up not for academic purposes, but to mock Christians. 'Take away the church and the people have only the government to worship' is the idea.

I think people that argue either way are simpletons, but the old man is right.


9/10. That's damn near perfect.
 
2013-11-04 06:36:14 PM

elchip: demaL-demaL-yeH: Tell me again, why is it we should take the word of one of Castro's guerillas?

And he was so stupid, he didn't realize Castro was a communist.


Yes. And this is pretty funny.
 
2013-11-04 06:36:42 PM
"Why? Because communism, or call it socialism if you think communism is too hard a word, necessitates for government to be your god and for government to be your god they need to destroy the concept of God."

Or, you know, you could just try not needeing a god.
 
2013-11-04 06:37:22 PM

shanrick: elchip: demaL-demaL-yeH: Tell me again, why is it we should take the word of one of Castro's guerillas?

And he was so stupid, he didn't realize Castro was a communist.

Yes. And this is pretty funny.


I wish I got around to maintaining it...
 
2013-11-04 06:39:05 PM

Coco LaFemme: MJMaloney187: The old man is right. Evolution is used as a means to marginalize Christianity. Evolution is held up not for academic purposes, but to mock Christians. 'Take away the church and the people have only the government to worship' is the idea.

I think people that argue either way are simpletons, but the old man is right.

LOL NO.


Says the brainwashed, government loving liberal.

See? You can't beat his argument.

Because since you don't believe what he says, you are obviously a simple minded dupe, already in the arms of the devil. And the devil is socialism.
 
2013-11-04 06:40:31 PM
Before we get too far into this.

i43.tinypic.com

/stolen from another Farker
 
2013-11-04 06:40:48 PM
So how did that opinion go over with El Presidente when you all were comrades in the jungle, Rafael? You ever run that b/s past the Maximum Leader?
 
2013-11-04 06:41:37 PM
 
2013-11-04 06:42:11 PM
I want to see what happens when Ted Cruz sees a queen of hearts playing card.
 
2013-11-04 06:42:54 PM

Phil Moskowitz: I want to see what happens when Ted Cruz sees a queen of hearts playing card.


*diamonds.
 
2013-11-04 06:44:10 PM

MJMaloney187: The old man is right. Evolution is used as a means to marginalize Christianity. Evolution is held up not for academic purposes, but to mock Christians. 'Take away the church and the people have only the government to worship' is the idea.

I think people that argue either way are simpletons, but the old man is right.


Ah, no. The majority of Christians are not mocked by evolution, nor are they in opposition to it. That is the province of fundemental literalists, a group who fails to accept reality as God has given them. Instead they reject it in favour of a set of writings largely based on word of mouth and translated, edited abridged, excised and distorted. Don't misunderstand, the Bible is one of the great works of human literature, but it's not a book, it's a library...fable, morality play, history, legal text, love poems, eulogies, mythology, and philosophy are all there, evolving over time. Creation myths share one trait...they are all meant to be teaching stories, fables for their INTENDED audience.
 
2013-11-04 06:45:36 PM

CrackpipeCardozo: gilgigamesh: He's an oil an gas engineer or something, which is more along the lines of "scientician".

I had to deal with a geologist as an expert witness who was a young earther. Super intelligent and good at his job, but wholeheartedly believed that the science he testifying about was a complete hoax. The levels of self-delusion the guy had to maintain just to get up in the morning was astounding.


A geologist? How, Imean, what,....
 
2013-11-04 06:46:17 PM

what_now: When you hear all these things about homosexual marriage, this has nothing to do with homosexual rights. Did you know that? The whole objective is the destruction of the traditional family, it has nothing to do with homosexuals, they could care less about homosexuals, they want to destroy the family.

When Massachusetts became the first state to celebrate gay marriages, we were all so happy! Then we found out that our families were destroyed.

My state issued gay wife has forced me to wear sensible shoes and attend Tori Amos concerts with her, and I just want it to stop. I farking hate quinoa- it's not even real food.

If you care about your family, don't let this happen to you!


Tori Amos and quinoa? I should be so lucky. It's nothing but Indigo Girls concerts and tofu here.
 
2013-11-04 06:46:37 PM
I sure know all those gay marrieds sure make my marriage less valid; what with all the family health insurance benefits and giving homes to orphans and such.
 
2013-11-04 06:47:15 PM

StopLurkListen: No, LYSENKOISM is a Soviet lie.


Except for the parts which turned out to be true and are now called epigenetics.
 
2013-11-04 06:47:20 PM

MJMaloney187: The old man is right. Evolution is used as a means to marginalize Christianity. Evolution is held up not for academic purposes, but to mock Christians. 'Take away the church and the people have only the government to worship' is the idea.

I think people that argue either way are simpletons, but the old man is right.


10/10.
 
2013-11-04 06:48:03 PM

Mike_1962: MJMaloney187: The old man is right. Evolution is used as a means to marginalize Christianity. Evolution is held up not for academic purposes, but to mock Christians. 'Take away the church and the people have only the government to worship' is the idea.

I think people that argue either way are simpletons, but the old man is right.

Ah, no. The majority of Christians are not mocked by evolution, nor are they in opposition to it. That is the province of fundemental literalists, a group who fails to accept reality as God has given them. Instead they reject it in favour of a set of writings largely based on word of mouth and translated, edited abridged, excised and distorted. Don't misunderstand, the Bible is one of the great works of human literature, but it's not a book, it's a library...fable, morality play, history, legal text, love poems, eulogies, mythology, and philosophy are all there, evolving over time. Creation myths share one trait...they are all meant to be teaching stories, fables for their INTENDED audience.


what always gets me is people who believe that the bible is the only valid moral authority in the world.  if the bible works for you, that's great!  but it's not the only source of morality and proper ethical behavior in the world.  Hells, it's not even the oldest.  The Egyptian book of the dead predates even the Torah by a couple thousand years.  and i'm sure if I went looking, i'd find several asian religious texts that have moral codes and creation stories that predate the christian bible by centuries as well.
 
2013-11-04 06:48:04 PM
Rafael Cruz explains why an apparently quite intelligent Ivy Leaguer could act like such a moron.
 
2013-11-04 06:48:19 PM

sheep snorter: Rafael Cruz tells Rafael Cruz that the truth is lies and lies are like the great glory hole in the truck stop


Well, that last part is actually correct.
 
2013-11-04 06:49:15 PM

vygramul: Linux_Yes: vygramul: Science is of the devil!


F that.  Accounting is the Devil.    i'd rather have a root canal than have to take any more accounting classes.

When I was a software engineer, I had to work on an accounting system and got a close look at what government accounting was like. I think I'd rather be a Cthulhu researcher.


Why not both?

www.sebastian-kirsch.org
 
2013-11-04 06:49:26 PM

fusillade762: Before we get too far into this.

[i43.tinypic.com image 500x525]

/stolen from another Farker


COMMUNIST ATHEIST GAY AMERICA-HATER!!!!
 
