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(The New York Times)   "Somewhere in all of this, there must be a planet where the volcanoes spout chocolate." Here comes the science (that the article author chose to ignore almost in its entirety)   (nytimes.com) divider line 59
    More: Interesting, Earth, Kepler space telescope, planets  
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4165 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Nov 2013 at 6:40 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-04 06:21:04 PM
Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.
 
2013-11-04 06:30:22 PM
You have fun on the "chocolate volcano planet"...I'll be on the planet with the beer volcano.
 
2013-11-04 06:41:45 PM
I just wish for a planet where there isn't any stupid people.


/no such worlds exists
 
2013-11-04 06:47:20 PM

viscountalpha: I just wish for a planet where there isn't any stupid people.


/no such worlds exists


Apparently after sending off all their stupid people to Earth, the remaining non-stupid people were wiped out by a virus spread by unhygienic public telephones.
 
2013-11-04 06:48:32 PM
Oh the buzzin' of the bees in the cigarette trees
The soda water fountains
And the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
 
2013-11-04 06:49:47 PM
I believe in a vast but finite universe, an unbreakable light speed barrier, and that the event that occurred during the formation of the Earth are amazingly rare, especially our exact axial tilt and very large moon.  I believe life exists on other planets, but the distances between habitable worlds is almost unimaginable.
 
2013-11-04 06:50:00 PM
We can start with the Milky Way.
 
2013-11-04 06:51:51 PM

Pocket Ninja: Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.


The birds that mate in mid-air must have grandchildren with very short lives.
 
2013-11-04 06:52:48 PM

viscountalpha: I just wish for a planet where there isn't any stupid people.


/no such worlds exists


That's okay--judging by this comment, even if such a world did exist you wouldn't be on it anyway.
 
2013-11-04 06:52:57 PM
Artist rendition

www.wegoslow.com
 
2013-11-04 06:53:18 PM
chocolate? how about dragons?

odysseymediainc.com
 
2013-11-04 06:54:16 PM

Pocket Ninja: Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.


So, what you're saying is; there's an earth out there, somewhere, where I'm dating Miley Cyrus AND Emma Watson?

/ Go parralle earth me!
 
2013-11-04 06:54:28 PM
Chocolate volcanoes? Sounds like someone has been playing too much Cookie Clicker.

/I mean besides me.
//Excuse me, time to check on the Grandmocalypse...
///Yup, still angered...
 
2013-11-04 06:59:43 PM

Pocket Ninja: Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.


I'm not subby and I'm just an armchair scientist but I do not think that the universe is infinite, it is however very large and expanding, I might be mistaken but I think this is what astrophysicist think. I do however subscribe to the theory that there is an infinite number of universes.
 
2013-11-04 07:08:00 PM

Hobodeluxe: chocolate? how about dragons?

[odysseymediainc.com image 195x276]


Is...is that an actual movie?
 
2013-11-04 07:09:13 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

A bit further down the probability curve.
 
2013-11-04 07:11:38 PM
That's not what I meant when I said I wanted to go down the Hershey highway.
 
2013-11-04 07:15:18 PM
Came here to leave a "Big Rock Candy Mountain" comment. Was beaten to it.

//ouch!
 
2013-11-04 07:17:52 PM
If you haven't yet (although we now know that you have. At least one of you have..) you really should check out the Radiolab's Multiverse episode.

http://audio.wnyc.org/radiolab_podcast/radiolab_podcast081208.mp3
 
2013-11-04 07:20:05 PM
Chocolate volcanoes on planet tubgirl?

/It's more likely than you think
 
2013-11-04 07:21:11 PM

UberDave: You have fun on the "chocolate volcano planet"...I'll be on the planet with the beer volcano.


That's just stupid, who would want hot beer?

If I'm choosing the planet, it's going to have beer artesian wells, tequila rivers, chocolate trees, bacon grass, and thick fogs that is chemically identical to vapor from different strains of cannabis.
 
2013-11-04 07:24:21 PM

talkertopc: Pocket Ninja: Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.