2013-11-04 06:53:18 PM

fusillade762: vygramul: Linux_Yes: vygramul: Science is of the devil!


F that.  Accounting is the Devil.    i'd rather have a root canal than have to take any more accounting classes.

When I was a software engineer, I had to work on an accounting system and got a close look at what government accounting was like. I think I'd rather be a Cthulhu researcher.

Why not both?

[www.sebastian-kirsch.org image 321x500]


I love those books. I even named my iPhone the NecronomiPhone.
 
2013-11-04 06:54:03 PM

sigdiamond2000: Ain't no man gonna tell me I come from no damn ape.


We ain't tellin' ya you came from a damn dirty ape. We tellin' ya you are a damn dirty ape
 
2013-11-04 06:55:29 PM

Ivo Shandor: StopLurkListen: No, LYSENKOISM is a Soviet lie.

Except for the parts which turned out to be true and are now called epigenetics.


True, epigenetics is a fascinating field, but no, it's not derived from anything by Lysenko. That's utterly wrong about the bed of lies Lysenko created. Lysenko pursued a Soviet dogma disguised as science, facts be damned, fit the data around the narrative, punished dissenters, and is the embodiment of everything wrong with a totalitarian society -- or one that threatens scientists if they deviate from orthodoxy.

fc02.deviantart.net
 
2013-11-04 06:55:31 PM

elchip: demaL-demaL-yeH: Tell me again, why is it we should take the word of one of Castro's guerillas?

And he was so stupid, he didn't realize Castro was a communist.


In (vomit) defense of Rafael Cruz, my understanding was that Castro started the revolution as a left-wing nationalist and only became a Marxist-Leninist after he was guaranteed support from the Soviet Union.

Is this wrong, anyone? Please let me know if that's the case; it's been a while since I studied the Cuban Revolution and could say definitively.
 
2013-11-04 06:55:44 PM

The RIchest Man in Babylon: I can't wait to watch the same people who screamed for months about Jeremiah Wright try to claim that Ted Cruz's pops' opinions have NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH TED AND IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE YOUR (sic) A RACIST.


...well, the same people also hold the belief that Obama is a seekrit Kenyan Mooslim and still say there's nothing wrong with Ted's Canadian heritage.

/That's at least 3 hypocrisies in those beliefs alone.
 
2013-11-04 06:55:53 PM

Weaver95: Mike_1962: MJMaloney187: The old man is right. Evolution is used as a means to marginalize Christianity. Evolution is held up not for academic purposes, but to mock Christians. 'Take away the church and the people have only the government to worship' is the idea.

I think people that argue either way are simpletons, but the old man is right.

Ah, no. The majority of Christians are not mocked by evolution, nor are they in opposition to it. That is the province of fundemental literalists, a group who fails to accept reality as God has given them. Instead they reject it in favour of a set of writings largely based on word of mouth and translated, edited abridged, excised and distorted. Don't misunderstand, the Bible is one of the great works of human literature, but it's not a book, it's a library...fable, morality play, history, legal text, love poems, eulogies, mythology, and philosophy are all there, evolving over time. Creation myths share one trait...they are all meant to be teaching stories, fables for their INTENDED audience.

what always gets me is people who believe that the bible is the only valid moral authority in the world.  if the bible works for you, that's great!  but it's not the only source of morality and proper ethical behavior in the world.  Hells, it's not even the oldest.  The Egyptian book of the dead predates even the Torah by a couple thousand years.  and i'm sure if I went looking, i'd find several asian religious texts that have moral codes and creation stories that predate the christian bible by centuries as well.


Especially when the latter books of the old testament start taking on a Babylonian twist after the captivity...
 
2013-11-04 07:00:17 PM

CrackpipeCardozo: gilgigamesh: He's an oil an gas engineer or something, which is more along the lines of "scientician".

I had to deal with a geologist as an expert witness who was a young earther. Super intelligent and good at his job, but wholeheartedly believed that the science he testifying about was a complete hoax. The levels of self-delusion the guy had to maintain just to get up in the morning was astounding.


It wasn't Kurt Wise, was it?
 
2013-11-04 07:01:04 PM

clancifer: On behalf of Texas, I send my sincere regrets and apologies for sending Ted Cruz to the Capitol.


I'll only accept the apology if you ad Gohmert in there.
 
2013-11-04 07:02:59 PM

fusillade762: what_now: When you hear all these things about homosexual marriage, this has nothing to do with homosexual rights. Did you know that? The whole objective is the destruction of the traditional family, it has nothing to do with homosexuals, they could care less about homosexuals, they want to destroy the family.

When Massachusetts became the first state to celebrate gay marriages, we were all so happy! Then we found out that our families were destroyed.

My state issued gay wife has forced me to wear sensible shoes and attend Tori Amos concerts with her, and I just want it to stop. I farking hate quinoa- it's not even real food.

If you care about your family, don't let this happen to you!

Tori Amos and quinoa? I should be so lucky. It's nothing but Indigo Girls concerts and tofu here.


Horrible for sure, but you gotta admit Subaru makes a quality car.
 
2013-11-04 07:03:18 PM
Mike_1962:
Especially when the latter books of the old testament start taking on a Babylonian twist after the captivity...

I really don't have a problem with the bible (well...the Old Testament could use some updating).  I just don't see it as the only valid source of morality and religious authority in existence. the New Testament has some great stuff in there that we should really try out in our lives: be excellent to one another, love without exception or restraint.  Beat the snot out of greedy bankers every chance you get.  GREAT ideas that everyone should try out at least once.

But that said, in the end it's not the christian gods that speak to me.  If i'm understanding the evangelical mindset correctly, that makes me evil by default.  which i'm oddly enough ok with it....I just find it puzzling that i'm allegedly going to burn in a fiery pit for all eternity just because I walk a different path.  And i'm not alone either - LOTS of people walk different paths - other pagans, wiccans, atheists, deists, agnostics, every gotdamn eastern religious movement you can think of, muslims and all their various sects....the more you look, the more differences you find, the more ways of looking at the world you'll see.  But all of us are damned to hell for eternity because we don't follow this ONE god and his book.  I'm just not seeing it.
 
2013-11-04 07:08:25 PM
 The last person who tried to tell me that Evolution was bogus because there was no evidence of it actually happening had to follow up with "well except for bacteria, and some viruses".
yea, so except for like 90%+ of the life on the planet evolution is total bunk. Anywho rather than argue this one I'll just be grateful that my children have a leg up on the wealthy zealots' children.
 
2013-11-04 07:09:55 PM

Weaver95: Mike_1962:
Especially when the latter books of the old testament start taking on a Babylonian twist after the captivity...

I really don't have a problem with the bible (well...the Old Testament could use some updating).  I just don't see it as the only valid source of morality and religious authority in existence. the New Testament has some great stuff in there that we should really try out in our lives: be excellent to one another, love without exception or restraint.  Beat the snot out of greedy bankers every chance you get.  GREAT ideas that everyone should try out at least once.

But that said, in the end it's not the christian gods that speak to me.  If i'm understanding the evangelical mindset correctly, that makes me evil by default.  which i'm oddly enough ok with it....I just find it puzzling that i'm allegedly going to burn in a fiery pit for all eternity just because I walk a different path.  And i'm not alone either - LOTS of people walk different paths - other pagans, wiccans, atheists, deists, agnostics, every gotdamn eastern religious movement you can think of, muslims and all their various sects....the more you look, the more differences you find, the more ways of looking at the world you'll see.  But all of us are damned to hell for eternity because we don't follow this ONE god and his book.  I'm just not seeing it.


Look, only one god led us all out of slavery in Egypt. We shall have no other gods before him.
 
2013-11-04 07:10:49 PM
I wonder what would happen to this country is people like David Barton and Ted Cruz's evangelical nutbag father ever got control over the nation?
 
2013-11-04 07:11:44 PM
sendtodave:
Look, only one god led us all out of slavery in Egypt. We shall have no other gods before him.

Hermes?  Isis?  throw me a bone here man.
 
2013-11-04 07:12:10 PM
Has anyone bothered to ask Ted if the world is flat or round?
Does he think the Sun rotates around the earth?
I think these questions need to be asked.
 
2013-11-04 07:15:07 PM

roadkillontheweb: Has anyone bothered to ask Ted if the world is flat or round?
Does he think the Sun rotates around the earth?
I think these questions need to be asked.


if only there was some sort of organization - a religious organization mind you - that could...hmm, maybe ask QUESTIONS to people about their faith.  see if they had thought out every consequence of their belief.  make sure that there was some sort of centralized standard for religious folks.
 
2013-11-04 07:15:29 PM

Weaver95: Mike_1962:
Especially when the latter books of the old testament start taking on a Babylonian twist after the captivity...

I really don't have a problem with the bible (well...the Old Testament could use some updating).  I just don't see it as the only valid source of morality and religious authority in existence. the New Testament has some great stuff in there that we should really try out in our lives: be excellent to one another, love without exception or restraint.  Beat the snot out of greedy bankers every chance you get.  GREAT ideas that everyone should try out at least once.

But that said, in the end it's not the christian gods that speak to me.  If i'm understanding the evangelical mindset correctly, that makes me evil by default.  which i'm oddly enough ok with it....I just find it puzzling that i'm allegedly going to burn in a fiery pit for all eternity just because I walk a different path.  And i'm not alone either - LOTS of people walk different paths - other pagans, wiccans, atheists, deists, agnostics, every gotdamn eastern religious movement you can think of, muslims and all their various sects....the more you look, the more differences you find, the more ways of looking at the world you'll see.  But all of us are damned to hell for eternity because we don't follow this ONE god and his book.  I'm just not seeing it.


Oh, don't misunderstand me. I have no problem with the Bible as it stands, or the Qu'ran, or Hindu or other Asian philisophical/historical/religious texts. They all have their own value, and in many cases the value is of great worth. It's just that EVERYTHING is dynamic. If your beliefs can't encompass that, in today's world your in a metaphysical trap. In your own case, I believe you're Buddhist. That's a good example of great worth. A flexible dynamic philosophy/belief that gets applied to the world around you, you don't force the world to conform to it.
 
2013-11-04 07:16:45 PM

MJMaloney187: The old man is right. Evolution is used as a means to marginalize Christianity. Evolution is held up not for academic purposes, but to mock Christians. 'Take away the church and the people have only the government to worship' is the idea.

I think people that argue either way are simpletons, but the old man is right.


I understand your point. The other side of it goes like this: I cannot fathom some subtle scientific observations and conclusions, so I believe in the supernatural, therefore Sarah Palin is qualified to be president.

The teachings of Christ are no less relevant when you strip away the alleged supernatural occurances in his life. In fact, I think they distance the believer from the obligations to heed his teachings.
 
2013-11-04 07:17:32 PM

Weaver95: I wonder what would happen to this country is people like David Barton and Ted Cruz's evangelical nutbag father ever got control over the nation?


Scudderism
 
2013-11-04 07:17:33 PM

Weaver95: I wonder what would happen to this country is people like David Barton and Ted Cruz's evangelical nutbag father ever got control over the nation?

Iran comes to mind.
 
2013-11-04 07:17:43 PM
"You know communism or socialism, whatever you want to call it... "

"Because communism, or call it socialism if you think communism is too hard a word "


I mean, there is a lot of stupid shiat in that gem of a quote, but christ on a bike...is this dude confused or what?
 
2013-11-04 07:18:53 PM
Mike_1962:

Oh, don't misunderstand me. I have no problem with the Bible as it stands, or the Qu'ran, or Hindu or other Asian philisophical/historical/religious texts. They all have their own value, and in many cases the value is of great worth. It's just that EVERYTHING is dynamic. If your beliefs can't encompass that, in today's world your in a metaphysical trap. In your own case, I believe you're Buddhist. That's a good example of great worth. A flexible dynamic philosophy/belief that gets applied to the world around you, you don't force the world to conform to it.

Pagan, actually.  But your point is well taken.  flexibility is important, especially when it comes to faith.  if we aren't flexible enough to accept that some people are always gonna be different and we need to leave well enough alone...then things get stabby and before you know it someone is getting burned at the stake in a town square somewhere.
 
2013-11-04 07:19:10 PM

StopLurkListen: foo monkey: Can we stop calling him Ted and call him Rafael?

Nah, we call people what they want to be called. Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Mitt Romney ... To do otherwise is only a tacky signal of disrespect, and just reflects poorly on you, not the target of your disrespect.


It's not like we're calling him 0bummer.  It's his given name.
 
2013-11-04 07:20:29 PM

what_now: When you hear all these things about homosexual marriage, this has nothing to do with homosexual rights. Did you know that? The whole objective is the destruction of the traditional family, it has nothing to do with homosexuals, they could care less about homosexuals, they want to destroy the family.

When Massachusetts became the first state to celebrate gay marriages, we were all so happy! Then we found out that our families were destroyed.

My state issued gay wife has forced me to wear sensible shoes and attend Tori Amos concerts with her, and I just want it to stop. I farking hate quinoa- it's not even real food.

If you care about your family, don't let this happen to you!


What's quinoa?  We got gay marriage in my state not too long ago, but I haven't been assigned to my gay husband yet, so there's a lot I haven't learned yet.  Am I gonna have to eat this "quinoa" stuff, or is it just for wimmin?
 
2013-11-04 07:28:10 PM

Raoul Eaton: what_now: When you hear all these things about homosexual marriage, this has nothing to do with homosexual rights. Did you know that? The whole objective is the destruction of the traditional family, it has nothing to do with homosexuals, they could care less about homosexuals, they want to destroy the family.