I'm not subby and I'm just an armchair scientist but I do not think that the universe is infinite, it is however very large and expanding, I might be mistaken but I think this is what astrophysicist think. I do however subscribe to the theory that there is an infinite number of universes.


The idea that an infinite universe includes every conceivable scenario is dumb. There's an infinite number of integers, but none of them is pi.
 
2013-11-04 07:25:31 PM
Since the distances are simply unimaginable to the supposed planet with a chocolate volcano or a supposed parallel planet, how is this even provable? Well, the later is supposed to be a finite distince - but it might as well be infinite in terms of the number involved.

I mean at some point doesn't all of this start to become no different than faith or mythology?
 
2013-11-04 07:26:04 PM
I don't think the galactic economy has recovered nearly enough for such a planet to be produced just yet.

/As a token of our appreciation, we hope you will enjoy the two thermonuclear missiles we've just sent to converge with your craft.
 
2013-11-04 07:29:36 PM
Pocket Ninja: Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.

clzimages.com

And slightly more obscure.
img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk
 
2013-11-04 07:41:02 PM

Pocket Ninja: Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.


Your grasp of infinity. It is wrong. If you have an infinite number of black marbles, one of them must be white, by your "logic."
 
2013-11-04 07:41:45 PM

snake_beater: Hobodeluxe: chocolate? how about dragons?

[odysseymediainc.com image 195x276]

Is...is that an actual movie?


Undoubtedly released after the success of Sharknado.

I wonder how many (fill in the blanks) Scary creature_________ + Natural disaster __________ movies we'll see.
 
2013-11-04 07:44:18 PM

viscountalpha: I just wish for a planet where there isn't any stupid people.


/no such worlds exists


As far as I know only one planet has stupid people.
 
2013-11-04 07:45:14 PM
someone has been playing cookie clicker

http://orteil.dashnet.org/cookieclicker/
 
2013-11-04 07:46:02 PM

Canton: Chocolate volcanoes? Sounds like someone has been playing too much Cookie Clicker.

/I mean besides me.
//Excuse me, time to check on the Grandmocalypse...
///Yup, still angered...



oops, missed your post
 
2013-11-04 07:46:10 PM
The math would suggest that I'm a clown made out of candy on one of those planets
 
2013-11-04 07:51:23 PM

itcamefromschenectady: The idea that an infinite universe includes every conceivable scenario is dumb. There's an infinite number of integers, but none of them is pi.


EXACTLY. That's why people with the whole "Oh, multiverse, infinite number of worlds, everything must happen somewhere!" pisses the crap out of me.

INFINITY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.
 
2013-11-04 07:51:47 PM

snake_beater: Hobodeluxe: chocolate? how about dragons?

[odysseymediainc.com image 195x276]

Is...is that an actual movie?


yup, here's the trailer
 
2013-11-04 07:53:00 PM

Bastard Toadflax: Pocket Ninja: Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.

Your grasp of infinity. It is wrong. If you have an infinite number of black marbles, one of them must be white, by your "logic."


Your grasp of Pocket Ninja. It is wrong.
 
2013-11-04 07:53:03 PM
There a lake of stew and of whiskey too, you can navigate around 'em on the back of R2
 
2013-11-04 07:56:11 PM

hawcian: Bastard Toadflax: Pocket Ninja: Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.

Your grasp of infinity. It is wrong. If you have an infinite number of black marbles, one of them must be white, by your "logic."

Your grasp of Pocket Ninja. It is wrong.


Feeble, at best. I fell for it, didn't I? [blushy emoticon.gif]
 
2013-11-04 08:01:23 PM
I do not

Pocket Ninja: Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.


Great post as usual PN.

That being said, what about those of us who do not accept the universe is infinite? Do you have anything for us?
 
2013-11-04 08:04:44 PM

Kanemano: Canton: Chocolate volcanoes? Sounds like someone has been playing too much Cookie Clicker.

/I mean besides me.
//Excuse me, time to check on the Grandmocalypse...
///Yup, still angered...


oops, missed your post


Heh. No problem. Glad I'm not alone!