When Massachusetts became the first state to celebrate gay marriages, we were all so happy! Then we found out that our families were destroyed.

My state issued gay wife has forced me to wear sensible shoes and attend Tori Amos concerts with her, and I just want it to stop. I farking hate quinoa- it's not even real food.

If you care about your family, don't let this happen to you!

What's quinoa?  We got gay marriage in my state not too long ago, but I haven't been assigned to my gay husband yet, so there's a lot I haven't learned yet.  Am I gonna have to eat this "quinoa" stuff, or is it just for wimmin?


Apparently it helps your team win games.
 
2013-11-04 07:32:32 PM

The RIchest Man in Babylon: I can't wait to watch the same people who screamed for months about Jeremiah Wright try to claim that Ted Cruz's pops' opinions have NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH TED AND IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE YOUR (sic) A RACIST.


Has Rafael Cruz said anything that the GOP (well, the Tea Party which is apparently the only part of the GOP that counts anymore) actually disagrees with?  They are fully onboard with this "evolution is a communist lie" thing.
 
2013-11-04 07:32:37 PM

Weaver95: Mike_1962:

Oh, don't misunderstand me. I have no problem with the Bible as it stands, or the Qu'ran, or Hindu or other Asian philisophical/historical/religious texts. They all have their own value, and in many cases the value is of great worth. It's just that EVERYTHING is dynamic. If your beliefs can't encompass that, in today's world your in a metaphysical trap. In your own case, I believe you're Buddhist. That's a good example of great worth. A flexible dynamic philosophy/belief that gets applied to the world around you, you don't force the world to conform to it.

Pagan, actually.  But your point is well taken.  flexibility is important, especially when it comes to faith.  if we aren't flexible enough to accept that some people are always gonna be different and we need to leave well enough alone...then things get stabby and before you know it someone is getting burned at the stake in a town square somewhere.


North Europe version? I would catagorize myself as agnostic. I'd expand on that, but carpal tunnel is sort of sticking it's hooks in just now. In a nutshell, we all have our own gods...grouping together about them results a a wide range of behaviour. Mass grouping tends to be unfortunate in the modern world.
 
2013-11-04 07:36:22 PM

Mike_1962: Weaver95: Mike_1962:

Oh, don't misunderstand me. I have no problem with the Bible as it stands, or the Qu'ran, or Hindu or other Asian philisophical/historical/religious texts. They all have their own value, and in many cases the value is of great worth. It's just that EVERYTHING is dynamic. If your beliefs can't encompass that, in today's world your in a metaphysical trap. In your own case, I believe you're Buddhist. That's a good example of great worth. A flexible dynamic philosophy/belief that gets applied to the world around you, you don't force the world to conform to it.

Pagan, actually.  But your point is well taken.  flexibility is important, especially when it comes to faith.  if we aren't flexible enough to accept that some people are always gonna be different and we need to leave well enough alone...then things get stabby and before you know it someone is getting burned at the stake in a town square somewhere.

North Europe version? I would catagorize myself as agnostic. I'd expand on that, but carpal tunnel is sort of sticking it's hooks in just now. In a nutshell, we all have our own gods...grouping together about them results a a wide range of behaviour. Mass grouping tends to be unfortunate in the modern world.


Oh, and for the Christians out there, CS Lewis had Aslan saying that the good you did in someone else's name is still good, the evil in my name has nothing to do with who I really am or what I ask. (Paraphrased)
 
2013-11-04 07:36:41 PM

roadkillontheweb: Has anyone bothered to ask Ted if the world is flat or round?
Does he think the Sun rotates around the earth?
I think these questions need to be asked.


controversy.wearscience.com
 
2013-11-04 07:38:58 PM
Mike_1962:

North Europe version? I would catagorize myself as agnostic. I'd expand on that, but carpal tunnel is sort of sticking it's hooks in just now. In a nutshell, we all have our own gods...grouping together about them results a a wide range of behaviour. Mass grouping tends to be unfortunate in the modern world.

more of a cafeteria pagan - some wiccan, some egyptian (I love the concept of Ma'at), some celtic.  with a bit of techno pagan thrown in for good measure.
 
2013-11-04 07:39:37 PM
Please proceed, GOP.
 
2013-11-04 07:41:24 PM

flondrix: roadkillontheweb: Has anyone bothered to ask Ted if the world is flat or round?
Does he think the Sun rotates around the earth?
I think these questions need to be asked.

[controversy.wearscience.com image 650x650]


I just happened to (accidentally) wear one of these T-shirts today (just luck of the draw-er).
 
2013-11-04 07:44:10 PM

Weaver95: Pagan, actually. But your point is well taken. flexibility is important, especially when it comes to faith. if we aren't flexible enough to accept that some people are always gonna be different and we need to leave well enough alone...then things get stabby and before you know it someone is getting burned at the stake in a town square somewhere.


Weav, I'm going to preface this question by noting that my farky for you is,"didn't drink the kool-aid". What is the difference between paganism, and deism. I kind of think of myself as pantheist, and consider that kind of a subset of deism, but would be interested in your thoughts. I get this isn't maybe the forum for this discussion, but I'm shy about initiating email discussions. EIP
 
2013-11-04 07:49:21 PM

MJMaloney187: The old man is right. Evolution is used as a means to marginalize Christianity. Evolution is held up not for academic purposes, but to mock Christians.


Note that in this case it is Mr. Cruz who is saying that you cannot be a Christian and believe in evolution.  Christians are creating this problem themselves; if they continue to insist that one cannot be a Christian without being a biblical literalist, then anyone who deals with biology, geology, astronomy, physics, history, archaeology, linguistics, anthropology, or pretty much anyone who deals with physical reality and/or nations outside the USA is going to be forced to choose between "being a Christian" and reality.  Some are going to choose reality and no longer be "real Christians" according to the people who now run American Christianity.

This did not use to be the case.  Is anyone here old enough to remember back to the Cold War, when science was the only thing that could save us from the Soviets?  The mainstream Christian denominations didn't have a problem with science back then.  Those denominations still don't, but it would appear that they are no longer the "mainstream" of American Christianity.
 
2013-11-04 07:50:56 PM

Mike_1962: Mike_1962: Weaver95: Mike_1962:

Oh, don't misunderstand me. I have no problem with the Bible as it stands, or the Qu'ran, or Hindu or other Asian philisophical/historical/religious texts. They all have their own value, and in many cases the value is of great worth. It's just that EVERYTHING is dynamic. If your beliefs can't encompass that, in today's world your in a metaphysical trap. In your own case, I believe you're Buddhist. That's a good example of great worth. A flexible dynamic philosophy/belief that gets applied to the world around you, you don't force the world to conform to it.

Pagan, actually.  But your point is well taken.  flexibility is important, especially when it comes to faith.  if we aren't flexible enough to accept that some people are always gonna be different and we need to leave well enough alone...then things get stabby and before you know it someone is getting burned at the stake in a town square somewhere.

North Europe version? I would catagorize myself as agnostic. I'd expand on that, but carpal tunnel is sort of sticking it's hooks in just now. In a nutshell, we all have our own gods...grouping together about them results a a wide range of behaviour. Mass grouping tends to be unfortunate in the modern world.

Oh, and for the Christians out there, CS Lewis had Aslan saying that the good you did in someone else's name is still good, the evil in my name has nothing to do with who I really am or what I ask. (Paraphrased)


Quite the politician, that Aslan.
 
2013-11-04 07:51:12 PM
Even the Catholic Church believes in evolution and they believe that bread can turn into the flesh of Jesus, which they eat.
 
2013-11-04 07:55:20 PM
Sp...he's bevets?
 
2013-11-04 07:56:02 PM
SO*

So* he's bevets?

/sonofa...
 
2013-11-04 07:57:33 PM

Weaver95: more of a cafeteria pagan - some wiccan, some egyptian (I love the concept of Ma'at), some celtic.  with a bit of techno pagan thrown in for good measure.


I have to ask, do you consider any of those gods to be  real?  Not in a Joseph Campbell power-of-myth sense, but capable of doing real stuff like creating the universe?  Because it seems to me that if a particular god created the universe, that would preclude another god from having done so.  And that we puny mortals don't get to choose who made the universe, it already happened before we were born.

Unless you are talking about a Terry Prachett situation where humans create gods rather than the other way around--but the whole point of the Discworld treatment of religion was to mock the entire concept, and to argue that people are better off without it.
 
2013-11-04 08:00:55 PM

Trading Oak Trees: SO*

So* he's bevets?

/sonofa...



Do I dare?
 
2013-11-04 08:02:46 PM
treeofmamre.files.wordpress.com

Here we have Communists showing their love of intellectuals who have that fancy book learnin'.
 
2013-11-04 08:11:35 PM

Sgt Otter: [treeofmamre.files.wordpress.com image 500x503]

Here we have Communists showing their love of intellectuals who have that fancy book learnin'.


But anti-revolutionary speech will only lead to the eventual subjugation of the proletariat. Hate speech, speech that incite violence, libel, or false advertising are all speech that cause more harm than good. There are ideas and speech that aren't worth spreading or defending for the greater good.

/for the greater good
 
2013-11-04 08:12:47 PM

Weaver95: I really don't have a problem with the bible (well...the Old Testament could use some updating).  I just don't see it as the only valid source of morality and religious authority in existence. the New Testament has some great stuff in there that we should really try out in our lives: be excellent to one another, love without exception or restraint.  Beat the snot out of greedy bankers every chance you get.  GREAT ideas that everyone should try out at least once.

But that said, in the end it's not the christian gods that speak to me.  If i'm understanding the evangelical mindset correctly, that makes me evil by default.  which i'm oddly enough ok with it....I just find it puzzling that i'm allegedly going to burn in a fiery pit for all eternity just because I walk a different path.  And i'm not alone either - LOTS of people walk different paths - other pagans, wiccans, atheists, deists, agnostics, every gotdamn eastern religious movement you can think of, muslims and all their various sects....the more you look, the more differences you find, the more ways of looking at the world you'll see.  But all of us are damned to hell for eternity because we don't follow this ONE god and his book.  I'm just not seeing it.


In my mind with these people:
"People who don't worship Jesus / the Bible / our current form of Christianity will all go to Hell when they die, no exceptions."
"At what point?"
"What....?"
"At what point are/were people required to worship Jesus?"
"As soon as he was born."
"But he wouldn't become a religious figure for another two decades after his birth.  Are you saying anyone who died in that time period, any where in the world, had to go to Hell?"
"Yes.  Shut up."
 
2013-11-04 08:17:52 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Weaver95: I really don't have a problem with the bible (well...the Old Testament could use some updating).  I just don't see it as the only valid source of morality and religious authority in existence. the New Testament has some great stuff in there that we should really try out in our lives: be excellent to one another, love without exception or restraint.  Beat the snot out of greedy bankers every chance you get.  GREAT ideas that everyone should try out at least once.

But that said, in the end it's not the christian gods that speak to me.  If i'm understanding the evangelical mindset correctly, that makes me evil by default.  which i'm oddly enough ok with it....I just find it puzzling that i'm allegedly going to burn in a fiery pit for all eternity just because I walk a different path.  And i'm not alone either - LOTS of people walk different paths - other pagans, wiccans, atheists, deists, agnostics, every gotdamn eastern religious movement you can think of, muslims and all their various sects....the more you look, the more differences you find, the more ways of looking at the world you'll see.  But all of us are damned to hell for eternity because we don't follow this ONE god and his book.  I'm just not seeing it.

In my mind with these people:
"People who don't worship Jesus / the Bible / our current form of Christianity will all go to Hell when they die, no exceptions."
"At what point?"
"What....?"
"At what point are/were people required to worship Jesus?"
"As soon as he was born."
"But he wouldn't become a religious figure for another two decades after his birth.  Are you saying anyone who died in that time period, any where in the world, had to go to Hell?"
"Yes.  Shut up."


I just love the Harrowing of Hell. Stupid Abraham and the early prophets for not being washed in the blood of the lamb.
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2013-11-04 08:25:07 PM

Sgt Otter: Here we have Communists showing their love of intellectuals who have that fancy book learnin'.


I've said for years that American conservatives and Chinese Communists have an amazing number of common beliefs.
 
2013-11-04 08:37:06 PM
i158.photobucket.com

In the past this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.
 
2013-11-04 08:37:38 PM
If evolution is a Communist lie, then this guy is partially responsible, given he fought for Castro and all.
 
2013-11-04 08:43:39 PM
imgc.allpostersimages.com
 
2013-11-04 08:43:46 PM

a_bilge_monkey: I just love the Harrowing of Hell. Stupid Abraham and the early prophets for not being washed in the blood of the lamb.


My favorite are these Protestant churches that have only existed for a few years (or even just a few decades) that insist that only THEIR method of worshiping Christ will allow people to enter Heaven.
"So you're saying for close to 1950 years every person born was garunteed to g to hell when they die because you didn't form your church until the 70's?"
 
2013-11-04 08:53:56 PM
Do people really not understand the origins of Lysenkoism? It's ultimately derived from Lamarckism, or the "heritability of acquired characteristics". In other words, that changes in the organism which it acquired during its own lifetime could be passed on to its offspring. Sure, Lysenko had to dress it up in b/s pseudoscience, because Lamarckism is pretty easy to disprove; but that's all it really is.

So it's twice as funny that Rafael Cruz is claiming "evolution is a Commie lie", because Lysenkoism was the Communist mythos created specifically to DISPROVE evolution--that nature was wrong. Even the Commies believed in evolution, Pastor, enough to create their own "creationism" against it.
 