/We rise...
 
2013-11-04 08:05:00 PM

arentol: Great post as usual PN.

That being said, what about those of us who do not accept the universe is infinite? Do you have anything for us?


Don't worry, one of your versions accepts it.
 
2013-11-04 08:20:14 PM
Is there a universe where Radiolab isn't a twee, effect heavy show bent on turning a 15 minute segment into a full hour hosted by self-congratulatory pair of priques? Nah, couldn't happen. Fark Radiolab.
 
2013-11-04 08:26:10 PM
There is such a planet.....

EARTH.

Mr. Johnson's 3rd grade science class.
 
2013-11-04 08:28:33 PM
In related news NASA reports record number of women signing up for astronaut training.
 
2013-11-04 08:29:39 PM
What does the opening sentence of that article have to do with any of the rest of it? Is there a universe where the opening sentence of the article reads "Goldilocks got it right--sometimes porridge IS just right," before talking about chocolate volcanoes?
 
2013-11-04 08:31:25 PM

Gyrfalcon: What does the opening sentence of that article have to do with any of the rest of it? Is there a universe where the opening sentence of the article reads "Goldilocks got it right--sometimes porridge IS just right," before talking about chocolate volcanoes?


A reference to the 'Goldilocks zone, maybe?
 
2013-11-04 08:35:20 PM

Pocket Ninja: Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.


Are you saying that the porridge-bird DOES lay his eggs in the air?
 
2013-11-04 08:57:53 PM
www.wearysloth.com

Go on.......
 
2013-11-04 09:07:19 PM

Felgraf: itcamefromschenectady: The idea that an infinite universe includes every conceivable scenario is dumb. There's an infinite number of integers, but none of them is pi.

EXACTLY. That's why people with the whole "Oh, multiverse, infinite number of worlds, everything must happen somewhere!" pisses the crap out of me.

INFINITY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.


2 things. First, the idea is that anything that's possible will happen, not anything at all. So on another earth another me won the lottery. Pi can never be an integer. No one who believes in this believes pi can be an integer or black will be white. Don't argue the validity of this belief with me. I don't believe it either, I'm just pointing out your misconception. 2nd point, people have to be pretty new to Fark to try to argue with a Pocket Ninja post.
 
2013-11-04 09:16:43 PM
We should bring 2 of all animals from Earth to the new planet.
 
2013-11-04 09:21:08 PM

ifky: The math would suggest that I'm a clown made out of candy on one of those planets


And on an infinite number of those planets, you are being eaten by Rosie O'Donnell.

Pleasant dreams
 
2013-11-04 09:43:20 PM

arentol: I do not Pocket Ninja: Subby, do you accept that the universe is infinite? Because if you do, then you also accept that in an infinite universe, by its very definition, every possible event in infinity not only *can* happen, it *will* happen. It's already happened, in fact, and will continue to happen an infinite number of times. Not only did a million monkeys long ago type all of Shakespeare's accumulated works, but a thousand monkeys have done it, too. 782 monkeys. Two million and forty-eight. Three. Chocolate volcanoes? Please. There are chocolate volcanoes, there are raspberry volcanoes. There are even volcanoes that erupt other volcanoes, and who knows what thosevolcanoes erupt? Somewhere in the infinite universe, there is a tiny pea lying in the middle of a desert that tastes like steak but will kill you if you even look at it. There are alien creatures who eat themselves and give birth through their own defecation. There are fish who can't breathe water and die the moment they are born, and there are birds who are born in mid-air but who can't fly and so must mate before they hit the ground. There is a planet made entirely of hair, another made entirely of snails. There are rocks that sing and trees that grow antlers. They rattle in the wind, like a sack of bones. Every decision you've ever made has already been made, has been made every way it can be made, is being made right now, in fact. And out there, somewhere, there is a starship soaring through space. Its bald captain wears a goatee. Believe me, subby, you do not want to fark with him.

Great post as usual PN.

That being said, what about those of us who do not accept the universe is infinite? Do you have anything for us?


A bounded but edgeless universe.  Think donut.
 
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