2013-11-04 09:28:48 PM

clancifer: On behalf of Texas, I send my sincere regrets and apologies for sending Ted Cruz to the Capitol.


It's ok . Still don't know who he is anyway .
 
2013-11-04 09:30:20 PM
i43.tinypic.com
 
2013-11-04 09:30:22 PM

Satanic_Hamster: a_bilge_monkey: I just love the Harrowing of Hell. Stupid Abraham and the early prophets for not being washed in the blood of the lamb.

My favorite are these Protestant churches that have only existed for a few years (or even just a few decades) that insist that only THEIR method of worshiping Christ will allow people to enter Heaven.
"So you're saying for close to 1950 years every person born was garunteed to g to hell when they die because you didn't form your church until the 70's?"


They claim to be the continuation of the one and only real true early church from New Testament times, that existed in secret in the shadow of the Whore of Babylon for so many centuries, and are totally more real and true than all those other one and only real true churches that continue the one and only real true early church from New Testament times.
 
2013-11-04 09:31:30 PM

super_grass: Sgt Otter: [treeofmamre.files.wordpress.com image 500x503]

Here we have Communists showing their love of intellectuals who have that fancy book learnin'.

But anti-revolutionary speech will only lead to the eventual subjugation of the proletariat. Hate speech, speech that incite violence, libel, or false advertising are all speech that cause more harm than good. There are ideas and speech that aren't worth spreading or defending for the greater good.

/for the greater good


Get a room, girls.
 
2013-11-04 09:32:52 PM
They're just telling you what they're frightened of

If part of the Bible (Genesis) isn't literally true, then how can we trust that the rest is true?

And the Bible is only place where Jesus promises us eternal life

We gotta resist anyone who tells us Genesis isn't literally true
 
2013-11-04 09:32:57 PM

a_bilge_monkey: Satanic_Hamster: Weaver95: I really don't have a problem with the bible (well...the Old Testament could use some updating).  I just don't see it as the only valid source of morality and religious authority in existence. the New Testament has some great stuff in there that we should really try out in our lives: be excellent to one another, love without exception or restraint.  Beat the snot out of greedy bankers every chance you get.  GREAT ideas that everyone should try out at least once.

But that said, in the end it's not the christian gods that speak to me.  If i'm understanding the evangelical mindset correctly, that makes me evil by default.  which i'm oddly enough ok with it....I just find it puzzling that i'm allegedly going to burn in a fiery pit for all eternity just because I walk a different path.  And i'm not alone either - LOTS of people walk different paths - other pagans, wiccans, atheists, deists, agnostics, every gotdamn eastern religious movement you can think of, muslims and all their various sects....the more you look, the more differences you find, the more ways of looking at the world you'll see.  But all of us are damned to hell for eternity because we don't follow this ONE god and his book.  I'm just not seeing it.

In my mind with these people:
"People who don't worship Jesus / the Bible / our current form of Christianity will all go to Hell when they die, no exceptions."
"At what point?"
"What....?"
"At what point are/were people required to worship Jesus?"
"As soon as he was born."
"But he wouldn't become a religious figure for another two decades after his birth.  Are you saying anyone who died in that time period, any where in the world, had to go to Hell?"
"Yes.  Shut up."

I just love the Harrowing of Hell. Stupid Abraham and the early prophets for not being washed in the blood of the lamb.


Maybe I'm forgetting my Gospels, but didn't Christ go into Hell to liberate the damned? He was basically arm-wrestling Satan for the three days between death and Resurrection?
 
2013-11-04 09:37:49 PM
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-11-04 09:43:52 PM
i.imgur.com
Your move, creationists.
 
2013-11-04 09:45:00 PM

andrewagill: [i158.photobucket.com image 378x525]

In the past this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.


mhpbooks.com

/approves
 
2013-11-04 09:50:38 PM
Please keep talking, pastor - don't let anybody shut you up.
 
2013-11-04 09:54:34 PM
"So Noah got all of the billions of species of animal, including those we haven't even discovered yet onto a boat?"

"Of course not. That would be silly. He only got every kind of animal. One kind of dog, one kind of lizard, etc".

"So how did they turn into the aforementioned billions of species that we have now?"

"....atheist!"
 
2013-11-04 09:57:24 PM

theknuckler_33: Distant starlight is due to either a change in the speed of light over time or the fact that God created distant starlight 'in transit' when the stars were created. Duh!


As an astrophysicist, these statements make me want to see if I can headbutt myself through the concrete walls in my lab.
 
2013-11-04 10:03:19 PM

andrewagill: In the past this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.


White slavery is worse (or even different) than slavery?

Wow.

Just...wow.
 
2013-11-04 10:06:43 PM
When I look at Ted Cruz, and hear him talk, I, too, question the validity of evolution.
 
2013-11-04 10:10:35 PM

super_grass: You know what other politician had mentors with kooky ideas?


All of them?
 
2013-11-04 10:11:06 PM
This is important because it's a Republican.

Unlike Obama associating with racists, radicals, and terrorists, which didn't matter.
 
2013-11-04 10:18:01 PM

andrewagill: [i158.photobucket.com image 378x525]

In the past this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.


Today I Learned: Cockfighting is worse than slavery, and taxes are very nearly the worst thing ever!
 
2013-11-04 10:19:12 PM

randomjsa: This is important because it's a Republican.

Unlike Obama associating with racists, radicals, and terrorists, which didn't matter.


You're self parodying. I can't even mock you properly because of the reflective completeness of your genius.

/I try to troll every now and again for shiats and giggles, but I'm no good at it.
 
2013-11-04 10:20:53 PM

randomjsa: This is important because it's a Republican.

Unlike Obama associating with racists, radicals, and terrorists, which didn't matter.


But he stopped associating with them after it was found out.
 
2013-11-04 10:22:27 PM

flondrix: Weaver95: more of a cafeteria pagan - some wiccan, some egyptian (I love the concept of Ma'at), some celtic.  with a bit of techno pagan thrown in for good measure.

I have to ask, do you consider any of those gods to be  real?  Not in a Joseph Campbell power-of-myth sense, but capable of doing real stuff like creating the universe?  Because it seems to me that if a particular god created the universe, that would preclude another god from having done so.  And that we puny mortals don't get to choose who made the universe, it already happened before we were born.


all I know is that i've seen things that have no explanation or reason...but I saw them, and they were real enough for me to make changes in my life.  would that experience mean something to other people?  probably not.  But I think the gods (or whatever you want to call them) affect our world in various ways.  But even the gods can't override free will.  so they work in more subtle ways...sometimes for the better, sometimes not.
 
2013-11-04 10:29:40 PM

clancifer: On behalf of Texas, I send my sincere regrets and apologies for sending Ted Cruz to the Capitol.


Shut up and sing!
 
2013-11-04 10:32:12 PM

gilgigamesh: Somacandra: FTFA: Baloney! I am a scientist, there is nothing scientific about evolution.

[i.imgur.com image 769x595]

He's an oil an gas engineer or something, which is more along the lines of "scientician".

It would be me announcing in a medical emergency, "stand back, I'm a doctor!" because I have a J.D.


Not really. He needs to understand things like the fossil record and geologic time in order to be an oil and gas engineer.
 
2013-11-04 10:33:00 PM

sillydragon: andrewagill: [i158.photobucket.com image 378x525]

In the past this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.

Today I Learned: Cockfighting is worse than slavery, and taxes are very nearly the worst thing ever!


I think it's saying that slavery leads to cockfighting leads to taxes.  And taxes lead to world war.

Study it out, people!
 
2013-11-04 10:40:50 PM

andrewagill: [i158.photobucket.com image 378x525]

In the past this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.


Some of that sounds pretty awesome: Morphine, Alcohol, Cocaine, Dope, Orgies, Making my own God.  I could have some real fun with that, especially if I'm also having fun with some of the other things on the list at the same time.

And how is white slavery and slavery somehow listed seperately?

WTF am I looking at?
 
2013-11-04 10:41:14 PM
You know, I should also post this:

Robin and Crystal Bernard perform The Monkey Song.  Bonus: The Ecumenical Movement.
 
2013-11-04 10:45:34 PM

The RIchest Man in Babylon: I can't wait to watch the same people who screamed for months about Jeremiah Wright try to claim that Ted Cruz's pops' opinions have NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH TED AND IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE YOUR (sic) A RACIST.


They will simply deflect and say "since liberals didn't care about Wright, why should we care about this?"
 
2013-11-04 10:51:41 PM

Don't Troll Me Bro!: andrewagill: [i158.photobucket.com image 378x525]

In the past this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.

Some of that sounds pretty awesome: Morphine, Alcohol, Cocaine, Dope, Orgies, Making my own God.  I could have some real fun with that, especially if I'm also having fun with some of the other things on the list at the same time.

And how is white slavery and slavery somehow listed seperately?

WTF am I looking at?


It's from a pamphlet called Jocko Homo Heavenbound.  The term ``Jocko Homo'' was some sort of term for ``man-ape,'' and the pamphlet talked in part about de-evolution.

A bunch of Kent State students found this pamphlet, and after the shooting there, decided de-evolution had to be the only way to explain the world.  They would later create a video project called The Truth about De-Evolution.
 
2013-11-04 11:12:23 PM

andrewagill: In the past this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.


Apparently Booji gave you the papers.
 
2013-11-04 11:54:00 PM

Bennie Crabtree: gilgigamesh: Somacandra: FTFA: Baloney! I am a scientist, there is nothing scientific about evolution.

[i.imgur.com image 769x595]

He's an oil an gas engineer or something, which is more along the lines of "scientician".

It would be me announcing in a medical emergency, "stand back, I'm a doctor!" because I have a J.D.

Not really. He needs to understand things like the fossil record and geologic time in order to be an oil and gas engineer.


No, he just needs to know how deep to drill. He doesn't have to understand how or why the stuff got there.
 
2013-11-04 11:59:34 PM
*yowl*
*heave*
*heave*
*gulp*
*choke*
*heave*
*yooooowwwwllll*

i1.glitter-graphics.org
 
2013-11-05 03:00:05 AM
To be fair, evolution was used by communists to try to advance their agenda, so it's an easy mistake to make.
 
2013-11-05 03:07:38 AM
Meh.  So does Obama's christian pastor.
 
2013-11-05 03:19:42 AM

Lee Jackson Beauregard: Satanic_Hamster: a_bilge_monkey: I just love the Harrowing of Hell. Stupid Abraham and the early prophets for not being washed in the blood of the lamb.

My favorite are these Protestant churches that have only existed for a few years (or even just a few decades) that insist that only THEIR method of worshiping Christ will allow people to enter Heaven.
"So you're saying for close to 1950 years every person born was garunteed to g to hell when they die because you didn't form your church until the 70's?"

They claim to be the continuation of the one and only real true early church from New Testament times, that existed in secret in the shadow of the Whore of Babylon for so many centuries, and are totally more real and true than all those other one and only real true churches that continue the one and only real true early church from New Testament times.


Such sects are properly called by the umbrella term "Remnantists." They don't consider themselves Protestants, but historically are. They're wannabe Originalists (those that have an actual historically viable claim to being the True Original Christianity, namely, Roman Catholicism, the various Orthodoxies, and the Coptics, and perhaps Gnostics), but are Protestant in actual history and in many of their beliefs and practices.

The fourth group of Christianity is "Restorationists," which includes Latter-Day Saints, Church of Christ (Scientist), Worldwide Church of God (R.I.P., now shattered into well over a thousand shards following the death of its founder Herbert W. Armstrong), etc. The common belief thread here is that, like the Remnantists and Protestants, Restorationists believe that the Originalists (or at least Catholics, in the case of most Protestants) dropped the ball, but unlike them, do not believe that any human could restore the truth without being a new Prophet or Apostle or some such called by God to restore the truth through direct modern revelation, often but not always including new scripture.
 
2013-11-05 03:58:19 AM

IrishFarmer: To be fair, evolution was used by communists to try to advance their agenda, so it's an easy mistake to make.


Did I not go over that up above? Lysenkoism has about as much to do with evolution as the Time Cube has to do with astronomy.
 
2013-11-05 04:24:04 AM

Gyrfalcon: Did I not go over that up above? Lysenkoism has about as much to do with evolution as the Time Cube has to do with astronomy.


Sorry, I forgot to subscribe to your comments.

But seriously, though, I wasn't talking about Lysenko, I'm talking about modern times and modern folks.
 
2013-11-05 04:29:58 AM

Mike_1962: Weaver95: I wonder what would happen to this country is people like David Barton and Ted Cruz's evangelical nutbag father ever got control over the nation?

Scudderism


I really liked that show. :( Ugly as balls, but really interesting. Great mood and tension.
 
2013-11-05 05:09:59 AM
LMAO - Obama wrote an entire book about how all his adult male role models were communist shiatheads (including his father) and I'm supposed to give a fark about what Cruz's father's religious beliefs are?
 
2013-11-05 05:41:37 AM
Ironic historical note: the only government to actually officially suppress the theory of natural selection and ban its use in schools and science was the USSR under Stalin.

Why?  Because it "wasn't communist enough".  Stalin had them teach Lysenkoist heritability instead, which advocated the Lamarkian theory of evolution (that acquired characteristics were heritable), something that science had discredited a century earlier.

If you think I'm implying that by advocating a disproven explanation that contradicts observed fact makes the GOP exactly like Communist Russia, that's because I am.
 
2013-11-05 05:51:48 AM

bulldg4life: Between Ted Cruz and his nutty father, Rand Paul's plagiarism and shooting Maddow, and the 2012 Election book destroying Christie....the 2016 GOP nomination season should be fantastic.


It will be glorious. There's a reason Rancid Pubis wants to limit exposure to the GOP debates. When that clown car unloads it will be a supernova of derp.
 
2013-11-05 05:54:42 AM

Jim_Callahan: Ironic historical note: the only government to actually officially suppress the theory of natural selection and ban its use in schools and science was the USSR under Stalin.

Why?  Because it "wasn't communist enough".  Stalin had them teach Lysenkoist heritability instead, which advocated the Lamarkian theory of evolution (that acquired characteristics were heritable), something that science had discredited a century earlier.

If you think I'm implying that by advocating a disproven explanation that contradicts observed fact makes the GOP exactly like Communist Russia, that's because I am.


Meh, I think they're more like an all-white summer camp for fat kids.
 
2013-11-05 06:01:37 AM

SunsetLament: LMAO - Obama wrote an entire book about how all his adult male role models were communist shiatheads (including his father) and I'm supposed to give a fark about what Cruz's father's religious beliefs are?


No, of course not. you're a troll and a terrible one at that.

You're just supposed to deflect and shill shamelessly. Gud jerb, btw. Keep it up.

Believing evolution is communist lie isn't a religious belief it's simply a possibly insane belief and most assuredly a amusingly ignorant one.

Almost as amusing as watching you singing along with Victoria Jackson.
 
2013-11-05 07:00:09 AM

andrewagill: [i158.photobucket.com image 378x525]

In the past this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.


upload.wikimedia.org

Way ahead of you, brother.
 
2013-11-05 07:03:48 AM

andrewagill: In the past this information has been suppressed, but now it can be told. Every man, woman, and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about de-evolution.


Oh Dad, we're all Devo!
 
2013-11-05 07:14:58 AM
Just when you think the tea party can't get crazier, They reinvent a whole new crazy.
 
2013-11-05 08:03:03 AM

Weaver95: I wonder what would happen to this country is people like David Barton and Ted Cruz's evangelical nutbag father ever got control over the nation?


Two words: theocratic feudalism.
 
2013-11-05 08:16:55 AM

EJ25T: Trading Oak Trees: SO*

So* he's bevets?

/sonofa...


Do I dare?


Dare to what? Play the card? Whatever happened to that nut, anyway; is he still active?
 
2013-11-05 08:53:16 AM
SunsetLament: LMAO - Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah communist shiatheads (blah blah blah) blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah?

i995.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-05 09:10:54 AM
Ummm a mentor for 42 years, with a close personal relationship. You know they love to go to bath houses together.
 
2013-11-05 09:36:33 AM

Weaver95: flondrix: Weaver95: more of a cafeteria pagan - some wiccan, some egyptian (I love the concept of Ma'at), some celtic.  with a bit of techno pagan thrown in for good measure.

I have to ask, do you consider any of those gods to be  real?  Not in a Joseph Campbell power-of-myth sense, but capable of doing real stuff like creating the universe?  Because it seems to me that if a particular god created the universe, that would preclude another god from having done so.  And that we puny mortals don't get to choose who made the universe, it already happened before we were born.

all I know is that i've seen things that have no explanation or reason...but I saw them, and they were real enough for me to make changes in my life.  would that experience mean something to other people?  probably not.  But I think the gods (or whatever you want to call them) affect our world in various ways.  But even the gods can't override free will.  so they work in more subtle ways...sometimes for the better, sometimes not.


So you're just as delusional as christians.
 
2013-11-05 09:52:45 AM
www.gonemovies.com
 
2013-11-05 10:10:01 AM
I, for one, am totally shocked a republican doesn't understand the difference between Cosmology and Evolution.
 
2013-11-05 10:43:13 AM

sigdiamond2000: Ain't no man gonna tell me I come from no damn ape.


"Well, yeah, you don't think it happened in the last 100 years, do ya?"
Louis C.K.
 
2013-11-05 10:45:32 AM

whither_apophis: fusillade762: what_now: When you hear all these things about homosexual marriage, this has nothing to do with homosexual rights. Did you know that? The whole objective is the destruction of the traditional family, it has nothing to do with homosexuals, they could care less about homosexuals, they want to destroy the family.

When Massachusetts became the first state to celebrate gay marriages, we were all so happy! Then we found out that our families were destroyed.

My state issued gay wife has forced me to wear sensible shoes and attend Tori Amos concerts with her, and I just want it to stop. I farking hate quinoa- it's not even real food.

If you care about your family, don't let this happen to you!

Tori Amos and quinoa? I should be so lucky. It's nothing but Indigo Girls concerts and tofu here.

Horrible for sure, but you gotta admit Subaru makes a quality car.


Gun rack don't fit no subaru.
 
2013-11-05 11:24:36 AM

randomjsa: This is important because it's a Republican.

Unlike Obama associating with racists, radicals, and terrorists, which didn't matter

 happen.
 
2013-11-05 11:27:16 AM

SunsetLament: LMAO - Obama wrote an entire book about how all his adult male role models were communist shiatheads (including his father) and I'm supposed to give a fark about what Cruz's father's religious beliefs are?


$50 says you never read that book.
 
2013-11-05 12:07:59 PM

Phil Moskowitz: Phil Moskowitz: I want to see what happens when Ted Cruz sees a queen of hearts playing card.

*diamonds.


A little game of Solitaire?
 
2013-11-05 01:11:39 PM

Hickory-smoked: SunsetLament: LMAO - Obama wrote an entire book about how all his adult male role models were communist shiatheads (including his father) and I'm supposed to give a fark about what Cruz's father's religious beliefs are?

$50 says you never read that a book.


Fix'd
 
2013-11-05 03:14:26 PM

IrishFarmer: Gyrfalcon: Did I not go over that up above? Lysenkoism has about as much to do with evolution as the Time Cube has to do with astronomy.

Sorry, I forgot to subscribe to your comments.

But seriously, though, I wasn't talking about Lysenko, I'm talking about modern times and modern folks.


Is this some kind of Creationist talking point?
 
2013-11-05 07:58:28 PM

Linux_Yes: Under a Capitalist System, Man exploits Man.
under a Communist one, it's just the opposite.


--renowned American Economist John Kenneth Galbraith.


So, under a communist system, woman exploits woman?
 
2013-11-06 12:53:47 AM

Halli: Is this some kind of Creationist talking point?


The reason you have conservative folks claiming that science (evolution) is a communist conspiracy is because there actually are folks out there who think that science is a great proselytizing tool for their political (and even atheist) agenda.  There are some of these folks right here on Fark - I know from experience.  The problem is, some conservatives are just dumb enough to believe them, and so they reject evolution because otherwise they'd have to become a dirty communist.  I know, it's stupid, but it's happening.

So no I'm not a creationist.  I'm just the kinda guy who thinks that politics, religion, and atheism should be kept out of science.  And I recognize that people who say evolution is a communist lie are just one side of the same coin, the other side of which includes people who are actually using science as a political tool.
 
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